FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Has it ever been as bad as it is now ?
Has it ever been as bad as it is now ?
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We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on and off here for about the same amount of time as you, I have been let down on a couple of occasions, couples failed to turn up, 1 arranged to meet a couple for some dogging fun and they didn't even speak to me, they just drove off. I think everyone has been messed around at some point on here. I just think it's always important to really get to know people first and build a rapport. |
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"I've been on and off here for about the same amount of time as you, I have been let down on a couple of occasions, couples failed to turn up, 1 arranged to meet a couple for some dogging fun and they didn't even speak to me, they just drove off. I think everyone has been messed around at some point on here. I just think it's always important to really get to know people first and build a rapport. "
I can see where you’re coming from , but the majority of complaints seem to be from people who have got to know potential meets . Lots of chatting , kik or WhatsApp and so on . Then on the day of the meet silence .
We always went the opposite way , a couple of messages and arrange the meet , usually on the same day . It worked great for us until recently . We had a spate of timewasters which really put us off .Can’t be bothered any more , far rather meet people in the real world in pubs , clubs and out and about . Way less pressure , no let downs , and so much more fun . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The interweb had buggered it up. Yes contact is easier but the amount of wasters has increased hugely. Go back 10 or 15 years and it was very different... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my ex were on here a couple of years ago and I've got to say that pretty much everything that could go wrong went wrong. I simply assume that's swinging now i.e that it's totally unerotic and a frustrating waste of time with loads of twats messing others around and being fake. I mean that *is* swinging right?  Hence I much prefer dating now, whether via here or elsewhere.
It would be lovely to meet a hotwife or cuckold couple. But to be honest I'd have to be in a patient mood. One couple on here asked me a while back to have a threesome with them. I said cool let me know when you'd like to meet. And that was the last I heard from them. That right there is typical swinging. That's a definition of swinging. I literally don't know any different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only recently joined the site a few months ago so I can't comment on how things have changed but can only describe my experience as a newcomer to the site. I was somehow lucky enough to land a meet with an amazing couple not so long after joining. Which kind of led me to have high hopes for the site after which I sort of naively became too trusting of people on here. I've had way too many people who would agree to meet then disappear at the very last minute. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on and off here for about the same amount of time as you, I have been let down on a couple of occasions, couples failed to turn up, 1 arranged to meet a couple for some dogging fun and they didn't even speak to me, they just drove off. I think everyone has been messed around at some point on here. I just think it's always important to really get to know people first and build a rapport.
I can see where you’re coming from , but the majority of complaints seem to be from people who have got to know potential meets . Lots of chatting , kik or WhatsApp and so on . Then on the day of the meet silence .
We always went the opposite way , a couple of messages and arrange the meet , usually on the same day . It worked great for us until recently . We had a spate of timewasters which really put us off .Can’t be bothered any more , far rather meet people in the real world in pubs , clubs and out and about . Way less pressure , no let downs , and so much more fun ."
Always wondered this, how one meets a 'swinger' in a pub, club or out and about? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been on and off this site for more years than i can remember. When the wife died in 2010 it was 2 years before i came back. Things have changed in some ways, even more single guys, me included now  In lot's of ways though, nothing has changed really. When the wife and i were on here, there were plenty of timewasters then, both couples and single guys.
As a single guy now, i find more timewasting couples than i do single ladies. Probably because it's more difficult for me to to sort fake couples from fake single ladies. So far though the only time i've had to waste is online, so not had to experience a no show yet. |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
I've been around the swingers scene for about 15yrs. Most of it on another site before joining fabs. What stands out the most to me is the change in what swinging is all about and how people approach it. It all feels to much like wham bam thank you mam and to many singles and a few couples that are after a quick fuck once the pubs kicked out. There use to be more of a community feel to swinging. No one felt like they were being mad to jump through hoops and you certainly didn't feel hassled by other members. These days I hardly bother trying to arrange anything because you are either made to go though a 101 point check lost just to get a reply or just get ingored. Sadly it's the way swinging has evolved. Personally it's not for the better. But that's just my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People arrange / accept a meet offer when the feeling horny
By he time the day comes the not feeling horny or life's gotten in the way
Try same day / spontaneous |
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I havent bothered here for a while as its typically dire finding anyone normal.
Personally I don't mind if someone changes their mind,just as long as I get reasonable notice. Things happen. No excuse for not staying in touch though.
Is it on purpose or they don't give a shit ? Embarrassment?
I'd love to hear from one of the "disappeared". Why did they change their mind at short notice? What went wrong?
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ? "
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ?
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook."
Lets be honest the forums are very much like fb. I see no problem with this at all.. |
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Too many people who have only got a spare hour while thier unsuspecting partner is out. That's what I've found,especially with some guys.
Like you,I too have had some great fun with meeting people in the pub. That's how I had my first ff/m fun,started out as a regular Friday night and ended with a bang. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ? "
yes theirs no coffee in this house  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on and off for about 5 years. I’ve never known it this bad. Seriously thinking about blocking single guys again
XX"
Well _itvclaire it's not much better over here in Ireland....as I just said in a different thread with the same theme to it....the amount of time wasters is putting us off doing meets....yet single guys complain they can't get meets when in our limited experience they do most of the wasting,go figure  ....so we are strongly thinking of stopping meets here and just trying the club scene in England instead......clubs look great...the swinging science seems better organised and more friendly and no time wasters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't meet very often but when we do Mrs will ask one of the guys she's been chatting to if they fancy a meet in the next hour or two. It seems to work fine so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ?
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook."
I had to read that 3 times to make sure I wasn't seeing things haha...
I have never swung so I guess I am someone who you would consider fake. Haha
I come on here occasionally to pass a bit of time and have a laugh as well as a perv and I assume there's a lot of people who also use the site for reasons other than swinging.
I get enough sex in the real world, I don't need a website to build my life around.
It's hilarious having a pop at people who have a different outlook on the site. Getting annoyed about the calibre of people on a swingers website isn't normal.
I get the impression you believe what you do is some sort of edgy exclusive underground movement haha. Nothing unique about what you do so get off your high horse and let others use the site for their own ends without casting judgement
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ?
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook."
Yes, but the forums are a good ‘filter’ to see the type of people you don’t want to meet. |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
After being stood up 13 times in a row and stop/starting chat it really has become a chore. Too many ppl shouted from the hill tops that fab was in essence dial a fuck... all these ppl sitting around waiting for a message to get fucked. There's very few swingers on here most have forgotten that the social side is what makes it different to prostitution/ escorting.
Sorry on one this morning as sick of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After being stood up 13 times in a row and stop/starting chat it really has become a chore. Too many ppl shouted from the hill tops that fab was in essence dial a fuck... all these ppl sitting around waiting for a message to get fucked. There's very few swingers on here most have forgotten that the social side is what makes it different to prostitution/ escorting.
Sorry on one this morning as sick of it "
I think there’s something in this. It seems as though many don’t realise what swinging is. It’s primarily about people and building relationships/ trust.
The impression I get, from the forum and messages, is that many want it to be purely transactional with no investment, ie turn up, shag, bugger off. That’s it. No real relationship developing, or even thoughts of a second meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been on and off for 8 years.
Its all just part the site, thats what ive come to realise. You have to make the site work for you.
Ive found a few diamonds and just accept you have to dig through the coal to find the diamond.
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"People arrange / accept a meet offer when the feeling horny
By he time the day comes the not feeling horny or life's gotten in the way
Try same day / spontaneous "
I think this is spot on. Most couples are getting it or start txting each other during the day, hubby then arranges a meet with someone on here then by the time the meet comes the moment has gone.
C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have been swinging for 5 years plus you’re not the new exciting toy anymore.....
Unless you’re willing to travel out of your local area, you will be stuck trying to meet the new members in your area.... there is a greater chance they are Fake or will waste your time..
Also a very popular website was taken away... so you will see people migrate from there to Fab.
I hope that helps |
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We have also got fed up with it all and haven’t had a meet for 18months
Just can’t be arsed to come h9me from work and get prepared to then be let down
Years ago was different for some reason
I could write a book about all the amazing friends we have made on here but could write a bigger book about the timewasters.....I’m not moaning about it. Just saying
Shame it’s got this bad to be honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been stood up on here, either.
Is it a couples thing??"
No, I’ve had 2 guys I’ve got to know better away from messaging here but have both messed me around several times. Enough is enough now. |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"I've never been stood up on here, either.
Is it a couples thing??"
You are lucky then
13 in 2 months
Countless this year and what I will never understand is meeting socially then them asking for your number to stay in touch and meet up again.. . Then they text you yet never with a view to meeting again |
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By *LT22Man
over a year ago
Teddington |
Competley agree with the OP i have been on Fabs for several year's now, OK i'm older over 50 but not over the hill but in my opinion Time waster city i have been let down by 3 seperate couples in less than 10 day's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been on here nearly 3 years and find that it has gone down hill to the point mr doesn’t even look at it now . We have found there’s so many fake profiles and the ones that are real couples in our area don’t really appeal to us , so we mostly meet single guys now for last min meets .. we put a meet on get around 50 replies but then you chat with them and the excuses start while they can’t come now tomorrow will be better etc ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ?
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook."
What do you think the forums are for then? For me they are the social 'springboard' of the site. |
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I've been here a bit longer op and think that people have diversified and changed their behavior somewhat. People use other apps such as far dating to get sex widely too. There's a more prolific demand for casual sex around and broadly many are not that interested in swinging clubs.
More people are selfish, with little care for others. Sex and the person giving it to them is more like a commodity, even if they are not paying.  .
I think it's reasonable to meet people who have been around for longer and who have a track record of reliability - it can avoid a lot of issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m still quite new to Fab but not swinging websites.
My first 6 months here were great, no let downs at all. I’ve no idea what’s changed but recently I’ve had loads ghosting and short notice cancellations.
I’ve met some truly lovely people (including my FB) but yes Fab has changed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After being stood up 13 times in a row and stop/starting chat it really has become a chore. Too many ppl shouted from the hill tops that fab was in essence dial a fuck... all these ppl sitting around waiting for a message to get fucked. There's very few swingers on here most have forgotten that the social side is what makes it different to prostitution/ escorting.
Sorry on one this morning as sick of it
I think there’s something in this. It seems as though many don’t realise what swinging is. It’s primarily about people and building relationships/ trust.
The impression I get, from the forum and messages, is that many want it to be purely transactional with no investment, ie turn up, shag, bugger off. That’s it. No real relationship developing, or even thoughts of a second meeting."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been on and off fab for over seven years , and I’ve never seen so many people complaining about timewasters .
I have to say that even we have given up meeting for a while as we’ve been let down one time too many now . Anyone who knows us will be aware that we were one of the most prolific meeters on the site .
Any thoughts ?
Thought? Yes it's crap. But that's the payoff for going for quantity over quality.
Once our current subscription expires we won't renew. Fab is over-run with fakes, timewasters and pseudo-swingers who are just here to treat the forum like Facebook. Presummably they have failed to get the attention they crave on Facebook.
What do you think the forums are for then? For me they are the social 'springboard' of the site."
In theory, I would agree with you. However the forums are such a small part of the site and not always as welcoming as they could be, they fail in that regard. |
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Thanks to everyone who contributed .
It certainly seems that we aren’t the only ones feeling it’s gone downhill . Apart from the odd exceptions it’s almost universal . What a shame , I wonder if there are any plans for the site to try and do anything about it ?
It would also be interesting to see the results of the survey done by the site owners recently .
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"I've never been stood up on here, either.
Is it a couples thing??
No, I’ve had 2 guys I’ve got to know better away from messaging here but have both messed me around several times. Enough is enough now. "
Sorry to hear this  |
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I first joined here in 2012 and it seemed easy to get chatting to people via messages, even had a few meets in the first few years.
I've not met anyone for a couple of years now and very little messages get replied to now, so it's definitely changed alot |
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