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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"here is only ever one way to deal with this and thats the truth .. a lie always comes back to bite you on the bum later on !!!
Thanks P"
Well i never lied .. lol was the truth.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Better by far to say no u dont and change your mind, than yes you do and (potentiay) let someone down/mess someone around. No one should expect a guaranteed shag (no matter how nice it might be) but somemay feel that they have been messed around if u turn them down. There are such things as good lies and bad lies..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this on saturday night, just said I had to be up early for work on sunday.
I know, really strange for a bloke to turn down a shag, but there you go, just didnt fancy her enough.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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short term you may up set them ,, and they should understand ,, long term i am sure they will , but when you lie no one ever knows the truth ... and then at a later date you may have forgotten but i bet they wont !!! and then red faces 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd tell anyone the truth straight-away, and if they didn't like it, then that'd be too bad. I think honesty is the cornerstone of the scene, and I'd rather everyone know where they stand. Harder deciding for two, granted...
Wolf
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
We have on a couple of occasions had to say no thanks on a mee. But I usually get Mr B to say it..lol Think honesty is always the best policy.
If we are both not 100% happy for whatever reason, then we don't play. We always make it clear before meeting that sex is not guaranteed.
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its why we generally prefere to do a no pressure social meet for drinks thing first, then at the end of the night its either arrange something else, or go our seperate ways (or on special occasions go back and have fun if its been a great night) |
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By *i_sSwingWoman
over a year ago
Any place 4 the right Person |
I agree with you all the way, if they have no expectations they shouldn't get upset but the odd occasion they still might. If you say no play on first meet it's easier to change your mind than backtrack  Especially if they looked 20 years younger in the pics they sent lol!
"We have on a couple of occasions had to say no thanks on a mee. But I usually get Mr B to say it..lol Think honesty is always the best policy.
If we are both not 100% happy for whatever reason, then we don't play. We always make it clear before meeting that sex is not guaranteed.
"
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We always meet socially in a pub with a view to playing on the same day.
If we are not all happy then its a no no.
Our very first meet was at our house without the social meet and we both knew we shouldn't have played but we were too embarrassed to say no. Thats why future meets are always at a pub for us. |
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i now always insist on a coffee meet first to check that we both feel the lust needed for fun play! i have met guys who were cute to look at, with fit bodies but absolutely no personality or humour. and that does not turn me on.
i have had plenty of crap sex in my nilla life when i was making my mistakes and gaining life experience, so i see absolutely no reason to say yes to a swinging meet i have doubts about!
i always tell them to their faces at the coffee meet if i'm not keen - this is a big advantage of meeting in a cafe or bar!
its far less trouble in the long run to do it face to face than to leave it till you get home and do it online - theres always the risk that hes gone online before you get a chance to and written enthusiastically planning a meet... and if you do it face to face you have a chance to see how its received and talk it over and part on pleasant terms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i hate telling people to their face they're not or me, been doing this about 10 years now and i still does not get any easier
but you have to be honest
i remember when i first started meeting and i met a guy that just wasnt or me at all, i was new to it all and didnt know how to tell him so i went thro with having sex with him, it was horrible i remember just thinking for god sake hurry up so i can go, when he had finished i got dressed so quick and was out the door, he looked quite shocked and told me i didnt have to leave straight away etc but i just let
when i got home i scrubbed myself in the shower for ages and really felt like crying, i just felt so horrible, i remember thinking if this is what its all about id sooner go without
but like anything its a learning curve, you build conidance as you go along and learn by your mistakes and i told myself id never do that again to spare someone elses feelings and i never have
now i am just honest and tell them i do not feel we are compatable, most take it ok, some agree some dont but respect my wishes, i get the odd one who kick off, calls me a time waster etc but thats just life
i just feel you have to be honest to be fair to both of you |
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By *icboyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
when i got home i scrubbed myself in the shower for ages and really felt like crying, i just felt so horrible, i remember thinking if this is what its all about id sooner go without
OOCH...bet you needed a cuddle after that experience...   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i only meet socially for the 1st meet. if the feelings are good and i go with the flow but if they aren't i will stick to a social and have a drink maybe 2 but thats all
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i got home i scrubbed myself in the shower for ages and really felt like crying, i just felt so horrible, i remember thinking if this is what its all about id sooner go without
OOCH...bet you needed a cuddle after that experience... "
oh it was many moons ago now, it was one of the first meets i had off the net back in the days of the msn chat rooms, you couldnt put pics on your profile and there was no cam rooms, was much harder to see people first back in them days
but as i said you learn by your mistakes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i only meet socially for the 1st meet. if the feelings are good and i go with the flow but if they aren't i will stick to a social and have a drink maybe 2 but thats all
x"
thats how i tend to do things now days
i always meet in a public place for a drink and will play first meet if we get on but i always make that clear so if they read more into that and think, yeah once shes there she'll shag me thats their fault not mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i got home i scrubbed myself in the shower for ages and really felt like crying, i just felt so horrible, i remember thinking if this is what its all about id sooner go without
OOCH...bet you needed a cuddle after that experience...
oh it was many moons ago now, it was one of the first meets i had off the net back in the days of the msn chat rooms, you couldnt put pics on your profile and there was no cam rooms, was much harder to see people first back in them days
but as i said you learn by your mistakes "
i met someone for a social and i felt like i was pushed to play ruined my day and night ans since then i have never spoken to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put a post about this a while ago though a slightly different angle in that I had been asked at a meet if I wanted to meet again and wondered what people's thoughts were when I'm not sure if there is an attraction and being asked put me off even more or not.
If they ask about meeting again, I say that I will think about it and try to avoid saying yes or no, which is probably silly but I do send them a message to say whether I am interested or not |
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