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Personal rules for dating?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.
We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.
We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).
Given that she knew that a few months ago I was dating and she knew my gf by name and occupation I turned polited declined and said that I was not read for a relationship as politely as possible. I did this as even though at face value she comes across as a potentially good partner - I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.
Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?
Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.
2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.
And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.
Rules.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.
2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.
And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.
Rules. "
Isnt that a song?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.
2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.
And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.
Rules.
Isnt that a song? "
Yes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I should have expected sarcasm on here "
All she did was ask for your number..
Aren't you reading a bit too much into it/getting ahead of yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.
2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.
And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.
Rules.
Isnt that a song?
Yes "
Lol thought i recognized it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.
2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.
And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.
And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.
Rules.
Isnt that a song? "
Course it is, it's Dua lipa  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.
We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.
We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).
Given that she knew that a few months ago I was dating and she knew my gf by name and occupation I turned polited declined and said that I was not read for a relationship as politely as possible. I did this as even though at face value she comes across as a potentially good partner - I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.
Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?
Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"
My rule is..... No rules  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.
We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.
We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).
I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.
Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?
Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"
I think this is stupid. It basically means you can only ever date people who have never been in your friends circle. And somehow you are managing date people that never become part of your friends circle because that's the only way to make sure a new lover doesn't meet the old one. That or having to trade in all your friends every time you go through a break up. Presumably that means they don't make it past casual dating?
I have some rules.
No 3rd chances. They only get the benefit of the doubt once. Or maybe not at all depending on the offence.
If they don't introduce you to friends or family after 4 months or so then either they are not serious or they are hiding something.
Walk away from dreamers and people who don't do as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this is stupid. It basically means you can only ever date people who have never been in your friends circle. And somehow you are managing date people that never become part of your friends circle because that's the only way to make sure a new lover doesn't meet the old one. That or having to trade in all your friends every time you go through a break up. Presumably that means they don't make it past casual dating?"
 Also, you're kind of tarring people with the same brush... although you've had it happen in the past, it doesn't mean that this lady will do the same. |
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"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.
We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.
We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).
Given that she knew that a few months ago I was dating and she knew my gf by name and occupation I turned polited declined and said that I was not read for a relationship as politely as possible. I did this as even though at face value she comes across as a potentially good partner - I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.
Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?
Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"
If it's your rule and it suits you, it's sensible.
If I was single and dating I'd have two rules.
1 go out for a drink with nearly everyone who asked me
2 if I liked them on a first date I'd be absolutely honest about what I want from life on the second date. If they didn't want similar there wouldn't be a third. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I have some rules.
No 3rd chances. They only get the benefit of the doubt once. Or maybe not at all depending on the offence.
If they don't introduce you to friends or family after 4 months or so then either they are not serious or they are hiding something.
Walk away from dreamers and people who don't do as they say. "
I like your rules. They would have saved me some pain earlier this year. |
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1) can't be older than my mother (I like older people so this has to come into place more often than you think).
2) don't get with anyone from my very close circle of friends as has potential for disaster if it ends badly I.e. Divisive when needless.
3) Fuck before committing, nothing worse than taking that leap to find you are sexually incompatible.
4) Openness, honesty and communication. I am poly so all possible relationships have to be absolutely ok with that, at least get on well enough to talk to my other partners and be emotionally literate enough to deal with that and the accompanying jealousy.
5) Unmarried and not trying for children; past experience has shown me that it just causes issues in the long run because one of them is going to change their mind eventually and when baby happens soo much drama! |
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It's a wise rule for guidance not to get involved with certain groups of people due to situation, including protection of your livelihood and wellbeing.
Keeping it black and white stops others being led into grey areas and hoping for something that could disappoint |
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