FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Could you go back to vanilla?
Could you go back to vanilla?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Could you, would you, leave swinging behind? I left recently for a brief time. Totally vanilla for a couple of months, but had something great to distract me. Don’t know how I’d have felt after a few months tho. Are we trapped here for life, or until we exceed everyone’s age range? |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
I could probably give up swinging per se, but not the aspect of the openness which comes with a relationship born on Fab.
Being able to openly comment on hotties, or message SSS if I’ve had a fit workman come round etc is a huge bonus of our relationship which I would never want to lose.
TB |
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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago
most fundamental aspects |
No I mention to people about Pandora’s box and the phrase that the lid has been lifted. For me, the lid went missing long ago.
I’ve tried to compromise when I’ve met someone I thought I could handle being the only one. It usually goes the way of them becoming jealous and possessive. I’ll stick to my open/poly relationships thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though "
Why would you have to leave the forums, just because you are monogamous? |
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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago
most fundamental aspects |
"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though
Why would you have to leave the forums, just because you are monogamous?"
Some partners would consider it to be “micro cheating” no I didn’t make that up, it’s a thing apparently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though
Why would you have to leave the forums, just because you are monogamous?
Ha ha, I've had better offers on hobby websites!
Some partners would consider it to be “micro cheating” no I didn’t make that up, it’s a thing apparently "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though
Why would you have to leave the forums, just because you are monogamous?"
Because the urge to harmlessly flirt, would be too much of a temptation, as I do it naturally. To have someone I'm with see that, may be difficult for them to read. If they understood that there was no hidden meaning in it though, I'd happily stay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could you, would you, leave swinging behind? I left recently for a brief time. Totally vanilla for a couple of months, but had something great to distract me. Don’t know how I’d have felt after a few months tho. Are we trapped here for life, or until we exceed everyone’s age range?"
I think I already have  |
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"No I mention to people about Pandora’s box and the phrase that the lid has been lifted. For me, the lid went missing long ago.
I’ve tried to compromise when I’ve met someone I thought I could handle being the only one. It usually goes the way of them becoming jealous and possessive. I’ll stick to my open/poly relationships thank you. "
I'm very sceptical that anything more than 25% of couples who have been swinging for more than 2 years, could ever really quit. I know they claim they could but the reality is that your threshold for excitement and stimulation gets lifted and won't go back. Read about the lengths long-term male porn stars have to go to, in order to get a boner if you want a good example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though
Why would you have to leave the forums, just because you are monogamous?
Because the urge to harmlessly flirt, would be too much of a temptation, as I do it naturally. To have someone I'm with see that, may be difficult for them to read. If they understood that there was no hidden meaning in it though, I'd happily stay "
cmon if you're a flirt you're a flirt....... I'm a flirt and have flirted all my life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here?? "
Probably because there is mo agreement on what a swinger is.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here?? "
To sweep the floors and lock up at the end of the night |
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"Could you, would you, leave swinging behind? I left recently for a brief time. Totally vanilla for a couple of months, but had something great to distract me. Don’t know how I’d have felt after a few months tho. Are we trapped here for life, or until we exceed everyone’s age range?"
We often take a break , go vanilla for a few weeks or months and then get back into it . To be honest this break we are on is the best , and I really think we could easily leave it all behind .
The thing to remember is this , we are a couple who are still madly in love with each other . We swing because we can , and it scratches an itch . We’ve done just about everything possible in the seven years plus that we’ve been swinging for . The lifestyle is a fickle thing , meaningless , shallow and full of pretentious and backstabbing people . Real friends and people who truly matter are few and far between in this game .
So yeah , I think we could and will leave it all behind . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here??
Probably because there is mo agreement on what a swinger is.."
somebody asked this the other day and quinticentially it's tarzan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here?? "
To stick my dick in different women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes!you on any other sites she of few words?
No, none at all. didn't think so because she's a right chatterbox person I'm thinking of "
I'm definitely not that person because I'm 100% not on any other sites but I can be a chatterbox at times.
Although I'll be extremely quiet at 7pm tonight  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes!you on any other sites she of few words?
No, none at all. didn't think so because she's a right chatterbox person I'm thinking of
I'm definitely not that person because I'm 100% not on any other sites but I can be a chatterbox at times.
Although I'll be extremely quiet at 7pm tonight "
Ha is wonderland in England then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sexual preferences/kinks are perhaps non vanilla however my lifestyle preferences are for a monogomous relationship, which some may consider vanilla. So if I could find an equally kinky fkr then vanilla lifestyle here I come. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why does not being on fab equate to being vanilla..."
I can see why the phrasing of my post might lead you think I was suggesting not swinging meant vanilla, but you have a good point and I hadn’t meant that. I was thinking more of monogamy vs swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here??
To stick my dick in different women "
So eloquently put  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here??
To stick my dick in different women. Next to candle light
So eloquently put "
Is that better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes we could give it up and have recently talked about it. But for the moment we enjoy it, if ever it became a chore or the excitement went then we’d leave x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh I never was vanilla..
Being bi I had girlfriends before i had boyfriend's and always had 2 or 3 partners on the go at any one time... thats men and women ... after my marriage ended i thought that swinging sites would be the best place to meet likeminded singles and i was right.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been bi curious and always had kinky fantasies..which I think has led me into swinging...not sure if I could do it if I was with someone other than my now partner though...hard to find someone who wants this kind of lifestyle too I guess... k (fem) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a cat in hells chance that I could go back to vanilla. Why would anyone want to when you can have this much fun having a swinging lifestyle.
Mu ideal would be to have a partner who would swing with me, but that seems rarer than rocking horse poo unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a cat in hells chance that I could go back to vanilla. Why would anyone want to when you can have this much fun having a swinging lifestyle.
Mu ideal would be to have a partner who would swing with me, but that seems rarer than rocking horse poo unfortunately."
Bullseye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a cat in hells chance that I could go back to vanilla. Why would anyone want to when you can have this much fun having a swinging lifestyle.
Mu ideal would be to have a partner who would swing with me, but that seems rarer than rocking horse poo unfortunately."
I only enjoy this lifestyle with a partner. Does nothing for me as a single person. No way would I want just a vanilla relationship again, the search continues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oddly enough me and Lucy was talking about this the other night.
If me and Lucy broke up, I’d give up swinging when I get a new partner, yes I enjoy the whole swinging life but it wasn’t my idea in the first place, I just go along with it. Mainly due to the people who swing tend to be nicer, down to earth people. Oh I also get to fuck people that are just as twisted as me in the bedroom, floor, shed, pool, hot tub, car, motorcycle etc. Yolo I guess.
Lucy said she would continue and wouldn’t date a man or woman that doesn’t like the whole swinging life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here??
Probably because there is mo agreement on what a swinger is.."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could you, would you, leave swinging behind? I left recently for a brief time. Totally vanilla for a couple of months, but had something great to distract me. Don’t know how I’d have felt after a few months tho. Are we trapped here for life, or until we exceed everyone’s age range?
We often take a break , go vanilla for a few weeks or months and then get back into it . To be honest this break we are on is the best , and I really think we could easily leave it all behind .
The thing to remember is this , we are a couple who are still madly in love with each other . We swing because we can , and it scratches an itch . We’ve done just about everything possible in the seven years plus that we’ve been swinging for . The lifestyle is a fickle thing , meaningless , shallow and full of pretentious and backstabbing people . Real friends and people who truly matter are few and far between in this game .
So yeah , I think we could and will leave it all behind . "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does not being on fab equate to being vanilla...
I can see why the phrasing of my post might lead you think I was suggesting not swinging meant vanilla, but you have a good point and I hadn’t meant that. I was thinking more of monogamy vs swinging."
I could be monogamous again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im a bit confused why 2 people have replied to this thread saying they are not swingers??..... why are they on here?? "
I'm not sociable enough to be a swinger, and I like sex with both parties in the couple, not just the women. I'm only here for the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh and I'm here because I miss sex
its that simple, and as I'm not looking for a ltr at this moment in time fab works for me
People have the right to use fab how they wish regardless of the " fab is a sex,swingers site" thrown at them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what vanilla is. I hear it all the time and it just sounds like an insult. "
It’s not an insult. It’s just regular sex with nothing slightly kinky or adventurous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what vanilla is. I hear it all the time and it just sounds like an insult.
it always makes me think of ice cream "
I guess it is, I like chocolate or strawberry, something a little more exciting than regular vanilla flavour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what vanilla is. I hear it all the time and it just sounds like an insult.
It’s not an insult. It’s just regular sex with nothing slightly kinky or adventurous. "
So you don't necessarily have to have an open relationship /swing etc to not be vanilla? |
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"The lifestyle is a fickle thing , meaningless , shallow and full of pretentious and backstabbing people . Real friends and people who truly matter are few and far between in this game .
So yeah , I think we could and will leave it all behind . "
Wow, never thought I'd hear you say that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what vanilla is. I hear it all the time and it just sounds like an insult.
It’s not an insult. It’s just regular sex with nothing slightly kinky or adventurous.
So you don't necessarily have to have an open relationship /swing etc to not be vanilla?"
No, not at all. It can be anything slightly kinky or out of the norm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not entirely sure what vanilla is. I hear it all the time and it just sounds like an insult.
It’s not an insult. It’s just regular sex with nothing slightly kinky or adventurous.
So you don't necessarily have to have an open relationship /swing etc to not be vanilla?"
General vanilla sex or conventional sex is sex that doesn’t involve BDSM, kink or fetishism |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does not being on fab equate to being vanilla...
I can see why the phrasing of my post might lead you think I was suggesting not swinging meant vanilla, but you have a good point and I hadn’t meant that. I was thinking more of monogamy vs swinging."
With the right person I could walk away tomorrow without backward glance. But that's not really about vanilla it's about finding that person who feels like home.... |
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I really don’t think I could
I don’t beet often but everytime I think I’ve had enough I get that naughty little devil on my shoulder saying
‘Hmmmm he’s fit , message him back’
Then I’m hooked again lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don’t think I could
I don’t beet often but everytime I think I’ve had enough I get that naughty little devil on my shoulder saying
‘Hmmmm he’s fit , message him back’
Then I’m hooked again lol "
but that's you thats your person........you have always been that person....... Sexy, great figure and naughty nothing changes |
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Nope, I've tried monogamy and it's over rated. We as a species aren't predisposed to mate for life like swans. Monogamy is a societal construct - akin to the way casual racism/homophobia used to be acceptable as light entertainment or "comedy". As a species we've come a long way but we've got a lot further to go. In all sincerity (because sites like fab exist) I know we'll get there though. We just need to work together and be more tolerant of one another's differences. You, lovely fabbers are (mostly as far as I can gather) way ahead of the curve on this. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but it sounded dead clever in my head, my brain and also my mind.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla doesn't exist life here there on anywhere is life this is a meeting point
What ?!"
the label vanilla doesn't exist, this is a website for meeting people the same as any other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find swinging to be like visiting a ice cream shop and sampling all the flavors...
It’s great fun for a time but you can’t live on ice cream alone...
The last relationship I was in started on a swinging site.. We didn’t do the swinging Couples thing we just enjoyed each other...
I think this only works if you both have hit the swinging wall... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You wouldn’t see me for dust.
All this vanilla/non vanilla malarkey is codswallop in my opinion.
You can have an amazing sexually satisfying relationship with someone who doesn’t do the whole swing thing. You just got to find that someone who is as filthy as your are and whose sex drive matches your own.
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"Nope, I've tried monogamy and it's over rated. We as a species aren't predisposed to mate for life like swans. Monogamy is a societal construct - akin to the way casual racism/homophobia used to be acceptable as light entertainment or "comedy". As a species we've come a long way but we've got a lot further to go. In all sincerity (because sites like fab exist) I know we'll get there though. We just need to work together and be more tolerant of one another's differences. You, lovely fabbers are (mostly as far as I can gather) way ahead of the curve on this. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but it sounded dead clever in my head, my brain and also my mind. "
I'm definitely hard wired for monogamy quite naturally thanks. |
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"Why does not being on fab equate to being vanilla...
I can see why the phrasing of my post might lead you think I was suggesting not swinging meant vanilla, but you have a good point and I hadn’t meant that. I was thinking more of monogamy vs swinging.
With the right person I could walk away tomorrow without backward glance. But that's not really about vanilla it's about finding that person who feels like home...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You wouldn’t see me for dust.
All this vanilla/non vanilla malarkey is codswallop in my opinion.
You can have an amazing sexually satisfying relationship with someone who doesn’t do the whole swing thing. You just got to find that someone who is as filthy as your are and whose sex drive matches your own.
"
This, some sense at last |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You wouldn’t see me for dust.
All this vanilla/non vanilla malarkey is codswallop in my opinion.
You can have an amazing sexually satisfying relationship with someone who doesn’t do the whole swing thing. You just got to find that someone who is as filthy as your are and whose sex drive matches your own.
"
I agree, I hate this reverse snobbery to vanilla sex, like yeah I’m way to kinky to be having regular sex with someone I love. All these blokes thinking they’re Christian Grey, it’s just embarrassing. The best sex is just being in the moment, whatever type of sex that is, it doesn’t matter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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One of the concerns I have is what would happen if the going hot hard in the relationship. How hard would it be to stay away from some cheap thrills on here? |
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"I would give up swinging if I found the right partner, was madly in love with her, and we had the hottest, kinkiest, sex. Then, there would be no need for anyone else. I'm still looking. "
You're not swinging now if that's your attitude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You wouldn’t see me for dust.
All this vanilla/non vanilla malarkey is codswallop in my opinion.
You can have an amazing sexually satisfying relationship with someone who doesn’t do the whole swing thing. You just got to find that someone who is as filthy as your are and whose sex drive matches your own.
I agree, I hate this reverse snobbery to vanilla sex, like yeah I’m way to kinky to be having regular sex with someone I love. All these blokes thinking they’re Christian Grey, it’s just embarrassing. The best sex is just being in the moment, whatever type of sex that is, it doesn’t matter."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it bad that I view swinging as vanilla anyway? ......I’ve been doing this too long "
Not swinging vs vanilla, swinging vs monogamy. How would you feel about that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it bad that I view swinging as vanilla anyway? ......I’ve been doing this too long
Not swinging vs vanilla, swinging vs monogamy. How would you feel about that?"
I already know his answer to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it bad that I view swinging as vanilla anyway? ......I’ve been doing this too long
Not swinging vs vanilla, swinging vs monogamy. How would you feel about that?
I already know his answer to that "
Shhhh ..... but yes you know lol! Monogamy is not for me....possibly why I would always choose tapas/mezes.... sharing is caring! |
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I have. Met and moved in with a woman of same age that is simply fucking me crazy. I’m doing my best to keep up (no pun) and certainly enjoying it. So, right now, apart from looking at the forum my swinging activity is over. Don’t have the inclination or indeed energy to meet.
How long can it last though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think leaving this site and not swinging would always equal vanilla. There can still be plenty of kink with a one on one regular partner. I could easily leave here, if i found that someone special. I would miss the forums though "
Been in a vanilla relationship for years now, wasn't supposed to be, and isn't totally we still meet a few couples and one very sexy single woman occasionaly. But since my wife's work put 800 miles between us most of the time, when we do get together there isn't room for others.
But I missed the forums, so drifted back here as a non meeting single bloke. Just so I can banter with you lot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a cat in hells chance that I could go back to vanilla. Why would anyone want to when you can have this much fun having a swinging lifestyle.
Mu ideal would be to have a partner who would swing with me, but that seems rarer than rocking horse poo unfortunately.
I only enjoy this lifestyle with a partner. Does nothing for me as a single person. No way would I want just a vanilla relationship again, the search continues. "
Same here. Was on as a single before and it's just not for me. The fun and pleasure for me comes with my partner being involved. And we love it so don't think we'd ever go back...
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a cat in hells chance that I could go back to vanilla. Why would anyone want to when you can have this much fun having a swinging lifestyle.
Mu ideal would be to have a partner who would swing with me, but that seems rarer than rocking horse poo unfortunately.
I only enjoy this lifestyle with a partner. Does nothing for me as a single person. No way would I want just a vanilla relationship again, the search continues.
Same here. Was on as a single before and it's just not for me. The fun and pleasure for me comes with my partner being involved. And we love it so don't think we'd ever go back...
Mrs"
Yeah, my pleasure is watching and being watched. I can do one on one sex through my regular life, I don’t need fab for that but to meet a like minded guy for more would be perfect. |
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"Could you, would you, leave swinging behind? I left recently for a brief time. Totally vanilla for a couple of months, but had something great to distract me. Don’t know how I’d have felt after a few months tho. Are we trapped here for life, or until we exceed everyone’s age range?"
Nope. I have left it too long as it is. Yes, I guess I will be out of everyone's age range soon, but until then...
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