FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bullying
Bullying
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I feel you. When I rang in school for the third time after my daughter came out of primary school crying yet again,the head teacher said well it could be 5 children doing it not just one. The bitch should have retired years before she did.
I banged on the childs door the next time and told him infront of his mother if he touches one of my daughters again I'm going straight to the police. Thankfully he went to live somewhere else.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ah man feel for you.
Our son was bullied in Yr6 and the school didn't handled the situation well - even suggested that he was having problems at home which were making him anxious. We were livid to say the least.
If you have been assaulted I'd suggest involving the police.
Write a diary of all incidents and contact county x
Hope you get things sorted x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?"
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002"
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Schools in our experience are not good at dealing with bullying.
Ask for a copy of the school's bullying policy.
Approach the school's police liaison office and discuss the situation with him or her, if your child is physically bullied take them to your gp so it's documented and advise the school, the governors and liaison officer that you've done this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?"
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my son has been bullied both in school and out of school...
fortunately his school are very pro active and got the other kids parents into school and told them if it didn't stop their children would be excluded..
when it happened out of school I went straight to the police, who have a zero tolerance policy on bullying within my county... they went to the kids houses and issued mini asbo's to the little shits |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl  
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Schools and the law
By law, all state (not private) schools must have a behaviour policy in place that includes measures to prevent all forms of bullying among pupils.
This policy is decided by the school. All teachers, pupils and parents must be told what it is.
Google school bullying |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else. "
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a friend with this problem. One child making life hell for the others.
The head teacher makes the right noises but does nothing. Bully kid get's 'awards' if he's good  He's properly violent too.
The parents tried what they could but a whole load of them have now taken their children to anothre school. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have a friend with this problem. One child making life hell for the others.
The head teacher makes the right noises but does nothing. Bully kid get's 'awards' if he's good He's properly violent too.
The parents tried what they could but a whole load of them have now taken their children to anothre school."
Forgot to add we're talking about 6 year olds here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've gone into mums work place. Ur kid hurts my kid I will hurt u. Take the fine and give a lesson xxx "
My dad did that. A brother and sister pulled my brother off his bike and started dropping BRICKS on him, luckily they mostly missed, one cracked a cheekbone and he had a few scrapes. They had awful childhoods (all have ended up in care) so the police convinced my mum and dad not to press charges. My dad had already spoken to the parents so my dad went down with a baseball bat and threatened the parents again. Didn’t hit him, but the fuckers were so out their face on drugs and drink they wouldn’t have even remembered it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes."
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view "
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact."
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail."
It was awful. I was so grateful that I wasn’t punished by the teachers, I think the boy I hit was pretty embarrassed, hence why he didn’t tell his parents or anything. But a few teachers witnessed this (it was outside the guidance base) and a hell of a lot of children witnessed it too. It used to break my heart when he would come home from school refusing to speak to anyone because he had been bullied. Or he would be in tears saying he was better off dead will always have his back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've gone into mums work place. Ur kid hurts my kid I will hurt u. Take the fine and give a lesson xxx
My dad did that. A brother and sister pulled my brother off his bike and started dropping BRICKS on him, luckily they mostly missed, one cracked a cheekbone and he had a few scrapes. They had awful childhoods (all have ended up in care) so the police convinced my mum and dad not to press charges. My dad had already spoken to the parents so my dad went down with a baseball bat and threatened the parents again. Didn’t hit him, but the fuckers were so out their face on drugs and drink they wouldn’t have even remembered it"
 fight fire with fire is all we got in this generation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't. "
I also teach my daughter to fight back as hard as she can, regardless of age/gender. It's the pro active way to deal with bullies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My dad is a boxing coach and does boxing himself and has taught both my younger sisters how to do a good punch. Violence is not something we as a family agree with but we’ve been taught to defend ourselves if we get hit first |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't.
I also teach my daughter to fight back as hard as she can, regardless of age/gender. It's the pro active way to deal with bullies."
And yes if a man attacked me, damn right I would fight back with everything I had. I may not win but I would hurt him and make him think twice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We've told both our kids that they absolutely have the right to defend themselves. We also told teachers this when we were contacted because one of them did just that.
In the world outside of school they're going to come across people who are going to use verbal or physical aggression against them. They need to be emotionally and physically able to deal with this as far as possible. School is not going to teach them that, we have to.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My dad is a boxing coach and does boxing himself and has taught both my younger sisters how to do a good punch. Violence is not something we as a family agree with but we’ve been taught to defend ourselves if we get hit first "
Wise man your Dad  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact."
Years ago kids were taught to stick up for themselves, if my brother came home and said he was being bullied, my dad would thrash him! My uncle taught my brother how to fight properly as he used to do some boxing. Once the bullies discovered my brother could fight he was bullied no more. Bullies are weak individuals with even weaker parents!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My dad is a boxing coach and does boxing himself and has taught both my younger sisters how to do a good punch. Violence is not something we as a family agree with but we’ve been taught to defend ourselves if we get hit first
Wise man your Dad "
He’s a good guy bless him 
When my sister was six a ten year old boy lifted up her skirt when she was playing at the park. She was holding a thick tree branch at the time and she just turned around and hit him in the leg with it. His mum went mental, then when my other sister (who was also ten at the time) explained what happened, she told my youngest sister she should have aimed elsewhere, and the kid got a massive telling off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail.
It was awful. I was so grateful that I wasn’t punished by the teachers, I think the boy I hit was pretty embarrassed, hence why he didn’t tell his parents or anything. But a few teachers witnessed this (it was outside the guidance base) and a hell of a lot of children witnessed it too. It used to break my heart when he would come home from school refusing to speak to anyone because he had been bullied. Or he would be in tears saying he was better off dead will always have his back "
When children have the ability or strength to fight their bully then that's all well and good,but sometimes that just isn't possible for various reasons like your brother and my daughter. That's when other people have to get involved and protect them.
I hope your brother is ok now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
Years ago kids were taught to stick up for themselves, if my brother came home and said he was being bullied, my dad would thrash him! My uncle taught my brother how to fight properly as he used to do some boxing. Once the bullies discovered my brother could fight he was bullied no more. Bullies are weak individuals with even weaker parents!!! "
My dad’s a scary man, usually him turning up at the school was enough to scare them. I had an ex batter me when I was 14 and continued to send me abusive text messages and would wait outside the school for me, so my dad turned up and sat with him
My brother wouldn’t tell us who was bullying him, I know there was a large group of friends and bless, some defended my brother from their own friends and others bullied my brother, but my brother wouldn’t name names and the school wouldn’t either due to confidentially |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't.
I also teach my daughter to fight back as hard as she can, regardless of age/gender. It's the pro active way to deal with bullies."
I don't agree with that as it makes them as bad as the bully... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't.
I also teach my daughter to fight back as hard as she can, regardless of age/gender. It's the pro active way to deal with bullies.
And yes if a man attacked me, damn right I would fight back with everything I had. I may not win but I would hurt him and make him think twice."
Yeah I'm sure he'll be thinking twice whilst he's walking away and you're left on the floor... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail.
It was awful. I was so grateful that I wasn’t punished by the teachers, I think the boy I hit was pretty embarrassed, hence why he didn’t tell his parents or anything. But a few teachers witnessed this (it was outside the guidance base) and a hell of a lot of children witnessed it too. It used to break my heart when he would come home from school refusing to speak to anyone because he had been bullied. Or he would be in tears saying he was better off dead will always have his back
When children have the ability or strength to fight their bully then that's all well and good,but sometimes that just isn't possible for various reasons like your brother and my daughter. That's when other people have to get involved and protect them.
I hope your brother is ok now."
He’s 20 now and has been to college and is absolutely loving life, hasn’t been bullied since. At my husband’s stag do I messaged his friends (we’re in a group chat) explaining my brother is autistic and just be nice (they’re lovely guys but I’m so cautious). My brother came home and said he had the best time ever, and all of my husbands friends had made a massive effort to speak with him and spend time with him. I’m honestly tearing up writing this hahaha, soppy git that I am |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who did you get done with anyway for appproaching the parents?
It's apparently against school policy and none of my business - I shit you not I was told that my child, whilst in school was none of my beeswax. That was in March when i approached one parent, after I'd approached the other parent this week I was given a letter threatening me with sanctions and a fine, under section 206 of the education act 2002
Did the bloody parent type the thing out themselves fucking idiots. Go and ram it right up their arse.
Do you have another local school for your child to go to instead?
Bullying may happen in the next school, and the next, and the next.
Teach your child to be strong and fight back OP. The bully will soon move onto someone else.
Sorry but thats nonsense. My daughter when she was in primary school was being pushed against the wall,hit in the stomach and told her mum was going to be burned. My daughter is by no means a weak willed child,the Head Teacher told me they had a huge file on the kid but there wasn't much they could do about him.
My daughter isn't violent and why the fuck should she be,she was in primary school for God's sakes.
Don't be so narrow minded, it isn't nonsense at all. I'm talking from personal experience with my children. My eldest son I told to turn the other cheek and walk away, he was bullied. We moved schools, he was bullied.
My youngest child I told never to throw the first punch, as I don't normally agree with violence, but if he is hurt by someone, then he fights back with twice the force. He no longer gets bullied. Fact.
My daughter was 7 you seriously expect her to fight a violent boy,you think she has twice the strength of a violent boy,good god. So if a man attacks you you have the strength to fight back do you,because I know damn well I don't.
I also teach my daughter to fight back as hard as she can, regardless of age/gender. It's the pro active way to deal with bullies.
And yes if a man attacked me, damn right I would fight back with everything I had. I may not win but I would hurt him and make him think twice.
Yeah I'm sure he'll be thinking twice whilst he's walking away and you're left on the floor..."
Damn right he will be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail.
It was awful. I was so grateful that I wasn’t punished by the teachers, I think the boy I hit was pretty embarrassed, hence why he didn’t tell his parents or anything. But a few teachers witnessed this (it was outside the guidance base) and a hell of a lot of children witnessed it too. It used to break my heart when he would come home from school refusing to speak to anyone because he had been bullied. Or he would be in tears saying he was better off dead will always have his back
When children have the ability or strength to fight their bully then that's all well and good,but sometimes that just isn't possible for various reasons like your brother and my daughter. That's when other people have to get involved and protect them.
I hope your brother is ok now.
He’s 20 now and has been to college and is absolutely loving life, hasn’t been bullied since. At my husband’s stag do I messaged his friends (we’re in a group chat) explaining my brother is autistic and just be nice (they’re lovely guys but I’m so cautious). My brother came home and said he had the best time ever, and all of my husbands friends had made a massive effort to speak with him and spend time with him. I’m honestly tearing up writing this hahaha, soppy git that I am "
Aww that's lovely,thankfully there are good people in this world. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My autistic little brother got bullied constantly at school. It got to the point where I was 17 and in my final year at school, and he was 15 and two years below me at school. I saw him getting bullied, and I always got involved which maybe wasn’t ‘cool’ for my brother but he was always very grateful, but this guy (who had bullied him since primary school) turned to me and said ‘no, stop getting involved’ and punched my brother.
I pinned him against a wall and punched him repeatedly, and kneed him in the balls. A teacher picked me up by the waist and moved me away from the situation. And it was NEVER spoken of again, not by the bully, the teachers, my friends, or my brother (apart from him thanking me when we got home).
I never agree with violence usually.
I hope you get all this sorted out. I would be MORTIFIED if my child was bullying someone - I’d go ballistic! Unfortunately in your case, it seems like learnt behavior. Your poor wee girl
I know the teachers and school staff do their best to prevent this but it can be so difficult. Especially if it is out in the playground and out of view
That's heartbreaking,he's lucky to have you to look after him,especially when other people fail.
It was awful. I was so grateful that I wasn’t punished by the teachers, I think the boy I hit was pretty embarrassed, hence why he didn’t tell his parents or anything. But a few teachers witnessed this (it was outside the guidance base) and a hell of a lot of children witnessed it too. It used to break my heart when he would come home from school refusing to speak to anyone because he had been bullied. Or he would be in tears saying he was better off dead will always have his back
When children have the ability or strength to fight their bully then that's all well and good,but sometimes that just isn't possible for various reasons like your brother and my daughter. That's when other people have to get involved and protect them.
I hope your brother is ok now.
He’s 20 now and has been to college and is absolutely loving life, hasn’t been bullied since. At my husband’s stag do I messaged his friends (we’re in a group chat) explaining my brother is autistic and just be nice (they’re lovely guys but I’m so cautious). My brother came home and said he had the best time ever, and all of my husbands friends had made a massive effort to speak with him and spend time with him. I’m honestly tearing up writing this hahaha, soppy git that I am "
You're such a lovely person. So pleased your brother has left the bullies behind in life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Op turn it round on the school. Tell them that if your child was coming to school saying you had done these things they would be questioning and dealing with it as a matter of child protection. They are failing your child and you want answers if not address a letter to the board of governess and they will have to deal with it. Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had same problem years ago,same shite with the school. So in desperation I went to the home,explained to the father if your son bullies either of my girls again ill break your fucking legs,, seemed to work |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"(I realise my family are coming across pretty violent; I swear, we’re not ) "
Whatever the rules, children will fight. Preparing your children for that eventuality is no bad thing
I don't see being able to defend oneself, if absolutely necessary, as violent. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think this is the nightmare scenario for any of us. Schools are usually shit at this and if their parent won't work with you then you get stuck in no man's land. I do agree with your child fighting back, but females tend to bully in a non-physical way so that doesn't necessarily help.
I know there's a point at which I'd frankly attack the father of the kid. But make life as difficult as possible for the school first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying. "
That is an excellent piece of advice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's tons of issues to address in this thread- it's hard to know where to start.
I'm an ex primary head of 20 years- had 'my own' school; and was seconded to 3 others over the time to help in schools with one problem or another.
In those 20 years, I had dozens of bullying complaints; maybe even a hundred. I consider that about 5 or 6 were bullying. Bullying is targetted, systematic and unwanted attention by one to another. It's not bullying when the school has a nutter on roll who lashes out at anyone within reach. That child should be dealt with of course, but it's not bullying.
As for parent on parent action- if you really think that the school can sanction violence or threats- well have a think about it!
Finally, if your child tells you they are being bullied, you take it seriously. But it don't make it so.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To add: some of the things schools have been reported as saying in this thread (We'll fine you -they can't- they can report you) are truly dreadful. "How we deal with your child in school is none of your business", is absolute shite. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you really want to put the wind up the school make appointment with who is ever in charge and ask to see there code of practice  "
Hardly terrifying in a school which: values parents and has a close dialogue with them; and one which publishes all such docs on their website. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting "
I was bullied throughout my school life it has impacted me loads, I hid it from my parents by joining school groups so made look like I did stuff or I locked myself in music rooms.
I wish I had told my family maybe they could have helped and saved me as now I struggle to make friends, let ppl into my life an trust people even when I work in close team.
Your child is lucky to have a parent like you but pls be safe do stuff right speak to the school an police don’t put you or her at risk
Good luck and pls don’t let her end up like me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What a horrible situation.
Keep a diary of events and photograph all injuries even slight redness.
Make a formal allegation of bullying to the school where it cannot be disputed that they have not received it such as an email with the read receipt or registered letter.
In this letter explain that it has been brought to their notice and the bullying has continued. State that they have failed to safeguard your child and the bullying is getting worse or that the child has sustained injuries ect. If your child is wetting the bed etc add this in as emotional trauma.
Follow this up with the following phrase...if you fail in your duty of care to safeguard my child by (put a date in) then you will make a formal allegaion of criminal child neglect to the police and site the teachers names. After the conclusion of the criminal case consider the local press
Do not approach the other parents anymore as you dont wamt yo be accused of harassment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s awful, I have kids of similar age and I couldn’t imagine how you feel, I wouldn’t want to leave them alone, you could have a polite chat with the parents... if my kids were bullying other kids I would definitely want to know! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Despite what schools say, bully does and has always gone on. Each case is different and guidelines have to be followed.
There's some good advice been given, but 'playing the system' can be frustrating and exhausting.
Bullying happens everywhere, school, college, University, workplace and even on here.
As bullying takes many forms, some people don't realise they are bullying others!
Some people are better able to deal with it than others and unlike years ago, bullying is now taken seriously and not condoned.
Good luck to those having to deal with it and fingers crossed for a successful outcome xc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
stop calling it bullying to the school and start using the word safeguarding and follow it up as safeguarding the schools have a duty of care to the children by law that law includes protecting them from harm in school hours
as someone said above safeguarding is the way to complain not bullying
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting "
had this with my son school were useless and woukd do nothing .wrote to LEA as school has duty of care to your child on thier property and whilst going to and from school .gave them 14 days to take action or i would involve the police and local press boom sorted within a week .schools LEAs hate bad publicity also kerp a diary of every time something happens at school |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There's tons of issues to address in this thread- it's hard to know where to start.
I'm an ex primary head of 20 years- had 'my own' school; and was seconded to 3 others over the time to help in schools with one problem or another.
My daughter has been systematically targeted by the same child over the year, as have others. One of her friends reported they were having issues and her mum went up too same bully. Not surprisingly the school didn't do anything there either until my daughter's friend smacked the bully. Then SHE was in trouble it's a joke
In those 20 years, I had dozens of bullying complaints; maybe even a hundred. I consider that about 5 or 6 were bullying. Bullying is targetted, systematic and unwanted attention by one to another. It's not bullying when the school has a nutter on roll who lashes out at anyone within reach. That child should be dealt with of course, but it's not bullying.
As for parent on parent action- if you really think that the school can sanction violence or threats- well have a think about it!
Finally, if your child tells you they are being bullied, you take it seriously. But it don't make it so.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"stop calling it bullying to the school and start using the word safeguarding and follow it up as safeguarding the schools have a duty of care to the children by law that law includes protecting them from harm in school hours
as someone said above safeguarding is the way to complain not bullying
"
Already have to be blunt it shouldn't be about the words used it should be about the school protecting all the children in their care personally I now (having been digging) am so bothered about this (for the bully/child affecting my child in a constant, negative way) that I will be involving social services tomorrow too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's always been my biggest fear hence why my kid has done Krav Maga for almost 4 years now and kickboxing. Plus most the kids she's in school with are children to parents that I was in school with or surrounding schools where I would have played the parents in hockey or netball. It's not big or clever but I was scrappy in school and had a rep of being a nutter.
A boy 2 school years above my kid does maths lessons with her and last year he hit her across the head with a branch, school said there was an incident and they were dealing with the child but wouldn't say the name. My daughter told me who it was and I went straight to the kids house, I knew the parents from school, simply said I know kids can be bastards but hitting her with a tree branch across the head is dangerous, have a word. They were both apologising profusely and she's never had bother off him again, he hi fives her in school now and picks her flowers (that he's not supposed to do)
My daughter can handle herself but I've never been called in to school for her, she takes on the role of protector of all her friends like I was in school.
Put your kid in some kind of martial arts club, even if it's just for the confidence it gives you.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Our daughter was bullied in junior school, I spoke with the mother who assured me that we must be mistaken but she would have a word with her little darling. It stopped for a while but then restarted and got worse, hubby went in to see the headmistress who got all six of the girls together for a heart to heart chat. We were told that there were tears and apologies and the girls were now best of friends. On her last week of school we found out that the bullying had started again a couple of weeks after the meeting but had got worse, they also taunted her with “are you going to tell daddy again” so she kept things to herself and bottled it up. Hubby went down for the final parents evening, let the teacher tell us how well our daughter had done then dropped the bombshell that we had found out that she was still being bullied and we believe that they were turning a blind eye. It’s an awful situation that has no easy correct and effective ways to deal with it.
Our son was being bullied a couple of years ago when he was 6/7 years old. The usual playground accident, other kids being told not to play with him by the bully etc. The more he ran and hid the worse it got. The more desperate he got to find new friends to play with instead the new friends soon dropped him in fear of being bullied themselves. My hubby started taking him to football matches, all the adults love him there, his passion for the game and his non stop singing and cheering have endeared him to everyone who sits around him. When he now goes to school the other boys are talking about football they’ve seen on tv while he is talking about the football game he went to. His street cred I suppose has gone up but so has his confidence. This culminated 3 weeks ago when he got into an argument with the school bully who then asked him for a fight. 2 years ago he would have ran, this time he didn’t and gave as good as he got before the dinner lady intervened. He stood up to the bully , didn’t back down, didn’t cry and punched back as hard as he could. Funnily enough he’s had no problems since! I hate saying it because it shouldn’t have to be like that but from our experience the only way to stop them is to stand up to them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ugghhh what an awful situation to be in for both yourself and your kid
I’ve only got one experience with dealing with bullies and it was when my younger brother was being terrorised by two lads who lived near us.
Our parents trying to deal with their parents didn’t work in several occasions, school was useless.....
I don’t condone violence as the first resort but there’s definitely a place for it. Funnily enough the bullying stopped against my brother when I kicked the fuck out of one of the lads in front of the other.
The other lad was told you’re next if you touch my brother again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So as a summary. Asking the school to deal with it virtually never works. Confronting their parents rarely works, probably because the parents are the cause. Fighting back works reasonably well and police are an option with 'mini Asbo's. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So as a summary. Asking the school to deal with it virtually never works. Confronting their parents rarely works, probably because the parents are the cause. Fighting back works reasonably well and police are an option with 'mini Asbo's. "
(I think this is the one and only time I actually agree with you in the forums ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"It's always been my biggest fear hence why my kid has done Krav Maga for almost 4 years now and kickboxing. Plus most the kids she's in school with are children to parents that I was in school with or surrounding schools where I would have played the parents in hockey or netball. It's not big or clever but I was scrappy in school and had a rep of being a nutter.
A boy 2 school years above my kid does maths lessons with her and last year he hit her across the head with a branch, school said there was an incident and they were dealing with the child but wouldn't say the name. My daughter told me who it was and I went straight to the kids house, I knew the parents from school, simply said I know kids can be bastards but hitting her with a tree branch across the head is dangerous, have a word. They were both apologising profusely and she's never had bother off him again, he hi fives her in school now and picks her flowers (that he's not supposed to do)
My daughter can handle herself but I've never been called in to school for her, she takes on the role of protector of all her friends like I was in school.
Put your kid in some kind of martial arts club, even if it's just for the confidence it gives you.
"
Not all kids have your confidence or a parent able to stand up for them - hence why bullying is a very debilitating condition for them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So as a summary. Asking the school to deal with it virtually never works. Confronting their parents rarely works, probably because the parents are the cause. Fighting back works reasonably well and police are an option with 'mini Asbo's.
(I think this is the one and only time I actually agree with you in the forums ) "
Sad though, isn't it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have told both my children that if someone hits them then they are to hit back.
A person is less likely to repeatedly target someone who will stand up to them and fight back, than someone who is passive.
I had someone attempt to bully me in School and the only reason she stopped was because i just snapped and had her up against the wall by her throat. She never bothered me again.
My eldest son was bullied in his last School by a child who came from an abusive background (this was discovered later on) and the School protected him rather than take my concerns (which i had put in writing) seriously.
We moved so the problem ended there but my eldest has had it drummed into him by School that you don’t hit someone.
But i have told him that if anyone lays a finger on you then you defend yourself and i will back you up.
I don’t care if that’s the right way or the wrong way. It’s the way that works. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying. "
LEA local education authority
EWO ??.
No local primary school has their own Bobby - police told me that when they took a statement from me. But they do have to go in and see staff.
LSCB ??
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think this is the nightmare scenario for any of us. Schools are usually shit at this and if their parent won't work with you then you get stuck in no man's land. I do agree with your child fighting back, but females tend to bully in a non-physical way so that doesn't necessarily help.
I know there's a point at which I'd frankly attack the father of the kid. But make life as difficult as possible for the school first. "
This child is a girl and uses her fists and mouth and there's two mams but no dad (not that that should make a bit of difference) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There's tons of issues to address in this thread- it's hard to know where to start.
I'm an ex primary head of 20 years- had 'my own' school; and was seconded to 3 others over the time to help in schools with one problem or another.
In those 20 years, I had dozens of bullying complaints; maybe even a hundred. I consider that about 5 or 6 were bullying. Bullying is targetted, systematic and unwanted attention by one to another. It's not bullying when the school has a nutter on roll who lashes out at anyone within reach. That child should be dealt with of course, but it's not bullying.
As for parent on parent action- if you really think that the school can sanction violence or threats- well have a think about it!
Finally, if your child tells you they are being bullied, you take it seriously. But it don't make it so.
"
I'm sorry, but if any unwanted behaviour causes upset of any kind over a prolonged period of time - then it's bullying. My daughter isn't imagining being smacked (and her form teachers have backed her up on this) and I'm not imagining the lashing out and tears because she's afraid of what's coming next and the teachers don't do anything |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There's tons of issues to address in this thread- it's hard to know where to start.
I'm an ex primary head of 20 years- had 'my own' school; and was seconded to 3 others over the time to help in schools with one problem or another.
In those 20 years, I had dozens of bullying complaints; maybe even a hundred. I consider that about 5 or 6 were bullying. Bullying is targetted, systematic and unwanted attention by one to another. It's not bullying when the school has a nutter on roll who lashes out at anyone within reach. That child should be dealt with of course, but it's not bullying.
As for parent on parent action- if you really think that the school can sanction violence or threats- well have a think about it!
Finally, if your child tells you they are being bullied, you take it seriously. But it don't make it so.
"
You mention parent on parent action I didn't hit them I approached each mum, at different times, in a reasonable and calm manner. One response was I'll go tell little fucker now - and storm off into the classroom - to have a go at the teacher. Same woman went into the classroom on Friday effing and blinding. Of course, something should be said about that but I'm not being threatened by anybody for trying to stick up for my child |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To add: some of the things schools have been reported as saying in this thread (We'll fine you -they can't- they can report you) are truly dreadful. "How we deal with your child in school is none of your business", is absolute shite."
Thank you and thank you for the other advice offered also xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s awful, I have kids of similar age and I couldn’t imagine how you feel, I wouldn’t want to leave them alone, you could have a polite chat with the parents... if my kids were bullying other kids I would definitely want to know! "
Tried that sweet with both parents end result - I was assaulted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying.
"
LEA local education authority
EWO ??. Education Welfare Officer
No local primary school has their own Bobby - police told me that when they took a statement from me. But they do have to go in and see staff.
The school won’t have their very own officer, but there will be an officer as main point of contact in regards to the school - they should be known as the liasons officer, unless your local authority is still behind the times. (Likely)
LSCB ?? Local Safeguarding Children’s Board |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying.
LEA local education authority
EWO ??. Education Welfare Officer
No local primary school has their own Bobby - police told me that when they took a statement from me. But they do have to go in and see staff.
The school won’t have their very own officer, but there will be an officer as main point of contact in regards to the school - they should be known as the liasons officer, unless your local authority is still behind the times. (Likely)
LSCB ?? Local Safeguarding Children’s Board"
Thank you
The police told me that they are not allocated the resources to attend primary schools as a general rule but will have to in this instance because of what happened |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s awful, I have kids of similar age and I couldn’t imagine how you feel, I wouldn’t want to leave them alone, you could have a polite chat with the parents... if my kids were bullying other kids I would definitely want to know!
Tried that sweet with both parents end result - I was assaulted "
So not a mystery why their kid is a little shit then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stage 1
Start by writing a formal letter to the school requesting they act to protect your child, try to record instances when your child has been bullied and include those instances in the letter.
Ask that time between your child and the bully/bullies is limited, and where not possible, that time together has increased supervision.
If you haven’t already started a diary of events, do so now.
Stage 2
Any physical or mental injuries take your child to the doctor on each occasion - make sure appointments are made in school time so you have to take your child out of lessons for the appointment - make sure you request from thr teacher any missed work for you to complete at home.
Now write a formal letter of complaint to the school - requesting a response in writing and the outcome in writing.
Keep that diary of events up to date
Stage three
Contact the LEA and the EWO and explain the situation to them, particularly emphasise the time off school and educational impact this is having.
Contact the local police liaisons officer, in primary school, at that age, the police have little power, but their input, visiting the parents and dishing out a bollocking can sometimes be enough, it also starts a record for legal private or criminal action.
Contact your LSCB and explain the situation to them - Be clear you are reporting a safeguarding concern.
By now you should have collated a great deal of evidence / you've been keeping that diary of events up to date haven’t you? Pass all this on to the safeguarding team.
I would sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved by stage three, but so many school are still in the Stone Age these days with bullying.
LEA local education authority
EWO ??. Education Welfare Officer
No local primary school has their own Bobby - police told me that when they took a statement from me. But they do have to go in and see staff.
The school won’t have their very own officer, but there will be an officer as main point of contact in regards to the school - they should be known as the liasons officer, unless your local authority is still behind the times. (Likely)
LSCB ?? Local Safeguarding Children’s Board
Thank you
The police told me that they are not allocated the resources to attend primary schools as a general rule but will have to in this instance because of what happened "
Standard police bollocks from some lazy toad in uniform. Ignore that misinformation and continue to report - make sure any police involvement or any fobbing off they give also goes in your diary. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
"
Utterly agree!
If a Headteacher realises that he or she is facing the "Brown Stuff" coming down from 'higher up' they'll do something!
Anazing how some Head Teachers hide behind their rhetoric of "we have robust Anti Bullying measures" blah! Blah! Blah!
Well, if you did someone's child would not be bullied!
Threats to involve the local Media and name & shame the culprits works wonders! Plus, ensure to advise the Head that their name & their incompetence will also be passed onto the Media too!
Never fails! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
Utterly agree!
If a Headteacher realises that he or she is facing the "Brown Stuff" coming down from 'higher up' they'll do something!
Anazing how some Head Teachers hide behind their rhetoric of "we have robust Anti Bullying measures" blah! Blah! Blah!
Well, if you did someone's child would not be bullied!
Threats to involve the local Media and name & shame the culprits works wonders! Plus, ensure to advise the Head that their name & their incompetence will also be passed onto the Media too!
Never fails!"
Incredibly dangerous advice - most school have malicious action policies in place which the above action would completely fall in to, the repercussions of which would likely be entirely damaging to you, your child’s education and any credibility you may have had.
I would only advocate the above advice (and even then tentatively - if handled very carefully) when ALL over avenues have failed - particularly in that you have completely exhausted the schools complaints procedure - which unfortunately, following due process from first complaint, to escalation, to governors, to escalation to appeal, to LEA could take up to 4 - 6 months. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
Utterly agree!
If a Headteacher realises that he or she is facing the "Brown Stuff" coming down from 'higher up' they'll do something!
Anazing how some Head Teachers hide behind their rhetoric of "we have robust Anti Bullying measures" blah! Blah! Blah!
Well, if you did someone's child would not be bullied!
Threats to involve the local Media and name & shame the culprits works wonders! Plus, ensure to advise the Head that their name & their incompetence will also be passed onto the Media too!
Never fails!
Incredibly dangerous advice - most school have malicious action policies in place which the above action would completely fall in to, the repercussions of which would likely be entirely damaging to you, your child’s education and any credibility you may have had.
I would only advocate the above advice (and even then tentatively - if handled very carefully) when ALL over avenues have failed - particularly in that you have completely exhausted the schools complaints procedure - which unfortunately, following due process from first complaint, to escalation, to governors, to escalation to appeal, to LEA could take up to 4 - 6 months. "
I would not allow my child to be bullied for that length of time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
Utterly agree!
If a Headteacher realises that he or she is facing the "Brown Stuff" coming down from 'higher up' they'll do something!
Anazing how some Head Teachers hide behind their rhetoric of "we have robust Anti Bullying measures" blah! Blah! Blah!
Well, if you did someone's child would not be bullied!
Threats to involve the local Media and name & shame the culprits works wonders! Plus, ensure to advise the Head that their name & their incompetence will also be passed onto the Media too!
Never fails!
Incredibly dangerous advice - most school have malicious action policies in place which the above action would completely fall in to, the repercussions of which would likely be entirely damaging to you, your child’s education and any credibility you may have had.
I would only advocate the above advice (and even then tentatively - if handled very carefully) when ALL over avenues have failed - particularly in that you have completely exhausted the schools complaints procedure - which unfortunately, following due process from first complaint, to escalation, to governors, to escalation to appeal, to LEA could take up to 4 - 6 months.
I would not allow my child to be bullied for that length of time."
Not what I said or suggested |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's tons of issues to address in this thread- it's hard to know where to start.
I'm an ex primary head of 20 years- had 'my own' school; and was seconded to 3 others over the time to help in schools with one problem or another.
In those 20 years, I had dozens of bullying complaints; maybe even a hundred. I consider that about 5 or 6 were bullying. Bullying is targetted, systematic and unwanted attention by one to another. It's not bullying when the school has a nutter on roll who lashes out at anyone within reach. That child should be dealt with of course, but it's not bullying.
As for parent on parent action- if you really think that the school can sanction violence or threats- well have a think about it!
Finally, if your child tells you they are being bullied, you take it seriously. But it don't make it so.
"
Teaching for over 20 years in 4 schools and only 5 or 6 cases of actual bullying ??? Really.... no offence but is your viewpoint a reflection of many education professionals simply dismissing or ignoring actual problems or incidences ??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
Sorry but they cant sanction you.
I had an issue with another parent approaching myself and my mother in school. They said it was none of their business.
So I rang the police and told them if she carried on I'd smack her so they needed to tell her to stay away.
Worked a charm. Didn't get in trouble, got told it was understandable and I was doing the right thing but nipping it in the bud before anything bad happened.
Stupid woman can't even look me in the eye over a year later.
Her kid is a little shit as well, keeps hitting my daughter. Told the teacher if it didn't get sorted I'd be having words with his mother. Soon stopped. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting "
Take her to sum Marshall arts lessons.
She won't be bullied for mutch longer wen she lurns sum self defence and can give wot for back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A couple of views from me.....
1) kids fight and "bully" each other. Always happened and always will.
2) is this website really your go to place for advice on a family issue that is clearly causing you a lot of pain..
Oh dear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Quote Teaching for over 20 years in 4 schools and only 5 or 6 cases of actual bullying ??? Really.... no offence but is your viewpoint a reflection of many education professionals simply dismissing or ignoring actual problems or incidences ??? Quote
20 years as a Head. So I'm the person who parents came to when they were unhappy. I'm the one who investigated and put in place actions to stop what was going on. In 20 years, I never ever ignored an actual problem or incident.
As to the remedies in this thread- they are overwhelmingly, a) teach your child to attack another one, b) schools are all shit, so get down there and sort them out, or c) threaten another parent or their child with physical violence. What if the bullying contains no physical stuff at all- all bitchiness and psych stuff? Older girls particularly, need not say anything at all to make another feel hurt. Punch them in the face? Because they 'looked at me'. Good luck in your child's school career if that's your advice to them.
Jump forward 20 years- how do those approaches work in real life now you're 25-30 years old. How often do you think bullying in the workplace is resolved by performing black belt origami on the bully? Then who gets sacked? Then who gets their collar felt?
But it's ok for 5 year olds to be encouraged to do it. Have a think about it ffs.
Bullying happens. It is not normal, and something we all have to go through cos it's character forming. It needs dealing with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *w79Man
over a year ago
Stalbridge |
I was bullied physically & verbally throughout my entire time at secondary/comprehensive school.
Mainly because I was poor at sports, reasonably intelligent, short & fat (my weight is something I've struggled with all my life).
The school didn't want to know because the bullies were the ones who represented the school in sports events.
I don't condone violence but I've tracked most of them down 1 by 1 starting a few years after leaving school & had a quiet word or two with them.
Its quite satisfying to see their facial expression when they realise who I am & now I'm the one who is physically bigger, stronger, harder & faster than them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A couple of views from me.....
1) kids fight and "bully" each other. Always happened and always will.
2) is this website really your go to place for advice on a family issue that is clearly causing you a lot of pain..
Oh dear"
1) That doesn't make it acceptable,do you have kid's? Is that something that you would say to your little one that comes out of primary in tears yet again? Shall I get another guy to come into your work place today and thump you and then do it again tomorrow and the day after and the day after that,would that be ok. It sounds likes you expect kid's to tolerate it so I presume you'd be fine with that.
2) People can ask what the heck they like here within rules,it's about hearing others experiences and giving support. If you don't like that stay away from the lounge as it will only disappoint you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was bullied physically & verbally throughout my entire time at secondary/comprehensive school.
Mainly because I was poor at sports, reasonably intelligent, short & fat (my weight is something I've struggled with all my life).
The school didn't want to know because the bullies were the ones who represented the school in sports events.
I don't condone violence but I've tracked most of them down 1 by 1 starting a few years after leaving school & had a quiet word or two with them.
Its quite satisfying to see their facial expression when they realise who I am & now I'm the one who is physically bigger, stronger, harder & faster than them. "
Respek Godfather |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1. I never said it was acceptable but it's inevitable. Do you understand the difference?
2. I never said people can't ask what they like. Just questioned if this was the best place for such a personal problem. However as you rightly say she can post what she likes so I assume I can also respond as I like within the rules?
Please try to reply to what I posted and not what you THINK I posted.
And BTW trust me, the day I get disappointed by a discussion on a forum will be the day I question my entire being. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
An incident doesn’t make it bullying, a comment on a thread doesn’t make it bullying - the word is over used and used incorrectly which I believe is part of the issue in dealing with it.
Bullying is targeted, prolonged, sustained, malicious. There isn’t anything people can tell me about bullying that I don’t already know. I had half a lifetime of it.
The level of violence being advocated here just exacerbates the problem. Maybe this is part of the reason we live in such a violent society?Yes, children should be taught to stand up for themselves but there are ways of doing it.
As for schools .. well they should have an anti-bullying policy, a behaviour policy and a safeguarding policy, as well as a complaints procedure. Use the tools to hand. Ofsted don’t give a flying fig about individual cases so you’re wasting your time there.
I’m not making a comment about individual cases here, I’m merely giving an opinion as a person that has been bullied, I have children and I did work in a school for a while.
If everyone went out and dealt with every issue that arises in schools in their own way, where would that leave us? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"1. I never said it was acceptable but it's inevitable. Do you understand the difference?
2. I never said people can't ask what they like. Just questioned if this was the best place for such a personal problem. However as you rightly say she can post what she likes so I assume I can also respond as I like within the rules?
Please try to reply to what I posted and not what you THINK I posted.
And BTW trust me, the day I get disappointed by a discussion on a forum will be the day I question my entire being."
1) YES
2) YES
I'm PRAYING you're NOT in the education system. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1. I never said it was acceptable but it's inevitable. Do you understand the difference?
2. I never said people can't ask what they like. Just questioned if this was the best place for such a personal problem. However as you rightly say she can post what she likes so I assume I can also respond as I like within the rules?
Please try to reply to what I posted and not what you THINK I posted.
And BTW trust me, the day I get disappointed by a discussion on a forum will be the day I question my entire being.
1) YES
2) YES
I'm PRAYING you're NOT in the education system."
Obviously not because the education system clearly only employs the cream of the crop as,is being shown by the quality of kids leaving school....
And I know this because I run several businesses and employ schooleaverasmfrom time to time and trust me, these kids are not being well educated, motivated or disciplined.
Though in fairness that's not all down to schooling |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My lad was getting bullied last year the schools answer was to let him out 5 minutes early to give him a head start home this year a lad started picking on him and he stuck up for himself but got punished for it ,got excluded for a day then wasn't allowed on a trip because of it I TD my ex if the school won't sort it I will I will track the little shots down and I'll pin their dads against a wall and tell them to sort it or o will show them some of my skills,I even got hold of one ladsstep mum and told her she had 3 choices,she sorted it ,I get police involved or 3 I will sort him and anyone with him,touch wood it's had the desired effect |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"1. I never said it was acceptable but it's inevitable. Do you understand the difference?
2. I never said people can't ask what they like. Just questioned if this was the best place for such a personal problem. However as you rightly say she can post what she likes so I assume I can also respond as I like within the rules?
Please try to reply to what I posted and not what you THINK I posted.
And BTW trust me, the day I get disappointed by a discussion on a forum will be the day I question my entire being.
1) YES
2) YES
I'm PRAYING you're NOT in the education system.
Obviously not because the education system clearly only employs the cream of the crop as,is being shown by the quality of kids leaving school....
And I know this because I run several businesses and employ schooleaverasmfrom time to time and trust me, these kids are not being well educated, motivated or disciplined.
Though in fairness that's not all down to schooling "
I won't ask why you would employ someone that doesn't sound a great choice to give a job too,but good for you for giving them a chance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
End of the day the system is failing because teachers can't administer punishment like when we were at School for fear of reprisal or losing their jobs hell they aren't allowed to raise their voices at a child in case they get told they're bullying said child ,just like I can't give your kid a slap for stepping out of line without fear of a visit from police or social services |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An incident doesn’t make it bullying, a comment on a thread doesn’t make it bullying - the word is over used and used incorrectly which I believe is part of the issue in dealing with it.
Bullying is targeted, prolonged, sustained, malicious. There isn’t anything people can tell me about bullying that I don’t already know. I had half a lifetime of it.
The level of violence being advocated here just exacerbates the problem. Maybe this is part of the reason we live in such a violent society?Yes, children should be taught to stand up for themselves but there are ways of doing it.
As for schools .. well they should have an anti-bullying policy, a behaviour policy and a safeguarding policy, as well as a complaints procedure. Use the tools to hand. Ofsted don’t give a flying fig about individual cases so you’re wasting your time there.
I’m not making a comment about individual cases here, I’m merely giving an opinion as a person that has been bullied, I have children and I did work in a school for a while.
If everyone went out and dealt with every issue that arises in schools in their own way, where would that leave us? "
^^^
This! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Schools in our experience are not good at dealing with bullying.
Ask for a copy of the school's bullying policy.
Approach the school's police liaison office and discuss the situation with him or her, if your child is physically bullied take them to your gp so it's documented and advise the school, the governors and liaison officer that you've done this."
This!!
If you resort to violence, you’ve already lost. Also, get numbers on your side. If they’re bullying your child there’s a fair chance they are bullying someone else’s child. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much."
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s awful, I have kids of similar age and I couldn’t imagine how you feel, I wouldn’t want to leave them alone, you could have a polite chat with the parents... if my kids were bullying other kids I would definitely want to know!
Can't be sweet with arsehole. Kids bully for a reason and it starts at home mostly...
Tried that sweet with both parents end result - I was assaulted "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
"
How does the second part of that contradict the first? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
"
I agree with this.I've been in the situation. But it's not my kids fault. That's y I went to parents and I didn't take a soft approach |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd suggest getting a meeting with the head, on Monday (demand! it's a matter of urgency due to the fact they are not safeguarding your child), explain you have tried being patient however your child is still a victim of bullying. Request a copy of their safeguarding policy, bullying policy and records of the incident reports (or whatever they are calling it). Then tell the head you're going to go to the school governors, Ofsted, the police (for the assault in particular) and the department for education because they are not keeping your child safe.
This may put the jeebies up them to actively protect your child, if not, those people listed will make sure they do. It's an absolutely awful situation you are in, I can't believe the school are trying to make you feel so powerless! Be assured though, you do have power by going through the right channels. Good luck and I hope you get the situation resolved soon!
Utterly agree!
If a Headteacher realises that he or she is facing the "Brown Stuff" coming down from 'higher up' they'll do something!
Anazing how some Head Teachers hide behind their rhetoric of "we have robust Anti Bullying measures" blah! Blah! Blah!
Well, if you did someone's child would not be bullied!
Threats to involve the local Media and name & shame the culprits works wonders! Plus, ensure to advise the Head that their name & their incompetence will also be passed onto the Media too!
Never fails!
Incredibly dangerous advice - most school have malicious action policies in place which the above action would completely fall in to, the repercussions of which would likely be entirely damaging to you, your child’s education and any credibility you may have had.
I would only advocate the above advice (and even then tentatively - if handled very carefully) when ALL over avenues have failed - particularly in that you have completely exhausted the schools complaints procedure - which unfortunately, following due process from first complaint, to escalation, to governors, to escalation to appeal, to LEA could take up to 4 - 6 months.
I would not allow my child to be bullied for that length of time."
And nor have I. I have been following the prescribed channels to try to sort it since last september. As you seem to have more answers than I perhaps you would enlighten me into your method for sorting it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
How does the second part of that contradict the first? "
What do you mean? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
How does the second part of that contradict the first?
What do you mean? "
Assume the reason the kid is a bully is that their parents beat them and they want to regain power. Why would that mean it's a bad idea to attack the kids parents? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
How does the second part of that contradict the first?
What do you mean?
Assume the reason the kid is a bully is that their parents beat them and they want to regain power. Why would that mean it's a bad idea to attack the kids parents? "
Because the parents will beat the kid up even worse than they already do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A lot of people seem to think attacking the kid's parents is a good idea. The kid may be bullying other kids because s/he is getting the shit kicked out of them at home. -A way to try and regain some kind of power in her/ his life.
How does the second part of that contradict the first?
What do you mean?
Assume the reason the kid is a bully is that their parents beat them and they want to regain power. Why would that mean it's a bad idea to attack the kids parents?
Because the parents will beat the kid up even worse than they already do."
Ah i see, yes that is a possibility |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason. "
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me. "
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me.
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence? "
You said "men will ultimately resort to violence to settle disputes". . That's an entirely different thing to saying that societies are organised on the basis of laws and have organised bodies of force. (comprising males and females) to enforce said laws. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me.
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence?
You said "men will ultimately resort to violence to settle disputes". . That's an entirely different thing to saying that societies are organised on the basis of laws and have organised bodies of force. (comprising males and females) to enforce said laws. "
You make a distinction without a difference. Violence is the ultimate answer for society and men as individuals. Pretending we can live without violence is the biggest lie lefties indulge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting "
What happened today? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me.
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence?
You said "men will ultimately resort to violence to settle disputes". . That's an entirely different thing to saying that societies are organised on the basis of laws and have organised bodies of force. (comprising males and females) to enforce said laws.
You make a distinction without a difference. Violence is the ultimate answer for society and men as individuals. Pretending we can live without violence is the biggest lie lefties indulge."
Two statements
"most people of both sexes, believe that, where vital societal interests are involved it is permissible to employ the use of tightly regulated and organised bodies of force to ensure recaltriants don't prejudice said interests"
"ultimately men will always resort to violence to settle disputes"
If you think those two statements are identical, I really can't help you any further. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What about the long term.impact on a childs mental health from being bullied? Or encouraged to be violent? Diffrent personality traits repsond diffrently. If someone is if a gentle nauture it will cause just as much damage to "make them fight back"
No wonder so many young people end up in mental health services.
And yes 2 of my kids were bullied. 1 had her wrist broken by her bully in school under supervison of the school. It was the last thing that bully did to her as charges were pressed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What about the long term.impact on a childs mental health from being bullied? Or encouraged to be violent? Diffrent personality traits repsond diffrently. If someone is if a gentle nauture it will cause just as much damage to "make them fight back"
No wonder so many young people end up in mental health services.
And yes 2 of my kids were bullied. 1 had her wrist broken by her bully in school under supervison of the school. It was the last thing that bully did to her as charges were pressed. "
What happened after charges were pressed out of interest? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What about the long term.impact on a childs mental health from being bullied? Or encouraged to be violent? Diffrent personality traits repsond diffrently. If someone is if a gentle nauture it will cause just as much damage to "make them fight back"
No wonder so many young people end up in mental health services.
And yes 2 of my kids were bullied. 1 had her wrist broken by her bully in school under supervison of the school. It was the last thing that bully did to her as charges were pressed.
What happened after charges were pressed out of interest? "
Bully changed schools ended up in a school for kids with behaviurale issues (so couldbt be managed in a standard school) and the school paid a little more attention to bullying complaints. He probly went on to terrorise more kids to be honest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What about the long term.impact on a childs mental health from being bullied? Or encouraged to be violent? Diffrent personality traits repsond diffrently. If someone is if a gentle nauture it will cause just as much damage to "make them fight back"
No wonder so many young people end up in mental health services.
And yes 2 of my kids were bullied. 1 had her wrist broken by her bully in school under supervison of the school. It was the last thing that bully did to her as charges were pressed.
What happened after charges were pressed out of interest?
Bully changed schools ended up in a school for kids with behaviurale issues (so couldbt be managed in a standard school) and the school paid a little more attention to bullying complaints. He probly went on to terrorise more kids to be honest. "
Probably the best outcome. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me.
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence? "
As it happens I'm in the latter of those groups but violence is still a last resort, one would hope diplomacy works before people have to start dying but the threat still needs to be there as a deterrent. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Kids are awful, whilst I wasn't on the receiving end of the worst bullying at secondary school I still had my share of it, and when I was little I got mercilessly picked on for having big ears which I'm sure was part of why I had anxiety problems that ran on into my 20's. I was a soft kid and quite sensitive, whereas now if someone tried to bully me (beyond banter, I'm fine with being mercilessly ripped in a friendly way) I'd likely knock them out. I wish I hadn't been scared of the people I was at school, none of them have amounted to much.
Ultimately, men will always resort to violence to settle disputes. That's our nature. However, for women it isn't and they won't. There is no natural culmination of female bullying, frankly it's far worse than male bullying for that reason.
Sorry, I know that's the gospel according to Peterson, but it's utter bollocks. I'm 51 and have never resorted to violence to settle a dispute and there are plenty like me.
The implied threat is always there. It's not just peterson, our entire society is organised on this principle. What exactly are the police and army, if not groups with the authority for sanctioned violence?
As it happens I'm in the latter of those groups but violence is still a last resort, one would hope diplomacy works before people have to start dying but the threat still needs to be there as a deterrent. "
Exactly. I wasn't implying it should be the first option, it's the "natural culmination" (i.e. last resort). I'm glad that was obvious to everyone other than KLP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting
What happened today? "
Dropped her off as normal - but was escorted on and off the premises by the deputy head. When I commented to the effect are you my personal escort then he denied it - couldn't deny it when I said I didn't come down in the last shower.
Head wants a meeting with me, when I told reception the time for that was now past she got shitty and demanded to know what right I had to escalate things.
Last night my daughter got up at just gone 11 in bits. She had been had again yesterday - told the dinner supervisor who - surprise surprise didn't see anything.
AND the lollipop lady was instructed that she was unavailable for comment to the police. Except she's said that she will give a statement |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting
What happened today?
Dropped her off as normal - but was escorted on and off the premises by the deputy head. When I commented to the effect are you my personal escort then he denied it - couldn't deny it when I said I didn't come down in the last shower.
Head wants a meeting with me, when I told reception the time for that was now past she got shitty and demanded to know what right I had to escalate things.
Last night my daughter got up at just gone 11 in bits. She had been had again yesterday - told the dinner supervisor who - surprise surprise didn't see anything.
AND the lollipop lady was instructed that she was unavailable for comment to the police. Except she's said that she will give a statement "
Nows the time to reassure your daughter and to make sure you don't discuss all this in front of her, it will add to her stress. As far as possible she needs to be shielded from the mechanics of your dealings with the school. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting
What happened today?
Dropped her off as normal - but was escorted on and off the premises by the deputy head. When I commented to the effect are you my personal escort then he denied it - couldn't deny it when I said I didn't come down in the last shower.
Head wants a meeting with me, when I told reception the time for that was now past she got shitty and demanded to know what right I had to escalate things.
Last night my daughter got up at just gone 11 in bits. She had been had again yesterday - told the dinner supervisor who - surprise surprise didn't see anything.
AND the lollipop lady was instructed that she was unavailable for comment to the police. Except she's said that she will give a statement "
I'm sorry you and you're poor daughter are having to go through this.
It's stuff like this that I'm dreading as my daughter gets older. Definitely going to have to get her into a martial arts class of some sort.
You're handling it well, I hope things improve soon for you both. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I requested all the information suggested (thank you to all the teachers/former teachers/other parents who have offered advice
Their log of incidents is hugely hugely different to mine, they have 3 incidents total (2 of which were last week). They do not even mention an incident where my child was smacked on the back of her head - which her class teacher told me about!
This is going to get exceptionally ugly... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My kid has been bullied all year (she's 5)
I've played the game and done as school have decreed in order to remedy same
This is not working
I have approached both mothers individually - this has not worked and has got me "done" as it's "not my place" (to approach parents of said little shit).
I was told today if I approach either woman ON school property then I will be sanctioned and fined
I approached them off school premises and was assaulted
I particularly feel for the little shit who has to live in a violent atmosphere and hear the things coming out of her mother's mouth.
Monday will be interesting
What happened today?
Dropped her off as normal - but was escorted on and off the premises by the deputy head. When I commented to the effect are you my personal escort then he denied it - couldn't deny it when I said I didn't come down in the last shower.
Head wants a meeting with me, when I told reception the time for that was now past she got shitty and demanded to know what right I had to escalate things.
Last night my daughter got up at just gone 11 in bits. She had been had again yesterday - told the dinner supervisor who - surprise surprise didn't see anything.
AND the lollipop lady was instructed that she was unavailable for comment to the police. Except she's said that she will give a statement "
Are they also escorting the woman who assaulted you? Hope you get it sorted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
My suggestion is to put all that's happening in a complaint email to the school mentioning safeguarding etc , any meeting you have with the school record and send them minutes of the meeting. The only time schools unfortunately seem to deal with these problems is when they are logged in this way they have to log complaints! Verbal discussions can be wiped clean.
(I don't believe in violence however I have told a child being bullied to hit the bully back hard, as hard as they can with all their might aim for the goolies and nose make them cry, the amazing thing was seeing the frustration and shoulders just drop away. I then advised the school that I had done this, it seemed to help in this case) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a survivor of bullying for a majority of my lifetime, I feel that is is important to not only have a support system to help victims recover from the events that could have long-lasting consequences, but also pardon the victim him/herself that if s/he were to snap and beat the living hell out of the predator(s) within reasoning, in spite the measures taken.
In the end, anybody who bully’s their target(s) to make themselves feel better are no different to a pedophile who’d exploit a child for their sick pleasure. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I was in high school I developed epilepsy and got the nick name freak. Never told my parents, because I didn’t want to bother them with it. It ended where some of the bullies on my very last day of school intended to beat me up after school. When I was 18, developed cancer, but my experiences of my being being bullied enabled me to handle the illness better. Now years later I have a zero tolerance to bullies. I no longer have epilepsy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I was in high school I developed epilepsy and got the nick name freak. Never told my parents, because I didn’t want to bother them with it. It ended where some of the bullies on my very last day of school intended to beat me up after school. When I was 18, developed cancer, but my experiences of my being being bullied enabled me to handle the illness better. Now years later I have a zero tolerance to bullies. I no longer have epilepsy."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
