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How best to put this... um... er...
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I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a conversation with a lady at work that for some reason or another ended up in mentioning blue waffle... so she ended up googling. Extreme sexual education |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Watching The Full Monty with my daughter just yesterday - there's a scene where The Horse (Paul Barber) is in a phone box holding a penis pump while calling the mail order company to complain that it hadn't worked - within seconds I'm asked "What's that Dad?" and had to explain to much hilarity and ewwwing!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember being about 12 and the paper boy was called David Goss, we used to call him Gosser the Tosser. No idea why but that’s kids mentality. My parents caught me and sat me down and asked if I knew what I was saying. They then proceeded to explain the meaning of ‘tossing’ ha. I have liberal parents but it was funny to hear. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Oh and years ago my Mum was flicking through one of those Innovations catalogues that used to come with the Sunday papers when she comes across a "massager" and wonders out loud how effective it would be - cue me and my brother nearly in tears on the floor!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I explain EVERYTHING to be 15 year old sister lol.
When I was little we had a dog called Dylan. We were out for a walk (I must have been seven or eight) and I shouted ‘come on dildo!’
My mum and dad couldn’t stop laughing.  |
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Remind me what year sex was invented again ?
Then remind me the age at when people go deaf, stop talking to others and stop reading the net etc......
Then i'll understand the ignorance of youth.
Just a load of felching dirty vidalias. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?"
did your mum like your explanation? |
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My son’s friends (close family friends) asked me what “cum” meant. I explained and then texted their parents to let them know what they’d asked and what I’d answered.
About a year later they said to me, in front of their parents, “remember when you were telling us about cum?” completely neglecting to mention that it wasn’t me that raised the topic! |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Not sexual but was reading a story to my class of 4/5year olds and in the story Granny was exhausted after working in the garden, "Who can tell me what exhausted means?" I asked... Up goes a sea of hands and I pick one little boy who is sitting nicely... "It means when ya bloody knackered Miss"
"Yes, that's right, it's when you are really tired!!" I had to compose myself and stop myself laughing. |
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When my son was with a previous girlfriend she had an 8 year old son. He went to the toilet and came back asking what the vibrating things where in the machines and could he have one. I took enormous pleasure in sitting back watching my son try to explain. I said to him its payback time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection. "
I swear my mum and dad know a far lot more than I do, but then again I don’t know much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, on a hen night a while ago I made a joke about tea bagging, then had to explain to the mother of the bride exactly what it was. "
My grandson told me what teabagging was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I swear my mum and dad know a far lot more than I do, but then again I don’t know much! "
I remember being very young and finding a pair of crotchless knickers and wearing them on my head. I’m pretty sure my parents are nailing it in the bedroom department!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection. "
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes. "
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were! "
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things. "
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things. "
That’s the attitude that I’d like to instill in my children too |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Oh and years ago my Mum was flicking through one of those Innovations catalogues that used to come with the Sunday papers when she comes across a "massager" and wonders out loud how effective it would be - cue me and my brother nearly in tears on the floor!!"
My mother bought me one as a birthday present for my persistent neck pain. I didn't know where to look.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with the kids, we discovered they know what bukkake is and they were surprised we knew anything.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew "
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh and years ago my Mum was flicking through one of those Innovations catalogues that used to come with the Sunday papers when she comes across a "massager" and wonders out loud how effective it would be - cue me and my brother nearly in tears on the floor!!
My mother bought me one as a birthday present for my persistent neck pain. I didn't know where to look.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with the kids, we discovered they know what bukkake is and they were surprised we knew anything.
"
Oooooh I play that with my mum and dad! They know me and my husband lost our virginities to each other, and because we know ‘so much’ they assume we’re both super kinky |
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"Sooooo
You still live with your parents!
"
I visit them every Sunday evening.
.
"did your mum like your explanation?"
My explanation, yes. What I was explaining, not so much.
.
"I can't believe you told her  "
Why wouldn’t I tell her? It’s not nice when you don’t understand a joke, and you can tell by the laughter that other people do.
.
"Son aged 11 after having the videos at school needed some additional information
‘Dad do gay men have sex?’
‘Yes, now hurry up or you’ll be late for school’
It was never mentioned again "
When my brother was younger, he was reading the paper, and asked my dad what ‘gay’ meant. So, my dad entered a lengthy explanation about how some men love each other, not in the way we love our relatives, but more like the way he loved our mum.
“Oh,” said my brother... “You mean like homosexuals.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different. "
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trying to explain to my daughter this retort from Rachel to Ross in Friends:
"It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal."......
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Iv always been open and honest with my kids. When my son was 18 he foned me at work one night and told me the condom had split. Sd his gf mum wd kill her if she knew they were having sex so i took her for 3the morning after pill.
10 uears on I'm a taxi driver and picked her up with her friends a few weeks ago. She d*unkenly announced "i luv this driver, if it wasnt for her i might have a 10 year old kid i didnt want".
Her friends didn't know whether to laff or not x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!"
Your mum sounds hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!
Your mum sounds hilarious. "
Mums are the best! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fred told our teenage son a joke, something about James bond, viagra and roger moore, as he didn't get it, it turned into a conversation about erectile dysfunction.
Same son at primary school, had the phase where the word gay came up often, in a derogatory manner, we explained it wasn't nice and that two men can have meaningful relationships in the same way as a man and woman, ended with us going so far as explaining anal sex.
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!"
Brilliant |
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When my son was about 14 he said to me id love a lesbian girlfriend. When i pointed out to him if she was a lesbian she wouldnt be interested he let out a big sigh and said oh well i suppose bi will do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!
Brilliant "
I now remove all Fab-related pictures as soon as possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!"
When I was 17 my memory card fell out of my phone once and my Grandad put it into his phone to see whose it was. Had a lot of porn on there. I went bright red when I realised it was mine, but luckily it was dark so no one could see my face. Worst part was it was at a family gathering too. He deleted everything off it. I think he knew it was mine, but played it off saying it probably belonged to his friend from work who came to visit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!
Brilliant
I now remove all Fab-related pictures as soon as possible "
Me too! I have an app.
I hate it when people start scrolling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!
Brilliant
I now remove all Fab-related pictures as soon as possible
Me too! I have an app.
I hate it when people start scrolling. "
Don’t you hate it when you show a friend or a colleague a pic on your phone and they try to swipe “ it’s like no just look at the picture “ am I the only one who watches over as you know they are always going to swipe, and your unsure what’s on there |
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?"
I paired my phone with my tv. A pic on my Mrs holding her pussy open pissing came on the tv, big bright and bold. This was all in front of my mum and dad. Sister and brother in law.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!
Brilliant
I now remove all Fab-related pictures as soon as possible
Me too! I have an app.
I hate it when people start scrolling. "
I need that app. I nearly showed a passenger at work the wrong picture. That would have been embarrassing. Mine are all mixed in with sightseeing pics and food porn! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?
I paired my phone with my tv. A pic on my Mrs holding her pussy open pissing came on the tv, big bright and bold. This was all in front of my mum and dad. Sister and brother in law. "
I would have died. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?"
your mum told you a joke about oral sex at 12 |
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We were playing Trivial Pursuit after a family meal. I asked my sister if she wanted an easy pink or a tricky brown. My mum couldn't understand what we were giggling about. Told her in the end and she just tutted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup playing cards against humanity with a group of friends and my son . Had to explain a few of the cards. Bukake was one of them. The next time it was played he was explaining to his cousin
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Running a pub I hear quite a lot of conversations,not exactly the same thing but, the other week two guys were talking about a neighbour of there's, and how there are different cars there every day and how many different blokes they have seen coming in and out, the thoughts were she was either a swinger of an escort
I know the woman concerned, very attractive, and yes fit as fuck, she happens to be a sports physio therapist and works from home.
All I said to them was oh I know her, and she's no escort |
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"Did you say ejaculate over or spunk over though?
Splaff.
lol My mum wouldn't have a clue what that meant. Were there gesticulations too?"
I just showed her some videos on Red Tube.
.
"your mum told you a joke about oral sex at 12 "
I’m guessing you haven’t seen many 12A films. At least my mum’s joke was funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you say ejaculate over or spunk over though?
Splaff.
lol My mum wouldn't have a clue what that meant. Were there gesticulations too?
I just showed her some videos on Red Tube.
.
your mum told you a joke about oral sex at 12
I’m guessing you haven’t seen many 12A films. At least my mum’s joke was funny."
I thought all mums were sweet and innocent like mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Running a pub I hear quite a lot of conversations,not exactly the same thing but, the other week two guys were talking about a neighbour of there's, and how there are different cars there every day and how many different blokes they have seen coming in and out, the thoughts were she was either a swinger of an escort
I know the woman concerned, very attractive, and yes fit as fuck, she happens to be a sports physio therapist and works from home.
All I said to them was oh I know her, and she's no escort"
So you inferred she's a swinger? Why didn't you tell them she's a physio? |
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?your mum told you a joke about oral sex at 12 "
Well yes, I mean it’s midnight! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was in my teens, my little sister who would have under ten at the time, came in and asked what's oral sex?
I watched my parents turn a funny colour before volunteering "talking about it" |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?"
So wots bukkake and pearl necklace. As i don't no wot thay stand for eather
bukkake I've never even hard if and don't even no how to say it even.
And the only pearl necklace i no of is a pearl necklace that people wear round thar neck |
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Do you remember the Comedy Awards from years ago when Julian Clary said he'd been "out the back fisting Norman Lamont" my mom couldn't understand why everyone thought it was so hilarious that Julian had been "punching Norman" cue nervous explanation from myself |
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?
So wots bukkake and pearl necklace. As i don't no wot thay stand for eather
bukkake I've never even hard if and don't even no how to say it even.
And the only pearl necklace i no of is a pearl necklace that people wear round thar neck "
Urban dictionary will tell you both and how to pronounce it. |
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A little rhyme was going around school and I recited it to my mother across the dinner table.
"In days of old when men were bold and women weren't invented.
Men drilled holes in telegraph poles to keep themselves contented"
Aged 7 or so I just thought it amusing
Mum was not amused.
|
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"So wots bukkake and pearl necklace."
Bukkake is when a group of men stand around one person and all ejaculate on the person in the middle.
A pearl necklace is when a man ejaculates on a woman’s chest. |
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Despite the fact my mum worked in a secondary school for 30 years, predominantly with 4-6th year kids, she was so naive.
One of her colleagues was a bit of a dickhead, and after he had had a bit of a to-do with my mum, she proclaimed to the staff room that Xxx was a bit of a wanker wasn’t he? and couldnt really understand why she was met with silence and some amused faces.
She was fairly mortified when she realised what she had said! |
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"Worryingly, I think my Mum would know what Bukkake is thanks to my Dad’s extensive porn collection.
I remember finding rolled up porn mags in a hole in a cupboard under the sink in the bathroom as a child. I used to tell my siblings and laugh about it. I knew when my parents friends came around and the men went up to the bedroom what they would be looking at. It’s funny that you can be an innocent child but be savvy to what’s going on sometimes.
They also thought their hiding places were good. They had no idea how stealthy we were!
I know. It’s so funny. It’s probably why I’m so liberal minded to sex, I didn’t bat an eyelid. Just took it as normal and carried on with things.
Me too! Me and my Dad had a conversation about swinging recently. He was like “you just never know who’s got these thrilling sexual lifestyles”. Oh if only they knew
I tell my my mum. I sat with her the other day and told her I was meeting a new guy for a date. He had sent me a message and asked what I was laughing about. I told he we were talking about strap ons. She didn’t say a word. She just laughed and that was that. She knows I like things a bit different.
Haha. My Mum saw a picture of my vagina once on my phone. She said “I hope you’ve not got that as your dating profile picture”!"
Haha  that is funny  |
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"Despite the fact my mum worked in a secondary school for 30 years, predominantly with 4-6th year kids, she was so naive.
https://youtu.be/GUIBWWDg9k4"
Other than the accent - which needs to be more Aberdonian, that’s pretty much spot on. The hair, specs and lab coat were the same!
When I worked for NHS Public Health and did sexual health work with young people, I took great delight in telling her some of the stuff we talked about. My poor wee mum  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Watching The Full Monty with my daughter just yesterday - there's a scene where The Horse (Paul Barber) is in a phone box holding a penis pump while calling the mail order company to complain that it hadn't worked - within seconds I'm asked "What's that Dad?" and had to explain to much hilarity and ewwwing!!"
I can't believe it. You had to explain to your daughter what a phone box is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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L may have been single handedly responsible for her younger brother. Her mother told her her diaphragm was a finger bandage, suffice to say much poking later it finally went on her finger! Good conversation starter for the next family BBQ! |
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"I’m watching an old Mock the Week with my folks. One of the panel just made a joke about bukkake.
“What’s bukkake?” enquires my mother.
“Oh goody,” I think, and then bit the bullet and told her.
It reminded me of the time, over Christmas dinner, that my uncle made a joke about a pearl necklace. Everyone laughed, until my granny asked what a pearl necklace is, and everyone went quiet. I stepped up to the plate, and told her.
Now that I’m writing this, I’m also reminded of the time when I was about 12 that my mum told me a joke about oral sex, then had to explain what oral sex was. (Turned out I knew what it was, just not the name for it.)
Have any of you found yourself explaining the meaning of sexual things in awkward circumstances? Or, those of you who are parents, have you found yourself explaining things you didn’t ever think you’d have to?"
Yeah , we had to explain to our eleven year old that we were having sex when he heard the groans from our bedroom the other day .
On the plus side , neither of us made any jokes about oral sex , so it could have been worse |
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