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Gf lost sex drive after baby
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
You need patience x |
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"So sorry to hear that. She didn't lose baby, she was born and healthy thank god, but still has lost her mojo x"
You're going to need reply in forum +quote for this thread. It's at the bottom of each post. It'll help us know who you're replying to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So sorry to hear that. She didn't lose baby, she was born and healthy thank god, but still has lost her mojo x
You're going to need reply in forum +quote for this thread. It's at the bottom of each post. It'll help us know who you're replying to."
Ok thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help "
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Give the poor girl a chance,she could well be tired out from caring for baby home and you
 "
She is hence i sorted a break for her. She says wants to and we trying together. Im the man so i feel i should be able to fix all her problems so she is happy and not down about things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help "
16 weeks OP! She's feeling knackered and anxious on how she's doing and just needs support on day to day life. The drive will probably return, but if you're like a rutting stag she will only feel like you're telling her she's inadequate.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know"
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant |
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Two babies on and it’s still hard for me personally, and that’s years on not weeks. Not a lot you can do other then what you’re already doing, patience and compliments. Her bodies been through a lot and still continues to do so plus the exhaustion! Even when you get on top of that, I get Mother’s guilt. |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help "
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant"
Why can't she? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you"
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is the norm after marriage too haha
Is it?
I'll beg to differ there."
Only to those who forget life is too harsh and you cant have good things without working hard and earning those blessings. Nothing good in life is free |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love..... "
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Why can't she?"
I worry if she says wants too but cant, if want try before knowing cant. Does this make me selfish? I dont know.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?"
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?"
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care** |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**"
You're having sex every day? |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**"
So are you having sex or not. You're starting to confuse me now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day."
Jeez |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a mum, but I can imagine that all sorts of things might be going on in your partner's head right now - not only will she probably feeling tired, busy and maybe anxious about the baby, but giving birth changes a woman's body too, stuff like stretch marks, excess skin and holding onto baby weight. She might be self conscious about that, sex might feel uncomfortable, and she may feel like she's trying to rush back into sex for you.
If I felt all that, I would want to be listened to, cuddled and helped as much as possible. Start with some good quality time together, maybe a few kisses, but don't rush it.
Or give her the time and opportunity to open up to you about it, as no one else can tell you how she's feeling... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**
So are you having sex or not. You're starting to confuse me now."
Yes fucking but not sensual and loving just seems as prerequisite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So what I'm gleaning from it now is that you are having sex?
How is that a lost sex drive?"
Its fucking i feel for my benefit. Not as it should be and a sensual thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what I'm gleaning from it now is that you are having sex?
How is that a lost sex drive?
Its fucking i feel for my benefit. Not as it should be and a sensual thing"
If you feel it’s for your benefit then why are you doing it?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would imagine she is hyper alert to the sound of the baby, so it's hard to relax, even harder to get intimate when she "may" be having body confidence issues!
Maybe take full sex off the table and start with a bit of practical help around the home.
Then maybe the romantic in the form of setting aside a night for date night?
Work up to it, sensual massages, cuddles, let it happen slowly and naturally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**
You're having sex every day? "
Yes but only quick fuck not being sexual and into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**
So are you having sex or not. You're starting to confuse me now.
Yes fucking but not sensual and loving just seems as prerequisite"
Of course it'll be quick! She has a baby to take care of, who'll currently be her top priority. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!"
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing "
Stop it then. I ONCE had sex for my husband’s satisfaction and he felt absolutely awful about it for months and months. |
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"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
my ex wife lost all her sex drive still not got it back 8 years on
|
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I'm totally confused 
You say your partner has lost her sex drive yet are having quickies once it twice s day!
That isn't lost sex drive...that's squeezing sex in around a baby. It's also a Hell of a lot more than most new parents manage...
Nita |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Have you ever passed a tennis ball through your Japs eye?
She pushed a baby out of herself just 4 months ago.
It can take weeks for things to go back to normal down there.
And that's without the shock of being wholely responsible for a tiny person, hormones running wild and complete exhaustion.
Give the woman a break. Enjoy your time baby free by dating again. Forget sex, just learn to love each other all over again, you are not just a man and woman anymore, you are a mother and father.
Buying sexy undies will just put a load of extra pressure on her when she may be already feeling like she's failing because she's not jumped back into the saddle.
Be kind to each other.
Oh, and get off here.... It's all just extra pressure she doesn't need. |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
Sixteen weeks is nothing in terms of physical and mental recovery.
. You say you're not pressuring her but a set of sexy underwear is pressure.
It's tough on New parents. The mother is exhausted and trying to care for her baby,the father is trying to be supportive but he needs attention too. You are probably going to have to accept that you need to take a back seat for a couple of months.
My suggestion is that you take sex off ten menu completely. Tell her you just want cuddles and closeness for now.
Good luck to the pair of you
Good point. I was worried it migjt bit trying to make her feel sexy again. I love this girl to peices and always seem to try too hard as clueless because im only used to loveless relationships and no experience after 34 yrs on how it works when we both in love.....
When the baby's asleep tell her you love her, give her a cup of tea and ask her if sex hurts. Did she have stitches?
I doubt on her and no stiches. 2 weeks after she told me happy as horny again. Since only quickies and not when have time to enjoy and make love as i want too, fucking is once/twice a day.
Dote* as in worship and care**
So are you having sex or not. You're starting to confuse me now.
Yes fucking but not sensual and loving just seems as prerequisite"
Righto. You need to talk to her, not us. You're doubting her motives, you're saying you don't want to pressure her but you want sensual and loving sex from a 16 weeks post natal woman who is fucking you twice a day.
Step back. Concentrate on your new family and dial your expectations back a bit. You will get your sensual wife back but you need to give her a chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what I'm gleaning from it now is that you are having sex?
How is that a lost sex drive?
Its fucking i feel for my benefit. Not as it should be and a sensual thing"
Good lord no wonder shes lost the will. She's obviously just doing it because she thinks you want it. A hug and saying I love you will be more beneficial to both of you rather than fucking for the sake of it. |
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"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing
Stop it then. I ONCE had sex for my husband’s satisfaction and he felt absolutely awful about it for months and months. "
This...
I just read your post. It sounds like she doesn't want sex but is letting you twice a day any way... and you are taking advantage
That sounds to me like you are being incredibly selfish... and bordering on abuse... sorry but that's my take on it.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you ever passed a tennis ball through your Japs eye?
She pushed a baby out of herself just 4 months ago.
It can take weeks for things to go back to normal down there.
And that's without the shock of being wholely responsible for a tiny person, hormones running wild and complete exhaustion.
Give the woman a break. Enjoy your time baby free by dating again. Forget sex, just learn to love each other all over again, you are not just a man and woman anymore, you are a mother and father.
Buying sexy undies will just put a load of extra pressure on her when she may be already feeling like she's failing because she's not jumped back into the saddle.
Be kind to each other.
Oh, and get off here.... It's all just extra pressure she doesn't need."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It can take the hugest amount of time. Over 2 years for me... and actually only just beginning to feel good about my body 15 years on and eventually lost all the excess weight I put on with my first. Nothing much anyone else can do except be supportive and understanding and don't force anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing
Stop it then. I ONCE had sex for my husband’s satisfaction and he felt absolutely awful about it for months and months.
This...
I just read your post. It sounds like she doesn't want sex but is letting you twice a day any way... and you are taking advantage
That sounds to me like you are being incredibly selfish... and bordering on abuse... sorry but that's my take on it.
Nita "
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I fail to see how going to Spearmint Rhino tonight is going to help matters. If she is fucking twice a day for your benefit and you are not happy with that why would you want her to go to a Gentleman's club on your behalf too
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing
Stop it then. I ONCE had sex for my husband’s satisfaction and he felt absolutely awful about it for months and months.
This...
I just read your post. It sounds like she doesn't want sex but is letting you twice a day any way... and you are taking advantage
That sounds to me like you are being incredibly selfish... and bordering on abuse... sorry but that's my take on it.
Nita "
She obviously feels she cant say no. Who has sex twice a day after just 16 wks post birth. And what man would even try.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we all thought there was none. You're having more than most people I know who didn't have a baby 16 weeks ago!
I know but want to make love and uer enjoy not just fuck because she only doing for me. It should be abkut us both at least. I wouls prefer it was about her more as i enjoy when im pleasing
Stop it then. I ONCE had sex for my husband’s satisfaction and he felt absolutely awful about it for months and months.
This...
I just read your post. It sounds like she doesn't want sex but is letting you twice a day any way... and you are taking advantage
That sounds to me like you are being incredibly selfish... and bordering on abuse... sorry but that's my take on it.
Nita
She obviously feels she cant say no. Who has sex twice a day after just 16 wks post birth. And what man would even try. "
This. OP, you're making me cross. |
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"I fail to see how going to Spearmint Rhino tonight is going to help matters. If she is fucking twice a day for your benefit and you are not happy with that why would you want her to go to a Gentleman's club on your behalf too
"
Quite... 
It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship.
If you don't start respecting her soon and thinking about what she wants and needs it could either... become an abusive relationship or she will leave / kick you out.
Everything you are posting just implies that sex is the be all and end all in the relationship. Her and the baby should be your priority now... it clearly isn't.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
When it comes to having a baby. Our bodies go through the mill, make sure your helping round the house so she has plenty of sleep to recover. Also it could be a bit of postnatal depression a good multi vitamin an time for herself. There isn’t an easy answer to this. She has to get used to her new body again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant"
Try zinc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc "
Read the rest before you offer him too much help or sympathy.  |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc "
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the rest before you offer him too much help or sympathy. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants."
Sex i want? Am i wrong for not wanting my partner to fuck me if she doing it for 2rong reasons and not for herself? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?
When it comes to having a baby. Our bodies go through the mill, make sure your helping round the house so she has plenty of sleep to recover. Also it could be a bit of postnatal depression a good multi vitamin an time for herself. There isn’t an easy answer to this. She has to get used to her new body again "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants.
Sex i want? Am i wrong for not wanting my partner to fuck me if she doing it for 2rong reasons and not for herself?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants."
Oh I see |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants.
Sex i want? Am i wrong for not wanting my partner to fuck me if she doing it for 2rong reasons and not for herself?"
Yes, in some ways you are wrong. You began by saying she lost her sex drive. You then said you dote on her and don't want pressure her. You then follow that up by saying you are in fact having sex,twice a day but you want more than sex you want sensual, loving sex. Your partner gave birth 16 weeks ago, she's trying to keep you sexually fulfilled and look after a baby but you want more.
Cut yourself and her a break, concentrate on establishing your new routine as parents. Your life will not be the same but with work, patience and understanding it can be better. |
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"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant"
She may be saying that because she thinks that's what you want to hear and she's worried that you will go elsewhere or lose you patience.
Look her straight in the eye, tell her how much you love her and the baby you made together and how proud you are of her, tell her that you don't expect ANY physical contact that could lead to sex until she is ready. Many women know that an innocent hug or touch is sometimes seen as a precurser to sex when all they want is just a hug or touch.
Understand that even when she's asleep, or sitting with a coffee, her brain is on overtime, constantly thinking ahead, planning and working out how to be a mum.
Don't ask if you can help with anything or if there's anything you can do because it's not helping her, you are not her employee, you are part of your whole family and household. Just get the hoover out, wash up, wipe down the kitchen surfaces, fold the laundry, take it upstairs, put it away, pick stuff up off the floor and when she asks what you'd like for your tea (if she's the one that does the cooking) tell her. Quite often, the cook in the house doesn't mind the cooking, what they hate is trying to decide what to cook.
Entertain and be with your baby, it's incredibly good for your child to be held, rocked and chatted to, it makes them secure and confident and one day, they will be asking you for the car keys and 50 quid and you'll forget what they smelled like when you had that first cuddle in the morning.
Just invest in being a family and the rest will come. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
Try zinc
Read the whole thread. He's geting sex twice a day, just not the kind of sex he wants.
Sex i want? Am i wrong for not wanting my partner to fuck me if she doing it for 2rong reasons and not for herself?"
You are right for wanting your gf to desire you enough to want to fuck you, but it has to be as and when she is ready.
She's hardly ever likely to get to that stage whilst having the obligatory twice a day sex . If you dont want that sort of sex then stop. Wait for her to feel sexy again off her own bat and come to you. We are not robots, give her time to be a mum. |
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Our Little'uns are 3 and 2.
The idea of "sexy undies" still makes me feel sick...
Bradley could compliment me all the time, but it all comes down to YOU feeling comfortable in YOUR own new body. And I honestly think that, personally, such a gift would make me feel pressured.
Having a baby causes all Hell of physical, emotional and hormonal changes. 16 weeks is nothing and right now, she is probably fucking exhausted.
She probably CAN'T relax to enjoy sex because her brain is on high-alert, listening out for her Baby.
And long drawn-out sensual sex conflicts with having children because you never know when they're going to wake up!
It sounds like she is feeling pressured to have sex with you - if you care about her, then STOP having sex and TALK!
Find out if she is doing it just for your benefit, if so, why? (i.e: does she think she'll lose you if you're not getting any from her?).
Reassure her, love her, give her a simple cuddle without trying to grope her/lead it towards sex, help out as much as you can with Baby, but also understand that getting your dick wet probably needs to take a back seat for now.
- Amy. x |
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"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
Do the night feeds.
Change the nappies.
Be a 24/7 dad.
Cuddle her.
Talk to her.
Make her feel like more than a feeding mac_ine.
Exercise some patience.
Put your child before your cock.
Wank into a tissue.
mmmmmmmmm force a melon out of your cock and see how long it takes for you to fancy sex again ...... ( helps with empathy ) 
Just take it at her pace xx |
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"Our Little'uns are 3 and 2.
The idea of "sexy undies" still makes me feel sick...
Bradley could compliment me all the time, but it all comes down to YOU feeling comfortable in YOUR own new body. And I honestly think that, personally, such a gift would make me feel pressured.
Having a baby causes all Hell of physical, emotional and hormonal changes. 16 weeks is nothing and right now, she is probably fucking exhausted.
She probably CAN'T relax to enjoy sex because her brain is on high-alert, listening out for her Baby.
And long drawn-out sensual sex conflicts with having children because you never know when they're going to wake up!
It sounds like she is feeling pressured to have sex with you - if you care about her, then STOP having sex and TALK!
Find out if she is doing it just for your benefit, if so, why? (i.e: does she think she'll lose you if you're not getting any from her?).
Reassure her, love her, give her a simple cuddle without trying to grope her/lead it towards sex, help out as much as you can with Baby, but also understand that getting your dick wet probably needs to take a back seat for now.
- Amy. x"
Amy xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
Some women have an unconscious fear that having sex after birth will be different or hurt. Take your time with her. Try foreplay and don't push for penetrative sex. Let it happen slowly. Plenty of kisses and cuddles without any pressure and hopefully she'll find her mojo again. |
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"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?
Some women have an unconscious fear that having sex after birth will be different or hurt. Take your time with her. Try foreplay and don't push for penetrative sex. Let it happen slowly. Plenty of kisses and cuddles without any pressure and hopefully she'll find her mojo again. "
They're having sex 1-2 times a day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
I was breastfeeding for 21 months and had no intetest in sex whatsoever. After I've stopped breastfeeding it took another 6 months before I felt the urge. But when it came back it came back crashing. Never had it stronger before.
Hope it helps.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"16 weeks. I do all to look after her and baby so it isnt that. She says she wants too do im not pressuring her, only trying to help
16 weeks is nothing. She has a tiny human so dependent on her right now. Her body is going through loads, never mind her mental and emotional states!
This is the bit where you backnoff the sex and support in every way you can. And when she's back on it, thatbsupport will count for more than you know
But she wants to try and says down because she wants to but cant
She may be saying that because she thinks that's what you want to hear and she's worried that you will go elsewhere or lose you patience.
Look her straight in the eye, tell her how much you love her and the baby you made together and how proud you are of her, tell her that you don't expect ANY physical contact that could lead to sex until she is ready. Many women know that an innocent hug or touch is sometimes seen as a precurser to sex when all they want is just a hug or touch.
Understand that even when she's asleep, or sitting with a coffee, her brain is on overtime, constantly thinking ahead, planning and working out how to be a mum.
Don't ask if you can help with anything or if there's anything you can do because it's not helping her, you are not her employee, you are part of your whole family and household. Just get the hoover out, wash up, wipe down the kitchen surfaces, fold the laundry, take it upstairs, put it away, pick stuff up off the floor and when she asks what you'd like for your tea (if she's the one that does the cooking) tell her. Quite often, the cook in the house doesn't mind the cooking, what they hate is trying to decide what to cook.
Entertain and be with your baby, it's incredibly good for your child to be held, rocked and chatted to, it makes them secure and confident and one day, they will be asking you for the car keys and 50 quid and you'll forget what they smelled like when you had that first cuddle in the morning.
Just invest in being a family and the rest will come."
Thank you for advice. I have worried about me being pushy and that she is just doing or saying for my benefit. I dont want that and maybe i have been trying for what i want and not what she wants but what i think she does because i do! Sound advice
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
I can't believe what I'm reading here OP.
Your partner has just given you the most precious gift in the world and your here complaining that your having sex twice a day....just not the sort of sex you think you should be having.
Have you ever stopped to consider the physical emotional and purely exhausting effects on someone you claim to care for of bringing a child into the world.
Maybe if you have your partner time consideration and tried to understand all the pressures she now faces you may be less concerned for your own sexual gratification and more able to understand that sex is possibly only happening out of some sense of duty and that's why it feels unsatisfactory.
Love and sex are not the same. You are blessed with a child and a wife. Nurture them protect them love them. Sex will happen the way you want it to in it's own time.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?
Some women have an unconscious fear that having sex after birth will be different or hurt. Take your time with her. Try foreplay and don't push for penetrative sex. Let it happen slowly. Plenty of kisses and cuddles without any pressure and hopefully she'll find her mojo again.
They're having sex 1-2 times a day! "
Sex yes! I dont want her to just have sex because she putting herself out for me! I want to try and find how i can resolve this issue going off what i think she wants. Through other posts (helpfull not ones that reflect their own jealouslys) i can see that none a day for us both would be better than twice a day for just what she thinks is best for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can't believe what I'm reading here OP.
Your partner has just given you the most precious gift in the world and your here complaining that your having sex twice a day....just not the sort of sex you think you should be having.
Have you ever stopped to consider the physical emotional and purely exhausting effects on someone you claim to care for of bringing a child into the world.
Maybe if you have your partner time consideration and tried to understand all the pressures she now faces you may be less concerned for your own sexual gratification and more able to understand that sex is possibly only happening out of some sense of duty and that's why it feels unsatisfactory.
Love and sex are not the same. You are blessed with a child and a wife. Nurture them protect them love them. Sex will happen the way you want it to in it's own time.
"
You have repeated what i. Saying in your last couple of paragraphs! Im not complaining im having sex im asking for advice to make sure she isnt having sex for my benefit and telling me she wants to be horny for herself and i feell bad as i should be helping her and making her feel happy not bad because of things that i should help as there is two of us in this relationship, its my duty yo ensure she doesnt feel alone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?
Some women have an unconscious fear that having sex after birth will be different or hurt. Take your time with her. Try foreplay and don't push for penetrative sex. Let it happen slowly. Plenty of kisses and cuddles without any pressure and hopefully she'll find her mojo again.
They're having sex 1-2 times a day!
Sex yes! I dont want her to just have sex because she putting herself out for me! I want to try and find how i can resolve this issue going off what i think she wants. Through other posts (helpfull not ones that reflect their own jealouslys) i can see that none a day for us both would be better than twice a day for just what she thinks is best for me"
Jealous? I haven’t seen any jealously? |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
"I can't believe what I'm reading here OP.
Your partner has just given you the most precious gift in the world and your here complaining that your having sex twice a day....just not the sort of sex you think you should be having.
Have you ever stopped to consider the physical emotional and purely exhausting effects on someone you claim to care for of bringing a child into the world.
Maybe if you have your partner time consideration and tried to understand all the pressures she now faces you may be less concerned for your own sexual gratification and more able to understand that sex is possibly only happening out of some sense of duty and that's why it feels unsatisfactory.
Love and sex are not the same. You are blessed with a child and a wife. Nurture them protect them love them. Sex will happen the way you want it to in it's own time.
You have repeated what i. Saying in your last couple of paragraphs! Im not complaining im having sex im asking for advice to make sure she isnt having sex for my benefit and telling me she wants to be horny for herself and i feell bad as i should be helping her and making her feel happy not bad because of things that i should help as there is two of us in this relationship, its my duty yo ensure she doesnt feel alone!"
I know you are much younger than me and this is new to you. Your reply gives me hope for you both.
Forget sex, both of you. It will not work in the way you probably both want for some considerable time. Your a father now. That's enough to deal with. Love them both. Enjoy all the stuff that goes with being parents. Forget the sex, or knock one out. Our kids are more precious than the whole world. I Think you may have discovered that.
The sex it will happen in it's own time without either of you feeling any sense of duty or pressure.
Enjoy your life and adore your partner and child. The rest will happen in it's own time.
And good luck good health and good fortune to your family.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our Little'uns are 3 and 2.
The idea of "sexy undies" still makes me feel sick...
Bradley could compliment me all the time, but it all comes down to YOU feeling comfortable in YOUR own new body. And I honestly think that, personally, such a gift would make me feel pressured.
Having a baby causes all Hell of physical, emotional and hormonal changes. 16 weeks is nothing and right now, she is probably fucking exhausted.
She probably CAN'T relax to enjoy sex because her brain is on high-alert, listening out for her Baby.
And long drawn-out sensual sex conflicts with having children because you never know when they're going to wake up!
It sounds like she is feeling pressured to have sex with you - if you care about her, then STOP having sex and TALK!
Find out if she is doing it just for your benefit, if so, why? (i.e: does she think she'll lose you if you're not getting any from her?).
Reassure her, love her, give her a simple cuddle without trying to grope her/lead it towards sex, help out as much as you can with Baby, but also understand that getting your dick wet probably needs to take a back seat for now.
- Amy. x"
This is great advice. I feel bad for letting her potentially put out as ive been noticeably selfish and adding to her problems. Its a first baby and i have been ignorant to how she could feel as ive gone off what she says (maybe just for my benefit as loves me too) and as i want that to be true ive stuck with that instead of trying to think how she might feel deep down... i feel so shit now! I do work hard and helo out as much as can wen at home. I do all cooking and apart from night feeds i do as much with baby as time allows. I dont go out with mates, i work and spend time with her and make her aware that is my choice and i dont need anymore than those 2 being as happy as i can help |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?
Some women have an unconscious fear that having sex after birth will be different or hurt. Take your time with her. Try foreplay and don't push for penetrative sex. Let it happen slowly. Plenty of kisses and cuddles without any pressure and hopefully she'll find her mojo again.
They're having sex 1-2 times a day!
Sex yes! I dont want her to just have sex because she putting herself out for me! I want to try and find how i can resolve this issue going off what i think she wants. Through other posts (helpfull not ones that reflect their own jealouslys) i can see that none a day for us both would be better than twice a day for just what she thinks is best for me
Jealous? I haven’t seen any jealously?"
Ppl ignoring what im saying and making out im selfish as getting sex twice a day but complaining. Sorry maybe replying to wrong post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When you go away give her a massage and just kiss her body don't expect anything in return stroke he all over till she is totally relaxed then just cuddle together and look into each other's eyes as your gently stroke her. Make the time her time |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are. |
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"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are."
I agree, she should be reading this too. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x"
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling "
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x"
Im asking people on a site who prob give straight advice as habe experience |
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"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking"
I wasn't suggesting you were keeping secrets.
I just meant that maybe if she read some of these comments, it could help. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
When I had my first child it was really hard work, I was a single mother trying my best to look after baby whilst working to make ends meet. I was shattered and never had or made any time for myself!
You’ve both got each other to support one another. If weather is nice grab a few bits go and have a picnic/walk/window shopping!
Run her a nice relaxing bath with a few candles round one evening and let her chill out, have time to herself whilst you do something nice like get baby settled, make a nice meal for you both or even just sit cosy watching a film
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better "
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking"
But is she reading it all too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking
But is she reading it all too?"
Is she ok with you asking- that’s another ballgame |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better "
What situation does she feel is out of her hands?
She needs the confidence to NOT have sex. The times not right.
Once she has that confidence she will feel a little more in control. Right now she's going along with it because her husband is browsing on a sex site and she's terrified if she doesn't do it he will get it elsewhere.
Can you not see that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better
What situation does she feel is out of her hands?
She needs the confidence to NOT have sex. The times not right.
Once she has that confidence she will feel a little more in control. Right now she's going along with it because her husband is browsing on a sex site and she's terrified if she doesn't do it he will get it elsewhere.
Can you not see that?"
This is a site we both joined and I've pointed out I'm feeling like it's been my fault after telling her people's responses |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking
But is she reading it all too?
Is she ok with you asking- that’s another ballgame "
She wants to fix as much as I do |
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"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking
But is she reading it all too?
Is she ok with you asking- that’s another ballgame
She wants to fix as much as I do"
But you've had excellent advice from people who have had children and negotiated the post natal period successfully. Does she agree with any of ot? |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better
What situation does she feel is out of her hands?
She needs the confidence to NOT have sex. The times not right.
Once she has that confidence she will feel a little more in control. Right now she's going along with it because her husband is browsing on a sex site and she's terrified if she doesn't do it he will get it elsewhere.
Can you not see that?
This is a site we both joined and I've pointed out I'm feeling like it's been my fault after telling her people's responses"
Why are you telling her people's responses? Give her the devise you are using and ask her to read the thread for herself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"She is probably exhausted and probably appreciate you help run the house, even making a cuppa or meal because it’s bloody hard work trying to get back to some sort of routine plus trying to look good and feel good about yourself ( I hated my mummy belly - thought it looked horrid plus I felt empty after I had my babies) Also if she’s anything like I was I’d sooner have a kiss and a cuddle then a jump!
You really need to talk to her and find out how she’s feeling
I talk too much sometimes. I always ask how she feels and she has told me she want to feel like that but because of out her hands situation she cant and that makes her feel bad. I just want to make it better
What situation does she feel is out of her hands?
She needs the confidence to NOT have sex. The times not right.
Once she has that confidence she will feel a little more in control. Right now she's going along with it because her husband is browsing on a sex site and she's terrified if she doesn't do it he will get it elsewhere.
Can you not see that?
This is a site we both joined and I've pointed out I'm feeling like it's been my fault after telling her people's responses
Why are you telling her people's responses? Give her the devise you are using and ask her to read the thread for herself"
She asked what they were and chose not to read. I'm on here to resolve shit with her not put myself against her.
I appreciate those giving advice even when it may be irrelevant to us but some seem very hostile and attacking when that can only suggest they have too personal of a side to how they feel and missing where it is actually coming from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately OP, it may take some time. The baby is only 16 weeks old. Your partner's body is still recovering. Motherhood is emotionally and physically draining. It's a wonderful thing, but it really does take a toll on body and mind. The only thing you can do, is be patient with her. Being loving and understanding, helping her a lot with the baby, will help her gain her equilibrium a lot faster. It took me a year. Hopefully it's not as long for you both. All women rediscover their sex drives at different times. There is no 'one size fits all' fix for this, unfortunately. But support and patience may speed up her desire to be intimate in that way with you again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking
But is she reading it all too?
Is she ok with you asking- that’s another ballgame
She wants to fix as much as I do
But you've had excellent advice from people who have had children and negotiated the post natal period successfully. Does she agree with any of ot?"
My ex was desperate to get his leg over, hint that he needed to drain his balls- I told him to get over himself and stop being a selfish prick! If he was that desperate to shoot his load use his hand! Didn’t go anywhere near him for months as he was a douche and didn’t help round the house or even spend time with the other kids because he worked hard all day - mmm let’s get the violin out lol!
Stuck with him for few years because of the kids then woke up and smelt the coffee and told him to do 1 |
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"Unfortunately OP, it may take some time. The baby is only 16 weeks old. Your partner's body is still recovering. Motherhood is emotionally and physically draining. It's a wonderful thing, but it really does take a toll on body and mind. The only thing you can do, is be patient with her. Being loving and understanding, helping her a lot with the baby, will help her gain her equilibrium a lot faster. It took me a year. Hopefully it's not as long for you both. All women rediscover their sex drives at different times. There is no 'one size fits all' fix for this, unfortunately. But support and patience may speed up her desire to be intimate in that way with you again "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately OP, it may take some time. The baby is only 16 weeks old. Your partner's body is still recovering. Motherhood is emotionally and physically draining. It's a wonderful thing, but it really does take a toll on body and mind. The only thing you can do, is be patient with her. Being loving and understanding, helping her a lot with the baby, will help her gain her equilibrium a lot faster. It took me a year. Hopefully it's not as long for you both. All women rediscover their sex drives at different times. There is no 'one size fits all' fix for this, unfortunately. But support and patience may speed up her desire to be intimate in that way with you again
Well said "
Thanks well said indeed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The fact you are on here asking strangers for advice kind of suggests you are not communicating with her properly.
Hide your profile, log out, give Spearmint Rhino a miss and get to know the mother of your child all over again. She's never going to be the woman you married again because she is now a mother. Equally she needs to stop putting out for the sake of it and get to know you again. You are a father now.
All the time you are on here she will be wondering if you will play away if she doesn't have sex twice a day. It's hardly conclusive to a loving relationship.
She needs to read this thread too... Maybe it will help her open up to you about why things are as they are.
I agree, she should be reading this too. x
I dont keep no secrets from her and she is aware i am asking
But is she reading it all too?
Is she ok with you asking- that’s another ballgame
She wants to fix as much as I do
But you've had excellent advice from people who have had children and negotiated the post natal period successfully. Does she agree with any of ot?
My ex was desperate to get his leg over, hint that he needed to drain his balls- I told him to get over himself and stop being a selfish prick! If he was that desperate to shoot his load use his hand! Didn’t go anywhere near him for months as he was a douche and didn’t help round the house or even spend time with the other kids because he worked hard all day - mmm let’s get the violin out lol!
Stuck with him for few years because of the kids then woke up and smelt the coffee and told him to do 1 "
I love the women she is. Im not complaining or saying she is wrong. Im asking how i can resolve something im aware now i could be causing. I see she is caring and i know she would say or act how she thinks i want her to, while i appreciate that i would rather she did and felt she could say what she wants, not what she thinks i want |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately OP, it may take some time. The baby is only 16 weeks old. Your partner's body is still recovering. Motherhood is emotionally and physically draining. It's a wonderful thing, but it really does take a toll on body and mind. The only thing you can do, is be patient with her. Being loving and understanding, helping her a lot with the baby, will help her gain her equilibrium a lot faster. It took me a year. Hopefully it's not as long for you both. All women rediscover their sex drives at different times. There is no 'one size fits all' fix for this, unfortunately. But support and patience may speed up her desire to be intimate in that way with you again
Well said "
I do help out and do what i can to make her life easier. She has my support but im loved up and dumb! Ive lived relationships in the wrong way and know what not to do from that,knowing what not to do but not knowing what should do .. |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I’d personally suggest just being as nurturing as you can be, that’s what she will be doing with the baby and will likely need someone to nurture her too. with so many changes to both the mind and the body it could be a chemical imbalalance, fatigue or an array of potential things. I’m a firm believer in the small things matter most, just give her a reason to feel good about her body. It wont help the situation progress any faster but she likely won’t feel as down if she knows that she’s still the most appealing woman to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately OP, it may take some time. The baby is only 16 weeks old. Your partner's body is still recovering. Motherhood is emotionally and physically draining. It's a wonderful thing, but it really does take a toll on body and mind. The only thing you can do, is be patient with her. Being loving and understanding, helping her a lot with the baby, will help her gain her equilibrium a lot faster. It took me a year. Hopefully it's not as long for you both. All women rediscover their sex drives at different times. There is no 'one size fits all' fix for this, unfortunately. But support and patience may speed up her desire to be intimate in that way with you again
Well said
I do help out and do what i can to make her life easier. She has my support but im loved up and dumb! Ive lived relationships in the wrong way and know what not to do from that,knowing what not to do but not knowing what should do .."
I did read further up the thread, after posting this OP. It seems like quickies are not fulfilling for you and i presume not for her either. I get that she is also despairing of losing her sex drive, but please reassure her, from one mother to another, that she is completely normal, in this regard. Perhaps you could spend some time just cuddling for now? You really both need this intimacy now. Fucking is not going to bring this into the fold. If anything, it could bring on some form of resentment, further down the line. I'm sure you are both exhausted with the changes. Being close to each other, is all that is needed for for now. Her sex drive will hopefully come back, in time. Obviously, with a baby, the dynamic may change a little at first. As long as she knows that you are willing to wait until she's ready and be there for her and the baby in the meantime, it will make your bond, even stronger than it already is. I wish the best for both you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any advice on how to help gf to rediscover her sex drive? Brought her sexy new underwear, always complement her and be unselfish in bed. Away for few days in hotel without baby and she still isnt feeling it. Any ideas or harsh truth to clear for me?"
Patience, understanding and time, don’t pressure her and just let nature take its course. Give her lots of cuddles and let her know you still fancy the pants off her but tell her you understand her body has been through a lot. It’ll come back when her body and mind are good and ready, trying to force the issue will drive her away. |
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