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Swingers village
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Lighthearted thread so keep it fun and witty please 
I'm buying a huge plot of land to start the ultimate swingers village so the question is what features should we have that will encourage you to up sticks and buy a property ?
I'm starting with a village pub next to the river |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I'll set up a tea shop.
With lots of cake... 
Fantastic, you're the first resident so can pick any plot for your tea shop.
Do you want a village green building ?"
Yes please; near the duck pond would be perfect  |
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"I'll set up a tea shop.
With lots of cake...
Fantastic, you're the first resident so can pick any plot for your tea shop.
Do you want a village green building ?
Yes please; near the duck pond would be perfect "
Considerate sorted and on the plans |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A competing pub that sells cake
Not competing !!
Working together to offer an alternative 
No, sorry, we're competing 
Then your not invited into my village  "
Wimp |
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"Since this village isn't allowed more than pub
I'm going to sell ankle bracelets and pamper grass "
Definitely allowed more than one pub it's the competing that's out.
You'll be rich with your new idea though |
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"I'd make a stage where every day we have a new contest ..
Day 1 : Most enthusiastic blow job
Day2 : Woman who can get a guy hard the quickest without using any part of her body
You get the idea "
Sounds like my 18-30 holiday back in the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?
If your grumpy in this village there's no hope for you.
I'll put a topless barmaid in to cheer you up"
The fact that there's no hope for me is a long-established fact. |
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"Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?
If your grumpy in this village there's no hope for you.
I'll put a topless barmaid in to cheer you up
The fact that there's no hope for me is a long-established fact."
Mmmmm not sure whether you'd fit in, have you got a stunning hot wife ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Costa, Debenhams and a swimming pool please, can live without everything else
I'm not sure about chain stores, we're trying to break free from society
Would an independent coffee house be ok ?"
Nothing tastes as good as a Costa
And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life |
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"
Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities
And a carpark for the doggers
Mmmmmm do we want outsiders coming in ? "
Could keep it for the people who live in the village to use for dogging.
I'm hoping this is a pretty big village! and so wish it was real! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing tastes as good as a Costa
And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life
Agree, none of the other places come close to costa... "
The sandwich shop across from where I work makes good coffee, and the girls who work there are pretty tasty as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing tastes as good as a Costa
And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life
Agree, none of the other places come close to costa... "
You have fantastic taste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you lots going to bring in these retail chains why not you stay where you are... Village should look and smell like one, so I am creating farm land with lot of farm animals and barley cultivation to supply the local pubs.. I will be running law firm, so if you couples want to divorce and marry the next door neighbor, it will be handy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg
Great, I can buy the veg from my farm, you can pay back by kisses.  "
Lots of thingy shaped turnips please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture. "
Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?  |
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"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg
Expect an increase in "novelty" photos in Hotpics.....
Getting your 5 a day "
Having seen a few of "those" photos, I'm not sure that method of consumption is the best route to digestion...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A clinic next to the pharmacy
And then a pitchfork shop next to that to chase any one diagnosed out of the village so the barebacking can continue lol"
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.
Will you be giving demonstrations to customers? "
Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour  |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.
Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?
Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour "
** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to be the handy man.
Need something fixed or built i can do it for you. With all these sex swings and stuff around the town someones got to maintain them.
Naked builder doing odd jobs !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.
Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?
Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour "
That's handy, I'm a bit out of practice with my riding crop |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
"Can I offer to be the busty barmaid?
You can certainly be interviewed by me to see if you have the correct assets to keep my villagers happy "
oh I'm quite good at getting a nice head ..... on the beer |
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Fab retirement home, as I've proposed before, for the more aged but very young and horny at heart. We'll have a cover facade, for visiting relatives not in the know but once they're out, the dungeon and other facilities will come into their own. Young men entertain the more experienced ladies as well as potential bi fun. Tons of facilities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like to be the handy man.
Need something fixed or built i can do it for you. With all these sex swings and stuff around the town someones got to maintain them.
Naked builder doing odd jobs !!"
U can come round and service our huge hot tub  |
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"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.
I'd happily run it
Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out
Brilliant, my hubby could also be the villages carpenter "
So he can nail and screw few of the women ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just seen a planning application for a glory hole and some stocks to be built next to the sex swings on the village green.
Can residents please write in to the council to support this. You can also have your say at the next planning meeting after which there is a dogging demonstration in the new car park. |
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"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.
I'd happily run it
Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out
Brilliant, my hubby could also be the villages carpenter
So he can nail and screw few of the women ?"
He could do that |
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