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Does that really work for you?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Mrs will reply to any message and I'm sure we've had a meet from a message that began with hi or something similar. She's a chatty soul so has no problem turning a hi into a conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?  "
I agree it is dull but it does put your profile and pic out there and as many single guys get little or no interest even when they send a well thought out message based on the subjects profile, it's understandable how some do it, I myself always have something to say but for some that's too much to....... You can't please all of the people all the time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
From my perspective, I find it quite lazy so unless the profile pic really captures me, I just delete x |
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Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace. |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
You get that a lot then ?
Don’t people read profile and the string a few lines at leat then.
Saying that though doesn’t work I’m finding.
Spill the bean were do we go ? Lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some guys don’t know what to write so just start with a “hi” like it was said before, outside and face to face a conversation starts with a hi. If a lady messaged me hi I would reply. They could have the greatest personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? I agree it is dull but it does put your profile and pic out there and as many single guys get little or no interest even when they send a well thought out message based on the subjects profile, it's understandable how some do it, I myself always have something to say but for some that's too much to....... You can't please all of the people all the time "
I do this. I try to put up a good profile, and write something relatively short, but relevant. And yes, I rarely get a reply back. To be fair though, I am probably quite a niche taste, with the beard, and the holes in my ears, and the facial piercings, and the shaved head. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never minded the "hi" messages as that's how most conversations start really ... but thet get an instant delete if thet haven't read my profile or a block if they are rude or crude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never minded the "hi" messages as that's how most conversations start really ... but thet get an instant delete if thet haven't read my profile or a block if they are rude or crude "
They* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep telling myself they are so overwhelmed and in awe of my perfect profile a 'hi' is all they can manage  
See where you’re coming from here  "
Why the confused face then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send dull messages, I read a lady's profile and based my messages around them. Unfortunately it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference, might start to just say "hi" or "X" and save time and thinking! |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf "
But a lot better, in the street, is "hello I'm x, couldn't help but notice the fab outfit you have on, clearly you know style, it really is made for you, faf..." ignore the last word.
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf "
whats wrong with it? Its boring and lacks imagination and if thats the best someone can up with after reading my profile i have no interest |
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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago
Failsworth |
"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
Couple it with a profile that says "will fill this in later" and they been a member for a while!
*sigh* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace."
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"! |
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"! "
Well said |
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"! "
I know this wont go down well.. hey ho... some women who want more than a "Hi" what makes you so special, your pictures are just as nice as the other 0000s of profiles on here, your profile read is no different to the other 0000s on here. A sense of realism would be nice, do you expect war in peace in a pub or club and those cheesy chat up lines or a simple hello  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"! "
Doesn’t have to be a long message, just something more original and a comment to prove you’ve read there profile. A lazy generic message would only probably work if the bloke has clearly got it going on. Oh, there’s plenty of women and couples who do go looking. |
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
I know this wont go down well.. hey ho... some women who want more than a "Hi" what makes you so special, your pictures are just as nice as the other 0000s of profiles on here, your profile read is no different to the other 0000s on here. A sense of realism would be nice, do you expect war in peace in a pub or club and those cheesy chat up lines or a simple hello "
i dont go to a pub or club looking to have wild kinky sex with. I want to have it with someone im compatable with and im not compatable with guys that just send a hi message. Its that simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group. |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group."
in the last month none as im not meeting but when i am i send messages to guys i send the same sort of message as id like to recieve myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
I know this wont go down well.. hey ho... some women who want more than a "Hi" what makes you so special, your pictures are just as nice as the other 0000s of profiles on here, your profile read is no different to the other 0000s on here. A sense of realism would be nice, do you expect war in peace in a pub or club and those cheesy chat up lines or a simple hello i dont go to a pub or club looking to have wild kinky sex with. I want to have it with someone im compatable with and im not compatable with guys that just send a hi message. Its that simple"
It's a very good simple filter system for you and s out most men. You should be very happy they show quickly they're not compatible. Saves you a lot if reading. |
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
I know this wont go down well.. hey ho... some women who want more than a "Hi" what makes you so special, your pictures are just as nice as the other 0000s of profiles on here, your profile read is no different to the other 0000s on here. A sense of realism would be nice, do you expect war in peace in a pub or club and those cheesy chat up lines or a simple hello i dont go to a pub or club looking to have wild kinky sex with. I want to have it with someone im compatable with and im not compatable with guys that just send a hi message. Its that simple
It's a very good simple filter system for you and s out most men. You should be very happy they show quickly they're not compatible. Saves you a lot if reading. "
it does i can flick by the messages without a second thought |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group."
Nice one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group."
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same. |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group.
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same. "
some women and couples. Ive never disrespted or treated a man like shit all the while ive been here. Maybe thats why i dont get the drama some seem to get. Dont lump us all the same |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
In over two years of being on here I don't think I've ever felt like I've been treated like a piece of meat or like shit - and think that to suggest it's the norm for women and couples to do so is a huge generalisation that's very wide of the mark.
I don't deny that there are some that do, just as there are some single guys on here that probably deserve to be with the way they behave - in fact it raises a chicken and egg question as to which pre-empted the other in the situations where it does occur.
Back to the original point though - I personally wouldn't send a simple "Hi" message to anyone I didn't know already but understand both why some people aren't receptive to them and also why some people send them.
I think ultimately it's a question of balance though - a simple "Hi, how are you?" is probably not enough (unless has been shown here you've got a very good profile to back it up and are willing to take the chance that the recipient isn't the type to delete such messages out of hand) but war and peace is also not necessary.
I personally think somewhere between the two that is tailored to the recipient and contains just enough to pique the person's interest and lead them to look at your profile (which should be well written and with decent pics) is about the right balance.
That's what I send on the rare occasions I send a "cold" message anyway and so far have only had no reply from one of those - so it works for me and as I said hasn't led to me being treated like shit either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would usually answer a ‘hi’ message if the profile is interesting. I am one of the ladies that will more likely be drawn in by a personalised message though.
No effort on the message or the profile, and I won’t make an effort to reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group.
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same. "
Unfortunately this can often be very true as many do, my two experiences in two clubs in England reinforced that and primary reason I wouldn't go to a club alone as a single guy again.
Fab is created by all its members and however one feels about this we all have some responsibility towards others on it and how it's it effects others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Mrs will reply to any message and I'm sure we've had a meet from a message that began with hi or something similar. She's a chatty soul so has no problem turning a hi into a conversation "
This sounds like me. Can get me I to bother sometimes though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same.
That’s a sweeping generalisation!
I’d hate to think I treated anyone on here like that, i know what it feels like!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same.
That’s a sweeping generalisation!
I’d hate to think I treated anyone on here like that, i know what it feels like!
"
Yeah I worded it badly, not all do. I meant the ones that do treat men like meat yet go mad when they get the same treatment back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Mrs will reply to any message and I'm sure we've had a meet from a message that began with hi or something similar. She's a chatty soul so has no problem turning a hi into a conversation
This sounds like me. Can get me I to bother sometimes though!"
Scottish women are definitely the friendliest |
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace."
|
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We don't really care if it's just an initial short message. If the guy has a cock avatar or Katie doesn't fancy him from his pics, it's a delete.
If she does fancy him and his profile doesn't make him sound like a complete arse, it's game on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, whilst I know that I myself would not just send a 'Hi' or similarly brief and mono-sylabilic type message, I am aware that many chaps get this said of them. Alas, it is also prevalent in many females and couples (not all by any means. But many).
Perhaps this is brought about by them having lots of choice when seeking a male on here and feeling that effort is not needed on their part as there are plenty of others that they will deem to be grateful for their deigning to message them at all.
Or maybe they're a bit unsure of what to say and are actually perfectly nice folks. Just stuck for words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst women may get 59,000 one line messages a day saying "hi" or "how are you". I get roughly 0, give or take a few non existent messages. So one "hi" in my inbox would have me dancing a merry jig... just try it and see!
So yes... a simple expression of interest is enough to start a conversation for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace."
Yes but in a pub you can see the person, read body language, and a real-life conversation is very different to an online one which needs way more effort for personality to come across |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
I like to see how many times they say hi, I always return with whatever they’ve greeted me with, sometimes it’s a long wait if ever to get conversation, which is usually, want to meet for a coffee... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same.
That’s a sweeping generalisation!
I’d hate to think I treated anyone on here like that, i know what it feels like!
Yeah I worded it badly, not all do. I meant the ones that do treat men like meat yet go mad when they get the same treatment back. "
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to see how many times they say hi, I always return with whatever they’ve greeted me with, sometimes it’s a long wait if ever to get conversation, which is usually, want to meet for a coffee..."
I went on a date with literally the world's most boring woman ever. No hobbies. No interests. Didn't even like travel or walks in nature. Our entire conversation was forced to retreat to films she thought were ok. It was such a dire date that I was hugely relieved when she said she had to leave early. Phew! I love it when people you're not into aren't into you either. It makes things so much simpler.
A few days later I get a text from her! It says "hi how are you?". I'm so puzzled by the sudden expression of interest and about how to respond that I leave it a day before writing back "I'm good how are you?". Another day passes and then I receive the reply "I'm fine how are you?". At this point I didn't have the heart to bat it back for a second time. So it's a question which shall forever remain unanswered... hopefully gnawing at the soul of the world's most boring woman and stirring in her a great thirst for knowledge and adventure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think an opening message should be that difficult. Just mention something in their profile which attracts or interests you, attach a face pic and offer to meet for a no-pressure social if the attraction is mutual |
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"I like to see how many times they say hi, I always return with whatever they’ve greeted me with, sometimes it’s a long wait if ever to get conversation, which is usually, want to meet for a coffee...
I went on a date with literally the world's most boring woman ever. No hobbies. No interests. Didn't even like travel or walks in nature. Our entire conversation was forced to retreat to films she thought were ok. It was such a dire date that I was hugely relieved when she said she had to leave early. Phew! I love it when people you're not into aren't into you either. It makes things so much simpler.
A few days later I get a text from her! It says "hi how are you?". I'm so puzzled by the sudden expression of interest and about how to respond that I leave it a day before writing back "I'm good how are you?". Another day passes and then I receive the reply "I'm fine how are you?". At this point I didn't have the heart to bat it back for a second time. So it's a question which shall forever remain unanswered... hopefully gnawing at the soul of the world's most boring woman and stirring in her a great thirst for knowledge and adventure "
That's brilliant, how do these people function in life?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to see how many times they say hi, I always return with whatever they’ve greeted me with, sometimes it’s a long wait if ever to get conversation, which is usually, want to meet for a coffee...
I went on a date with literally the world's most boring woman ever. No hobbies. No interests. Didn't even like travel or walks in nature. Our entire conversation was forced to retreat to films she thought were ok. It was such a dire date that I was hugely relieved when she said she had to leave early. Phew! I love it when people you're not into aren't into you either. It makes things so much simpler.
A few days later I get a text from her! It says "hi how are you?". I'm so puzzled by the sudden expression of interest and about how to respond that I leave it a day before writing back "I'm good how are you?". Another day passes and then I receive the reply "I'm fine how are you?". At this point I didn't have the heart to bat it back for a second time. So it's a question which shall forever remain unanswered... hopefully gnawing at the soul of the world's most boring woman and stirring in her a great thirst for knowledge and adventure
That's brilliant, how do these people function in life?!"
Boobs |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"I like to see how many times they say hi, I always return with whatever they’ve greeted me with, sometimes it’s a long wait if ever to get conversation, which is usually, want to meet for a coffee...
I went on a date with literally the world's most boring woman ever. No hobbies. No interests. Didn't even like travel or walks in nature. Our entire conversation was forced to retreat to films she thought were ok. It was such a dire date that I was hugely relieved when she said she had to leave early. Phew! I love it when people you're not into aren't into you either. It makes things so much simpler.
A few days later I get a text from her! It says "hi how are you?". I'm so puzzled by the sudden expression of interest and about how to respond that I leave it a day before writing back "I'm good how are you?". Another day passes and then I receive the reply "I'm fine how are you?". At this point I didn't have the heart to bat it back for a second time. So it's a question which shall forever remain unanswered... hopefully gnawing at the soul of the world's most boring woman and stirring in her a great thirst for knowledge and adventure "
Ahhh you didn’t talk about coffee... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
Does your one picture no verifications work for you? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Does your one picture no verifications work for you?"
Ah but Lisa does have verifications - she just chooses not to display them - so the answer to the question is it obviously does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf "
But this isn't meeting face to face in the street or out socially. The online dynamic is completely different, as you don't have the initial physical connection to use as a starting block. When you have a sea of 'hi's' the more thought out message is what some will gravitate towards. I do think that people need to put more effort into profiles, also. if i get a 'hi', i just scroll through. A more thought out message, will get me looking at their profile at least and if i like the look and sound of what they have to say in their profile, that is what will get me replying. Horses for courses though. So many like different approaches. What one will like, will put another off. If I message someone first, i always put effort into what i write. If a woman only sends 'hi' to a guy, she has no right to complain about getting the same messages also. IMO.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf
But this isn't meeting face to face in the street or out socially. The online dynamic is completely different, as you don't have the initial physical connection to use as a starting block. When you have a sea of 'hi's' the more thought out message is what some will gravitate towards. I do think that people need to put more effort into profiles, also. if i get a 'hi', i just scroll through. A more thought out message, will get me looking at their profile at least and if i like the look and sound of what they have to say in their profile, that is what will get me replying. Horses for courses though. So many like different approaches. What one will like, will put another off. If I message someone first, i always put effort into what i write. If a woman only sends 'hi' to a guy, she has no right to complain about getting the same messages also. IMO.
"
but if you're already popular you're getting too many messages anyway so really it's an emotive point because you mostly concentrate on the people you know already and newcomers irrespective of effort get overlooked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf
But this isn't meeting face to face in the street or out socially. The online dynamic is completely different, as you don't have the initial physical connection to use as a starting block. When you have a sea of 'hi's' the more thought out message is what some will gravitate towards. I do think that people need to put more effort into profiles, also. if i get a 'hi', i just scroll through. A more thought out message, will get me looking at their profile at least and if i like the look and sound of what they have to say in their profile, that is what will get me replying. Horses for courses though. So many like different approaches. What one will like, will put another off. If I message someone first, i always put effort into what i write. If a woman only sends 'hi' to a guy, she has no right to complain about getting the same messages also. IMO.
but if you're already popular you're getting too many messages anyway so really it's an emotive point because you mostly concentrate on the people you know already and newcomers irrespective of effort get overlooked "
I do see your point. There are occasions where a very good message has turned my head enough for me to tap on a profile, love it and made me curious to get to know the person more though. I've gotten some fantastic regular meets from it over the years. Even from ones that were yet to be verified |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely message people first but when I do I send a message saying hi and what I liked about their profile. I always get a response even if it's a no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Wots rong with hi ?
Hi is a good way to try and start a chat.
You don't bump in to sumone on the street and the 1st thing you say is a fall random sentence....
Anyway I'm Shor hi is better than a faf
But this isn't meeting face to face in the street or out socially. The online dynamic is completely different, as you don't have the initial physical connection to use as a starting block. When you have a sea of 'hi's' the more thought out message is what some will gravitate towards. I do think that people need to put more effort into profiles, also. if i get a 'hi', i just scroll through. A more thought out message, will get me looking at their profile at least and if i like the look and sound of what they have to say in their profile, that is what will get me replying. Horses for courses though. So many like different approaches. What one will like, will put another off. If I message someone first, i always put effort into what i write. If a woman only sends 'hi' to a guy, she has no right to complain about getting the same messages also. IMO.
but if you're already popular you're getting too many messages anyway so really it's an emotive point because you mostly concentrate on the people you know already and newcomers irrespective of effort get overlooked
I do see your point. There are occasions where a very good message has turned my head enough for me to tap on a profile, love it and made me curious to get to know the person more though. I've gotten some fantastic regular meets from it over the years. Even from ones that were yet to be verified "
That's nice to know Mystique It gives me (and I suspect a legion of other men) hope xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always send out a messaged tailored to the recipient, but it still doesn't do me any good. Let's face it for the most part personality on here doesn't mean shit.
You could be the most charismatic, humorous person on here, but if you don't look a certain way you've got no chance. It's not just this site though, it's all sites. POF, Tinder, Fab, whatever. Fair enough that's not always true, you might get lucky and message someone who wants to get to know you on a deeper level rather than take one look at your face and think no way. I met my ex on POF and quite frankly I was pretty surprised when she agreed to go on a date with me. She said it was because my profile made her laugh. I've yet to have that kind of reaction again and I'd say I'm quite witty, sharp when it comes to humour.
So yeah it's not always true, but for the most part personality never really enters into it.
Look at it like this. If Peter Kay was on here now as an ordinary bloke and not a comedian, how many women/couples would actually respond to his messages or message him first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
I tend to reply if I like the pics...this is why I think the right pics on a guys profile is important
MrsK x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"! "
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
I sent you my cock pics last week, have you been busy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs"
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is. |
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you?
Least they tried. Now I'm not condoning the poor quality of the first message but 99%of guys messages no matter how good, are ignored anyways.
Question to the ladies... How many first messages have you sent in the last month?
I no longer send a first message, haven't done since starting this profile and have no intention to change that, the reason as given above and tired of having them just ignore or deleted in mass groups.
Most messages I get from ladies are, "Hi", "How you doing?", "You doing alright on here", "interesting profile", "I like your pics". Boring, unimaginative and lazy according to the ladies.
However the imagination lies with in me how I turn that round and rather than be also 'lazy' in ignoring or deleting them, engage and show I've got imagination and create an interesting conversation with someone who is possibly also interesting.
Maybe those who don't respond have become boring without realising.
I think we're all guilty of this and it's clearly not something that is a problem with any particular group."
Well put,
I don’t know what it is on here but people seem to have lost the art of good manners and being friendly. And it goes both ways - men, should do better than say hi. Not a paragraph but a simple “hi, hope you are well. Like your profile and would like to get to know you” shows a little respect. Women - I understand you get a lot of messages so sometimes messages get missed but some of you are guilty of the same thing. One line messages such as Wow, is very lazy. And to make it worse you look at their profile and they are guilty of the same thing they are ranting about.
|
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"
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same.
That’s a sweeping generalisation!
I’d hate to think I treated anyone on here like that, i know what it feels like!
"
Maybe you are the exception. I think it’s worthwhile to listen to the people who actually have been there and are saying it.
I have seen this myself personally and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you go to clubs and couples think you are just a commodity with no discernible qualities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A "Hi" works for me. Especially when guys attach a face pic. If they're my type physically, I'll check out their profile and if we seem compatible, I'll drop and message back and take it from there.
|
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"A "Hi" works for me. Especially when guys attach a face pic. If they're my type physically, I'll check out their profile and if we seem compatible, I'll drop and message back and take it from there.
"
Exactly. To me, a hi is just to bring your attention to the fact that I have noticed and am interested and gives you the space to decide if you want to play the next card or don’t. Of course, my initial messages are more than just a hi and less than a book, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is. "
Sure if I’m interested, i’ll find something to say. But I don’t know what to say if I’m not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is. "
Yep I do this. If I'm definitely not interested I'll still reply but with with a no thank you.
Otherwise I'll say "hello" or comment on their profile to see if they start chatting and if we have anything in common.
Some men just want to fuck after the first "hi" so I say we're not compatible. It seems to work ok.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the men who send dull messages, such as 'hi' or 'x' etc, does that ever work for you? "
A simple 'x' often has me swimming in clung. It's a power not to be miss used though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Women and couples treat men like pieces of meat yet they lose their minds when they think men are doing the same.
That’s a sweeping generalisation!
I’d hate to think I treated anyone on here like that, i know what it feels like!
Maybe you are the exception. I think it’s worthwhile to listen to the people who actually have been there and are saying it.
I have seen this myself personally and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you go to clubs and couples think you are just a commodity with no discernible qualities. "
It can also leave a bad taste in a woman’s mouth when men think she’s just a commodity with no discernible qualities.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is.
Sure if I’m interested, i’ll find something to say. But I don’t know what to say if I’m not interested. "
"Hi
You seem great but we're not compatible sorry.
Hope you find someone nice. xx"
If they reply asking "why not" I don't usually reply as I already said no thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is.
Sure if I’m interested, i’ll find something to say. But I don’t know what to say if I’m not interested.
"Hi
You seem great but we're not compatible sorry.
Hope you find someone nice. xx"
If they reply asking "why not" I don't usually reply as I already said no thank you. "
I don’t think I would like someone to say that to me just because I said hi, so I would not feel comfortable saying that to someone who said hi to me. A case of treating someone as I like to be treated myself. But also, most of the time I’ve no idea if someone is compatible or not, but I just don’t want to chat. I feel it would sound a bit snippy if I said I didn’t want to chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is.
Sure if I’m interested, i’ll find something to say. But I don’t know what to say if I’m not interested.
"Hi
You seem great but we're not compatible sorry.
Hope you find someone nice. xx"
If they reply asking "why not" I don't usually reply as I already said no thank you.
I don’t think I would like someone to say that to me just because I said hi, so I would not feel comfortable saying that to someone who said hi to me. A case of treating someone as I like to be treated myself. But also, most of the time I’ve no idea if someone is compatible or not, but I just don’t want to chat. I feel it would sound a bit snippy if I said I didn’t want to chat. "
You always come across as a really nice person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea.. it can do and has done.
This is not my complaint, but guys can send numerous "tailered, interesting, wordy" 1st messages only for it to be deleted, then think why bother.
At the end of the day when you are in a pub, things start off with a hello not war and peace.
What's the point in sending long messages when women and couples delete them anyway?
If the women and couples actually made some effort to go looking for men instead of waiting for their inboxes to fill up and boost their ego, it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the issue is with the women and couples that can't manage to think of a reply to "hi"!
You’ve probably hit the nail on head. We are one of those couples who don’t really know what to say to a message saying ‘hi’. I mean what should we be saying to that type of message?
Mrs
I think the best way to reply to those messages is just saying ''Hi, how are you doing?'' then comment on something in their pictures or profile that caught your eye. That's if you're interested in them that is.
Sure if I’m interested, i’ll find something to say. But I don’t know what to say if I’m not interested.
"Hi
You seem great but we're not compatible sorry.
Hope you find someone nice. xx"
If they reply asking "why not" I don't usually reply as I already said no thank you.
I don’t think I would like someone to say that to me just because I said hi, so I would not feel comfortable saying that to someone who said hi to me. A case of treating someone as I like to be treated myself. But also, most of the time I’ve no idea if someone is compatible or not, but I just don’t want to chat. I feel it would sound a bit snippy if I said I didn’t want to chat.
You always come across as a really nice person. "
Thank you  |
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If I’m honest I think a lot of people struggle to make conversation straight away when they have never spoken to someone before . I think a “ hi how’s things with you today “ is a conversation starter . I have plenty of gay men message me and I’m straight , they message stuff like “ hi” or “ fancy a suck “ like I said I’m straight but I still have manors to message them back , I think it’s a polite thing to do . No one on here is better than anyone else . We are all here trying to find that one person to connect with . It’s a cruel world out there , the least you can do is be polite .
So the next time someone says “ hi “ don’t just delete , for all you know it could of took them ages to pluck the courage up to say that one little word . Be nice people .
What goes around comes around .
Treat people how you would like to be treated .
Respect costs nothing . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m honest I think a lot of people struggle to make conversation straight away when they have never spoken to someone before . I think a “ hi how’s things with you today “ is a conversation starter . I have plenty of gay men message me and I’m straight , they message stuff like “ hi” or “ fancy a suck “ like I said I’m straight but I still have manors to message them back , I think it’s a polite thing to do . No one on here is better than anyone else . We are all here trying to find that one person to connect with . It’s a cruel world out there , the least you can do is be polite .
So the next time someone says “ hi “ don’t just delete , for all you know it could of took them ages to pluck the courage up to say that one little word . Be nice people .
What goes around comes around .
Treat people how you would like to be treated .
Respect costs nothing . "
Never going to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be difficult to respond to a ‘hi’ and get the conversation flowing. "
True.......then again, you write an intro message and it gets deleted straight away, it’s a bit of a double edged sword |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"It can be difficult to respond to a ‘hi’ and get the conversation flowing.
True.......then again, you write an intro message and it gets deleted straight away, it’s a bit of a double edged sword "
It is, I agree. I don’t expect a novel but just a sentence would be something to go on... the thing is, if they say hi and you respond by saying hi then you’re back to stalemate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be difficult to respond to a ‘hi’ and get the conversation flowing.
True.......then again, you write an intro message and it gets deleted straight away, it’s a bit of a double edged sword
It is, I agree. I don’t expect a novel but just a sentence would be something to go on... the thing is, if they say hi and you respond by saying hi then you’re back to stalemate "
yeah you have a point, then again I wouldn’t just send hi, says nothing that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I’m honest I think a lot of people struggle to make conversation straight away when they have never spoken to someone before . I think a “ hi how’s things with you today “ is a conversation starter . I have plenty of gay men message me and I’m straight , they message stuff like “ hi” or “ fancy a suck “ like I said I’m straight but I still have manors to message them back , I think it’s a polite thing to do . No one on here is better than anyone else . We are all here trying to find that one person to connect with . It’s a cruel world out there , the least you can do is be polite .
So the next time someone says “ hi “ don’t just delete , for all you know it could of took them ages to pluck the courage up to say that one little word . Be nice people .
What goes around comes around .
Treat people how you would like to be treated .
Respect costs nothing . "
Firstly you are not correct when you say we are all here to find that one person we connect with. For example we’re predominantly here because we enjoy going to swing clubs, although we do occasionally meet privately. On Fab we only want to communicate with people who are attending the same event as us. We don’t enjoy chatting on Fab and state that on our profile.
So we have a choice. We either don’t reply to the random ‘hi’ from strangers, and be branded as rude. Or we be polite and reply to all ‘hi’ messages and end up having conversations we never wanted and don’t enjoy. Before we made our profile more hostile, we used to have a daily ‘admin’ of sending out polite ‘rejection letters’. Over the years it just gets so stupid, and it made us wonder why we had to do this daily admin task in the name of manners. Because we sure as hell didn’t join Fab to do admin!
When people say manner cost nothing, it’s not true - manners can cost a lot of time. You are correct when you say nobody is better than anybody. But that has nothing to do with whether someone decides to take what is often a considerable about of time on a daily basis replying to messages.
I think respect goes both ways, and it shouldn’t be assumed that people are using Fab for chatting or meeting.
Mrs |
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