FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 5 minutes to tell me something

5 minutes to tell me something

Jump to: Newest in thread

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

if you didn't know it already I could teach you how to make a flower out of some florists wire, decoupage glue and nail varnish

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Ah. It’s not educational but instead entertaining. I could perform a mini poetry jam for you doll. In 5 minutes I can get through a load of poems!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *itvclaireTV/TS over a year ago

Birmingham

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Could tell you several useless facts in 5 minuets. Know loads of them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

if you didn't know it already I could teach you how to make a flower out of some florists wire, decoupage glue and nail varnish

I don’t know! And now I’d like to know.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ah. It’s not educational but instead entertaining. I could perform a mini poetry jam for you doll. In 5 minutes I can get through a load of poems! "

Mac! I’d love that.

I’d hit you with some Ogden Nash

“The cow is of the bovine ilk,

One end moo, the other milk.”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Could tell you several useless facts in 5 minuets. Know loads of them.

XX"

Factfilledfun

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That Hitlers ambitions in the Soviet Union were not due to ideology, rather for military strategy purposes.

You know because I’m a boring history buff!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

I can do that, so instead let’s chitter chatter in BSL or make up fake names for other people

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to set out a 4 centre drop arch with radiating joints

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That Hitlers ambitions in the Soviet Union were not due to ideology, rather for military strategy purposes.

You know because I’m a boring history buff!

“History just burps, and we taste again that raw-onion sandwich it swallowed centuries ago.” - Julian Barnes

Made me think of that quote.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

U would already know lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to set out a 4 centre drop arch with radiating joints

You’re speaking another language to me, I’ve no idea what this will be! Intriguing. Are we making a building arch of some description?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Gravitational time dilation.

Well I find it fascinating

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abloversCouple over a year ago

London

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

that you can reply politely to messages and not just delete them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

I can do that, so instead let’s chitter chatter in BSL or make up fake names for other people

Deal... It's nice to find somebody to use it with... Conversations with deaf 4 and 5 year olds can be quite limited

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar."

Oh! Fabulous. Did you write the songs yourself? I’d happily listen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice."

Talking about social housing *is* my porn, you don’t even know.

#alreadydripping

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

I could share my sexy brownie recipe

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"U would already know lol"

I feel like there’s an [insert a sausage joke here] being implied.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Gravitational time dilation.

Well I find it fascinating

I’d like to know more

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can teach you how to make an origami lily

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

that you can reply politely to messages and not just delete them"

Me personally?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

I can do that, so instead let’s chitter chatter in BSL or make up fake names for other people

Deal... It's nice to find somebody to use it with... Conversations with deaf 4 and 5 year olds can be quite limited

I’ll be dirty!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A brief history of where I live

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Oh Christ!

There’s so much in this proposal.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could share my sexy brownie recipe

And Mr Moriarty?

(Joke)

I like brownies

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never heard that before, I like it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can teach you how to make an origami lily "

Awwwww.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to change a punctured wheel on your car .....if you have one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A brief history of where I live

That would be delightful. I’d like a doggy huggle too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Never heard that before, I like it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to change a punctured wheel on your car .....if you have one

Well, you see it was one of the first things my papa taught me!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"I could share my sexy brownie recipe

And Mr Moriarty?

(Joke)

I like brownies

Ha he's probably tastier than brownies to be fair!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lenderfoxMan over a year ago

Leeds

Good thread

I could run through how to make a cracking curry

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Ah. It’s not educational but instead entertaining. I could perform a mini poetry jam for you doll. In 5 minutes I can get through a load of poems!

Mac! I’d love that.

I’d hit you with some Ogden Nash

“The cow is of the bovine ilk,

One end moo, the other milk.”"

?There once was a woman called Gertie. ?

?She wasn't classy but always quite flirty. ?

?When Desmond popped by, she'd always cry,?

?I don't want my pants back they're dirty?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could share my sexy brownie recipe

And Mr Moriarty?

(Joke)

I like brownies

Ha he's probably tastier than brownies to be fair!"

Hee hee!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to change a punctured wheel on your car .....if you have one

Well, you see it was one of the first things my papa taught me!

O well worth a try

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good thread

I could run through how to make a cracking curry

Nom nom nom!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ah. It’s not educational but instead entertaining. I could perform a mini poetry jam for you doll. In 5 minutes I can get through a load of poems!

Mac! I’d love that.

I’d hit you with some Ogden Nash

“The cow is of the bovine ilk,

One end moo, the other milk.”

?There once was a woman called Gertie. ?

?She wasn't classy but always quite flirty. ?

?When Desmond popped by, she'd always cry,?

?I don't want my pants back they're dirty?"

Gertie could probably sell them to be fair!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The gentle dips and bows of the human clavicle...

...which would leave 4 minutes for the Gemini Man philosophy on all things Fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice.

Talking about social housing *is* my porn, you don’t even know.

#alreadydripping "

I'm going to read some Lynsey Hanley to you, you'll be mine forever.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to change a punctured wheel on your car .....if you have one

Well, you see it was one of the first things my papa taught me!

O well worth a try

We could race each other changing tyres instead!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to make food more tasty. I'm a chef.

Hubby god knows what he would say

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The gentle dips and bows of the human clavicle...

...which would leave 4 minutes for the Gemini Man philosophy on all things Fab

I’d lose myself in your clavicle.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice.

Talking about social housing *is* my porn, you don’t even know.

#alreadydripping

I'm going to read some Lynsey Hanley to you, you'll be mine forever."

Estates:an intimate history?

Fuck yeah.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar.

Oh! Fabulous. Did you write the songs yourself? I’d happily listen. "

Yeah, got hundreds, recorded on 8 track, they’ll be discovered when I’m gone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to make food more tasty. I'm a chef.

Hubby god knows what he would say "

I do like it when food is tasty. My body is testament to this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar.

Oh! Fabulous. Did you write the songs yourself? I’d happily listen.

Yeah, got hundreds, recorded on 8 track, they’ll be discovered when I’m gone!

Right, here’s a challenge, post some to YouTube and link us (or me) in! I want to hear!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

The most basic foundation steps in Argentinian Tango.

Or how to turn a length of cord into handcuffs quicker than you can say handcuffs.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Oh Christ!

There’s so much in this proposal. "

We would definitely need to shower after to

(We might need 2 x 5 mins)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oooo oooo i got one id teach...

No wait you prob know that too this is so hard

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

The most basic foundation steps in Argentinian Tango.

Or how to turn a length of cord into handcuffs quicker than you can say handcuffs.

Well here’s the issue for me, I have never been able to learn dances with expected and correct steps. Don’t get me wrong, I love to dance and I’m amazing, but I am a free dancer, virtually prophetic and am more in the flailing and interpretive style of the almighty Kate Bush.

I’ll go handcuffs.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rsTrellisWoman over a year ago

Cambridge

"I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

Damn. I was gonna say that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Oh Christ!

There’s so much in this proposal.

We would definitely need to shower after to

(We might need 2 x 5 mins)"

Deal.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oooo oooo i got one id teach...

No wait you prob know that too this is so hard

Tell me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice.

Talking about social housing *is* my porn, you don’t even know.

#alreadydripping

I'm going to read some Lynsey Hanley to you, you'll be mine forever.

Estates:an intimate history?

Fuck yeah."

Well yeah but I couldn't read that in 5 minutes so I'd probaby go for one of her Guardian articles.

Estates is a good read mind - just not what I'd reach for if I'd been 3 days inactive.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd teach you to finger spell your name in BSL

Damn. I was gonna say that.

Come join our filth BSL chat

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I'd probably just tell you about my porn collection or late 18th/early 19th century social housing in Birmingham.

It's your choice.

Talking about social housing *is* my porn, you don’t even know.

#alreadydripping

I'm going to read some Lynsey Hanley to you, you'll be mine forever.

Estates:an intimate history?

Fuck yeah.

Well yeah but I couldn't read that in 5 minutes so I'd probaby go for one of her Guardian articles.

Estates is a good read mind - just not what I'd reach for if I'd been 3 days inactive."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

The most basic foundation steps in Argentinian Tango.

Or how to turn a length of cord into handcuffs quicker than you can say handcuffs.

I’ll go handcuffs.

Kate Bush used to live about 15 minutes from me, not sure if she still does.

Argentinian Tango is one of the hardest activities I've ever done. And the style I'm studying is the hardest style. Didn't tell me that when I started, bastardos.

Cuffs it is.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oooo oooo i got one id teach...

No wait you prob know that too this is so hard

Tell me"

How i can draw a snake upon your back and end it with a dot liiiiiiiike

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar.

Oh! Fabulous. Did you write the songs yourself? I’d happily listen.

Yeah, got hundreds, recorded on 8 track, they’ll be discovered when I’m gone!

Right, here’s a challenge, post some to YouTube and link us (or me) in! I want to hear!"

I’m going to try to put them on Soundcloud, I’ll give you a link when I’ve figured it out.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could show you where to put your fingers to make sweet music. I mean I can teach you basic guitar chords

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

The most basic foundation steps in Argentinian Tango.

Or how to turn a length of cord into handcuffs quicker than you can say handcuffs.

I’ll go handcuffs.

Kate Bush used to live about 15 minutes from me, not sure if she still does.

Argentinian Tango is one of the hardest activities I've ever done. And the style I'm studying is the hardest style. Didn't tell me that when I started, bastardos.

Cuffs it is.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oooo oooo i got one id teach...

No wait you prob know that too this is so hard

Tell me

How i can draw a snake upon your back and end it with a dot liiiiiiiike

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would play you two of my songs in that time on acoustic guitar.

Oh! Fabulous. Did you write the songs yourself? I’d happily listen.

Yeah, got hundreds, recorded on 8 track, they’ll be discovered when I’m gone!

Right, here’s a challenge, post some to YouTube and link us (or me) in! I want to hear!

I’m going to try to put them on Soundcloud, I’ll give you a link when I’ve figured it out. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

How to hold and start playing a saxophone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Could show you where to put your fingers to make sweet music. I mean I can teach you basic guitar chords

I’d love to learn to play guitar. That’s a real wish of mine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to hold and start playing a saxophone "

I can play tenor and alto already!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Show you how to remove a cork from a bottle of wine without touching the cork or damaging the bottle.( 2 mins.)

Then after we had consumed it...

After pushing the cirk back into the bottle undamaged, show you how to remove it using what's on the restaurant table and without damaging either the Cork or the bottle. ( 2 mins)

And for the last minute we'd just kiss..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Could show you where to put your fingers to make sweet music. I mean I can teach you basic guitar chords

I’d love to learn to play guitar. That’s a real wish of mine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"How to hold and start playing a saxophone

I can play tenor and alto already!"

I play tenor.

Can teach you the 3 fingers required to make music on a brass instrument

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Could show you where to put your fingers to make sweet music. I mean I can teach you basic guitar chords

I’d love to learn to play guitar. That’s a real wish of mine

"
Sure be good to have your hand sliding up n down my frets

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Show you how to remove a cork from a bottle of wine without touching the cork or damaging the bottle.( 2 mins.)

Then after we had consumed it...

After pushing the cirk back into the bottle undamaged, show you how to remove it using what's on the restaurant table and without damaging either the Cork or the bottle. ( 2 mins)

And for the last minute we'd just kiss..

What a corker of a plan!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to hold and start playing a saxophone

I can play tenor and alto already!

I play tenor.

Can teach you the 3 fingers required to make music on a brass instrument

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Could show you where to put your fingers to make sweet music. I mean I can teach you basic guitar chords

I’d love to learn to play guitar. That’s a real wish of mine

Sure be good to have your hand sliding up n down my frets

Filth.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arnayguyMan over a year ago

Durham Tees

You are getting some great offers.

I think I would sing 'I could write a book' to you and then make you cheese on toast.

If you didn't like the song, the cheese on toast might distract you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd rather inspire you with some wisdom.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You are getting some great offers.

I think I would sing 'I could write a book' to you and then make you cheese on toast.

If you didn't like the song, the cheese on toast might distract you. "

It most certainly would!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd rather inspire you with some wisdom. "

Ooooh yes please!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where to get the best cheddar like, ev-er!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Where to get the best cheddar like, ev-er!"

TELL ME NOW!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?"

Very.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?

Very."

In that case I will tell you how to never fail any job interview

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to set out a 4 centre drop arch with radiating joints

You’re speaking another language to me, I’ve no idea what this will be! Intriguing. Are we making a building arch of some description?"

Yes I am a stonemason

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arnsley guy100Man over a year ago

Sheffield

That all screwdrivers don't fit all screws...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

How to make a rose out of a paper napkin.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to relax and caress nature.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?

Very.

In that case I will tell you how to never fail any job interview"

That would be useful. Especially as a lot of my work is helping people to know exactly how to get jobs! I never knew there was a single golden rule!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to set out a 4 centre drop arch with radiating joints

You’re speaking another language to me, I’ve no idea what this will be! Intriguing. Are we making a building arch of some description?

Yes I am a stonemason "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That all screwdrivers don't fit all screws...

I have Makita tool set and am a DIY guru.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to make a rose out of a paper napkin."

You ol’ charmer, you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to relax and caress nature.

Treehugging?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to pull a perfect pint of real ale

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to pull a perfect pint of real ale"

Now this I can do too! I worked bars throughout my university years

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to make food more tasty. I'm a chef.

Hubby god knows what he would say

I do like it when food is tasty. My body is testament to this.

Tasty food tasty body

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to relax and caress nature.

Treehugging?"

Sort of.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *xplorer13Man over a year ago

glenrothes

You have 4 mins to live ??????

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to pull a perfect pint of real ale

Now this I can do too! I worked bars throughout my university years

"
A southern pint is different to a northern one, the northern pint has to have a sparkler and the head has to be the correct thickness

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to pull a perfect pint of real ale

Now this I can do too! I worked bars throughout my university years

A southern pint is different to a northern one, the northern pint has to have a sparkler and the head has to be the correct thickness "

I cannot see any double entendre in that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise.... if you get it, you get it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to make food more tasty. I'm a chef.

Hubby god knows what he would say

I do like it when food is tasty. My body is testament to this.

Tasty food tasty body

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to relax and caress nature.

Treehugging?

Sort of.

Oooooh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You have 4 mins to live ??????"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd probably waffle about the futility of trying to sleep when the stupid old brain won't shut up. But most likely meander off on a tangent within a minute and be enthusing about how good the new Luke Cage is on Netflix before I move to lamenting upon the fragility of ones sensibilities when you tell yourself it is all okay when you really know it ain't!

But a lot of that is probably down to lack of sleep

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to pull a perfect pint of real ale

Now this I can do too! I worked bars throughout my university years

A southern pint is different to a northern one, the northern pint has to have a sparkler and the head has to be the correct thickness "

I was pulling them in Durham

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise.... if you get it, you get it "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd probably waffle about the futility of trying to sleep when the stupid old brain won't shut up. But most likely meander off on a tangent within a minute and be enthusing about how good the new Luke Cage is on Netflix before I move to lamenting upon the fragility of ones sensibilities when you tell yourself it is all okay when you really know it ain't!

But a lot of that is probably down to lack of sleep

Shall I just distract you with a kiss?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But a lot of that is probably down to lack of sleep

Shall I just distract you with a kiss?"

Thank you kindly

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But a lot of that is probably down to lack of sleep

Shall I just distract you with a kiss?

Thank you kindly"

Now settle down, I’m going to kiss you deeply and slowly and you have nothing else to concentrate on. Oh and I smell of freshly laundered sheets and rose petals, and taste like honeycomb and all things virtuous.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I’m completely honest I would probably spend all 5 minutes trying my luck

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Could tell you several useless facts in 5 minuets. Know loads of them.

XX"

I’m guessing you meant minutes not minuets which were 18th-century courtly dances lol! On the other hand, if you did mean minuets, hey, that’s impressive!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd teach you how to use a sewing machine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

I would recite as many limericks about your beauty as I could in a bold attempt to humour and seduce you in one fell swoop! For example:

There was a young lady Estella,

Whose fabbing on fab was quite stellar,

She was so hot n horny,

Tho’I know it sounds corny,

She’d no problem finding a fella!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She started a 5 minute thread

To seduce a nice guy to her bed

I said I'd come round quite nifty

She said "no, you're past fifty"

And went with a young guy instead

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?

Very.

In that case I will tell you how to never fail any job interview

That would be useful. Especially as a lot of my work is helping people to know exactly how to get jobs! I never knew there was a single golden rule! "

Not one rule, there’re 3 things you MUST do to guarantee success that you dont know maybe.

One of them includes a glass of water.

I got 11/11 interviews, thats 100%...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d teach you how to do a terrible Alan Rickman impression.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I’m completely honest I would probably spend all 5 minutes trying my luck

Ha! And how would that go? What are your moves?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd teach you how to use a sewing machine "

Do you want to show me on my Janome machine?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would recite as many limericks about your beauty as I could in a bold attempt to humour and seduce you in one fell swoop! For example:

There was a young lady Estella,

Whose fabbing on fab was quite stellar,

She was so hot n horny,

Tho’I know it sounds corny,

She’d no problem finding a fella!!!

Haha, oh if only it were true though!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"She started a 5 minute thread

To seduce a nice guy to her bed

I said I'd come round quite nifty

She said "no, you're past fifty"

And went with a young guy instead"

We’ll always have social housing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

"
the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

Depends how smart you are?

Very.

In that case I will tell you how to never fail any job interview

That would be useful. Especially as a lot of my work is helping people to know exactly how to get jobs! I never knew there was a single golden rule!

Not one rule, there’re 3 things you MUST do to guarantee success that you dont know maybe.

One of them includes a glass of water.

I got 11/11 interviews, thats 100%..."

I am intrigued but dubious!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’d teach you how to do a terrible Alan Rickman impression. "

Needed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

if you didn't know it already I could teach you how to make a flower out of some florists wire, decoupage glue and nail varnish

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Teach me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suck bananaman’s cock to get your 1 of 5 a day

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *heDesiCandiTV/TS over a year ago

Leicestershire

How to do the perfect winged eye liner

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to do the perfect winged eye liner"

Oooh yes!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I just passed the giraffes!! Hurrah!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Proper pronounciation of welsh words

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How to cannulate and take blood

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!"
yes but oh my love to watch you running around

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eesideMan over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

I cood teatch you how to do the perfect omlit in 5 mins

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just passed the giraffes!! Hurrah!!

In under 5 mins i could pm you a direct photo of my giraffe

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I can teach you how to make a latte/flat white/cappuccino or an aeropress coffee.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Proper pronounciation of welsh words"

Oh this I would struggle with.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to cannulate and take blood

Our local phlebotomist curses when I come in, he always has to take it out the back of my hand!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!yes but oh my love to watch you running around

That would be the world’s unsexiest sight!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I cood teatch you how to do the perfect omlit in 5 mins

Eggcellent

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I just passed the giraffes!! Hurrah!!

In under 5 mins i could pm you a direct photo of my giraffe

Fnarr fnarr!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I can teach you how to make a latte/flat white/cappuccino or an aeropress coffee.

Men and their coffee gadgetry!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Proper pronounciation of welsh words

Oh this I would struggle with. "

Spelled phonetically to help you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Can I come too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Proper pronounciation of welsh words

Oh this I would struggle with.

Spelled phonetically to help you

Much appreciated

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could teach you a sexy zumba routine, hot pants compulsory

Can I come too

Of course!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

5 mins?

I’d attempt to teach you the moonwalk

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to cannulate and take blood

Our local phlebotomist curses when I come in, he always has to take it out the back of my hand! "

Haha my veins are like beautiful apparently. I’m a bleeder!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"5 mins?

I’d attempt to teach you the moonwalk

winning!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How to cannulate and take blood

Our local phlebotomist curses when I come in, he always has to take it out the back of my hand!

Haha my veins are like beautiful apparently. I’m a bleeder!"

Lucky you took two and a half hours and 3 differant nurses to find mine for transfusion

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How to cannulate and take blood

Our local phlebotomist curses when I come in, he always has to take it out the back of my hand!

Haha my veins are like beautiful apparently. I’m a bleeder!"

I’m obviously a stone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could teach you a tap timestep.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!yes but oh my love to watch you running around

That would be the world’s unsexiest sight!"
let me be judge....... Pleaseeeeee

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can teach you to twerk and do the floss lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could teach you a tap timestep."

Let’s incorporate this into our seduction of Lib.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Twerk?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!yes but oh my love to watch you running around

That would be the world’s unsexiest sight!let me be judge....... Pleaseeeeee

Some people are odd!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can teach you to twerk and do the floss lol

Amazing!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

the benefits of playing squash for a healthy heart and fit body

But it’s so fast!!yes but oh my love to watch you running around

That would be the world’s unsexiest sight!let me be judge....... Pleaseeeeee

Some people are odd!"
welcome to the world of odd swinging....... You will trust me come across many odd things here

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

How to throw a jab correctly

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Field strip and clean a Glock 17.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could teach you a tap timestep.

Let’s incorporate this into our seduction of Lib. "

I think he would prefer a lap dance

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Suck bananaman’s cock to get your 1 of 5 a day

She said five minutes bananaman, unless she’s the a bj queen and deepthroat expert she surely cant make you cum in that time..?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just passed the giraffes!! Hurrah!!

In under 5 mins i could pm you a direct photo of my giraffe

Fnarr fnarr!"

Your loss

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oeofsussexMan over a year ago

Eastbourne

Alternatively, I’d teach you how to sing and play the ukulele! You could do tons with that!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Not one rule, there’re 3 things you MUST do to guarantee success that you dont know maybe."

Guarantee success? What happens when everyone interviewing does these three things?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OK so I believe for every drop of rain that falls a peanut grows so if that's the case I mean we are talking infitesimal peanuts so how come theirs no peanut butter on the shelf at testos?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not one rule, there’re 3 things you MUST do to guarantee success that you dont know maybe.

Guarantee success? What happens when everyone interviewing does these three things?"

The world implodes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What could you teach me, or educate/tell me about if we had 5 minutes?

I can teach you how to make a latte/flat white/cappuccino or an aeropress coffee.

Men and their coffee gadgetry! "

Hey, being a barista as a trade gets results lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would t

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)