FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What is it to you?
What is it to you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Since my return to fab I have noticed an increasing number of threads from people looking for dates and searching for signifant others, either for swinging or as life partners. In my experience there were always singles on the site but it just seems to be more prevalent now more than ever.
I’m not judging how people use the site, everyone’s journey is their own and at different points we look for different things. More than anything though I’m interested to know what people’s motivation is for using fab.
So lovely fab folk; why are you here? Polyamory? Swingles? NSA? Or as I’ve said before; are you looking for a special someone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Started off with the sex, enjoying watching each other with other partners. But Its changing for me so will be the forums and a few select meets for a while x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
For me there are a number of angles and reasons behind me being here - firstly I enjoy being able to discuss sex and sexuality openly and honestly with others through the forums and messages etc. - being able to discuss things in that way is a freedom that doesn't come so easily in other areas of life, and yet it's an important aspect of it.
Secondly and probably more importantly it allows me to explore that sexuality beyond words on a page with other like minded people once I've built a connection and chemistry with them through occasional NSA meets.
I'm not looking for a relationship, as I already have one of those, but am looking for people who are on my wavelength and that I have a connection and chemistry with, that I can step inside a bubble with to spend time both socially and sexually with, but without the commitments of a relationship.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either "
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Started off with the sex, enjoying watching each other with other partners. But Its changing for me so will be the forums and a few select meets for a while x "
I’ve seen it mentioned a few times in the past that some people are here specifically for the forums and not much else, do you think being on fab specifically for the forums is a positive thing in your experience? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been here on/off 10 years searching for that elusive guy that is everything I am sexually. Haven't found him (probably wont) so as mediocre sex is better than nothing I have stayed . But it is all centred around sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it? "
I don't know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Started off with the sex, enjoying watching each other with other partners. But Its changing for me so will be the forums and a few select meets for a while x
I’ve seen it mentioned a few times in the past that some people are here specifically for the forums and not much else, do you think being on fab specifically for the forums is a positive thing in your experience? "
It is for the moment, I’ve made some great friends who are supporting me through a very hard time. Plus I can be me and open with them. I need the escape and the forums provide that x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it?
I don't know "
I read your post on another thread that started my musing for this one, I don’t want to air dirty laundry or probe too much in public forums but is it connected with that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it?
I don't know
I read your post on another thread that started my musing for this one, I don’t want to air dirty laundry or probe too much in public forums but is it connected with that? "
Which one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly I'd LOVE to find a relationship....and the ideal would be on here as I'd love a relationship where you can explore your sexuality together. I'm not poly but love the idea of playing with a partner and others.
I'm not naive to the fact that this is massively unlikely in general, and even more so on here where it is NSA focused.
Personally I think my experience on fab has made me far less trusting (how many people are not swinging but cheating) and it makes a relationship even more elusive.
So I enjoy my meets here and if the impossible ever did happen that is the cherry on top. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it?
I don't know
I read your post on another thread that started my musing for this one, I don’t want to air dirty laundry or probe too much in public forums but is it connected with that?
Which one "
The ‘on the shelf’ thread. I was just curious if that was a factor |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Started off with the sex, enjoying watching each other with other partners. But Its changing for me so will be the forums and a few select meets for a while x
I’ve seen it mentioned a few times in the past that some people are here specifically for the forums and not much else, do you think being on fab specifically for the forums is a positive thing in your experience?
It is for the moment, I’ve made some great friends who are supporting me through a very hard time. Plus I can be me and open with them. I need the escape and the forums provide that x "
I’m glad to read that, as a side note I find it really reassuring how fab friends can rally round when you need them the most. I wish you all the best xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came on here because when I went on a date and the offer of sex after it was on the cards I actually crapped it. I thought coming on here I could just have no strings sex which would let me date without the fear. Turns out I'm a complete shit bag and can't do that either
I’m sorry to read that. What was it that made you crap it?
I don't know
I read your post on another thread that started my musing for this one, I don’t want to air dirty laundry or probe too much in public forums but is it connected with that?
Which one
The ‘on the shelf’ thread. I was just curious if that was a factor"
Yeah it's probably the main factor. Uch I'm happy with my wee life and that side of it is such a small factor. I'll just carry on being happy and hopefully that side will fall into place |
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I’m non-monogamous and kinky so I use the site to find people who I can have a sexual connection with someone that builds up over time. Also to explore the club scene. I’m really not into meeting people who are cheating on their partners though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well for me I can't do sex without at least friendship. I've kind of figured that fab isn't really the place for that so I would rather not meet than do random hook ups. My toy holds more interest in me than "cold" sex. I don't want a relationship in the slightest I just want that stage where you understand each other totally, get to know people in a vanilla sense but then have some amazing sex too where you feel comfortable enough to relax and cuddle after. I've only found that once and it's crap because he's too far away to repeat it often. |
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"Since my return to fab I have noticed an increasing number of threads from people looking for dates and searching for signifant others, either for swinging or as life partners. In my experience there were always singles on the site but it just seems to be more prevalent now more than ever.
I’m not judging how people use the site, everyone’s journey is their own and at different points we look for different things. More than anything though I’m interested to know what people’s motivation is for using fab.
"
I want a relationship, always have, but I am not USING fab to look for one, I am using fab WHILE I hope for one, to find fb/fwb meanwhile, because I refuse to go without sex any longer!
I spent a couple of years on dating sites NOT having sex outside of a potential relationship, and so I had sex 3 times in two years, utterly crap sex at that!! Sod that for a game of soldiers!
Had enough of going without sex in my marriage thanks, so I decided enough was enough!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well for me I can't do sex without at least friendship. I've kind of figured that fab isn't really the place for that so I would rather not meet than do random hook ups. My toy holds more interest in me than "cold" sex. I don't want a relationship in the slightest I just want that stage where you understand each other totally, get to know people in a vanilla sense but then have some amazing sex too where you feel comfortable enough to relax and cuddle after. I've only found that once and it's crap because he's too far away to repeat it often. "
I think that I omitted fb or fwb from my list, it’s just as valid a reason as any. There are many people who feel the same as you and need the connection before they can have sex |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Im here for sex primarily but anything else is a bonus
Anything else in terms of what?
A lady hanging her mouth from my cock as i do pull ups  "
And there I was thinking I might get an actual answer
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I came here looking for friendship. I went and caught the feels though. Now I just hang around on the forums and annoy people mostly. "
Sometimes I wonder if fab is that most fickle of places that gives you exactly what you don’t ask for at the point when you need it most... |
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Bobz here I came on here as a single guys a few years back. Was lucky enough to find the amazing Bitz and we have been together as a couple since. We only joined as a couple to explore new things together. We love the social side of fab. Every days a journey on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bobz here I came on here as a single guys a few years back. Was lucky enough to find the amazing Bitz and we have been together as a couple since. We only joined as a couple to explore new things together. We love the social side of fab. Every days a journey on here "
Love a success story! Do you live together? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came here looking for friendship. I went and caught the feels though. Now I just hang around on the forums and annoy people mostly.
Sometimes I wonder if fab is that most fickle of places that gives you exactly what you don’t ask for at the point when you need it most..."
That's the thing. I've never used a dating site. I wasn't looking for a relationship and neither was he. But it's been life changing for us both and I kinda thank fab for that, we would never have met otherwise and I'm shy, if it wasn't for the nature of the site I don't know if we'd have been so flirty or open about our sexual wants or needs, it's been a good basis so far. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I came here looking for friendship. I went and caught the feels though. Now I just hang around on the forums and annoy people mostly.
Sometimes I wonder if fab is that most fickle of places that gives you exactly what you don’t ask for at the point when you need it most...
That's the thing. I've never used a dating site. I wasn't looking for a relationship and neither was he. But it's been life changing for us both and I kinda thank fab for that, we would never have met otherwise and I'm shy, if it wasn't for the nature of the site I don't know if we'd have been so flirty or open about our sexual wants or needs, it's been a good basis so far. "
That’s lovely!
In my past guises on fab I was looking for sex and found friends, then looking for friends and found love... now I haven’t got a clue what I’m looking for! Sometimes I think that being on fab is like rubbing the magic lamp; be careful what you wish for as you just might get it!
I’m so pleased that it’s worked well for you, it’s a funny little thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab certainly knows how to throw a few curve balls. I came here looking for nothing, just to chat openly on the forums about all things sex.
But in the meantime I have explored a different side to myself I didn't know existed, saving my sanity in the process.
And one or two fantastic friends that in another life could have been much more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m mainly looking for fun with like minded men who don’t take things to seriously, I have found lately more men who like to chat with no intention of meeting I’ve heard the same about women, when ever I’m not meeting I hide my profile saves the hassle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im here for sex primarily but anything else is a bonus
Anything else in terms of what?
A lady hanging her mouth from my cock as i do pull ups
And there I was thinking I might get an actual answer
"
I did |
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