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Young dominant men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
True but do you think it’s societal expectation of the role of men and women? "
I think it's more likely that they've seen "sub" or "looking for a dom" on a lot of profiles, so they think it'll improve they're chances.
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that what it means is that they want to have rough sex and potentially abuse their partner without really understanding what the term means sexually.
I’m not saying all, but I certainly think that a lot of people get the term aggressive and dominant mixed up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
True but do you think it’s societal expectation of the role of men and women?
I think it's more likely that they've seen "sub" or "looking for a dom" on a lot of profiles, so they think it'll improve they're chances.
C"
|
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"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
True but do you think it’s societal expectation of the role of men and women?
I think it's more likely that they've seen "sub" or "looking for a dom" on a lot of profiles, so they think it'll improve they're chances.
C
"
I second this
Ss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that what it means is that they want to have rough sex and potentially abuse their partner without really understanding what the term means sexually.
I’m not saying all, but I certainly think that a lot of people get the term aggressive and dominant mixed up"
And this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm wary of any profiles that say they are dominant, I'll often question it to see their knowledge on the subject. I like people that have a natural dominance but are not necessarily dom. Or I like doms that are full within the scene and know exactly what they are talking about. I don't like the silly inbetween boys that's think they have some knowledge and think I will submit to them with a quick slap of my ass
And dominance isn't control makes me laugh when that is stated too, I may be sub but no one controls me, I may choose to surrender some aspects of control to a dominant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm wary of any profiles that say they are dominant, I'll often question it to see their knowledge on the subject. I like people that have a natural dominance but are not necessarily dom. Or I like doms that are full within the scene and know exactly what they are talking about. I don't like the silly inbetween boys that's think they have some knowledge and think I will submit to them with a quick slap of my ass
And dominance isn't control makes me laugh when that is stated too, I may be sub but no one controls me, I may choose to surrender some aspects of control to a dominant "
If anything, the sub has the power. When they say stop, it stops
C |
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Some men like to be a Dom and some Woman like to be a Domme, and it fits thier sexual personality and they are very good at it. But there is a lot more skill to it than just saying it. It’s more than rough sex it’s a way of life and true respect for each other when they are in their roles of Dom/sub. Many a sub has been ruined by novice Doms /Dommes not knowing what they are doing. |
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"I'm wary of any profiles that say they are dominant, I'll often question it to see their knowledge on the subject. I like people that have a natural dominance but are not necessarily dom. Or I like doms that are full within the scene and know exactly what they are talking about. I don't like the silly inbetween boys that's think they have some knowledge and think I will submit to them with a quick slap of my ass
And dominance isn't control makes me laugh when that is stated too, I may be sub but no one controls me, I may choose to surrender some aspects of control to a dominant
If anything, the sub has the power. When they say stop, it stops
C"
Sub always has the power of control, they may well gift a certain degree of that control to Dom of this choice, but the sub will always have the ultimate power.... so few seems to understand this!
HG
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
True but do you think it’s societal expectation of the role of men and women? "
Yes, socially men are expected to be ‘the man’ and women are expected to be ‘the woman’
Hope this helps  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that what it means is that they want to have rough sex and potentially abuse their partner without really understanding what the term means sexually.
I’m not saying all, but I certainly think that a lot of people get the term aggressive and dominant mixed up"
Yep, I totally agree with this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm wary of any profiles that say they are dominant, I'll often question it to see their knowledge on the subject. I like people that have a natural dominance but are not necessarily dom. Or I like doms that are full within the scene and know exactly what they are talking about. I don't like the silly inbetween boys that's think they have some knowledge and think I will submit to them with a quick slap of my ass
And dominance isn't control makes me laugh when that is stated too, I may be sub but no one controls me, I may choose to surrender some aspects of control to a dominant "
You’ve articulated this perfectly
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
True but do you think it’s societal expectation of the role of men and women?
Yes, socially men are expected to be ‘the man’ and women are expected to be ‘the woman’
Hope this helps "
Thanks banana man I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t posted that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think that the doms of this world will have always had the mindset needed to be that way. As with anything it needs to be refined and understood over the years. "
Yes absolutely |
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"I think that the doms of this world will have always had the mindset needed to be that way. As with anything it needs to be refined and understood over the years.
Yes absolutely "
And so few understand it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find that dom means being in control. Unless they mention bdsm then there is no aggression. I state that i like passionate sex and ive not been disappointed by any young guy yet xD
They take control of being passionate. |
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"I would say I was naturally more dominant but after years of being that way I have (at 35 funnily enough) discovered the fun that can be had from switching sometimes."
Totally agree with this. Switch things around from time to time  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Like most things in life we all have characteristics that come naturally - dominance is one of them but it can differ between relationships with different people, and I'm not just talking about sexually either - it applies equally to day to day interactions.
Some people I feel naturally submissive to, others (the majority) I consider myself on a level with and a very few I feel dominant with and even then it doesn't come totally without feeling awkward.
So to call yourself dominant generally is a bit of a misnomer for most as it may well depend on the person you're meeting as much as a sense of self.
That said there are of course people who will be naturally dominant to most but they tend to be people that don't need to label themselves as such. |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
I like dominant men.
I've met a few young men who fit that description.
That said, there are some men who think dominant means forcing themselves onto me the moment they meet.
Now, if I am expecting that, then I love that.
I remember one young chap who came round to mine.
Open the door, hellos, about to ask if he wants a drink and, well, he's straight out with it and pushing my head down.
That took me by surprise. But I went with the flow and he gave me a good seeing to.
But generally, I like to get a bit further than a hello before I'm on onto his cock.
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"I think that what it means is that they want to have rough sex and potentially abuse their partner without really understanding what the term means sexually.
I’m not saying all, but I certainly think that a lot of people get the term aggressive and dominant mixed up"
I couldnt say it better.
A lot of "dominant" guys think, the fact they use girl as a fuck toy for own needs makes them dominant. Sorry, but it makes you a prick!
On few ocasions i ended up with big bruises, healing for weeks, just because guys were agressive and way too rough.
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"I think that what it means is that they want to have rough sex and potentially abuse their partner without really understanding what the term means sexually.
I’m not saying all, but I certainly think that a lot of people get the term aggressive and dominant mixed up"
Agree with this, some men confuse dominanance with rough aggressive sex. They just want to take what they want with no consideration for the woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find for me it depends on mood and woman I'm with, some times I like to take control and others I like it relinquish it. This switch could some times happen during the same night.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol"
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think dominant men are naturally dominant. There are many older men who don't have a dominant bone in their body but like to pretend, and call themselves a Dom. They like power play, putting big things inside women and dishing out punishment; which isn't being dominant,in my book. |
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"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x"
Personally, twenty somethings claiming to be Dom doesn't work for. That said, twenty somethings claiming to be subs don't work for me either.
The ubiquitous each to their own!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
"
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x
Personally, twenty somethings claiming to be Dom doesn't work for. That said, twenty somethings claiming to be subs don't work for me either.
The ubiquitous each to their own! "
Oh absolutely I mean more genuine feelings of rather than from experience |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I find for me it depends on mood and woman I'm with, some times I like to take control and others I like it relinquish it. This switch could some times happen during the same night. "
Oooo interesting Mixed Mister |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
From my point of vièw I think dominance comes with confidence, age and experience. In the unlikely event I would meet someone in their 20's I couldn't accept him as a dominant I think, he would just be a young upstart, whether he was or not
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they’ve watched a lot of porn that involves throat and hair grabbing and think that rough pounding and a bit of arse slapping whilst telling the lady in question that she’s “a dirty cock sucking whore” makes them dominant.
They’re wrong.
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I think they’ve watched a lot of porn that involves throat and hair grabbing and think that rough pounding and a bit of arse slapping whilst telling the lady in question that she’s “a dirty cock sucking whore” makes them dominant.
They’re wrong.
"
Sounds like fun though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x
Personally, twenty somethings claiming to be Dom doesn't work for. That said, twenty somethings claiming to be subs don't work for me either.
The ubiquitous each to their own! "
I disagree I don't think Its a role I think it's something you naturally are and it's up to you if you decided to act on that. I was 21 when I was first brought into the fetish world, I had natural submissive tendencies and I met a older guy who happened to be a dom. He opened my eyes and I knew what I craved from the start. At no point did he try to coerce me into his world but gave me snippets and let me decide when I was ready to explore more. It was a fun time and probably one of the most sexually satisfying times I've ever had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think they’ve watched a lot of porn that involves throat and hair grabbing and think that rough pounding and a bit of arse slapping whilst telling the lady in question that she’s “a dirty cock sucking whore” makes them dominant.
They’re wrong.
Sounds like fun though"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x"
I think a lot of them like to think they’re dominant but in reality, they just don’t have the aura that dominance requires  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry, I'm a little confused, as a 35+ am I supposed to be dominant or submissive to attract the ladies? "
Haha this is my point if rather then be who they are naturally x |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x
Personally, twenty somethings claiming to be Dom doesn't work for. That said, twenty somethings claiming to be subs don't work for me either.
The ubiquitous each to their own! "
I was active on the bdsm scene from 18. By my early 20's I was involved and playing several times a week, including running workshops.
Someone in their early 20's can have more knowledge and understanding then someone who has just found their scene in their 40's but as others have said it's a natural air of confidence and control. Not as some men, especially on her, see it, as arrogance and rough sex.
As for men wanting to find a dominant woman, generally i find that people's sexual nature is often opposed to their working nature, those who are in high powered jobs are often submissive sexually and vice versa. Most people only start to open themselves up to different views of sexuality in their 30's and 40's when they are more self-assured, which is often why there is a seeming influx of male submissives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear..."
Most women I know who saw the film aren't interested in bondage. It was a love story first and foremost for them, with a bit of titillation thrown in. The one woman I know who read the book thought it was badly written and only read them to find out what happened to him in his past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear...
Most women I know who saw the film aren't interested in bondage. It was a love story first and foremost for them, with a bit of titillation thrown in. The one woman I know who read the book thought it was badly written and only read them to find out what happened to him in his past. "
Yes, but I was pointing out that young men don’t have to have seen the film or read the book to know it makes women moist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear...
Most women I know who saw the film aren't interested in bondage. It was a love story first and foremost for them, with a bit of titillation thrown in. The one woman I know who read the book thought it was badly written and only read them to find out what happened to him in his past.
Yes, but I was pointing out that young men don’t have to have seen the film or read the book to know it makes women moist "
Oh right. That is definitely true. I met a 22 yr old on here, before the Grey hysteria who was very handy with rope  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think they’ve watched a lot of porn that involves throat and hair grabbing and think that rough pounding and a bit of arse slapping whilst telling the lady in question that she’s “a dirty cock sucking whore” makes them dominant.
They’re wrong.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x"
Erm nope- don't really care x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
"
Very common misconception from people that haven't actually read the book or seen the film. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There’s is a huge difference between being A Dominant and being dominant.... many guys believe controlling is what makes them dominant and fail to realise that that just makes them a Bully ..... the paradox of dominance is that the control is with the sub, and the minute you need to ‘argue’ that point you know you are dealing with a bully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear...
Most women I know who saw the film aren't interested in bondage. It was a love story first and foremost for them, with a bit of titillation thrown in. The one woman I know who read the book thought it was badly written and only read them to find out what happened to him in his past. " soooo badly written!
Maybe the dynamics are different for different people but I didn’t see as much Dom in the ones I’ve seen. I’m the third I was shocked by the abuse of the safe word. And then sniggered when at the idea they are married and never used a plug ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
"
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2 |
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"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2"
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything "
No way get outta town |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything " can you get an A-level ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think 50 shades has a lot to answer for lol
Assuming young men would read a book like that or go to the cinema to watch it. There isn't much domination in the film either; it's more about his vulnerability, her refusing to succumb and their lavish lifestyle.
I’ve not read the book or seen the films but I think everyone knows enough to realise women have a Christian Grey fantasy and it involves a man being dominant with bondage gear...
Most women I know who saw the film aren't interested in bondage. It was a love story first and foremost for them, with a bit of titillation thrown in. The one woman I know who read the book thought it was badly written and only read them to find out what happened to him in his past. soooo badly written!
Maybe the dynamics are different for different people but I didn’t see as much Dom in the ones I’ve seen. I’m the third I was shocked by the abuse of the safe word. And then sniggered when at the idea they are married and never used a plug !"
I’m a woman and have no Christian Grey fantasy. Watching the film made me cringe and the only moans you heard from me was ‘as if’! A load of tosh.
I agree with many on regarding dom/sub not solely involving rough play; it’s much more subtle and is something that evolves between two people. |
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"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything can you get an A-level ? "
"Masters" degree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything can you get an A-level ? "
Night classes anyone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve noticed a lot of younger men say they are dominant on their profile. Do you think they genuinely are or it’s more an expectation? As I find a lot of 35+ really like a woman in control and exploring their submissive style.
What are you thoughts? Does anyone even care x"
I think they have seen 50 shades and thought 'I'll have a bit of that' without actually knowing what its all about..
Scary stuff indeed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree that there is confusion over dominance and bullying, not soley in the younger ones but moreso. I reckon it's something that comes with age and maturity, confidence and understanding.
Iv no idea what any off it is is there a night school class or 2
Apparently you can get a certificate and everything can you get an A-level ?
"Masters" degree "  |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"I like to switch it about, but maybe by not totally being one or the other, I could be missing something?
I guess I'll never really know, but I enjoy myself all the same.
"
How can you be missing something if you play both sides?!
Honestly switches are so much fun, being a switch is fun. It gives me an edge, having an idea about what the other person is likely to be thinking and feeling.
You stay switchy! |
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