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Stock message response
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I used to reply to all messages out of politeness but it's too much Fabmin. However I have a couple of stock messages that my phone automatically regonises;
"Thanks hun but alas we're not a match" (for the ones who've read my profile and seem decent)
"Try reading profiles you dingbat. Zero interest in unsolicited knob pics. This ain't Instashag" (for the Zombie Wanking Squad)
Do you have any?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to reply to all messages out of politeness but it's too much Fabmin. However I have a couple of stock messages that my phone automatically regonises;
"Thanks hun but alas we're not a match" (for the ones who've read my profile and seem decent)
"Try reading profiles you dingbat. Zero interest in unsolicited knob pics. This ain't Instashag" (for the Zombie Wanking Squad)
Do you have any? "
No but these are quality  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did a copy and paste reply to be nice and got stuff back like it was only a compliment I didn't ask to meet. I gave up and employed a hunky secretary whom I pay in kind to answer my messages and even he gets frustrated and deletes them sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for you query regarding sliding on Lib's shaft. I'm afraid he is not available at the moment but your message has been placed in a queue, and he will get back to you as soon as he can.
**Your place in the queue is #69**" |
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“Thankyou for the message. It is with regret that I have to inform you that your message made me roll my eyes*/You remind me of a young John Merrick/ You live 350 miles away*/I really can’t be arsed*
*Delete as applicable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My phone- shit that it is-auto completes my sentences.
I write not, and it adds, what I'm looking for sorry.
I write no, and it adds, thank you.
It's not a total cunt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“Thankyou for the message. It is with regret that I have to inform you that your message made me roll my eyes*/You remind me of a young John Merrick/ You live 350 miles away*/I really can’t be arsed*
*Delete as applicable "
Love it  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
My usual polite response for a 'no' is:
Thanks for your message but you are too far away for me.
Or thanks for your message but I'm not interested if I'm feeling slightly feisty.
Or thanks for your message but it might help to read messages before your cock takes over if its the time of the month and I'm in a mood. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
If they are ok..."Thanks for messaging, it would be lovely to meet socially but we are not meeting for the time being. Feel free to hotlist us and keep an eye on our status, it will say when and where we are next off to a club"
Or
For the meet now types... " Thanks but we only meet at clubs, we will update our status when we have plans to go next"
Or
If they just randomly 'hi wuu2'..."Thanks, I've read your profile, did you read ours? It might help if you do  "
Or finally
For the 'I love your profile you look so sexy'... "Wow! Thank you! You have made my day! It's the cup isn't it? Hot right? Cath Kidstons finest porcelain, dishwasher and microwave proof too! I know, I'm blessed..."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a decent message, my usual is "Thanks for the message, but you're not really my type sorry x" or "you're too far away".
If it's an idiot message and I'm in a mood then I'll often go with "Oh my gosh! What an attractive and engaging message! Thank you so much!!" etc etc. Amazing how often people take that at face value though Sometimes I'm quite blunt, like "Why the fuck don't twats like you read profiles" or "What the fuck about my profile made you think that I would want a semi-literate, crude crappy message and cock photo. Piss off."
If I'm in a really pissed off mood or they've been exceptionally ignorant I might lay into their profile for good measure 
I'm not always horrible. Honest Forty-nine times out of fifty I'll send a polite reply or just ignore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoy copying and pasting their exact message back to them. And then copying and pasting their response to that back to them. And so on.
Only one person is still going. I might shag him for the sheer determination.
Patience really is the key (to my foofananny). |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
If I am feeling good / generous I don't actually bother replying.
If I am feeling narky I say... "Your profile doesn't say you are Looking for TV/TS. I don't want to be your DLS (Dirty Little Secret). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never had abuse in return to a polite "No thanks", or very rarely anyway. It seems to happen frequently to others though, going by threads and posts that pop up here quite a lot. So I don't know how far you can blame stroppy refusals for guys getting rude or nasty.
Honestly, some of the messages that guys send every day. It's like walking up to someone in the pub with your cock out and saying "Hey babe wanna come out to the car park and suck me off?"
Surely it must be plain to anyone who even skims my profile that I don't like cock photos and I don't like crude one-liners, and I'm not here looking for a shag in the back of some guy's car while his wife or gf thinks he's at work.
I'm not going to feel bad if my temper gets the better of me occasionally and I tell them exactly what I think of such messages.
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I heard a good one last week, it was while we all chatting at a social & to my shame I can't remember who said it, but I've used it several times since
"Thank you for your message but after reviewing your profile, you do not meet my needs or preferences" |
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"I enjoy copying and pasting their exact message back to them. And then copying and pasting their response to that back to them. And so on.
Only one person is still going. I might shag him for the sheer determination.
Patience really is the key (to my foofananny)."
Bwahahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard a good one last week, it was while we all chatting at a social & to my shame I can't remember who said it, but I've used it several times since
"Thank you for your message but after reviewing your profile, you do not meet my needs or preferences" "
That's a good one It sounds so automated and impersonal like a job rejection. I might just change needs for requirements and my for our |
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"I heard a good one last week, it was while we all chatting at a social & to my shame I can't remember who said it, but I've used it several times since
"Thank you for your message but after reviewing your profile, you do not meet my needs or preferences"
That's a good one It sounds so automated and impersonal like a job rejection. I might just change needs for requirements and my for our "
I like your adaptions..
I've just used it, on someone 8" shorter than me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine is very simple.....
“ Thank you for your message , please send me a message when you’re in NYC “
Or
“ thank you for your message, but I don’t play on cam “
These usually results in a friend request ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard a good one last week, it was while we all chatting at a social & to my shame I can't remember who said it, but I've used it several times since
"Thank you for your message but after reviewing your profile, you do not meet my needs or preferences"
That's a good one It sounds so automated and impersonal like a job rejection. I might just change needs for requirements and my for our
I like your adaptions..
I've just used it, on someone 8" shorter than me "
I'll save it for the idiots. It will make a change from swearing at them  |
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Would be nice if there was an automatic unsolicited knob block function on here (for those who don't want to see them).
I don't mind perusing them on a profile but don't appreciate being flashed by flacid members  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would be nice if there was an automatic unsolicited knob block function on here (for those who don't want to see them).
I don't mind perusing them on a profile but don't appreciate being flashed by flacid members "
That would be fantastic. I really don't like cock photos or any other explicit genital pics tbh. Especially when you open a pm and there they are putting you right off your breakfast.
Seeing as you have to categorise photos when you upload them, it would be great if explicit pics were hidden by default even in PMs, so that you have to actively click on them to see it.
Damn I already did the survey as well. |
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