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"Lovely in real life"
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"I've no idea......but I'm the lovliest person you'll meet "Can we read your verifications?  | |||
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"I've no idea......but I'm the lovliest person you'll meet "I can quite believe it! | |||
"The one I like is "he's alright when you get to know him". Translates to me as "He's a bit of a twat but you get used to it" " Haha! This is so true. | |||
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"They obviously have inner desires that they are able to let come out online when social rules doesn't apply the same. " I just don't understand the desire to be a twat. I know we are probably all a bit different online but some people seem to adopt a "character" with the sole intention of being disruptive. Is it a case of any attention is good attention? | |||
"I am lovely in person. Once you get chatting to me. I have been told that if you didn’t know me i appear aloof and intimidating, but basically i’m just exceedingly shy and i won’t speak unless i’m spoken to as i’m shit at small talk. I find it really hard going. Online i’m not that friendly as i just don’t see the point in paying lip service to folk i’m never going to meet (forums wise etc)." Yeah I can be kinda the same. I'm shy and can be a bit awkward. I get the not paying lip service but why not be friendly? Is it really that much harder to be pleasant? I'm not aiming that at you btw, just musing. If people online are just strangers you'll never meet then why interact at all? If it means so little I mean. | |||
"I'm just as I am. Sometimes I'm a knob most of the times im nice. Same as away from fab. " I think we can all be a bit of both at times  | |||
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"I'm a twat most of the time" We know  | |||
"to me it means they're cowards and wouldn't dare say to your face what they will say from the safety and anonymity of a keyboard. We're all a bit different on the net because the written word has no tone or facial expression to enable the other person to read intent. However there's no excuse for a Jekyll and Hyde personality" That's the thing why do they need to say it? If it's "just online" then why does it matter? Why does winding someone up seem so appealing? | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time We know "£5 quid a pint! You have no shame! | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time We know " | |||
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"I'm a twat most of the time" Don't put yourself down, you seem like a nice guy. | |||
"Its a bit of a back handed compliment imo .. " Yeah and it always seems to be said in defense or an excuse for someone. It usually goes along with them being "misunderstood". | |||
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"I'm a twat most of the time Don't put yourself down, you seem like a nice guy. " He charges £5 a pint!! How’s that even close to being nice?!  | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time We know
£5 quid a pint! You have no shame! "actually at £2.80 a pint for a German 5% imported lager am pretty cheap | |||
"Is a Total Twat a Cunt? "Is it an algebra problem? | |||
"Some who display the behaviour you’re talking about OP actually think they come across as nice online. The disbelief they express when you tell them otherwise is remarkable "Yeah I can imagine it's often people with narcissistic tendencies, the "everyone else needs to lighten up" type who feel like they are the victims not the perpetrator. The rest of the world have the issues. | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time We know
£5 quid a pint! You have no shame! actually at £2.80 a pint for a German 5% imported lager am pretty cheap "That’s nice, where is your pub again? | |||
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"Is a Total Twat a Cunt?
Is it an algebra problem? " | |||
"I'm both, nice and a knob online but that's the same as real life. I'm nice the majority of the time unless something annoys me and then I'm probably a bit more bitey. But on the whole I like to make myself laugh both on here and in real life although some of the exchanges I've had on here, particularly when people have been unpleasant, then I wish the exchange was taking place face to face. " Wanna borrow my gun? | |||
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"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating "Do you also look like your pictures? | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time We know
£5 quid a pint! You have no shame! actually at £2.80 a pint for a German 5% imported lager am pretty cheap
That’s nice, where is your pub again? "way up north mate | |||
"I'm a twat most of the time" nah! | |||
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"I'm both, nice and a knob online but that's the same as real life. I'm nice the majority of the time unless something annoys me and then I'm probably a bit more bitey. But on the whole I like to make myself laugh both on here and in real life although some of the exchanges I've had on here, particularly when people have been unpleasant, then I wish the exchange was taking place face to face. Wanna borrow my gun? "Don't need weapons, I am a weapon  | |||
"I was told in real life that I appeared to be nervous. I wa surprised at that. I never thought I was. I’m not on here. " I always find it funny hearing people's opinion of you. Especially the difference between online and offline. | |||
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"I'm both, nice and a knob online but that's the same as real life. I'm nice the majority of the time unless something annoys me and then I'm probably a bit more bitey. But on the whole I like to make myself laugh both on here and in real life although some of the exchanges I've had on here, particularly when people have been unpleasant, then I wish the exchange was taking place face to face. Wanna borrow my gun?
Don't need weapons, I am a weapon "Nuclear weapons & farting aren’t allowed | |||
"I am lovely in person. Once you get chatting to me. I have been told that if you didn’t know me i appear aloof and intimidating, but basically i’m just exceedingly shy and i won’t speak unless i’m spoken to as i’m shit at small talk. I find it really hard going. Online i’m not that friendly as i just don’t see the point in paying lip service to folk i’m never going to meet (forums wise etc)." I can definitely relate to that. Not so much the intimidating thing, but I can be quite quiet with people I don’t know. Or can be quite deadpan, and people who don’t know me can miss the humour and think I’m being serious about things I’m not really. And I don’t like small talk, especially with people I’ll likely never see again. It’s not so much that I’m an introvert, I just don’t like making small talk. | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. " Also in real life I don't hang around long enough to chat to those who say twatish things | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. " You said, you will put cherry up your vagina? | |||
"Is a Total Twat a Cunt? "I think there's a sliding scale | |||
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"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating
Do you also look like your pictures? "No, I’m actually a 77 year-old Mexican man called Juan. | |||
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"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating
Do you also look like your pictures?
No, I’m actually a 77 year-old Mexican man called Juan. "I'd still do you ! | |||
"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating
Do you also look like your pictures?
No, I’m actually a 77 year-old Mexican man called Juan. "Do you know how to cook paella Juan? | |||
"I'm not lovely in real life either" This just made me wonder if it works in reverse too? The nice people are twats in real life?!? | |||
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"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. Also in real life I don't hang around long enough to chat to those who say twatish things"
I think people can also be quick to make a judgement - so whatever you type subsequently will be ignored or forgotten unless it fits into their particular view point of you. If you read a few posts of someone you're only going to get a snapshot of them; how they are feeling at that time etc.
Maybe when you actually meet them it's a more fleshed out introduction to them? | |||
"The one I like is "he's alright when you get to know him". Translates to me as "He's a bit of a twat but you get used to it" "  | |||
"I'm no different in how I discuss in person than I am on here, but people reading my words might be putting a different intonation on them than if I were speaking. They might think I'm annoyed or hurt, when I'm not. " I’ve the same problem, how do you overcome this issue? | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness?" Well I must be the nicest guy a live then if that true  | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. You said, you will put cherry up your vagina? " I might actually say that in person. | |||
"I'm both, nice and a knob online but that's the same as real life. I'm nice the majority of the time unless something annoys me and then I'm probably a bit more bitey. But on the whole I like to make myself laugh both on here and in real life although some of the exchanges I've had on here, particularly when people have been unpleasant, then I wish the exchange was taking place face to face. " Doyou think the things you bite over would be the same in real life or online? | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness?" Deren brown did a show where he had a hundred masked audience members, and they all had vote buttons. The idea was that a guy was getting secretly filmed throughout his day, and the audience got to choose what happens next, something good or something bad. Slowly the bad options get worse and worse, and the audience keeps picking the bad option. Eventually there is a choice where he is to "get bundled in the back of a van". Of course the audience chooses the latter. The guy runs up the street to escape, and gets hit by a car. The whole thing was a setup, bar the guy for the most part. What he went though was him, and he had no idea what was really going on. The idea of the experiment was to show how people will choose the bad option when they can do so anonymous. This is what happens a lot now, with cyber bullying, and such. It's easier to do it when nobody knows who it is that is doing it. This could be the same for people who appear twats online; they feel the freedom of not being able to say and do the things they want to in real life, so they end up doing it online, behind a veil, so to speak | |||
"I'm as nice in real life as I am on here. Take that as a positive or negative "No comment | |||
"I'm no different in how I discuss in person than I am on here, but people reading my words might be putting a different intonation on them than if I were speaking. They might think I'm annoyed or hurt, when I'm not. I’ve the same problem, how do you overcome this issue? " I put little smiley faces after my posts | |||
"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating "But so lovely with it | |||
"I'm no different in how I discuss in person than I am on here, but people reading my words might be putting a different intonation on them than if I were speaking. They might think I'm annoyed or hurt, when I'm not. I’ve the same problem, how do you overcome this issue? I put little smiley faces after my posts "Ok | |||
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"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Deren brown did a show where he had a hundred masked audience members, and they all had vote buttons. The idea was that a guy was getting secretly filmed throughout his day, and the audience got to choose what happens next, something good or something bad. Slowly the bad options get worse and worse, and the audience keeps picking the bad option. Eventually there is a choice where he is to "get bundled in the back of a van". Of course the audience chooses the latter. The guy runs up the street to escape, and gets hit by a car. The whole thing was a setup, bar the guy for the most part. What he went though was him, and he had no idea what was really going on. The idea of the experiment was to show how people will choose the bad option when they can do so anonymous. This is what happens a lot now, with cyber bullying, and such. It's easier to do it when nobody knows who it is that is doing it. This could be the same for people who appear twats online; they feel the freedom of not being able to say and do the things they want to in real life, so they end up doing it online, behind a veil, so to speak" | |||
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"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. Also in real life I don't hang around long enough to chat to those who say twatish things
I think people can also be quick to make a judgement - so whatever you type subsequently will be ignored or forgotten unless it fits into their particular view point of you. If you read a few posts of someone you're only going to get a snapshot of them; how they are feeling at that time etc.
Maybe when you actually meet them it's a more fleshed out introduction to them? "I'm also a lazy typist (and my eyes blur when I look at my phone for too long), so I try to keep things short and to the point. | |||
"I genuinely think I’m exactly the same in person as in here. Less funny than I think and mildly irritating
Do you also look like your pictures?
No, I’m actually a 77 year-old Mexican man called Juan.
I'd still do you ! "Muchas gracias | |||
"I think I come across as a twat online (on social media and forums). And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I only use those places when I feel like I can add a different slant to a conversation or if I disagree. It feels pointless to write anything if it’s just agreeing and regurgitating what others have said. So if I’m in a good mood I don’t write, I just read. Though of course that makes me appear as if I’m being a dick every time I do write." Yeah I can relate to that. There are certain threads I don't contribute to one day but if I'm feeling a bit disgruntled the next I might leave a wee sarky comment. | |||
"I have been told before that this exact phrase has been used about me, several times in the past. I’ve only been on Fab since February, but I’ve been using Internet forums and discussion groups for 28 years. I’m well aware that my posting style rubs people up the wrong way. I do not set out to be a twat, I certainly don’t say anything that I wouldn’t say to somebody’s face; there is no Jeckyl & Hyde. The main issue is that of tone. It’s frustrating that, even though I can write clearly and get my point across, I can’t find a way of communicating my tone. I have had people suggest that I use more emojis. That just makes me look like a child or someone with a brain injury. Not my style at all." Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive? | |||
"'Miserable being must find more miserable being. Then is happy' 1955 - Lady and the Tramp " So we need to start pairing them up | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Deren brown did a show where he had a hundred masked audience members, and they all had vote buttons. The idea was that a guy was getting secretly filmed throughout his day, and the audience got to choose what happens next, something good or something bad. Slowly the bad options get worse and worse, and the audience keeps picking the bad option. Eventually there is a choice where he is to "get bundled in the back of a van". Of course the audience chooses the latter. The guy runs up the street to escape, and gets hit by a car. The whole thing was a setup, bar the guy for the most part. What he went though was him, and he had no idea what was really going on. The idea of the experiment was to show how people will choose the bad option when they can do so anonymous. This is what happens a lot now, with cyber bullying, and such. It's easier to do it when nobody knows who it is that is doing it. This could be the same for people who appear twats online; they feel the freedom of not being able to say and do the things they want to in real life, so they end up doing it online, behind a veil, so to speak" That's sad. 
Can you remember what the show was called? | |||
"I've no idea......but I'm the lovliest person you'll meet "Me too. Your mums would love me. | |||
"Agree with you OP..far more pleasant to be civil and courteous to people. Actions in public are far more scrutinised for obvious reasons, but online people know they can hide behind the relative anonymity. Sad really. Like I've read in numerous threads though, the positive I take out of that is it's a good sifting process of the good and bad.. "There is always that! | |||
"I’m lovely everywhere "all over? | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. " That's true and also conversations arent usually open to so many voices, being heard is important to some people. | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Well I must be the nicest guy a live then if that true "Sorry dude but you look like the picture of a dead person every time your profile avatar appears | |||
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"I am lovely in person. Once you get chatting to me. I have been told that if you didn’t know me i appear aloof and intimidating, but basically i’m just exceedingly shy and i won’t speak unless i’m spoken to as i’m shit at small talk. I find it really hard going. Online i’m not that friendly as i just don’t see the point in paying lip service to folk i’m never going to meet (forums wise etc). I can definitely relate to that. Not so much the intimidating thing, but I can be quite quiet with people I don’t know. Or can be quite deadpan, and people who don’t know me can miss the humour and think I’m being serious about things I’m not really. And I don’t like small talk, especially with people I’ll likely never see again. It’s not so much that I’m an introvert, I just don’t like making small talk." Definitely humour plays a part. I know myself I've written something I thought was tongue in cheek but got totally misinterpreted. | |||
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"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Deren brown did a show where he had a hundred masked audience members, and they all had vote buttons. The idea was that a guy was getting secretly filmed throughout his day, and the audience got to choose what happens next, something good or something bad. Slowly the bad options get worse and worse, and the audience keeps picking the bad option. Eventually there is a choice where he is to "get bundled in the back of a van". Of course the audience chooses the latter. The guy runs up the street to escape, and gets hit by a car. The whole thing was a setup, bar the guy for the most part. What he went though was him, and he had no idea what was really going on. The idea of the experiment was to show how people will choose the bad option when they can do so anonymous. This is what happens a lot now, with cyber bullying, and such. It's easier to do it when nobody knows who it is that is doing it. This could be the same for people who appear twats online; they feel the freedom of not being able to say and do the things they want to in real life, so they end up doing it online, behind a veil, so to speak That's sad.
Can you remember what the show was called? "I forgot to mention that the accident was staged and they made it so there was a flip to a prerecorded clip of a stuntman. The show was called "the experiments" | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. Also in real life I don't hang around long enough to chat to those who say twatish things" yeah it's easier to walk away in real life! | |||
"I try and stay nice and polite in both online world and the real world. But sometimes I think im too nice on fab for some. I like to treat people as I wish to be treated "Can you ever be too nice? | |||
"Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive?" As I am the target of the joke, I don’t see the problem. | |||
""Apparently" Im not the same as i am on the forums. Im exactly the same as i am in pm and other messaging. I dont think im a twat but i dont hold back. I just say things as i see them and with only seeing words i believe i can come across as blunt" That's the thing there's a difference between joining in and being blunt and going out of your way to be rude and disruptive. You can express an opinion and are more than entitled to. | |||
"Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive? As I am the target of the joke, I don’t see the problem." Likening a person who uses emojis (albeit yourself) to a child-insinuating they are childish-or someone with a brain tumour isn't offensive? | |||
"Although my thoughts and beliefs are the same, I'm slightly different in person than I am on here in that I probably come across as quiet and introverted - which is usually just me finding it uncomfortable in a situation with people I've not met before and needing to grow accustomed before I can relax but as my profile says once you pry me out of my box, you'll wish you could put me back in it!! On-line I find a combination of the relative anonymity and also the breathing space that allows you time to think how to respond means I'm more comfortable sooner. All of the above is sub-conscious though and not something I do deliberately - although I think there are those that do create an on-line persona for themselves or who deliberately project something different from their "in person" self for a variety of reasons and not always the best ones." I totally agree with this. I can take time to think of my replies here and I don't feel pressure to join in so when I do I'm relaxed and not shy. My online persona is different and I'm aware of it although it's not intentional. | |||
"I'm no different in how I discuss in person than I am on here, but people reading my words might be putting a different intonation on them than if I were speaking. They might think I'm annoyed or hurt, when I'm not. " Yeah it definitely makes a difference. I can be quite cheeky at times, in real life it's delivered with a smiling face, online it stands alone and is open to interpretation. | |||
"I think the subjects that come up online are not ones we would necessarily hear in the real world. Also in real life I don't hang around long enough to chat to those who say twatish things
I think people can also be quick to make a judgement - so whatever you type subsequently will be ignored or forgotten unless it fits into their particular view point of you. If you read a few posts of someone you're only going to get a snapshot of them; how they are feeling at that time etc.
Maybe when you actually meet them it's a more fleshed out introduction to them? "I think also in real life people are much more likely to want to be liked. They don't see those online as actual people, they are just "targets" whereas there are thankfully few people in real life who act that way. | |||
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"I'm the same on line as i am of line "That’s a great line _eeside! | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Well I must be the nicest guy a live then if that true " | |||
"Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive? As I am the target of the joke, I don’t see the problem. Likening a person who uses emojis (albeit yourself) to a child-insinuating they are childish-or someone with a brain tumour isn't offensive?" Have I, at any point, said that it’s inoffensive? | |||
"I'm the same on line as i am of line
That’s a great line _eeside! "It's also the truth | |||
"I hear this a lot. People who come across as aggressive or petty or generally twattish online are often the "nicest people" offline. I wonder why that is? I understand the anonymity of being online lets people express themselves differently but why would they want to? Do they get ignored in the outside world and crave attention? Why is trolling or disrupting appealing? Also, with regards to fab, it's a place to meet people so why would you not want people to see the "nice" person they'd be meeting offline? Is it a defense mechanism? Put them off so they don't want to meet and then stay hidden in your house and shyness? Deren brown did a show where he had a hundred masked audience members, and they all had vote buttons. The idea was that a guy was getting secretly filmed throughout his day, and the audience got to choose what happens next, something good or something bad. Slowly the bad options get worse and worse, and the audience keeps picking the bad option. Eventually there is a choice where he is to "get bundled in the back of a van". Of course the audience chooses the latter. The guy runs up the street to escape, and gets hit by a car. The whole thing was a setup, bar the guy for the most part. What he went though was him, and he had no idea what was really going on. The idea of the experiment was to show how people will choose the bad option when they can do so anonymous. This is what happens a lot now, with cyber bullying, and such. It's easier to do it when nobody knows who it is that is doing it. This could be the same for people who appear twats online; they feel the freedom of not being able to say and do the things they want to in real life, so they end up doing it online, behind a veil, so to speak" Yeah I remember seeing that. I guess a lot of that is to do with pack mentality. When it comes to reactions there is generally 2 camps, the embrace and encourage or the stand up against them. Either can be negative as the person thrives on any attention so it's often a snowball effect where negativity breeds negativity and the issue is escalated as the person feels like they are growing in power. | |||
"I have been told before that this exact phrase has been used about me, several times in the past. I’ve only been on Fab since February, but I’ve been using Internet forums and discussion groups for 28 years. I’m well aware that my posting style rubs people up the wrong way. I do not set out to be a twat, I certainly don’t say anything that I wouldn’t say to somebody’s face; there is no Jeckyl & Hyde. The main issue is that of tone. It’s frustrating that, even though I can write clearly and get my point across, I can’t find a way of communicating my tone. I have had people suggest that I use more emojis. That just makes me look like a child or someone with a brain injury. Not my style at all." The thing is it's not intentional and you own it. You're expressing your view and joining in a discussion in your own way. You can't control how people interpret that. It's the people who intentionally try to be disruptive I don't understand. | |||
"I think when you read something you can take it the wrong way not the way the person wrote it. So you misinterpret things. " Yeah this definitely happens. There is no tone or expression. | |||
"I've no idea......but I'm the lovliest person you'll meet
Me too. Your mums would love me. "I'll pass on your details, watch put for my dad though! | |||
"Depends how people treat me depends on me being a twat or not" That's the thing, if it's a reaction it's understandable but to do it for the sake of it isn't. | |||
"As I have no idea maybe more alcohol before the match will help "I'll have a long vodka! I'mnot watching the match though! | |||
You can be made to feel like it’s not right to be nice, like there’s something wrong with you, like you’re being false. It’s really not a crime to be a nice person! People will always have opinions but I will stay true to myself irrespective of what I see or hear elsewhere. | |||
"One of the biggest differences online as opposed to the real world is how things ate perceived. I love a dry sarcastic sense of humour...ok warped even! Ha. Now there will be some that take it how it's meant by a poster and others will be like 'What do they mean by that!' Some, rightly or wrongly (and we're all different) are more sensitive than others. " Yeah but those people use that to their advantage. Intentionally saying things to rile people then using the excuse it was just a joke, passing the blame to the other person for misinterpreting them. | |||
"That’s me to a tee. Patience of a gnat and totally irritated online but such a pussycat in ‘reality’.... cough " | |||
"I suppose the question is..... In red life, are they actually 'Nice' or Passive? Maybe they have a false sense of bravery and therefore act aggressively with the security of being not face to face. " I know of someone who attended a social with a few of my friends and they were shocked by how shy and reclusive the person was where online they come across as quite aggressive and intrusive. It's hard to tell which is the true them. | |||
"I'm the same on line as i am of line "Awesome? | |||
"I'm not lovely in real life either This just made me wonder if it works in reverse too? The nice people are twats in real life?!?" I don’t believe they would be, although how does one define a ‘nice’ or ‘twat’ person, it’s all relative isn’t it? (This is me musing) | |||
"I am lovely, everyone tells me so and I feel that I am so yes. I can put my point across on here if need be and I can do it without being offensive or rude -like a grown up should be able to do. It appears to me that the folk that are very opinionated, forceful or controversial get noticed on a thread. I find it bizarre that some almost boast about the way they are. They will say ‘I will say what I want, I don’t care what people say, I don’t care what people think, I’m not bothered if it offends, people shouldn’t be here if they can’t take it’ etc. I wouldn’t ever want to be that way. Interestingly though, it’s not unusual for the same people to comment on other threads telling others that they should think about how their comments makes others feel. The Fab double standard
You can be made to feel like it’s not right to be nice, like there’s something wrong with you, like you’re being false. It’s really not a crime to be a nice person! People will always have opinions but I will stay true to myself irrespective of what I see or hear elsewhere. "That's exactly how I feel. I pride myself on being fair and treating people how I would want to be treated. It doesn't make me a weak person and I can hold my own when I need to, I just don't see the need to all the time. To me it's better to be part of something inclusive and to join in as an equal and enjoy the conversation and difference of opinions, I don't need to agree with them. | |||
"I've no idea......but I'm the lovliest person you'll meet
Me too. Your mums would love me.
I'll pass on your details, watch put for my dad though! "Mmm, better just have yours then  | |||
"I'm not lovely in real life either This just made me wonder if it works in reverse too? The nice people are twats in real life?!? I don’t believe they would be, although how does one define a ‘nice’ or ‘twat’ person, it’s all relative isn’t it? (This is me musing) " That's true too. Even the people online I interpret to be twats have friends so they must like them! | |||
"I suppose the question is..... In red life, are they actually 'Nice' or Passive? Maybe they have a false sense of bravery and therefore act aggressively with the security of being not face to face. I know of someone who attended a social with a few of my friends and they were shocked by how shy and reclusive the person was where online they come across as quite aggressive and intrusive. It's hard to tell which is the true them. " That would kind of describe me. In a social situation where everyone knows each other I prefer to people watch. Some people think I'm aggressive on here and said I was different when we met. | |||
"Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive? As I am the target of the joke, I don’t see the problem. Likening a person who uses emojis (albeit yourself) to a child-insinuating they are childish-or someone with a brain tumour isn't offensive? Have I, at any point, said that it’s inoffensive?" We'll leave it there. | |||
"Can you not see that your penultimate sentence is offensive? As I am the target of the joke, I don’t see the problem. Likening a person who uses emojis (albeit yourself) to a child-insinuating they are childish-or someone with a brain tumour isn't offensive? Have I, at any point, said that it’s inoffensive?" No, you haven’t. However, can you not (and I know you can) see how those that use emojis could feel belittled by that comment - that interaction with you will consist of you viewing them as a child, and your non-use of emojis almost a badge of superiory, and how anyone with or who knows or cares for someone with a brain injury would find your choice of their personal struggle/s as a punchline in your self-deprecating joke callous and hurtful? It makes you come across as an uncaring and unempathetic prick, which I know you not to be. I think it’s a defence mechanism. And a smidgeon of ego. | |||
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"Hello I’m Tom" Hello Tom! You can start an introductory thread in the relevant forum on here (Introductions). Generally the Opening Post will outline discussion points unless it's a free for all. Try and post in response to that OP and people are more likely to interact with you and in a positive manner. I hope you enjoy the forum! | |||
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"No, you haven’t. However, can you not (and I know you can) see how those that use emojis could feel belittled by that comment - that interaction with you will consist of you viewing them as a child, and your non-use of emojis almost a badge of superiority..." I said that if I use emojis, it makes me look like that. Not that anyone using emojis looks like that. It’s a crucial difference. I’m not attacking the use of emojis. I’m belittling my own use of them. "...and how anyone with or who knows or cares for someone with a brain injury would find your choice of their personal struggle/s as a punchline in your self-deprecating joke callous and hurtful?" Yes. Indeed, someone in that exact position messaged me about it. I’ll say the same thing here as I said to them; there are things that they joke about that others would find offensive. There are few things in life I won’t joke about, but that’s not the same as joking at the expense of anything. "It makes you come across as an uncaring and unempathetic prick, which I know you not to be." That’s unfortunate. Out of interest (but please don’t think I’m comparing myself to professional comedians) do you think that Frankie Boyle is a prick if he jokes about paedophilia, or Jimmy Carr is a prick if he jokes about cancer? "I think it’s a defence mechanism. And a smidgeon of ego." Fair enough. I thought it was just a joke about me looking stupid. | |||
"No, you haven’t. However, can you not (and I know you can) see how those that use emojis could feel belittled by that comment - that interaction with you will consist of you viewing them as a child, and your non-use of emojis almost a badge of superiority... I said that if I use emojis, it makes me look like that. Not that anyone using emojis looks like that. It’s a crucial difference. I’m not attacking the use of emojis. I’m belittling my own use of them. " Which is why I said “could”. And I was explaining, given you had said you didn’t see the problem in response to Syb, what the problem could be. I did know you would know what the problem was though, as you’re not stupid or uncaring in reality, but I wanted you to demonstrate that you knew this. Or to digest it for future in the rarest of possibilities that you hadn’t. Some lovely people may miss the opportunity to get to know you, and that would be a shame. " ...and how anyone with or who knows or cares for someone with a brain injury would find your choice of their personal struggle/s as a punchline in your self-deprecating joke callous and hurtful? Yes. Indeed, someone in that exact position messaged me about it. I’ll say the same thing here as I said to them; there are things that they joke about that others would find offensive. There are few things in life I won’t joke about, but that’s not the same as joking at the expense of anything. " I also understand this point and the nuance; not everyone does or will, and sometimes it can be hard for people to see the difference in intent. Again, I was just clarifying because when you do explain further, people learn more about you. And perhaps can have the opportunity to see you anew. Humour is a minefield area, however. And I fall down squarely on both sides on this point. It’s an area of conflict for me, given the next reply you’ve made (and I was about to cite professional comedians to make my dilemma clear, but you’re there already...so I’ll jump down and continue there. " It makes you come across as an uncaring and unempathetic prick, which I know you not to be. That’s unfortunate. Out of interest (but please don’t think I’m comparing myself to professional comedians) do you think that Frankie Boyle is a prick if he jokes about paedophilia, or Jimmy Carr is a prick if he jokes about cancer? " Yes. But I also find them both funny. Terribly so. And I get the point you’re making, wholeheartedly. I have a real tension here and I don’t know that I have the ability to do justice in articulating it, forgive me I was on the phone to a hot guy till 3am and have just got in from a day’s work so I might park this response subsection and return to it in a full thread later, I’d be really interested to hear your and others opinion on it. But I concede your point, yet was simply explaining how one can get to the conclusion that you’re a prick (I know you’re not and that the extrapolation is not absolute). Hell, I thought you were for such a long time. My ego and what I hold important has been shaken by you, purely because you failed to add some ‘softeners’ in your language to help me relate to you. Perhaps it demonstrates my lack of intelligence, I do believe that communication involves that last little leap of faith by both people to really work though. " I think it’s a defence mechanism. And a smidgeon of ego. Fair enough. I thought it was just a joke about me looking stupid." I meant your tendency to not provide (I have no real phrase for this) ‘softeners’ to enable others to assuage the alarm bells that could commonly be set off by your matter of factness and your humour. However, I’m likely projecting my own fear of communication pitfalls, and need to be liked. Hell, I’m pretty convinced that’s exactly what I’m doing. | |||
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"Dunno im always a twat "Maybe not always, normally just most of the time | |||
"Nice guys finish last " Word. Learn from this guy people, I’m serious | |||
"Nice guys finish last " that is the biggest load of bollocks saying and also offensive. So women only meet non nice guys is what your saying. | |||
"Nice guys finish last that is the biggest load of bollocks saying and also offensive. So women only meet non nice guys is what your saying." defo that's why so many yas get fucked over by lads | |||
"Nice guys finish last that is the biggest load of bollocks saying and also offensive. So women only meet non nice guys is what your saying. defo that's why so many yas get fucked over by lads "well thats very "nice" comment. | |||
"Which is why I said “could”. And I was explaining, given you had said you didn’t see the problem in response to Syb, what the problem could be. I did know you would know what the problem was though, as you’re not stupid or uncaring in reality, but I wanted you to demonstrate that you knew this. Or to digest it for future in the rarest of possibilities that you hadn’t. Some lovely people may miss the opportunity to get to know you, and that would be a shame. I also understand this point and the nuance; not everyone does or will, and sometimes it can be hard for people to see the difference in intent. Again, I was just clarifying because when you do explain further, people learn more about you. And perhaps can have the opportunity to see you anew. Humour is a minefield area, however. And I fall down squarely on both sides on this point. It’s an area of conflict for me, given the next reply you’ve made (and I was about to cite professional comedians to make my dilemma clear, but you’re there already...so I’ll jump down and continue there. Yes. But I also find them both funny. Terribly so. And I get the point you’re making, wholeheartedly. I have a real tension here and I don’t know that I have the ability to do justice in articulating it, forgive me I was on the phone to a hot guy till 3am and have just got in from a day’s work so I might park this response subsection and return to it in a full thread later, I’d be really interested to hear your and others opinion on it. But I concede your point, yet was simply explaining how one can get to the conclusion that you’re a prick (I know you’re not and that the extrapolation is not absolute). Hell, I thought you were for such a long time. My ego and what I hold important has been shaken by you, purely because you failed to add some ‘softeners’ in your language to help me relate to you. Perhaps it demonstrates my lack of intelligence, I do believe that communication involves that last little leap of faith by both people to really work though. I meant your tendency to not provide (I have no real phrase for this) ‘softeners’ to enable others to assuage the alarm bells that could commonly be set off by your matter of factness and your humour. However, I’m likely projecting my own fear of communication pitfalls, and need to be liked. Hell, I’m pretty convinced that’s exactly what I’m doing. " Well, there’s not much I can say to that. I think you maybe called me an uncunny funt somewhere in the middle, but I’ll take that hit.
Don’t stay up late on school nights, it’s irresponsible. | |||
" Well, there’s not much I can say to that. I think you maybe called me an uncunny funt somewhere in the middle, but I’ll take that hit.
Don’t stay up late on school nights, it’s irresponsible."If I did, then on reflection I must take it back, you have made me snort with laughter on many an occasion. I’ve been told I shan’t have the opportunity to tonight, he’s cut me off. I’m raging. Still, he’s right to. | |||
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"He sounds like a fool." So do you | |||
"He sounds like a fool. So do you "The best thing about this is that you don’t understand why you’re right. | |||
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"That heartsinking moment when a man hears a woman he finds attractive describe him as 'nice to talk to'. Meaning 'I wouldn't fuck him if he was the last breathing ape on earth but I don't mind if he gets me something from the cake trolley'." My best friend, and on reflection I have no idea why I call him that, often reminds of the frequently heard phrase; "Sting, you're a really nice guy, but........." | |||
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"I'm a twat on here, twat in real life. No time for sickly sweet nonsense" You’re a fan-freaking-tastic twat in real life.  | |||
"I'm a twat on here, twat in real life. No time for sickly sweet nonsense You’re a fan-freaking-tastic twat in real life. "Aaah shush | |||
"I'm a twat on here, twat in real life. No time for sickly sweet nonsense You’re a fan-freaking-tastic twat in real life.
Aaah shush "*giggles* | |||
"to me it means they're cowards and wouldn't dare say to your face what they will say from the safety and anonymity of a keyboard. We're all a bit different on the net because the written word has no tone or facial expression to enable the other person to read intent. However there's no excuse for a Jekyll and Hyde personality" | |||
