FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ghosting
Ghosting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed  . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't ghost anyone except #youknowwhoyouare
Please return my calls!
You would need to call me first ! Liar ! "
I’ve sent you 28 friend requests on Facebook this week too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't ghost anyone except #youknowwhoyouare
Please return my calls!
You would need to call me first ! Liar !
I’ve sent you 28 friend requests on Facebook this week too."
Funny as I don't have facebook ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed . "
What’s breadcrumbing?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed .
What’s breadcrumbing?! "
Wherby they message you just enough to keep you there, but are secretly putting you on the 'just in case' pile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed .
What’s breadcrumbing?!
Wherby they message you just enough to keep you there, but are secretly putting you on the 'just in case' pile "
Oh god! I think I’ve had that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed .
What’s breadcrumbing?!
Wherby they message you just enough to keep you there, but are secretly putting you on the 'just in case' pile
Oh god! I think I’ve had that "
That one is pretty shitty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore? "
Yep. Ghosted multiple times, on multiple sites. It's something that gets old, quick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't ghost anyone except #youknowwhoyouare
Please return my calls!
You would need to call me first ! Liar !
I’ve sent you 28 friend requests on Facebook this week too.
Funny as I don't have facebook ! "
I created a Facebook account and used your pics, I’m sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely if your being breadcrumbed its up to you to stop replying. As for ghosting maybe they think the person will kick off"
When you realise it's happening, i think most do stop replying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely if your being breadcrumbed its up to you to stop replying. As for ghosting maybe they think the person will kick off"
I think it's hard to know it's happening though because you get to a point where you think fuck them but then they put loads of effort in to keep you interested again so you start to think it's just you being paranoid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some conversations tail off. Some stop and start. Sometimes, after meeting someone a few times they go quiet. We all have lives and I don't expect anyone to stay in contact, but, if they disappear then pop up ages later, I might not be so enthusiastic about seeing them. |
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"On here, if it's just casual talking, it does taper off if i miss a message. In regards to actively being involved though, I'm pretty up front In telling someone, I'm no longer interested. I've not really been ghosted, but have definitely been breadcrumbed .
What’s breadcrumbing?!
Wherby they message you just enough to keep you there, but are secretly putting you on the 'just in case' pile "
And this actually.
I think I need to do some unfriending, and get handy with the block button! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore? "
and i thought you meant when you are giving it a woman doggy style by the window then your mate sneaks in and you pretend to adjust yourself but you swap then you sneak out and stand infront of the window and waved at the woman who now thinks she is being shagged by a ghost  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do. "
I am with you. The lack of respect is what annoys me most. Especially, when the same people will tell you off for doing the same treatment to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got ghosted twice last year by my former long term FWB. In the end I told him to get out of my life.
I ghosted my new FWB for about 6 weeks earlier this year. I had my reasons for doing so though. XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do.
I am with you. The lack of respect is what annoys me most. Especially, when the same people will tell you off for doing the same treatment to them. "
You sound serious, are you feeling okay habibi? |
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do. "
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got ghosted twice last year by my former long term FWB. In the end I told him to get out of my life.
I ghosted my new FWB for about 6 weeks earlier this year. I had my reasons for doing so though. XXX"
Yeah, it’s fine if you do it  |
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do. "
It’s horrible when it’s someone you.
It happened to me a couple of times with same guy last year. We had met up quite a few times, talked lots and had a nice wee thing going. Had a couple of meets planned, had a nice hotel booked (which I had paid for and he was going to give me half), had messaged that morning and then just didn’t turn up, deleted Kik and Fab and no contact.
Then 2 months later message out of the blue, full of apologies, and then did exactly the same thing again.
I felt humiliated actually. It was a bitter pill to swallow that . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do.
I am with you. The lack of respect is what annoys me most. Especially, when the same people will tell you off for doing the same treatment to them. "
Exactly. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do.
I am with you. The lack of respect is what annoys me most. Especially, when the same people will tell you off for doing the same treatment to them.
Exactly. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I know a guy on here that does a lot of ghosting!!!  "
I always reply to any messages I get. Except the ones asking me to make love to my lovely belly button |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!
Ah, now this definitely applies.....!"
We call this Zombieing in the states. It’s when a person raises from the dead...
I don’t believe online chatting is ghosting. Ghosting is usually after you met someone a few times and they go quiet...
Ghosting happens unfortunately because people start to get feelings. It’s hard to tell someone you like having sex with you don’t want more from them....
I think it’s more cruel to say “ You are great to have sex with , but I don’t want to date you “ |
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"Yes I know a guy on here that does a lot of ghosting!!!
I always reply to any messages I get. Except the ones asking me to make love to my lovely belly button "
I always reply to messages even if it's only to say thanks but not interested....no need for rudeness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!"
I have lots of chats going with different people that can be picked up and down with weeks in between. Is this a bad thing or just a natural way to chat and keep friendships going. I dont dissapear to the bottom of the sea though usually floating about on top. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At an all time high, I've just been ghosted by someone I considered a friend and to further compound my delight I've just been stood up by someone else.. Yeah go me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At an all time high, I've just been ghosted by someone I considered a friend and to further compound my delight I've just been stood up by someone else.. Yeah go me!"
it happens to the best of us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore? "
Yes. I’d never experienced it before. Then a chap I *really* liked did it to me. Never saw it coming. Then he came back just when I was coming to terms with it all and had moved on, and carefully unpicked what had happened, provided a legitimate (or so I thought) explanation, and worked intensively to rekindle and substantially build on things. It worked. And then, suddenly, at the bizarrest of moments he did it again. The situation actually made me rather unwell.
I’d urge anyone, a “fuck off you’re fugly” text is infinitely easier to process than a vanishing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been ghosted and it’s not nice, I prefer the honest, brutal approach from a guy. I’ve either been honest to people myself or I let it fade but if they ask me I tell the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
Yes. I’d never experienced it before. Then a chap I *really* liked did it to me. Never saw it coming. Then he came back just when I was coming to terms with it all and had moved on, and carefully unpicked what had happened, provided a legitimate (or so I thought) explanation, and worked intensively to rekindle and substantially build on things. It worked. And then, suddenly, at the bizarrest of moments he did it again. The situation actually made me rather unwell.
I’d urge anyone, a “fuck off you’re fugly” text is infinitely easier to process than a vanishing. "
Did he ever come back after the second time? He is clearly the one with issues, not you. You need to believe that. What he did was way beyond fucking cuntish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
Yes. I’d never experienced it before. Then a chap I *really* liked did it to me. Never saw it coming. Then he came back just when I was coming to terms with it all and had moved on, and carefully unpicked what had happened, provided a legitimate (or so I thought) explanation, and worked intensively to rekindle and substantially build on things. It worked. And then, suddenly, at the bizarrest of moments he did it again. The situation actually made me rather unwell.
I’d urge anyone, a “fuck off you’re fugly” text is infinitely easier to process than a vanishing.
Did he ever come back after the second time? He is clearly the one with issues, not you. You need to believe that. What he did was way beyond fucking cuntish. "
No, not to date. I have knowledge that he is alive though. So I understand him now to simply be a liar, and have closure on worrying about him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
Yes. I’d never experienced it before. Then a chap I *really* liked did it to me. Never saw it coming. Then he came back just when I was coming to terms with it all and had moved on, and carefully unpicked what had happened, provided a legitimate (or so I thought) explanation, and worked intensively to rekindle and substantially build on things. It worked. And then, suddenly, at the bizarrest of moments he did it again. The situation actually made me rather unwell.
I’d urge anyone, a “fuck off you’re fugly” text is infinitely easier to process than a vanishing.
Did he ever come back after the second time? He is clearly the one with issues, not you. You need to believe that. What he did was way beyond fucking cuntish.
No, not to date. I have knowledge that he is alive though. So I understand him now to simply be a liar, and have closure on worrying about him. "
It’s left me very disconcerted about people’s intentions. I had always been an optimist in trusting people before him. That’s the damaging part, and sadly I think I’m polluting new situations with frequent panic attacks at the legitimacy of someone’s intent towards me. It all feels intensely shameful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
Yes. I’d never experienced it before. Then a chap I *really* liked did it to me. Never saw it coming. Then he came back just when I was coming to terms with it all and had moved on, and carefully unpicked what had happened, provided a legitimate (or so I thought) explanation, and worked intensively to rekindle and substantially build on things. It worked. And then, suddenly, at the bizarrest of moments he did it again. The situation actually made me rather unwell.
I’d urge anyone, a “fuck off you’re fugly” text is infinitely easier to process than a vanishing.
Did he ever come back after the second time? He is clearly the one with issues, not you. You need to believe that. What he did was way beyond fucking cuntish.
No, not to date. I have knowledge that he is alive though. So I understand him now to simply be a liar, and have closure on worrying about him.
It’s left me very disconcerted about people’s intentions. I had always been an optimist in trusting people before him. That’s the damaging part, and sadly I think I’m polluting new situations with frequent panic attacks at the legitimacy of someone’s intent towards me. It all feels intensely shameful. "
It's not your fault, not sure why it would be shameful. Anyone would be wary of new situations. Nothing wrong with being wary. You've got this far in life without the same happening before, that means there's good people out there too.
You don't know for sure why he did it again. Perhaps it wasn't a bad reason. Perhaps believing it 'just wasn't meant to be' might help. "Time heals" sounds like bollocks but it's true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's not your fault, not sure why it would be shameful. Anyone would be wary of new situations. Nothing wrong with being wary. You've got this far in life without the same happening before, that means there's good people out there too.
You don't know for sure why he did it again. Perhaps it wasn't a bad reason. Perhaps believing it 'just wasn't meant to be' might help. "Time heals" sounds like bollocks but it's true. "
You’re absolutely right. I wonder where the feeling of shame comes from. I guess I feel ashamed at the fact I fell for it, twice. That I wasn’t enough. Yes, it’s my lack of self esteem being triggered. I need to work on that.
Thanks Steels x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's not your fault, not sure why it would be shameful. Anyone would be wary of new situations. Nothing wrong with being wary. You've got this far in life without the same happening before, that means there's good people out there too.
You don't know for sure why he did it again. Perhaps it wasn't a bad reason. Perhaps believing it 'just wasn't meant to be' might help. "Time heals" sounds like bollocks but it's true.
You’re absolutely right. I wonder where the feeling of shame comes from. I guess I feel ashamed at the fact I fell for it, twice. That I wasn’t enough. Yes, it’s my lack of self esteem being triggered. I need to work on that.
Thanks Steels x"
Well you could be a total knobhead loser for falling for a load of shit twice. Or you could be a nice caring person that was open to trusting and forgiving twice.
.... Or a bit of both. (I mean that in a 'punch you on the arm, give your head a wobble you daft bat' kinda way!) x |
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Unfortunately I've experienced it a few times. I've been the "ghostee". Couple of times with fab blokes. Also had it with people I thought were mates.
Would rather have the honesty upfront. I can handle it. Then I can move on. Ghosting, breadcrumbing and haunting just wastes people's time. Not cool  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!"
Ahhh now I've had this happen quite a few times. I just throw a bomb at them and sink them permanently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!
Ahhh now I've had this happen quite a few times. I just throw a bomb at them and sink them permanently."
If its a bath bomb i'll share lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's not your fault, not sure why it would be shameful. Anyone would be wary of new situations. Nothing wrong with being wary. You've got this far in life without the same happening before, that means there's good people out there too.
You don't know for sure why he did it again. Perhaps it wasn't a bad reason. Perhaps believing it 'just wasn't meant to be' might help. "Time heals" sounds like bollocks but it's true.
You’re absolutely right. I wonder where the feeling of shame comes from. I guess I feel ashamed at the fact I fell for it, twice. That I wasn’t enough. Yes, it’s my lack of self esteem being triggered. I need to work on that.
Thanks Steels x
Well you could be a total knobhead loser for falling for a load of shit twice. Or you could be a nice caring person that was open to trusting and forgiving twice.
.... Or a bit of both. (I mean that in a 'punch you on the arm, give your head a wobble you daft bat' kinda way!) x "
 I *am* a total knobhead loser, but I’m embracing it.  |
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I've been ghosted several times.
Get a message, start chatting,everything going OK, arrange a social... their request, time & place of their choice - The Poof! Couple of days before silence!
I've got knack of spotting the ones who are going to do it now, can't actually say how.. Just a gut feeling.
The last couple I hadn't even bothered to make plans as I was certain they'd disappear and they did.
Never heard the teens submarining or breadcrumbing before, but seeing the descriptions posted above, then yes, had that too.
Had several guys message me weeks, even months later & then can't understand why I'm not jumping for joy, they decided to honour me with their attention, and am not willing to meet them.
Am I guilty of doing those things?
Not intentionally.
Some people after chatting a while, I realise there is no attraction, have different interests, timing, location etc make things just too complicated to ever meet.
I've previously tried to be polite & explain, and received abuse.
So I suppose in a way they could say I'd ghosted them.
But I'd never do that if we had gone as far as arranging a social & I changed my mind, then I would tell them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you get to know the ones who are just 'playing' and who never intend to meet up - we should use a points system so genuine swingers can avoid the time wasters! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!
Ahhh now I've had this happen quite a few times. I just throw a bomb at them and sink them permanently.
If its a bath bomb i'll share lol"
Meet you at the bath tub  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!
Ahhh now I've had this happen quite a few times. I just throw a bomb at them and sink them permanently.
If its a bath bomb i'll share lol
Meet you at the bath tub "
 YES! |
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore? "
I think it’s happened to most of us!
I was supposed to have a ‘real’ date on here on Saturday night with a guy from here who said he was looking for a real, non exclusive relationship.
We chatted loads of times both here, WhatsApp and on the phone - but he just went quiet on Saturday afternoon and didn’t send the restaurant details. Didn’t pick up the phone either!
Why? I don’t know!
Maybe some people genuinely get off on upsetting other people? |
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"I've been ghosted several times.
Get a message, start chatting,everything going OK, arrange a social... their request, time & place of their choice - The Poof! Couple of days before silence!
I've got knack of spotting the ones who are going to do it now, can't actually say how.. Just a gut feeling.
The last couple I hadn't even bothered to make plans as I was certain they'd disappear and they did.
Never heard the teens submarining or breadcrumbing before, but seeing the descriptions posted above, then yes, had that too.
Had several guys message me weeks, even months later & then can't understand why I'm not jumping for joy, they decided to honour me with their attention, and am not willing to meet them.
Am I guilty of doing those things?
Not intentionally.
Some people after chatting a while, I realise there is no attraction, have different interests, timing, location etc make things just too complicated to ever meet.
I've previously tried to be polite & explain, and received abuse.
So I suppose in a way they could say I'd ghosted them.
But I'd never do that if we had gone as far as arranging a social & I changed my mind, then I would tell them. "
Me too to all of the above!
More importantly though - on a scale of one to ten - how uncomfortable was that log? |
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
I think it’s happened to most of us!
I was supposed to have a ‘real’ date on here on Saturday night with a guy from here who said he was looking for a real, non exclusive relationship.
We chatted loads of times both here, WhatsApp and on the phone - but he just went quiet on Saturday afternoon and didn’t send the restaurant details. Didn’t pick up the phone either!
Why? I don’t know!
Maybe some people genuinely get off on upsetting other people? "
I hope that wasn't someone from the dating thread,not that it matters one way or another. |
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"Have you had it done to you, have you done it to someone else, or do you go for the slow fade, or are you straight With the person and just tell them you’re not interested anymore?
I think it’s happened to most of us!
I was supposed to have a ‘real’ date on here on Saturday night with a guy from here who said he was looking for a real, non exclusive relationship.
We chatted loads of times both here, WhatsApp and on the phone - but he just went quiet on Saturday afternoon and didn’t send the restaurant details. Didn’t pick up the phone either!
Why? I don’t know!
Maybe some people genuinely get off on upsetting other people?
I hope that wasn't someone from the dating thread,not that it matters one way or another. "
No it wasn’t love. Just fab in general! X |
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"
Me too to all of the above!
More importantly though - on a scale of one to ten - how uncomfortable was that log? "
I'd give it a 20
I fell off the first time I lay down, much to the amusement of the bush lurkers watching!
Ended up rolling on the ground laughing for ages I couldn't get up ...
And yes Herts took pics of that too!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's probably harder for the ladies to keep track if they are getting a lot of messages it's understandable some will fall by the wayside. Particularly, as has been indicated further up the thread, he isn't in the top ten. For me, when I feel the communication has become very one way, ie I am the one instigating all the conversation and she is only replying out of politeness, there's little point continuing, however much you enjoy chatting with her. |
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"
Me too to all of the above!
More importantly though - on a scale of one to ten - how uncomfortable was that log?
I'd give it a 20
I fell off the first time I lay down, much to the amusement of the bush lurkers watching!
Ended up rolling on the ground laughing for ages I couldn't get up ...
And yes Herts took pics of that too!
"
It’s a gorgeous pic though!
And how the fuck you got your tits to stay up like that I’ve no idea! My guess is invisible wire attached to a tree branch above you! |
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"
Me too to all of the above!
More importantly though - on a scale of one to ten - how uncomfortable was that log?
I'd give it a 20
I fell off the first time I lay down, much to the amusement of the bush lurkers watching!
Ended up rolling on the ground laughing for ages I couldn't get up ...
And yes Herts took pics of that too!
It’s a gorgeous pic though!
And how the fuck you got your tits to stay up like that I’ve no idea! My guess is invisible wire attached to a tree branch above you! "
Aw thank you lovey x
My tits defy gravity... Lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think I’m any of those but I’m rubbish at messaging - do state it in my profile (my defence!!) I’m only interested in messages that are to do with club meets and parties though. I can swop messsges, then nothing for weeks.
I think if I was doing 1:1 meets id have to put the time in but it all sounds too exhausting  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
So after reading the thread, ghosting= wasting someones time by chat tailing off or not confirming a meet.
I don't think chat tailing off is wasting peoples time, I put that down to one or the other got bored/busy elsewhere/ had a better offer
Not confirming details I class as a lucky escape as now we wouldn't need to sit in a meeting place and then being stood up.
In answer to the OP, yes to both, but I am struggling with the need for it to be a big thing, it is just what it is, people changing their mind about someone on a site that is a site that we used for NSA sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off"
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?"
Thank you i thought the amercian one was ghosting too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My understanding of ghosting was more had occurred between two people; actual contact, investment, expectation and promise and whilst in the state of this being a live, active and mutually understood to be ongoing interaction one vanishes, no explanation, no knowledge of whether they’re even still alive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My understanding of ghosting was more had occurred between two people; actual contact, investment, expectation and promise and whilst in the state of this being a live, active and mutually understood to be ongoing interaction one vanishes, no explanation, no knowledge of whether they’re even still alive. "
Mine too. I don't relate ghosting to messaging on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My understanding of ghosting was more had occurred between two people; actual contact, investment, expectation and promise and whilst in the state of this being a live, active and mutually understood to be ongoing interaction one vanishes, no explanation, no knowledge of whether they’re even still alive. "
Mine also.....people losing interest after briefly chatting online is just part of the internet life..
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?"
Not a clue...I was just going by what people have said on the thread. I didn't know there was such a thing as ghosting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?
Not a clue...I was just going by what people have said on the thread. I didn't know there was such a thing as ghosting."
I think that ghosting is a bit more than just stopping answering messages after a couple of exchanges. Its more when you’ve talked, built a rapport, made plans and invested in the relationship then they simply drop all contact and disappear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?
Not a clue...I was just going by what people have said on the thread. I didn't know there was such a thing as ghosting.
I think that ghosting is a bit more than just stopping answering messages after a couple of exchanges. Its more when you’ve talked, built a rapport, made plans and invested in the relationship then they simply drop all contact and disappear. "
Ghosting means 'the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then the people before me on this thread must have been answering something different. I was going by their answers before I answered.
"
Agreed, there was a swing in responses giving it that impression (it’s why I came back to reclarify my anecdote in case it hadn’t been clear!! ) |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Then the people before me on this thread must have been answering something different. I was going by their answers before I answered.
"
I did google to see what the definition was, but the people answering before me where answering as if it was to do with mails on here....so I was more answering that and thinking what a silly thing to call not getting an answer to mail.
To the "ghosting " thing...people were dumped without being told, why it needs a name I don't know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ghost loads of folk the second they act like a twat i ignore them completly. rarely block as it annoys them more knowing their msgs are delivered "
It refers to people in personal relationships not to the passing acquaintances you chat to on here... that's not quite the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then the people before me on this thread must have been answering something different. I was going by their answers before I answered.
I did google to see what the definition was, but the people answering before me where answering as if it was to do with mails on here....so I was more answering that and thinking what a silly thing to call not getting an answer to mail.
To the "ghosting " thing...people were dumped without being told, why it needs a name I don't know"
wait till I get my phone out.....who ya gunna call?
Da da iant afraid of no ghost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say that the ghosting from message only relationships is more one side thinking it's going great, the other side thinking it's polite to answer.
Often it's just paths diverging and distance grows until you just end.
Ghosted thousands of people I worked with daily for years, then got a different contract and never spoke to them again. It's only because social media puts everyone in touch with everyone that it's become an issue.
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"I ghost loads of folk the second they act like a twat i ignore them completly. rarely block as it annoys them more knowing their msgs are delivered
It refers to people in personal relationships not to the passing acquaintances you chat to on here... that's not quite the same thing"
the people i talk to are ones i build a relationship with so their is personal involvment i also would ghost them at a bar or a social gathering ive no time for folk who portray one thing and do another |
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?"
I thought it was the meeting a few time's then they do a vanishing act without saying anything. |
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Slow fade is fine, as is chatting and then disappearing. What I deem to be ghosting is when you’ve chatting for a while and arrange to meet with an actual time and date and then they disappear beforehand. Grow a pair and say you’ve bottled it or changed your mind, but just disappearing is plain annoying.
I always ask for a quick confirmation that someone has left, before I actually leave myself, hence I’ve never actually been stood up! But only because I’m a pessimist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ghost loads of folk the second they act like a twat i ignore them completly. rarely block as it annoys them more knowing their msgs are delivered
It refers to people in personal relationships not to the passing acquaintances you chat to on here... that's not quite the same thingthe people i talk to are ones i build a relationship with so their is personal involvment i also would ghost them at a bar or a social gathering ive no time for folk who portray one thing and do another"
I took it to mean people you had actually met...that seems to be the general concensus |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?
I thought it was the meeting a few time's then they do a vanishing act without saying anything."
As in on a swinging site or dating the person in real life? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes, I've had it done to me - it's far more of a subjective term then I realised though!
I haven't done it to another and I don't think I will (although obviously there can be extenuating circumstances so I can't say I definitely won't).
It made me feel like crap and much like Estella there's a shameful feeling that went with it. |
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"PS if we were not interested in someone we would just say so but there has been times were chat has just tailed off
Please explain something to me... because I’m really confused.....
Ghosting in America = meeting someone in person a few times... then they stop answering texts and phone calls.
Does ghosting in UK = someone you never met stop answering texts and phone calls?
I thought it was the meeting a few time's then they do a vanishing act without saying anything.
As in on a swinging site or dating the person in real life?"
More dating in my mind when emotions come into play. |
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"Yes, I've had it done to me - it's far more of a subjective term then I realised though!
I haven't done it to another and I don't think I will (although obviously there can be extenuating circumstances so I can't say I definitely won't).
It made me feel like crap and much like Estella there's a shameful feeling that went with it. "
You personalise it don’t you? Well I did. And I think because the person in question did it to me twice, it made me feel so much worse.
And I was also a bit humiliated that I fell for his bullshit twice in a row |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I've had it done to me - it's far more of a subjective term then I realised though!
I haven't done it to another and I don't think I will (although obviously there can be extenuating circumstances so I can't say I definitely won't).
It made me feel like crap and much like Estella there's a shameful feeling that went with it.
You personalise it don’t you? Well I did. And I think because the person in question did it to me twice, it made me feel so much worse.
And I was also a bit humiliated that I fell for his bullshit twice in a row "
I strongly believe people are doing the best that they can in any situation and sadly, sometimes, their best is not good enough or enough to not negatively impact the other person. My respect for people is ties strongly with their accountability for their actions. For explaining why they did what they did, their intent and if there is remorse that what they managed (or failed to manage) hurt the other person. If there were extenuating circumstances then I’d still expect the ability for them to say “look this happened and this is why it was too much blah blah, but regardless of that I didn’t manage to not impact you and hurt you and I own that and apologise for those actions and that result” - I would expect to be accountable for my actions within the scenario too though, perhaps that I assumed their ill intent or badmouthed them out of hurt or some such. I would always be prepared to hear someone out as I think it’s honorable and ultimately constructive for me, and for them. Some people are oblivious to the hurt they cause through their actions and not because they don’t care, simply because their dealing with their own burden of trauma.
And of course, then there are some cunts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!"
Usually when you display a new veri folk start appearing again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heard a new one today - submarining. The person that disappears without a trace and then suddenly reappears a few weeks later to start chatting again!
Usually when you display a new veri folk start appearing again "
Funnily enough a new veri on someone I'm chatting to just reminds me of how far down the list/or total no hoper I am...... |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"I have experienced it a couple times. Incidentally with the same person. It hurts. Not so much for the loss of friendship but for the lack of respect. I understand in my case it's what he does, he was open about that and his emotional insecurities but it literally takes a minute to just say sorry I have to go before they do.
I am with you. The lack of respect is what annoys me most. Especially, when the same people will tell you off for doing the same treatment to them. "
And when it was more than friendship |
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