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Priorities priorities priorities
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As I look through the forums and various profiles it strikes me how varied our wants, needs and desires are. It has set me thinking (again) about what we’re all looking for and how we prioritise what we’re looking for in a partner or partners.
So dear fabbers; what do you look for in your meets? Is it the smile? Eyes? Or is it the personality? Is distance the immovable object for you?
What is it about people that makes you think ‘I want to meet you’? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me personally I can look at a profile and pics and think you look good etc but I’m finding it more now it’s a gut instinct when I start chatting to someone...and if you just seem to click or not..personality and that connection is a big thing for me. I also haven’t had a clue of what I really wanted.. but as time moves on I’m learning more...
I don’t mind traveling at all.. the problem is because I would like a FwB type person someone a long way away that wouldn’t work..
So like us all I keep looking and who knows...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I want someone to go at my pace. I know that's damm near impossible for the recipricant but I'm not very confident so when someone is too cocky I get flustered or embaressed  I want a nice guy but a confident funny one  |
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"
So dear fabbers; what do you look for in your meets? Is it the smile? Eyes? Or is it the personality? "
Am I the only one who's wanting to burst into the shoop shoop song now?
# Oooh ooooh it's in his kiss 
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pictures for initial attraction, but the decider for a meet is after chatting to see if our personalities clash or not.
I know it's not a dating site, but I also don't do fuck and runs so want someone I can feel relaxed with in between play. If we don't click chatting, then odds are we aren't going to click fucking.
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
For me a connection and attraction.Not looking for that adonis, just someone I fancy .
Being able to chat easily and have a laugh and sharing similar interests .
It's rarely happens now unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me personally I can look at a profile and pics and think you look good etc but I’m finding it more now it’s a gut instinct when I start chatting to someone...and if you just seem to click or not..personality and that connection is a big thing for me. I also haven’t had a clue of what I really wanted.. but as time moves on I’m learning more...
I don’t mind traveling at all.. the problem is because I would like a FwB type person someone a long way away that wouldn’t work..
So like us all I keep looking and who knows... "
I understand what you mean, you get the ‘feel’ when conversation flows, as hard as that is to quantify!
One thing I’ve noticed from the date thread is how important distance is to people. My last relationship was long distance; we lived 70/80 miles apart and it worked just fine so to me distance isn’t a barrier but I get how it is for others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Initial connection, fun chatting and messaging, nice looking. Then at the meet there has to be that real connection, easy flowing conversation, laughing and joking. Looking similar to pics is always a bonus.
Don’t mind travelling either |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pictures for initial attraction, but the decider for a meet is after chatting to see if our personalities clash or not.
I know it's not a dating site, but I also don't do fuck and runs so want someone I can feel relaxed with in between play. If we don't click chatting, then odds are we aren't going to click fucking.
"
I know exactly what you mean, I think that kind of connection makes everything better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me a connection and attraction.Not looking for that adonis, just someone I fancy .
Being able to chat easily and have a laugh and sharing similar interests .
It's rarely happens now unfortunately."
Do you have priorities in terms of what you look for? Is there a certain quality that you would do without if they had another in abundance? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I don't think there's a single defining factor - more a mix of several, obviously someone's profile and how they come across on the forums may well be an initial draw - but from there it really is down to things like connection, chemistry, personality, shared interests (both sexual and otherwise) and as has been said whether a conversation "flows" or not - sometimes everything just "clicks" and you don't even think about keeping the conversation going, others it becomes an effort after a few messages and just fizzles out naturally.
It's when everything "clicks" that you know you're potentially onto a good thing 
Distance isn't a major factor for me, although obviously there are limits - but I'd be happy to drive for up to 2-3 hours for the right person, and if they were willing to do so too, that gives a pretty broad range  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Their perserverence:
With taking the time to message me consistently.
With my humour.
With my flightiness.
Tolerating my lousy social skills.
With my badgering them to let me suck their cock (once the social is out the way).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Making me laugh is a great start. Someone I click with and find attractive whose turn ons and curiosities match mine.
Feeling comfortable is a big thing for me, I'm really shy so I tend to know by talking with someone whether it will work by how awkward I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Making me laugh is a great start. Someone I click with and find attractive whose turn ons and curiosities match mine.
Feeling comfortable is a big thing for me, I'm really shy so I tend to know by talking with someone whether it will work by how awkward I feel. "
Is that in person or via message? Do you find that you get that feel from the words that they use? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Making me laugh is a great start. Someone I click with and find attractive whose turn ons and curiosities match mine.
Feeling comfortable is a big thing for me, I'm really shy so I tend to know by talking with someone whether it will work by how awkward I feel.
Is that in person or via message? Do you find that you get that feel from the words that they use? "
Both. The sense of humour in messaging would make me want to take things further. Talking by phone is where I would generally suss out if there is a click or how awkward I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The content of messaging ... fun but shows intelligence
The body shape
The voice and whether we laugh and share similar views
Three ticks and I will arrange a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look "
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x"
Gulp |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look "
I know exactly what you mean, on my old profile my verifications were from very different people and there was no unifying factor, other than the feeling they gave me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x
Gulp "
Hahahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x"
In that way is it also about how they make you feel about yourself? |
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It’s about how we get on for me. Sometimes we don’t swop face pics for a wee while after we have been chatting and that’s ok with me.
If I can chat to someone about anything, and have a laugh with them, and they make me smile, that’s a good thing. And it makes me way more likely to want to play with them. If I don’t click with someone it’s nots going to go any further.
There hasn’t really been anyone that I’ve clicked with that I haven’t continued to be attracted too after I’ve seen their face/body either
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x
In that way is it also about how they make you feel about yourself? "
I think the two things are mutually conducive - finding someone that's on your wavelength, and you click with, can only boost self-confidence and other ways you feel generally |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would have to say the old personality chestnut. Attraction has to be there for the chatting to start in the first place but guys can laugh me into bed. People are often surprised by the guys I've had relationships with in normal life too but that's usually because I've fallen for the way they are not always about the way they look
I totally agree with that... attraction isn’t all about looks for me!! If someone can make you laugh and smile and feel good that makes a huge difference x
In that way is it also about how they make you feel about yourself?
I think the two things are mutually conducive - finding someone that's on your wavelength, and you click with, can only boost self-confidence and other ways you feel generally "
Absolutely |
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