My dearest, oldest and very active friend is going through this, she’s 80. I’ve been reading lots about how to support her but I know you lovely lot will have been or going through similar and I’d like to ask your opinion on something.
Currently, I don’t actively remember for her but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. Is it a case of use it or lose it or will I take one pressure off by remembering to do things like taking the bins out?
I know each individual case is different but I don’t understand the physiology behind memory loss. She does not have any formal diagnosis.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let her do as much as she can. If it's very early stages everything will be there...Just not at the right time if that makes sense. Small reminders and prompts at this stage and follow her lead. As it progresses just adjust how often you do this. I would always say tho let her be as independent as possible
Best of luck to you and your friend x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Let her do as much as she can. If it's very early stages everything will be there...Just not at the right time if that makes sense. Small reminders and prompts at this stage and follow her lead. As it progresses just adjust how often you do this. I would always say tho let her be as independent as possible
Best of luck to you and your friend x"
Good reply. My dad is 88 and can be forgetful about certain things. I play along with him sometimes so he doesn't worry about it. But he does remember important things, like his finances. I think as we age ,we block out things that are of no importance to us. Sounds like you're a very good friend OP.  |
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Sometimes it can be an overreaction; I’m old and I’ve forgotten something - I must be going senile.
No. Memory issues are always with us, we just notice it more when we’re alarmed. Try asking a teenager where his shoes are or a 7 year old where they put Daddy’s car keys and you’ll be surrounded in “I can’t remember”  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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someone once told me the brain/memory is like a muscle , it needs excercising,bit like muscle to keep it strong and fit.
crosswords and word search magazines make it think.......... |
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Visual aids, prompts and whiteboards are always helpful.
And if things deteriorate a referral for Telecare can help. They can provide all sorts of small discreet bits of equipment to help people live independently - timed medication dispensers, occupancy detectors, door contacts (if someone might be at risk of wandering), bogus caller alerts, all sorts.
Also encouraging your friend to keep her mind active and supporting her can help.
I’m an OT by trade so feel free to PM if I can be of any assistance |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Something my dad does, is get to bed and wonder if he's locked the gate/house, turned lights out etc and gets up again. We have written him a list and stuck it to the door to the stairs, so he can mentally check the things off. It works for him! |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Visual aids, prompts and whiteboards are always helpful.
And if things deteriorate a referral for Telecare can help. They can provide all sorts of small discreet bits of equipment to help people live independently - timed medication dispensers, occupancy detectors, door contacts (if someone might be at risk of wandering), bogus caller alerts, all sorts.
Also encouraging your friend to keep her mind active and supporting her can help.
I’m an OT by trade so feel free to PM if I can be of any assistance "
That's interesting to know, thank you. |
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"Let her do as much as she can. If it's very early stages everything will be there...Just not at the right time if that makes sense. Small reminders and prompts at this stage and follow her lead. As it progresses just adjust how often you do this. I would always say tho let her be as independent as possible
Best of luck to you and your friend x"
Thank you so much and your description of it all being there but not at the right time has helped immensely. I’m going to share it with her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex's dad is going this way, he now has a to do board in the kitchen and he seems to be coping, though it helps to have someone there to remind him from time to time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have an elderly friend that tells me the same things over and over. I used to say, "sorry you've told me that before" but now I just act like it's the first time I heard it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"someone once told me the brain/memory is like a muscle , it needs excercising,bit like muscle to keep it strong and fit.
crosswords and word search magazines make it think.........."
That didnt help my mum. |
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