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Feeling incredibily shitty!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Has anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nice body on you op

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks, I hope that’s a compliment and not the joke I requested!

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple  over a year ago

Fareham

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Watching thread as I need cheering up too today

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thanks, I hope that’s a compliment and not the joke I requested! "

A jokliment

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By *itvclaireTV/TS  over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 09/06/18 19:48:28]

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By *itvclaireTV/TS  over a year ago

Birmingham


"Has anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?"

Sending you a virtual hug instead, my jokes would make you feel worse

XX

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Giving free tickles for laughs

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan  over a year ago

Aberdeenshire


"Has anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?"

I’ve been told that I’m a complete joke...

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By *osweet69Couple  over a year ago

portsmouth

A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"

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By *osweet69Couple  over a year ago

portsmouth

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can I join in on the cheering up please?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd have to hold a ban for my jokes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can I join in on the cheering up please?"

I'd love to give you my penis but unfortunateLy it is just under 6 inches

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m rubbish at jokes so will just send big squidgy huggles if that’s ok!!!

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.

When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks for the virtual hugs and jokes everyone!

Sorry to see I’m not the only one feeling miserable today.

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By *osweet69Couple  over a year ago

portsmouth

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A woman walks into FAB and asks for a cock. Moments later she updates her profile to No Single Guys.

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By *heonix316Couple  over a year ago

Aberdeen

Two newly married couples on honeymoon and an old married couple are sharing the breakfast table in a country B&B.

The first newly wed groom asks his wife; "Pass me the sugar, sugar x". The second newlywed groom asks his princess;"Pass me the honey, honey x". The now jealous old hubby, looks over at his wife of 40+ years and growls; Pass the bacon x"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

just visited a friend poor bugger has had terrible luck this year. he kept getting terrible headaches really crippled him! kept going to the doctors who couldnt do anything his doctor sent him to a specialist who gave him the bad news, that the headaches were caused by a problem in his right leg and it would have to come off! They took the leg off but he still got the headaches so the specialist said sorry but the other has to come off! Still the headaches! so to cheer him up we went to a tailor to day, to get him fitted for a new suit. very understanding tailor, the tailor asked him "which side do you dress on" I said to the tailor "does it matter?" the tailor says "cos it fking does! if you dress on the wrong side YOU GET BANGING HEADACHES!!!"

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By *ebjonnsonMan  over a year ago

Maldon

Couple were having an extension built and their angelic little five year old daughter would offer the builders a cuppa and play at mixing up sand with her bucket and spade. At the end of the week the builders but some loose change in I wage packet and said it was her wages for helping them. Over dinner on Friday she explained to her father that she had been paid for being a builder. Dad said “are you going to be a builder again next week darling”? She said “yes, well, as long as those fucking bricks turn up”!

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