FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You look fat in that dress.

You look fat in that dress.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'd thank him for his honesty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know it's not about me. But I'd like someone to be honest with me.

Like what the hell is your style?

What the hell is thst hair cut?

Its just better than lying to someone just to make them feel better.

Todays society is so sensitive to everything.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Unless id asked his opinion then he shouldnt be rude. If id of asked his opinion thats different

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone was comfortable with how they looked then I wouldn't comment, if the looked totally wrong, I would probably say something like, oh it's nice, but the style doesn't really do anything for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I know it's not about me. But I'd like someone to be honest with me.

Like what the hell is your style?

What the hell is thst hair cut?

Its just better than lying to someone just to make them feel better.

Todays society is so sensitive to everything."

No it's honestly not about you, it just made me think of the question.

I prefer people to be honest too but I understand why they don't. I know I often look shit but my friends don't tell me. There is a way to say things without hurting their feelings though.

Has anyone ever said anything to hurt your feelings?

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I have learnt that if people don’t ask you shouldn’t just volunteer the information or opinions. It is difficult if you are that person too as boundaries have to be learned and don’t always come automatically

We have a strict don’t ask me if you don’t want to know policy in work, at home and in my family

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

I'd say "thanks for your honesty ***** guy 95"

Actually thats too obvious, lets say "young *** 95" instead.

Althougg to be fair I dont wear dresses.

See you in 48 hours.....

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By *lackbird1000Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

Have ways to be honest ! If you are fat you know already the dress Will not make you slimmer.Does exist magic dress!

Be honest is not being rude and yes tactful and honest .

My mom though this way and I teach my son the same .

In my opinion .

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

I think if it was a common thing, and they seemed oblivious they could cause offence, then it's one of many indicators that there's more going on than just bluntness. If it's linked with other stuff, I'd be thinking either aspergers or autism.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It would depend if I had asked for his opinion or not. If I had then yeah I'd want him to be honest.

If I hadn't then I'd be a bit annoyed at his bluntness. I think unsolicited criticism is welcome from people you know and trust if it's delivered in a tactful way and is productive. Like if my dress was too tight and looked bad then I would welcome someone telling me before I left the house where I could do something about it, telling me in a pub or something when I'm out in public would made me paranoid and ruin my night. It's about knowing the right time and approach.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know it's not about me. But I'd like someone to be honest with me.

Like what the hell is your style?

What the hell is thst hair cut?

Its just better than lying to someone just to make them feel better.

Todays society is so sensitive to everything.

No it's honestly not about you, it just made me think of the question.

I prefer people to be honest too but I understand why they don't. I know I often look shit but my friends don't tell me. There is a way to say things without hurting their feelings though.

Has anyone ever said anything to hurt your feelings?"

People have tried but nothing gets to me.

I've just got really thick skin so its hard to actually say something that, can get under it. I usually just end up turning it back on them and they get hurt themselves. You've probably seen it on here.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'd probably ask him if he's looked in the mirror recently, then have a giggle about it.

I wouldn't wear something if I thought I looked bad in it though!

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By *tarbeckCouple over a year ago

york

If Steve says it i take note as hes always honest and i dont take offence

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am only honest with family or close friends about their appearance. I will say, “Don’t wear that it makes you look frumpy”. Or “What the fuck is going on with your hairstyle

”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd tell him to mind his own business and if I wanted the opinion from someone I give zero fucks about I'd ask a random stranger on the street.

If he's not the one fucking me on a daily basis then his opinion doesn't interest me and so he can keep it to himself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread is very transparent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I assume most people have mirrors in their house and are aware of how they look, so wouldn't make unsolicited comments about their appearance. If they had broccoli in their teeth or something in their hair then yes I'd mention that. Making comments about somebodies weight or appearance when not invited isn't a great example of honesty it's just downright rude.

I find that often people who do this don't take criticism about themselves very well so I assume there are some issues on their part somewhere.

Ginger

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I don’t really understand why most of the replies seem to be aggressive.....if the person is telling the truth then what is the problem? If it is unsolicited then the response could be I didn’t ask for your opinion. If an opinion was requested then it’s your own fault if you don’t like the answer. A lot of people struggle with lying to make someone feel better and some people need to be taught that sometimes it is better not to say anything if you can’t say what they want to hear.....none of the above warrants the anger in some responses to this thread

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"It would depend if I had asked for his opinion or not. If I had then yeah I'd want him to be honest.

This, right time, right approach and right phraseology.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It would depend if I had asked for his opinion or not. If I had then yeah I'd want him to be honest.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

It also depends on how close you are. Myself and a very very dear friend of mine are honest with each other.

She'll send me a selfie, and I'll respond with "what the fuck are you wearing? Get it off, it's horrid... my eyes, my eyes"

I'll also tell her when she looks beautiful.

Her naughtical clothing makes me wanna barf. She knows this

I wouldn't be that way with many other people, it's just that we do know each other that well.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"It would depend if I had asked for his opinion or not. If I had then yeah I'd want him to be honest.

This, right time, right approach and right phraseology.

Jackpot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A piece of clothing doesn’t make you look fat, if you are that way then I’m sure you know and don’t need reminding.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think if it was a common thing, and they seemed oblivious they could cause offence, then it's one of many indicators that there's more going on than just bluntness. If it's linked with other stuff, I'd be thinking either aspergers or autism.

I have a close friend like that. Used to think he was picking on me and said hurtful things but now I know why. It was very deep things and things I probably didn’t want to face or for him to dig deeper but he kept digging. Luckily I get him now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't put on the blue dress

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Just because someone else thinks a person looks awful doesn't mean its true. People should keep negative opinions to themself unless specifically asked. I admire people who tell the truth but they need to be aware that just because you see something doesn't mean you have to say it.

The exception to this is if you are concerned about somebody's health because they're looking dreadful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d ignore him.

I grew up with a very blunt step-father and i had a yorkshire man for a grandfather.

You can usually tell if someone is saying something to be nasty - if they are then pull them up on it, if not just get on with your day.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"I’d ignore him.

I grew up with a very blunt step-father and i had a yorkshire man for a grandfather.

You can usually tell if someone is saying something to be nasty - if they are then pull them up on it, if not just get on with your day."

I was born and brought up in Yorkshire and I am dead polite!

You got!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just because someone else thinks a person looks awful doesn't mean its true. People should keep negative opinions to themself unless specifically asked. I admire people who tell the truth but they need to be aware that just because you see something doesn't mean you have to say it.

The exception to this is if you are concerned about somebody's health because they're looking dreadful."

Yes we figured out the reason and it was exactly this- he was genuinely concerned about my friend's health. I told him at the time in a jokey but serious way that he shouldn't be saying what he said. He didn't realise the offence he was causing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Was it like insightful things, things you know deep down but wouldn't want anyone else to say out loud? I have another friend that does this. Different to the one I mentioned in the OP.

The guy in my OP is older so we were surprised when he said what he did, especially as he's not a friend. He's a nice guy though. I made sure my friend understood that his intention was caring and not cruel.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

My son is very blunt so I am quite used to it...

however, he is autistic and he just says what he sees almost as soon as he thinks it..

Luckily his circle of friends are aware of his condition and just laugh it off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like he needs to learn tact

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd wrestle him to the bed, pin him down and smother him with my tits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd wrestle him to the bed, pin him down and smother him with my tits. "

Put me down for some of this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Things like that don't offend me, so I would thank him for his honesty.

Then smother him with my tits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

if i new them well i wouldn't mind, if i didnt then id say mind your own business

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

My son is very blunt so I am quite used to it...

however, he is autistic and he just says what he sees almost as soon as he thinks it..

Luckily his circle of friends are aware of his condition and just laugh it off "

How do people that don't know him react to him? Have you tried to teach him different ways of talking to people?

I apologise, I don't mean to offend, it's a genuine question- I don't know if it's possible to 'teach' someone in this way. I don't have much experience with autistic people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

My son is very blunt so I am quite used to it...

however, he is autistic and he just says what he sees almost as soon as he thinks it..

Luckily his circle of friends are aware of his condition and just laugh it off

How do people that don't know him react to him? Have you tried to teach him different ways of talking to people?

I apologise, I don't mean to offend, it's a genuine question- I don't know if it's possible to 'teach' someone in this way. I don't have much experience with autistic people. "

If we are out and about he knows to tell me rather than just blurt something out, as as you can imagine it could be quite embarrassing lol

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By *heIcebreakersCouple over a year ago

Cramlington

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"
Best reply? "A broken nose suits you..." "I haven't got a broken.. owwwwwwwwww, that fucking hurts...."

Genuinely saw almost exactly this scene acted out after some shit for brains decided to tell one of my friends that she had saggy tits....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

My son is very blunt so I am quite used to it...

however, he is autistic and he just says what he sees almost as soon as he thinks it..

Luckily his circle of friends are aware of his condition and just laugh it off

How do people that don't know him react to him? Have you tried to teach him different ways of talking to people?

I apologise, I don't mean to offend, it's a genuine question- I don't know if it's possible to 'teach' someone in this way. I don't have much experience with autistic people.

If we are out and about he knows to tell me rather than just blurt something out, as as you can imagine it could be quite embarrassing lol "

I can imagine it wouldn't go down too well.

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I work with 4 year olds... they are the most honest little people. They say what they see without the filters. Im often told I am fat, asked why I have a fat tummy? Asked why my chin wobbles? I find their honesty endearing and answer them honestly.

Adults on the Autistic Spectrum are often blunt too... they see things in a very black and white way and this can often be taken as them being rude.

If somebody gave their opinion in a blunt way I would just thank them for their input.

Other peoples opinions of me are none of my business.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes you feel crap anyway, you have a day you feel fat and frumpy. The last thing you need is that view reinforced by a friend who thinks they’re doing you a favour. There’s a way to say things, like they tell you to with feedback, the sandwich effect. Something good, the filling (something bad) and then something good.

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

I have a niece who has no filter on her mouth and will say it how she sees it. It's taken a while and she still hasn't got it that "Just because you've thought it doesn't mean you have to say it!"

Unless like others have stated have asked for an opinion.

She's learnt the hard way a few times now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I know it's not about me. But I'd like someone to be honest with me.

Like what the hell is your style?

What the hell is thst hair cut?

Its just better than lying to someone just to make them feel better.

Todays society is so sensitive to everything.

No it's honestly not about you, it just made me think of the question.

I prefer people to be honest too but I understand why they don't. I know I often look shit but my friends don't tell me. There is a way to say things without hurting their feelings though.

Has anyone ever said anything to hurt your feelings?

People have tried but nothing gets to me.

It's not a bad thing to have feelings. We're human.

Some people are bullies and they pick on people for any little thing. It's usually best to just ignore them.

But some people don't mean anything bad by what they say- don't turn it back on everyone. You might end up hurting someone that was trying to help. Hope that makes sense.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

It would depend on whether he was just voicing his opinion outright or whether I had invited him to comment but either way at the very least I would point out that you can be honest and polite. There is no need for anyone to be rude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’d ignore him.

I grew up with a very blunt step-father and i had a yorkshire man for a grandfather.

You can usually tell if someone is saying something to be nasty - if they are then pull them up on it, if not just get on with your day.

I was born and brought up in Yorkshire and I am dead polite!

You got! "

I got!

I just meant that, in my experience (from my grampy and his extended Yorkshire family) that they are very no nonsense, calls a spade a spade types - that kind of thing.

It doesn’t bother me. I like it.

you always know where you stand with folk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This may sound obscure, but tell him to watch an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball called The Sock. ... you should watch it regardless, it's very funny and extremely relevant to your original post OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This may sound obscure, but tell him to watch an episode of The Amazing World of Gumball called The Sock. ... you should watch it regardless, it's very funny and extremely relevant to your original post OP

I'll look it up.

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

I’d think he has Aspergers or some other condition that removes his filters. He doesn’t mean to be blunt or offensive he probably doesn’t realise how it affects others.

I’d learn to deal with it

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By *wingfellowMan over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

It’s not the most delicate way to approach someone with honesty but there will be some psychological reasoning behind it. As long as you are aware it’s lacks malicious intent it’s tolerable. I guess it just depends on wether there’s no filter with positivity too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind? "

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy. "

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy. "

Wait for his classic reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings. "

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill. "

And if they are capable but just don't care then they are cunts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill. "

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think. "

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think. "

Got in there before you even asked.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think. "

Why do you see tact as being ultra submissive? Do you understand how communication and relationships work (not just intimate relationships but rubbing along together in society)?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho. "

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings.

Why has everything hot to have a Lable? A kid is feeling down. Omg. He is mentally unstable, he needs antidepressants.

Wtf is this world now?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Why do you see tact as being ultra submissive? Do you understand how communication and relationships work (not just intimate relationships but rubbing along together in society)?"

I'm not saying that a sensitive person is ultra submissive. But some people struggle with that, but that doesn't make them mentally unstable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know people like this. They claim being truthful is a good thing. I try to explain to them that they can be tactful and diplomatic whilst still being truthful. It’s not that hard.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings.

Why has everything hot to have a Lable? A kid is feeling down. Omg. He is mentally unstable, he needs antidepressants.

Wtf is this world now? "

I hate being the person to use the age card here but... maybe when you have experienced more you might develop some empathy and understand that not everyone can be like you or wants to be like you.

In our differences there is a strength.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know people like this. They claim being truthful is a good thing. I try to explain to them that they can be tactful and diplomatic whilst still being truthful. It’s not that hard. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does my bum look big in this?

No dear, It looks big with your bum in it

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Why do you see tact as being ultra submissive? Do you understand how communication and relationships work (not just intimate relationships but rubbing along together in society)?

I'm not saying that a sensitive person is ultra submissive. But some people struggle with that, but that doesn't make them mentally unstable. "

Reading the thread you were the person that questioned this as mental illness. Others suggested ASD, which is not a mental illness.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He sounds like a knob head OP

I REALLY have to bite my tongue a lot of the time - but tact goes a long way - especially when it boils down to hurting someones feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings.

Why has everything hot to have a Lable? A kid is feeling down. Omg. He is mentally unstable, he needs antidepressants.

Wtf is this world now? "

As usual you missed the point and are so far wide of the mark I can’t be arsed to right a decent reply, cause that to will fly over your head.

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

There are several neurological reasons a person my lack empathy, tact and diplomacy. Mental illness, Autism, Aspegers Syndrome, stroke, dementia, even head and brain injury.

Yes of course some people can just come across blunt and not have any of the above 'labels' but generally speaking empathy, tact and diplomacy are skills we learn in our infancy and develop with age.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings. "

Autism isn't a mental illness.

I found this on another site-

"Maybe you’ve had a conversation with an oblivious autistic person who’s just upset someone and you’re trying to explain why and you say “And so when they asked you if they looked fat and you said ‘yes’, they felt sad”, that person replied, rather surprised, “But they shouldn’t, that’s stupid”.

A lot of well-meaning people will then say “But how would you feel if someone said that to you?” and get the response, “Well, it would be true. Why would I feel down?”

It’s hard to deal with that kind of approach, and in my experience, accepting that other people have emotional reactions over stuff that doesn’t make sense to them is one of the most profound and conscious-raising realisations an autistic person can make."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think, if someone can say something to someone else uninvited; knowing full well they are going to hurt the other persons feelings and not care, at the very least it makes them a bit of twunt.

They therefore shouldn't be surprised if they don't do very well socially in life or get laid very often.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know people like this. They claim being truthful is a good thing. I try to explain to them that they can be tactful and diplomatic whilst still being truthful. It’s not that hard. "

While truth may be subjective depending on whose version of the truth it is; the way it's delivered can help or hurt damage or heal.

We all see truth differently depending on our own experience but if our version of the truth is delivered in a more kindly way that must always be better than beating someone about the head with whatever that truth may be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I'd ask for his opinion I would take what he said on the chin. If it was the first thing he said when I walked into the room, I'd tell him to go fuck himself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings.

Why has everything hot to have a Lable? A kid is feeling down. Omg. He is mentally unstable, he needs antidepressants.

Wtf is this world now?

I hate being the person to use the age card here but... maybe when you have experienced more you might develop some empathy and understand that not everyone can be like you or wants to be like you.

In our differences there is a strength.

Age has nothing to do with this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

I have a friend like this. He has aspergers.

And some dont like him for it but most friends see past it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If i asked for his opinion then thats fine i wouldnt wanna go out looking a fat twat but if its about personal taste like he didnt like the dress but i did then stuff him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

I would argue that people incapable of thinking how others might feel are mentally ill.

How about if they generally don't care?

Not all people are nice and ultra submissive like everyone on here would think.

Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings.

Why has everything hot to have a Lable? A kid is feeling down. Omg. He is mentally unstable, he needs antidepressants.

Wtf is this world now?

I hate being the person to use the age card here but... maybe when you have experienced more you might develop some empathy and understand that not everyone can be like you or wants to be like you.

In our differences there is a strength.

Age has nothing to do with this. "

She has everything to do with shaping opinions on subjects.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

Autism isn't a mental illness.

I found this on another site-

A lot of well-meaning people will then say “But how would you feel if someone said that to you?” and get the response, “Well, it would be true. Why would I feel down?”

1) not autistic

2) I (not making it about me) accept that some people's feeling will get hurt. But we live in a snowflake society where even, saying they don't look good in a nice way will send them into a spiral.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think, if someone can say something to someone else uninvited; knowing full well they are going to hurt the other persons feelings and not care, at the very least it makes them a bit of twunt.

They therefore shouldn't be surprised if they don't do very well socially in life or get laid very often.

Ginger "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I'd ask for his opinion I would take what he said on the chin. If it was the first thing he said when I walked into the room, I'd tell him to go fuck himself."

I agree with this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

Autism isn't a mental illness.

I found this on another site-

A lot of well-meaning people will then say “But how would you feel if someone said that to you?” and get the response, “Well, it would be true. Why would I feel down?”

1) not autistic

2) I (not making it about me) accept that some people's feeling will get hurt. But we live in a snowflake society where even, saying they don't look good in a nice way will send them into a spiral. "

1) Not sure what you mean. I'm not saying that *you* are autistic, I was answering your comment about mental illness. My friend at work that the OP is about is possibly autistic, we don't know for sure. That's why I posted the information from the other site.

2) Yes, I agree with this. Some people do get upset even if you're being tactful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

Autism isn't a mental illness.

I found this on another site-

A lot of well-meaning people will then say “But how would you feel if someone said that to you?” and get the response, “Well, it would be true. Why would I feel down?”

1) not autistic

2) I (not making it about me) accept that some people's feeling will get hurt. But we live in a snowflake society where even, saying they don't look good in a nice way will send them into a spiral.

2) Yes, I agree with this. Some people do get upset even if you're being tactful. "

Why not just ask then?

Whats really gonna happen? He's either gonna say yes or no.

Or maybe he's just not empathetic like some people aren't.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

Sounds like he's on the autistic spectrum to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a stranger is blunt in this way they just show themselves up as a narcissistic idiot. Why? Because they foolishly imagine their words have a grandiose weight... they don't... they're a stranger

If a friend is blunt like this I would assume they're pissed off and ask what's up. Why? Because being blunt like this is usually a good indicator of someone who's a bit pissed off with something in their life.

If this person is just like this with everyone I'd assume they're autistic or something. As they lack any awareness of social dynamics

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind?

Because most people can manage to be tactful. There's no reason to be bluntly honest about everything. If you can't judge when to use a bit of tact and diplomacy then you lack judgement or empathy.

Still doesn't make them mentally ill. Just makes them oblivious to peoples feelings.

Autism isn't a mental illness.

I found this on another site-

A lot of well-meaning people will then say “But how would you feel if someone said that to you?” and get the response, “Well, it would be true. Why would I feel down?”

1) not autistic

2) I (not making it about me) accept that some people's feeling will get hurt. But we live in a snowflake society where even, saying they don't look good in a nice way will send them into a spiral.

2) Yes, I agree with this. Some people do get upset even if you're being tactful.

Why not just ask then?

Whats really gonna happen? He's either gonna say yes or no.

Or maybe he's just not empathetic like some people aren't. "

It would be rude to ask him because he's not a close friend, he's a work colleague. It's a personal question.

I think he is empathetic because he showed caring for my friend's health.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If a stranger is blunt in this way they just show themselves up as a narcissistic idiot. Why? Because they foolishly imagine their words have a grandiose weight... they don't... they're a stranger

If this person is just like this with everyone I'd assume they're autistic or something. As they lack any awareness of social dynamics "

Yeah I agree with this. Some lads called me a fat old cow from their car yesterday, I smiled and said thank you. Never seen them before, they are entitled to their opinion.

As for the pissed off friend, I agree with that too. Had a very angry colleague that was always blunt and rude to people. She was going through some really bad shit at home so she was lashing out at friends because she couldn't say anything at home for fear of getting her head kicked in. She was angry at being hurt and just needed to be heard and not be invisible.

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By *egasus NobMan over a year ago

Wandsworth

People love to hear lies and deceive themselves, but honesty get crucify. However they are gentler ways to say things.

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By *umpkinMan over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

I met a guy once who was slightly mentally retarded. He got banned from a swinger`s forum because of what he wrote which should have been funny. Unfortunately he couldn`t grasp using emoticons to express he was joking so his tongue in check comments were seen as being insulting. Perhaps your friend is similar?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jesus Christ he be lucky to get out alive calling a women fat these days lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd think he's a complete knob. There are ways of saying things and that's not the way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chances are they aren't telling me something I don't already know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I wouldn't say out the blue that dress is too tight on you but if someone asks me outright I'm not going to lie. I have found people appreciate it tho. The people more honest with me the closer I am to them x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Unless id asked his opinion then he shouldnt be rude. If id of asked his opinion thats different"

Yep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chances are they aren't telling me something I don't already know "

Exactly. And if theres not much immediatly you can do about it, keep it to themselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit. "

Maybe they're good friends and don't want to hurt your feelings?? If you can't deal with that then find others...but if you know the truth anyway why ask them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

That's the difference between being honest (when asked) and being an utter cunt ( to refer back to the thread on the Scottish forum

)

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

You wouldn't look fat in any dress.. or out of one

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

"If a stranger is blunt in this way they just show themselves up as a narcissistic idiot. Why? Because they foolishly imagine their words have a grandiose weight... they don't... they're a stranger

If this person is just like this with everyone I'd assume they're autistic or something. As they lack any awareness of social dynamics "

I agree. At least being autistic gives a reason for the rude blunt way of talking to people. Means you can be understanding and not take offence I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

Must be the wellies shepards jacket...

And ringing kit

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do people think that someone is mentally ill, when in reality they just speak their mind? "

autism isn't a mental illness.. get your facts straight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you". "

If under 10 years old, that's cool. Over 10 he needs to learn how to be tactfull. Or accept being alone in the world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

If under 10 years old, that's cool. Over 10 he needs to learn how to be tactfull. Or accept being alone in the world. "

I'd be telling my kids off for saying things like that and they're under 10. they're socially adept enough to know not to say things like that to people. Adults that don't have problems have no excuse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

Must be the wellies shepards jacket...

And ringing kit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!"

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

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By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days. "

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people. "

Thanks for clearing it up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people. "

But some still are cunts, yes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i would reply, your dress to loose

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By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?"

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people. "

What would your opinion be on the OP?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

Yes talk about missing the point!! Well done.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Then they are sociopath or are a psycho.

Not at all. They just don't really care if they hurt someone's feelings."

Where’s our facepalm emoji?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

What would your opinion be on the OP?"

That he’s someone who made a comment, which by all means seems to have been well intentioned but misguided.

You can’t diagnose a stranger based on a post on a swinging forum that’s come from a third party.

You can’t diagnose anyone full stop without being qualified and in the right setting. I think there’s far too much “oh they must have this” “I bet they’re that” these days.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

Yes talk about missing the point!! Well done. "

And what point, pray tell, have I missed? I don’t see the OP asking anyone to diagnose this friend of theirs. Simply asked how others would deal with that kind of behaviour.

And actually, as an adult, Autistic or not the behaviour should be dealt with in the same way. You don’t give an automatic pass just because someone may have some social awkwardness. No one learns that way.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

Yes talk about missing the point!! Well done.

And what point, pray tell, have I missed? I don’t see the OP asking anyone to diagnose this friend of theirs. Simply asked how others would deal with that kind of behaviour.

How should their behaviour be dealt with?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

Yes talk about missing the point!! Well done.

And what point, pray tell, have I missed? I don’t see the OP asking anyone to diagnose this friend of theirs. Simply asked how others would deal with that kind of behaviour.

Love it when it kicks off between two women, think we’ve got a live one here!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have a good mate who's just like that.

Any sentence that starts with "I'm not being funny but..." makes me fear for whatever is about to come out of his mouth. We go out drinking quite regularly and honestly I'm amazed he's never been decked

Top bloke though, one of my best and longest friends and I love him to bits.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit.

Maybe they're good friends and don't want to hurt your feelings?? If you can't deal with that then find others...but if you know the truth anyway why ask them? "

You don't always know tho. I was on holiday and put a skirt on. I had lost a bit of weight and thought the skirt was fine on me. I put it on and said what do you think. One of my friends said aww that's lovely...the other said it does nothing for you wear your trousers. I know for a fact both of them felt the same but only one of them would have let me put the skirt on knowing it wasn't the greatest fit. Guess which one I'm closer to x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?"

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"There seem to be a lot of armchair psychologists on this thread.

You can’t and shouldn’t assume someone is autistic just because they’re blunt.

That’s a serious overgeneralisation and shows a massive lack of understanding of what autism is.

Not all Autistic people lack the understanding that other people have feelings and get hurt by certain comments.

This thread started off as a general question and descended into mostly utter rubbish, assumptions and overgeneralisations about Autism and Autistic people.

But some still are cunts, yes?

That’s like saying some Scottish people are cunts, some German, some French blah blah blah

There are cunts from all walks of life. But way to miss the point

Yes talk about missing the point!! Well done.

And what point, pray tell, have I missed? I don’t see the OP asking anyone to diagnose this friend of theirs. Simply asked how others would deal with that kind of behaviour.

How should their behaviour be dealt with?"

How would you deal with it? If it offends you, tell them. If it doesn’t bother you then no big deal.

Works for everyone. If someone asks why it’s offensive, explain.

Life really doesn’t need to be as complicated as people make it. I don’t get people keeping quiet when someone has upset them, regardless of who it is or what’s happened. Unless you tell them, they’re not gonna know they’ve upset you. Unless upsetting you was their intention. In which case, tell them they’re a dick and move on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

Well, I'm on and off.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How should their behaviour be dealt with?"

Depends on circumstances, but I would point out that the bluntness is rude, maybe even cruel.

Used to tell my children "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing" but of course that advice is wrong if the response was a direct and honest answer to a question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would much rather someone be upfront, blunt and honest than thinking one thing themselves but saying another. That's just pointless.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit.

Maybe they're good friends and don't want to hurt your feelings?? If you can't deal with that then find others...but if you know the truth anyway why ask them?

The person who said the skirt was lovely then said that it wasn't?

I look fat in clothes because I'm fat, I'm not concerned about that. I rarely ask people to comment on what I'm wearing - I chose to wear it and I have a lot to choose from. Sometimes people will comment, both positive and negative, about the same outfit. That's they're view. My experience is that, with me, people generally say nothing if they want to spare feelings and don't like the outfit.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then."

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale"

None of those would bother me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me."

I would be deeply offended by all of these aforementioned comments.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"None of those would bother me."

Bully for you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me."

I don't let them bother me either, but I know for a fact some women would be deeply offended.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"None of those would bother me.

Bully for you."

What's your point?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me."

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

I don't let them bother me either, but I know for a fact some women would be deeply offended."

But you said it was banter and people are far too easily offended. Do you think it's ok to say those kinds of things to people?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"None of those would bother me.

Bully for you.

What's your point?"

That you don’t have one.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that. "

Like what?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"None of those would bother me.

Bully for you.

What's your point?

That you don’t have one."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale"
i wouldnt go to work expecting to be spoken to like that thats for sure

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale"

Your work colleagues sound like a bunch of cunts...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ringles0510Woman over a year ago

Central Borders

I'd fully expect my friends to tell me when I've gone wrong ( although that really never happens

) and I'd do the same for them. Obviously discretely and not shout it out with other people around x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit.

Maybe they're good friends and don't want to hurt your feelings?? If you can't deal with that then find others...but if you know the truth anyway why ask them?

The person who said the skirt was lovely then said that it wasn't?

That's a good point about their view, I might think I look like shit but they might like it.

The OP was about a comment totally out of the blue that wasn't asked for in any way. The first sentence in a conversation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

Your work colleagues sound like a bunch of cunts..."

They can be, but loveable c*nts st times too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)

I would take someone like that over "aww babe you look great" when you clearly don't

I have this type of relationship with my friends and Mr

I'd love to have you as a friend! My friends are all the 'aww babe you look great' types when I clearly look like shit.

Maybe they're good friends and don't want to hurt your feelings?? If you can't deal with that then find others...but if you know the truth anyway why ask them?

The one that fancies you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what? "

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

What is wrong with you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale"

Do your colleagues fucking have eyes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?"

I actually feel sorry for you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?

I actually feel sorry for you.

You’re what the French call Les incompetents

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

Your work colleagues sound like a bunch of cunts..."

Is ok. It's only banter and I'm in the wrong allegedly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?

I actually feel sorry for you.

You’re what the French call Les incompetents "

Bloody nice bloke Les, he does lovely baguettes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?

I actually feel sorry for you.

You’re what the French call Les incompetents

Bloody nice bloke Les, he does lovely baguettes. "

Don’t talk about baguettes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You love to pick at people. You do it all the time. Your example above as one sentence clearly means nothing. But putting together all your comments, your constant digs at people, your snide comments, it all adds up to something very unpleasant.

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

"
i dont see any of that in his postings. But we all interpret things differently. I think hes a really funny guy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

i dont see any of that in his postings. But we all interpret things differently. I think hes a really funny guy"

That's what he wants you to think.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

No, but what actually is wrong with you!?

I actually feel sorry for you.

Sorry, thought that was someone else. Must look at the avatar before commenting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

I think you need to lighten up. Wanna meet for coffee sometime ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

i dont see any of that in his postings. But we all interpret things differently. I think hes a really funny guy

That's what he wants you to think.

I want people to think I’m a funny guy ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

Do your colleagues fucking have eyes"

They all have 2 each, though one of them did ask to borrow my glasses today

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

I can think of other posters who dig at people and make snide comments. A couple of them you defend.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

I can think of other posters who dig at people and make snide comments. A couple of them you defend. "

Who?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

Do your colleagues fucking have eyes

They all have 2 each, though one of them did ask to borrow my glasses today

What exactly is your point though? I don't get it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

IT’S A TRAP!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"IT’S A TRAP!"

Fuck!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All my work colleagues are blunt with me. I get slated every day for the way I look, but hey, I take no notice. I know I have a few admirers too though which counterbalances the insults.

That sounds mean, is it as bad as it sounds?

Nah... no one would put up with that day in day out!

It's what you call banter, people are far too easily offended these days.

Right... so not as serious as you made it sound. Thanks for clarifying! Who's offended?

Would you like me to type some of the things they say to me?

Go on then.

Fat bitch, ugly cow, thunder thighs, beached whale

None of those would bother me.

And yet lighthearted tongue in cheek comments on here, your on the defensive, funny that.

Like what?

I called you my little ray of sunshine this morning and you replied ‘what is wrong with you?’

You don't intimidate me in any way shape or form. In real life you may be a really nice guy.

I think you need to lighten up. Wanna meet for coffee sometime ?

You're too far away.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"IT’S A TRAP!"

Oh, they’re all here now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"IT’S A TRAP!

Fuck!!!

Sorry, I thought I’d get my post in straight after the one above yours.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of passive aggressive comments on here, come on spit it out you lot !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"IT’S A TRAP!

Fuck!!!

Sorry, I thought I’d get my post in straight after the one above yours."

If you use the Quote button people know who you're replying to.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Really? Wow. I never knew that. Amazing.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I have a friend that is very blunt when he talks to people. He says things like "you look like you've put loads of weight on, that dress is too tight on you".

Some people are really offended by him- they think he's very rude and mean. I think he's oblivious and is just stating the truth as he sees it. Much the same as saying "you are wearing a blue dress".

How would you deal with someone like that?

(This person does exist but he's not on here.)"

If I had have asked ‘him’ for his opinion then it’s fair to say I should expect an honest answer. However if he just gave me his opinion without being asked it I would consider him a rude man and ask him to leave me alone. I wouldn’t want rude people like that in my circle of friends, he needs to sort his attitude out.

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