FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Male love gurus, riddle me this..
Male love gurus, riddle me this..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No way to know.
Players will tell you what you want to hear then fuck you off.
A serious guy looking for a relationship will tell you what you want to hear too but without the fucking off.
Erm, good luck |
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You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it. "
And no man just wanting a leg over would ever ask those sort of questions?
Let's just face it. It's impossible to tell. You either believe someone at their word or you don't. Neither belief will impact on their actions. |
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"You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it.
And no man just wanting a leg over would ever ask those sort of questions?
Let's just face it. It's impossible to tell. You either believe someone at their word or you don't. Neither belief will impact on their actions. "
Well I know I wouldn't. Lots of guys won't invest the time or effort into something if not genuinely interested. If a guy does well no wonder women think we are all cunts.
Guess I just see/do things differently. Life is too short for dicking someone around just to get your rocks off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it.
And no man just wanting a leg over would ever ask those sort of questions?
Let's just face it. It's impossible to tell. You either believe someone at their word or you don't. Neither belief will impact on their actions.
Well I know I wouldn't. Lots of guys won't invest the time or effort into something if not genuinely interested. If a guy does well no wonder women think we are all cunts.
Guess I just see/do things differently. Life is too short for dicking someone around just to get your rocks off."
I dont disagree with you, not at all. But it's just a fact isn't it. You see it day in and day out on here as well as in real life.
There are people who will do/say whatever they want to to get what they want and others who will speak the truth, and until you find out their true intentions there's just no way to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes you have to go with your gut instinct, I am sure there are plenty of women on here who can spot a player a mile off just by the way he is.
If someone is not prepared to put the time and effort into another person then it's a definite none starter.
I personally prefer to actually get to know someone before sleeping with them, call me old fashioned, but for good stimulating sex you have to be able to stimulate the mind as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just shag everyone, one is bound to stay in the end.
Truly wise and emotive words. *wipes away single tear*"
Honestly mate, I have no idea where the words come from, It just flows naturally from me  |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I have friends on here that I’ve met several times. I have a couples profile with one of them and we meet when we can.
I’m not sure what your looking for but I do have a very good friendship with some of them and the friendships have lasted years. They just evolve, nothing is really discussed or planned. We just clicked from the start and took it from there.
Don’t have any expectations and you won’t be let down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it.
And no man just wanting a leg over would ever ask those sort of questions?
Let's just face it. It's impossible to tell. You either believe someone at their word or you don't. Neither belief will impact on their actions.
Well I know I wouldn't. Lots of guys won't invest the time or effort into something if not genuinely interested. If a guy does well no wonder women think we are all cunts.
Guess I just see/do things differently. Life is too short for dicking someone around just to get your rocks off."
I just don't wanna be that guy. I've thought about it, but I know that if I slept with a lass and then fucked her off afterwards I'd feel guilty about it.
I'd rather be in a relationship because emotional intimacy is more important than sex to me, but if I only ever met one person off here and it became a regular thing, I'd be happy with that. I'm not looking to fuck hundreds of women, I'd settle for just one. |
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"You can normally tell if the guy is genuinely interested by how much he gives in the likes of time and emotion. His reactions to certain things also his interest in trying to learn about you as a person and not just the sexual aspect of it.
And no man just wanting a leg over would ever ask those sort of questions?
Let's just face it. It's impossible to tell. You either believe someone at their word or you don't. Neither belief will impact on their actions. "
Sad but true. A narcissist for instance can deceive someone for years simply to get his 'supply', nothing to do with regard for you, though it might feel for all the world like that. Many have been devastated at every stage of the 'game'. In such circumstances it would be better to be dumped after one shag than used for years! |
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It's a tough one as some will say and do whatever to get sex.
I met Jack here and without sounding corny ,we knew it was different to previous meets.
Jacks the total opposite of many men and I suspect women, in that he's so upfront and open.I don't trust easily at all,but I trusted him very quickly and believed what he told me.
Sorry I know that's not much help,just wanted to show good ones do exist.
Miss |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have friends on here that I’ve met several times. I have a couples profile with one of them and we meet when we can.
I’m not sure what your looking for but I do have a very good friendship with some of them and the friendships have lasted years. They just evolve, nothing is really discussed or planned. We just clicked from the start and took it from there.
Don’t have any expectations and you won’t be let down. "
Very good post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t think it’s anything that your doing. It’s the guys that haven’t been clear or honest with you. Stick to your guns and persue what the looking for. The right person will come along x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
If it's the right guy, or much more importantly, someone you who wants what you want then when you have sex is completely irrelevant.
Don't use sex as a bargaining tool or part of some kind of deal. Definitely don't use sex as some kind of validation.
Being used is often a mindset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is, fundamentally, a place where people join for sex.
I wouldn't expect a monogamous relationship from anyone from here. "
I want a relationship should I meet the right guy but not a sexually monogamous one, only emotionally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Words they're important they open and sometimes close doors.
Sometimes words come easy, sometimes they don't. They can hurt and heal, bring pain and joy, flatter and deceive.
Words are sometimes easy, but they often tell half a story. And on a platform where words drive much interaction they can confuse, confound, bring as much smoke as clarity, and often don't mean what others read into them.
Words are complex just like people.
If words alone are not enough then look to actions. Actions that match words ....they are more real.
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"Generalising massively here but men want to fuck, women want to nest.
I've given up searching for a relationship. Going to get my rocks off until/if one turns up  "
This "Generalising"
Depend on what type of relationship you want to develop, FWB I'd guess most guys will be up for that. You're a beautiful bird I'm sure 85% guys that lay their eyes on you want to shag your brain out. As a couple not sure most guys will be up for that. Your situation is different I'd personally find it hard to be in a partnership relation with a woman that has a kid.
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
Relationships is like fishing you have to use the right type of bait for the right fish there were probably loads of fish swimming around your bait but you are not interested in finding out what they are like and so dismiss them 4 any reason if they don't match up to your high standard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is, fundamentally, a place where people join for sex.
I wouldn't expect a monogamous relationship from anyone from here.
I want a relationship should I meet the right guy but not a sexually monogamous one, only emotionally. "
You might find him on here. The OP wants the full monogamous one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Relationships is like fishing you have to use the right type of bait for the right fish there were probably loads of fish swimming around your bait but you are not interested in finding out what they are like and so dismiss them 4 any reason if they don't match up to your high standard"
Thanks Swiss Tony |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
"
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach. |
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"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
Say what you're looking for and get to know them for a while first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach. "
That's what I want out of this. I'd prefer to have a relationship, but in the meantime I'd be perfectly happy just to have one FWB. I'd sooner have one person that I know all about than a hundred people I know nothing about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is, fundamentally, a place where people join for sex.
I wouldn't expect a monogamous relationship from anyone from here.
I want a relationship should I meet the right guy but not a sexually monogamous one, only emotionally.
You might find him on here. The OP wants the full monogamous one. "
I’m kinda focusing on someone from here at the moment but it’s a slow process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No way to know.
Players will tell you what you want to hear then fuck you off.
A serious guy looking for a relationship will tell you what you want to hear too but without the fucking off.
Erm, good luck "
Don’t hate the player hate the game  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach. "
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No way to know.
Players will tell you what you want to hear then fuck you off.
A serious guy looking for a relationship will tell you what you want to hear too but without the fucking off.
Erm, good luck
Don’t hate the player hate the game "
I don't hate. But it's the truth isn't it, nothing to do with fab or the game or sex. Just human nature unfortunately.
You want to know what someone's really thinking? You'd better be fucking psychic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is, fundamentally, a place where people join for sex.
I wouldn't expect a monogamous relationship from anyone from here.
I want a relationship should I meet the right guy but not a sexually monogamous one, only emotionally.
You might find him on here. The OP wants the full monogamous one.
I’m kinda focusing on someone from here at the moment but it’s a slow process. "
Some people fall immediately, some take time for the attraction to grow.
My long term partner gradually got closer and closer then, a few months ago, told me he loved me. Shocked the shit out of me after 8 years of a sex only relationship.
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"
If words alone are not enough then look to actions. Actions that match words ....they are more real.
"
Yup, and that's about the best way to spot a pretender - if ever there is incongruity between words and actions, believe the actions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?"
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now. |
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"
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
"
Yup, and that is often still the fundamental difference between men and women IMO, what we want to do while waiting for 'the one'! |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now. "
So 8 years ago, what made you join a swingers site? Did you ever want to try swinging? Or were you looking for casual hookups back then? |
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"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
How about being just by being a great shag and a lovely girl.
Do that and I guarantee you’ll have no problems. Most men only run when they get the first sniff that a girl is has the potential to turn into a crank.
And if that fails, I’ll step in.
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach. "
If you are looking for that one person on here that might be the problem, I know I'm generalising but you come across of having a certain type of Man you go for, The top end of the market, and I would say most of them are on here to have sex with more then one Woman and not looking to settle down, But you could probably say that about 90% of the single people on fab,
Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now. "
That’s silly to think that. I’m 47 and on them. I have been married and also had a few other very long relationships. Me and my husband broke up 3 years ago. I’m not embarrassed by that, we are still really good friends so not all bad. It happens. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now.
So 8 years ago, what made you join a swingers site? Did you ever want to try swinging? Or were you looking for casual hookups back then?"
Right well 8 years ago I met a guy on pof who was adamant he didn't want a relationship but was happy to sleep with me on weekends and stay over each other's houses. One weekend he told me about this place so I said I'd join to widen my search net, in the mean time this guy started to want more but still wouldn't give me the title so I kept looking, then I was getting messages off guys who seemed to say all the right things and just made me feel suspicious, one morning I looked on his laptop at his images and saw all these guys pictures with the date coinciding with when these profiles had messaged me. I woke him up and he admitted to making these profiles which were threatening to out me if I didn't leave here, I left his house and that was that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now.
So 8 years ago, what made you join a swingers site? Did you ever want to try swinging? Or were you looking for casual hookups back then?
Right well 8 years ago I met a guy on pof who was adamant he didn't want a relationship but was happy to sleep with me on weekends and stay over each other's houses. One weekend he told me about this place so I said I'd join to widen my search net, in the mean time this guy started to want more but still wouldn't give me the title so I kept looking, then I was getting messages off guys who seemed to say all the right things and just made me feel suspicious, one morning I looked on his laptop at his images and saw all these guys pictures with the date coinciding with when these profiles had messaged me. I woke him up and he admitted to making these profiles which were threatening to out me if I didn't leave here, I left his house and that was that. "
Oh wow and it didn’t scare you off here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right well 8 years ago I met a guy on pof who was adamant he didn't want a relationship but was happy to sleep with me on weekends and stay over each other's houses. One weekend he told me about this place so I said I'd join to widen my search net, in the mean time this guy started to want more but still wouldn't give me the title so I kept looking, then I was getting messages off guys who seemed to say all the right things and just made me feel suspicious, one morning I looked on his laptop at his images and saw all these guys pictures with the date coinciding with when these profiles had messaged me. I woke him up and he admitted to making these profiles which were threatening to out me if I didn't leave here, I left his house and that was that. "
That is fucking shady. So he told you about the site and then decided later on he wanted more but didn't want to call you his girlfriend? Instead of being a total dick threatening to out you, he should have just said yes. From the sounds of it you would have left the site. What a prick, glad you got shot of him. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now.
So 8 years ago, what made you join a swingers site? Did you ever want to try swinging? Or were you looking for casual hookups back then?
Right well 8 years ago I met a guy on pof who was adamant he didn't want a relationship but was happy to sleep with me on weekends and stay over each other's houses. One weekend he told me about this place so I said I'd join to widen my search net, in the mean time this guy started to want more but still wouldn't give me the title so I kept looking, then I was getting messages off guys who seemed to say all the right things and just made me feel suspicious, one morning I looked on his laptop at his images and saw all these guys pictures with the date coinciding with when these profiles had messaged me. I woke him up and he admitted to making these profiles which were threatening to out me if I didn't leave here, I left his house and that was that. "
Thats awful
But why did you join?
You say you were widening your search net, but searching for what?
He wanted more but not prepared to give you the title.... probably why he set up the fake profiles.
Do you think you just wanted to make him a bit jealous, make him think if he doesnt snap you up somebody else will?
|
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"Just shag everyone, one is bound to stay in the end.
Truly wise and emotive words. *wipes away single tear*
Honestly mate, I have no idea where the words come from, It just flows naturally from me "
That's funny. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach.
And theres no harm in that. I did say fuck them if you want to.
I dont think there is a magic formula to finding the right one, you just need to go with the flow a bit. Don't get all heavy and clingy, understand that he is probably on here for non monogamous sex, its what the site is about really.
Just out of interest... what made you choose this site? Fabswingers doesn't really scream long lasting love and monogamy does it?
I joined here 8 years ago and then I just stayed. I've only slept with 6 guys from here in all that time!
I should be on conventional dating sites but I'm kind of embarrassed to be seen on them by people in my area cos it feels like at my age I should have my shit together and have someone by now.
So 8 years ago, what made you join a swingers site? Did you ever want to try swinging? Or were you looking for casual hookups back then?
Right well 8 years ago I met a guy on pof who was adamant he didn't want a relationship but was happy to sleep with me on weekends and stay over each other's houses. One weekend he told me about this place so I said I'd join to widen my search net, in the mean time this guy started to want more but still wouldn't give me the title so I kept looking, then I was getting messages off guys who seemed to say all the right things and just made me feel suspicious, one morning I looked on his laptop at his images and saw all these guys pictures with the date coinciding with when these profiles had messaged me. I woke him up and he admitted to making these profiles which were threatening to out me if I didn't leave here, I left his house and that was that. "
That's awful and your definitely well rid of him. Sounds a bit stalkerish tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ask them what they're after. It might help you sniff out the bullshit a bit quicker depending on how they answer. Some will be honest and some will lie so then it comes down to if you believe them or not. |
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If I am in a relationship with a man it tends to last for years. One ex did tell me that women fall into distinct categories -
those you marry
those you date
those you fuck
I see some truth in this. Well from my persective I find men fall into those categories too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!"
Good girl xx |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!"
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up "
You beat me to it with your post, it's true about the free ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up "
Yeah, maybe try an agency if they still exist, but I wouldn't bother paying on a site. There's no guarantee you're gonna get what you want off it. I've thought about joining Match, but it's hard to justify the price of it because there's no guarantee I'm gonna get anything out of it. At least with POF there's still no guarantee, but it's also free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up
Yeah, maybe try an agency if they still exist, but I wouldn't bother paying on a site. There's no guarantee you're gonna get what you want off it. I've thought about joining Match, but it's hard to justify the price of it because there's no guarantee I'm gonna get anything out of it. At least with POF there's still no guarantee, but it's also free."
Pof to me is the worst out of all of them and the most fakes I’ve encountered. I’ve not tried match but I did meet my ex hubby on dating direct which is now match. I quite like Bumble but most I’ve met have been lovely but either too vanilla or wants kids. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up
Yeah, maybe try an agency if they still exist, but I wouldn't bother paying on a site. There's no guarantee you're gonna get what you want off it. I've thought about joining Match, but it's hard to justify the price of it because there's no guarantee I'm gonna get anything out of it. At least with POF there's still no guarantee, but it's also free."
I'm on pof and all I seem to get are married guys or half of fab covering all bases lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up "
Apart from a guys that's attached (no judgement) I've only slept with 2 people multiple times and those two people I could not convert into wanting more and they're both military people the one in 2014-2016 that I met through those times and that one from last year. They must be wired differently, like I truly think they can detach themselves emotionally completely otherwise they wouldn't be able to do the job they do like being away from family and friends for long periods of time.
I'm such a dweller as well, like I go over all the stupid things I said I did and it's like why did I say those things, that's not me. Anyway, not ready for anyone at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up
Apart from a guys that's attached (no judgement) I've only slept with 2 people multiple times and those two people I could not convert into wanting more and they're both military people the one in 2014-2016 that I met through those times and that one from last year. They must be wired differently, like I truly think they can detach themselves emotionally completely otherwise they wouldn't be able to do the job they do like being away from family and friends for long periods of time.
I'm such a dweller as well, like I go over all the stupid things I said I did and it's like why did I say those things, that's not me. Anyway, not ready for anyone at the moment. "
You have to stop thinking that way. Nothing you said it did would make a difference if they were invested in you. They were low investment guys and you need to think of yourself as a high value woman more often. Listen to some of Mathew Hussey you tube videos and some of it makes sense. My friend was always blaming herself but now she listens to Mathews advice and is a completely different woman. It’s so good to see. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up
Apart from a guys that's attached (no judgement) I've only slept with 2 people multiple times and those two people I could not convert into wanting more and they're both military people the one in 2014-2016 that I met through those times and that one from last year. They must be wired differently, like I truly think they can detach themselves emotionally completely otherwise they wouldn't be able to do the job they do like being away from family and friends for long periods of time.
I'm such a dweller as well, like I go over all the stupid things I said I did and it's like why did I say those things, that's not me. Anyway, not ready for anyone at the moment.
You have to stop thinking that way. Nothing you said it did would make a difference if they were invested in you. They were low investment guys and you need to think of yourself as a high value woman more often. Listen to some of Mathew Hussey you tube videos and some of it makes sense. My friend was always blaming herself but now she listens to Mathews advice and is a completely different woman. It’s so good to see. "
I'll take a look. I like watching stuff before I go to bed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!
Good call. Forget the free ones though, half this site is on them too. Try a proper agency or paid for service where they match you to people who meet your criteria and you meet theirs.
Stay here of course for the forum banter.
I really hope somebody lovely comes along for you and you dont mess it up
Apart from a guys that's attached (no judgement) I've only slept with 2 people multiple times and those two people I could not convert into wanting more and they're both military people the one in 2014-2016 that I met through those times and that one from last year. They must be wired differently, like I truly think they can detach themselves emotionally completely otherwise they wouldn't be able to do the job they do like being away from family and friends for long periods of time.
I'm such a dweller as well, like I go over all the stupid things I said I did and it's like why did I say those things, that's not me. Anyway, not ready for anyone at the moment.
You have to stop thinking that way. Nothing you said it did would make a difference if they were invested in you. They were low investment guys and you need to think of yourself as a high value woman more often. Listen to some of Mathew Hussey you tube videos and some of it makes sense. My friend was always blaming herself but now she listens to Mathews advice and is a completely different woman. It’s so good to see.
I'll take a look. I like watching stuff before I go to bed. "
He’s easy on the eye also. I’m a little addicted and a little in love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think they’d be interested in you as a whole person, getting to know you and letting you know them. They’d display a degree of vulnerability with you that would increase. They’d show a willingness to ‘overlook’ your foibles and demonstrate through their actions they like you as you are. You’ll feel increasingly comfortable in each other’s presence and love just being together |
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"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
Just enjoy the ride, mr rights out there somewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
"
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off) |
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"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off) "
I like that I'm going to remember it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it."
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company |
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"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company"
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?"
Forgetting? Or having to cancel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wonder if how you (for anyone in general) feel attracts a certain person. Say if you are unsettled and stressed out would that reflect in conversations/ meetings/ relationships with someone or if you are totally at ease with yourself and ready for a relationship would that then be reflected?
|
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"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?"
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you. "
I totally agree and if he isn’t then move on!!! Don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want you!! It obviously wasn’t meant to be!! Sometimes I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit!!! I struggle with believing I’m an attractive woman... but sometimes I have to physically say out loud... I am sexy... I am attractive (although don’t expect everyone to like me) and you know what if you don’t want me that’s fine because there will be someone who does and in the meantime I shall lots of fun finding them!!!
Try not to let it get you down... easier said then done!!! Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting."
Turn away and don’t look back. It might have been a genuine reason but it’s so easy to contact someone and explain and apologise. If you weren’t important enough to remember then it’s not a good omen. If he was genuinely excited and looking forward to it so much he would have been planning his day round making sure he had time to get shower and changed to look his best for meeting you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
It's true. And it cuts like a knife.  "
It does, but it saves me so much heartache down the line. I do put it much more diplomatically with friends!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
I totally agree and if he isn’t then move on!!! Don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want you!! It obviously wasn’t meant to be!! Sometimes I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit!!! I struggle with believing I’m an attractive woman... but sometimes I have to physically say out loud... I am sexy... I am attractive (although don’t expect everyone to like me) and you know what if you don’t want me that’s fine because there will be someone who does and in the meantime I shall lots of fun finding them!!!
Try not to let it get you down... easier said then done!!! Xxx"
That’s a really good attitude! I totally believe that positive affirmations work, too. We’re so unkind to ourselves sometimes and we tend to go against our gut, which we should listen to |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
There is no easy answer, just keep looking. I suspect if these guys came from here they were not looking for a serious relationship in the first place so look elsewhere for romance. |
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"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting.
Turn away and don’t look back. It might have been a genuine reason but it’s so easy to contact someone and explain and apologise. If you weren’t important enough to remember then it’s not a good omen. If he was genuinely excited and looking forward to it so much he would have been planning his day round making sure he had time to get shower and changed to look his best for meeting you."
Excellent,thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
I totally agree and if he isn’t then move on!!! Don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want you!! It obviously wasn’t meant to be!! Sometimes I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit!!! I struggle with believing I’m an attractive woman... but sometimes I have to physically say out loud... I am sexy... I am attractive (although don’t expect everyone to like me) and you know what if you don’t want me that’s fine because there will be someone who does and in the meantime I shall lots of fun finding them!!!
Try not to let it get you down... easier said then done!!! Xxx
That’s a really good attitude! I totally believe that positive affirmations work, too. We’re so unkind to ourselves sometimes and we tend to go against our gut, which we should listen to "
Absolutely!! In the past I’ve allowed people to make me think the problem was me and completely drain all self esteem and confidence ... I still struggle now but I won’t chase anymore.. it has to be a two way thing!! And I’m worth more then that!! That should be the same for men as women!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting.
Turn away and don’t look back. It might have been a genuine reason but it’s so easy to contact someone and explain and apologise. If you weren’t important enough to remember then it’s not a good omen. If he was genuinely excited and looking forward to it so much he would have been planning his day round making sure he had time to get shower and changed to look his best for meeting you.
Excellent,thankyou."
I’m no expert mind |
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"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting.
Turn away and don’t look back. It might have been a genuine reason but it’s so easy to contact someone and explain and apologise. If you weren’t important enough to remember then it’s not a good omen. If he was genuinely excited and looking forward to it so much he would have been planning his day round making sure he had time to get shower and changed to look his best for meeting you.
Excellent,thankyou.
I’m no expert mind "
Just wanted to confirm that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?
Forgetting? Or having to cancel?
No forgetting,like the following day forgetting.
Turn away and don’t look back. It might have been a genuine reason but it’s so easy to contact someone and explain and apologise. If you weren’t important enough to remember then it’s not a good omen. If he was genuinely excited and looking forward to it so much he would have been planning his day round making sure he had time to get shower and changed to look his best for meeting you.
Excellent,thankyou.
I’m no expert mind
Just wanted to confirm that's all."
I’ve always found you to be insightful and switched on so happy to help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So basically there is no way of knowing!
The right type of guy will be keen to know about you and all parts of your life and not try and twist things round to sex. They will want to take care of you and reassure you. Check you get home ok after a date (if they don’t drop you off)
I like that I'm going to remember it.
Glad it makes sense.
They should also just be happy and excited (not sexually) to be in your company
So what's your feeling on someone forgetting to turn up for your first date?"
The most likely is that he has misrepresented himself or doesn't fancy you. The truth is that even if he didn't want any form of relationship, he'd still be motivated by the chance of sex to meet you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you. "
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours. "
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also. "
Finally, a women on this thread who's starting to think like a guy.
Most men are not as complicated as most women believe we are. It's a lot more simple than many make it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think when they show more of an interest in you as a person rather than you as a penis pocket.
"
You won't be a penis pocket for long if he's not interested in you as a person. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours. "
This... Forgive me if Im wrong but I get the impression the OP has a habit of being a little too full on too soon. Decent men will want to respect you. Be independant, not clingy. Have your own life and don't try to be in his all the time. Try playing it cool.
So you want monogamy? Be monogamous then, he doesn't need to know, carry on chatting and meeting socially, NOT to play games and make him jealous, do it because you are an independant social woman and do not require his blessing to carry on being so... and he should do the same, without you getting all silly about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah it's not about that guy though. I understand why he did it and there's no bad feeling on my part.
When I first joined here under the name of ClamClub I used the cam chat rooms for about two years, that's how I met Adam this guy from up North back end of 2012 and was kind of seeing him for 18 months but South Wales to Hull was a hell of a treck and money for both of us so knocked that on the head but still speak now and friends still.
Then I suppose I stayed here for the forums and just feel comfy here.
I seriously think though that pretty soon I'm gonna have to start trying conventional dating sites but armed with the wisdom of fab!"
im single and would re locate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also. "
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the only way to find somebody is to stop looking for them.
Meet whoever you fancy. Fuck them if you want to. Fuck several... have a hareem .
The keeper will begin to stand out from the crowd, just dont rush to make it anything more than fun.
But there lies the problem, sleeping with lots of people isn't my idea of fun. I really don't want to have sex with lots of different men, just the same one over and over again.
There's no one on the cards yet anyway so when the next man who takes my interest comes along I need a fresh approach. "
I hate to point out the obvious but you are in the wrong venue (fab) for what you want.
You sure seem like girlfriend material so just persevere and be patient.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
Finally, a women on this thread who's starting to think like a guy.
Most men are not as complicated as most women believe we are. It's a lot more simple than many make it."
I’ve been listening to the dating guru, Matthew Hussey. He makes a lot of sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc. "
I’m way too keen as I have a lot of spare time. I have 6 nights in St Lucia with Work this week and have been on my phone most of it. It’s easier when I’m at home as I’m more busy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc. "
Do you really think guys don't know when a women is doing this? I'm too sophisticated to fall for this playground nonsense, you should be too sophisticated to try it.
Be sincere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc.
Do you really think guys don't know when a women is doing this? I'm too sophisticated to fall for this playground nonsense, you should be too sophisticated to try it.
Be sincere."
I think some men and women can be needy. It comes across and puts some others off them. I don’t mean play games. I mean manage your own expectations better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc.
Do you really think guys don't know when a women is doing this? I'm too sophisticated to fall for this playground nonsense, you should be too sophisticated to try it.
Be sincere.
I think some men and women can be needy. It comes across and puts some others off them. I don’t mean play games. I mean manage your own expectations better. "
I couldn't agree with you more. Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I found this to be a difficult and confusing topic.
from the perspective that I have never intentionally looked for love.
Personally if i were to find myself single I would not want any relationship. Equally I would not contact any females that have made it clear that this is what they want, expect or need.
From what I have read over the last few days here on the forums, having expectations seems to be troublesome leading to feeling vulnerable, deceived and betrayed.
These are such destructive emotions I can understand why people end up feeling that it's best to just surrender.
I have no words of advice, other than agreement with Poochiepoo etc.
Focus on being you and best of luck with your search.
|
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"If I am in a relationship with a man it tends to last for years. One ex did tell me that women fall into distinct categories -
those you marry
those you date
those you fuck
I see some truth in this. Well from my persective I find men fall into those categories too."
Never thought about it from a woman's perspective.
Guess i'm fuck/marry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think they’d be interested in you as a whole person, getting to know you and letting you know them. They’d display a degree of vulnerability with you that would increase. They’d show a willingness to ‘overlook’ your foibles and demonstrate through their actions they like you as you are. You’ll feel increasingly comfortable in each other’s presence and love just being together"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Meet a guy and fuck him straight off the bat, said guy then thinks you're easy and the chase is over blah blah blah
Meet a guy, get to know him, spend time with him, make him wait a while before fucking, they adapt and play the long game and still sack you off after the deed.
So what does someone who would want a relationship do because both scenarios end up with the same result.
How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
"
Biological drive ..next question |
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"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also.
I think it’s good not to be too available. Don’t instantly reply to texts etc.
Do you really think guys don't know when a women is doing this? I'm too sophisticated to fall for this playground nonsense, you should be too sophisticated to try it.
Be sincere."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them. "
I suspect this is a myth and if it isn't it mostly is... so it's not worth dwelling on. Most women and men equally yearn for intimate companionship. I believe most date looking for that. But there's a few things going on here...
1) Searching for something and finding something require totally different mindsets. The latter requires a decision to decamp and stop searching. Many people get too into searching and think it will eventually lead to finding. But it doesn't. It's just the same with spiritual searching.
2) The guy who has sex with you then disappears or the guy who waits, makes friends a bit, has sex and leaves... neither of those were necessarily only looking for sex. They were maybe looking for something je ne sais quoi. And it just didn't happen for them so they thought, rather than fuck you around, best to move on.
Someone else had probably said all this but I thought I'd quickly chip in whilst I was passing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The advice I have to friends, and myself is that if a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you.
That's almost right. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend time with you IF you are sophisticated enough to let it happen at his pace rather than yours.
I agree with this. Also when guys say they are busy, they may actually be busy. It doesn’t mean you are not a priority, it means you are not a priority NOW! Make yourself busy and enjoy life, guys find that more attractive. You will have more to talk about also. "
Totally this!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you tell which guys are looking for a relationship and wouldn't care if you fucked straight away, from the guys that only want sex no matter how much effort or time you put into them.
I suspect this is a myth and if it isn't it mostly is... so it's not worth dwelling on. Most women and men equally yearn for intimate companionship. I believe most date looking for that. But there's a few things going on here...
1) Searching for something and finding something require totally different mindsets. The latter requires a decision to decamp and stop searching. Many people get too into searching and think it will eventually lead to finding. But it doesn't. It's just the same with spiritual searching.
2) The guy who has sex with you then disappears or the guy who waits, makes friends a bit, has sex and leaves... neither of those were necessarily only looking for sex. They were maybe looking for something je ne sais quoi. And it just didn't happen for them so they thought, rather than fuck you around, best to move on.
Someone else had probably said all this but I thought I'd quickly chip in whilst I was passing "
Well said mate |
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