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the things you do to look after your kids,
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By *riskygaz OP Man
over a year ago
birmingham |
Well my daughter has been with a guy about 18 months now, your first impression would be if you seen him, chav! will have been in and out of prison and on benefits all his life, and my daughter asked if they could move in with me because they had no where else to go, I really don't want him here but had to say yes so I know my daughter is safe. the lazy fucker has done nothing but laze around the bedroom and sit in the garden smoking for the last 3 days, wish she would wake up and see the total looser he is and dump him. Not sure how long this is going to work out for. |
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Say nothing and be there for her: been there, done that. The enamel has gone from my teeth from grinding so much and my tongue sore from biting it...but worth it as my daughter finally came to her senses and our relationship remains in tact.
Just annoys me he's in the family photo taken at her graduation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say nothing and be there for her: been there, done that. The enamel has gone from my teeth from grinding so much and my tongue sore from biting it...but worth it as my daughter finally came to her senses and our relationship remains in tact.
Just annoys me he's in the family photo taken at her graduation. "
Photoshop him out. It's easy |
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"Well my daughter has been with a guy about 18 months now, your first impression would be if you seen him, chav! will have been in and out of prison and on benefits all his life, and my daughter asked if they could move in with me because they had no where else to go, I really don't want him here but had to say yes so I know my daughter is safe. the lazy fucker has done nothing but laze around the bedroom and sit in the garden smoking for the last 3 days, wish she would wake up and see the total looser he is and dump him. Not sure how long this is going to work out for."
So basically you're first impression would be correct. You need to put your foot down and stop giving them a free ride. Either he gets a job, looks for a job or does stuff around the house to show respect for it. You are currently enabling his behaviour. |
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"So basically you're first impression would be correct. You need to put your foot down and stop giving them a free ride. Either he gets a job, looks for a job or does stuff around the house to show respect for it. You are currently enabling his behaviour. "
I agree with above comment
while your feeding them and giving them a free ride he wont do a thing.
if they lived on there own or had to fend for themselves.
she just may see the light and do something about it.
for the moment thats not going to happen not while they are both there.
hard though it may sound you need to sit both down and lay your own laws down if they dont like it.
and add to it they may have to leave, you may be called all the names under the sun.
but make sure she understands you will be there for her, even if you have to bite the bullet and take some food for them buy it not give them money. |
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"Well my daughter has been with a guy about 18 months now, your first impression would be if you seen him, chav! will have been in and out of prison and on benefits all his life, and my daughter asked if they could move in with me because they had no where else to go, I really don't want him here but had to say yes so I know my daughter is safe. the lazy fucker has done nothing but laze around the bedroom and sit in the garden smoking for the last 3 days, wish she would wake up and see the total looser he is and dump him. Not sure how long this is going to work out for."
There is sooooo much countryside out there to bury a body.
Just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lay down some ground rules now, if they are going to live under your roof (rent free?) then they must contribute to household tasks etc. If you let the behaviour continue then it will just get worse, before you know it he will have taken over your spot on the sofa!
You love your daughter of course you do and saying something might be incredibly hard for you and you don’t want to see her upset but I wish my parents had said something to me sooner about my ex husband and not wait until we split up to say we never liked him (we never lived with them btw), it will be hard.
Geeky x |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
How old are they?
Sit them down and set the ground rules. They need to understand life is not a free ride. They need to be working and contributing to the day to day running of the house, even if they are paying 'rent'.
Would his parents tollerate his behaviour. Maybe they have done and he knows no better.
You are only 3 days in.... get those ground rules set early. |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Well my daughter has been with a guy about 18 months now, your first impression would be if you seen him, chav! will have been in and out of prison and on benefits all his life, and my daughter asked if they could move in with me because they had no where else to go, I really don't want him here but had to say yes so I know my daughter is safe. the lazy fucker has done nothing but laze around the bedroom and sit in the garden smoking for the last 3 days, wish she would wake up and see the total looser he is and dump him. Not sure how long this is going to work out for."
Put your foot down. Tell them they need to pay you rent and also contribute towards the gas, electric and water bills. Yell them they need to buy their own food. Also that he needs to be actively looking for a job and not laying in bed all day. If he's staying in then he can do jobs around the house be it washing the dishes, hoovering, gardening or anything else. Most importantly tell them it's your house and they either follow your rules or get out.
Mr2  |
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By *riskygaz OP Man
over a year ago
birmingham |
I agree with a lot of what you are all saying, if the situation continues and looks like they intend just lazing around the bedroom all day I will be telling them to get of their arse and do something. as for rent they are going to see if they can claim some benefit to pay towards it, not sure if that will work or not, I don't want to be signing any contract giving him a right to stay when I might want to chuck him out.
my daughter was at college and doing well till this toser came along, f**k knows what she see's in him, if you seen him begging for change on the street he would look right at home in that situation.
I know it will come to a crunch and probably have my daughter falling out with me for a while  |
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Stuff that!
My kids are 11 & 16 & I don’t allow them to sit in their rooms all day - they have rooms to keep tidy, a dog to walk, lawns to mow, a dishwasher & washing machine to load & unload. They are left a list of jobs to work through depending on their homework.
You’re being taken for a ride!!!
B x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's going to end with you having to ask them to leave, it's not going to work I am afraid to say. He is taking you for a ride and maybe your daughter is too.
They won't be able to claim rent to pay you because she is family. Tell them, tell them right now to sling their hooks. I get that she's your daughter but she's a grown up not a child and must take responsibility for her own life. They have already set the behaviour pattern and I,m sorry to say it's likely to continue that way. |
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"Well my daughter has been with a guy about 18 months now, your first impression would be if you seen him, chav! will have been in and out of prison and on benefits all his life, and my daughter asked if they could move in with me because they had no where else to go, I really don't want him here but had to say yes so I know my daughter is safe. the lazy fucker has done nothing but laze around the bedroom and sit in the garden smoking for the last 3 days, wish she would wake up and see the total looser he is and dump him. Not sure how long this is going to work out for.
There is sooooo much countryside out there to bury a body.
Just saying"
just make sure you dig the hole first because someone may come along and then you will have two holes to dig. |
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