FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Guys flaking out / ghosting
Guys flaking out / ghosting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few lasses ghost me too. Its just that either some are fake or that they are there for the fantasy.
Or they could be attached amd can't get away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Yes in picking the wrong ones, it also happens to us guys too on here,veri's doesn't matter still ghosting on day of meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
They must be mad. You are stunning xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Maybe have another look at your selection process?
Not blaming you but the type of thing you are wanting speaks (to me) of being objectified and maybe this could be why?
And basically, yes, some men are fantasists and just use this site as wank fodder x |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
I have no idea why they "No show"
I'd be there like a shot.  |
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Sorry to hear it- yes, plenty of fantasists on here, but there are some diamonds. I've found arranging a social quite quickly cuts down on wasting time- though I do arrange them near my fave library so I have something else to do in case of no-shows  |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Look at your selection process. Suggest
1 initial contact via Fab
2 talk on phone to eliminate time wasters
3 minimise ‘flirtatious chat’ until meet and don’t flirt with any one without talking to them on the phone first.
4 arrange social or meet
5 confirm meet couple days ahead and on day
6 meet
For phone suggest cheap sole use phone just for Fab.
Doing the above eliminates most fantasists and time waters. But not all
Good luck
K2
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Take all the advice above to make sure your not talking to fakes or fantasists I suppose. Or, keep being you, those that want to meet you, will.
You can’t make someone meet up with you if they don’t want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well that sort of behaviour is not exclusive to men.
A lot of people are only on here for an ego boost without having little or even no consideration for other people's feeling. That's the unfortunate burden on that sort of website.
Having said that if you can spot bs...this website has some gems. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had it happen once on here. I had done all the usual, I ageed to meet because I had seen him occasionally post in the forum. He had 2 veris. We had messaged a little, I had refrained from flirting. Arranged a social even down to where to park on the day. The day before all confirmed. On the day sent a message - nothing. I always send a message before setting off as much for there sake as well as mine so they know I will turn up. Got no reply. I didn't set off, never heard from him again.
So sometimes even with the most stringent selection process a Knob can get through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well that sort of behaviour is not exclusive to men.
A lot of people are only on here for an ego boost without having little or even no consideration for other people's feeling. That's the unfortunate burden on that sort of website.
Having said that if you can spot bs...this website has some gems. "
Totally agree with F&B.... you just have to keep wading through the bs.. sometimes you think you’ll have found someone and you’ll still be let down... unfortunately it’s part of the territory of this site!!! Hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well that sort of behaviour is not exclusive to men.
A lot of people are only on here for an ego boost without having little or even no consideration for other people's feeling. That's the unfortunate burden on that sort of website.
Having said that if you can spot bs...this website has some gems. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've come across this a couple of times...
It's only really bothered me once. One guy only lives a couple of mile away! Gorgeous! And we saw each other outside the shop, he messaged later saying all the right things, arranged to meet and nothing, stopped replying.
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Your choosing the wrong guys.
I'd meet you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat..."
I trust my gut feeling every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
I trust my gut feeling every time. "
Yep. It’s pretty much always right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat..."
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts! "
It’s totally fool proof |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Could be any number of reasons OP including your very specific interest and the boundaries I'm guessing that come with it.
Am also guessing part of that interest may also mean you like the "immediacy" of it so no socials or connection/chemistry is built up first? Which will increase your chances of finding timewasters/ghosters.
Know you say you can't travel, but perhaps you should consider clubs as an option, either as a place to meet pre-arranged meets (so if they don't turn up you have other options), or somewhere to find the meets you're looking for. There are a number of clubs within a relatively short distance from you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts! "
I can't imagine going through the process if chatting to a woman on here, then after getting to know her and arranging a meet to then flake out with a lame ass excuse or not being able to meet for x reason. Everyone's time us valuable, let's not waste it by not meeting for rumpy pumpy time!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts! "
Why the abusive language? If they didn't agree to the phone call you didn't have your time wasted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!
Why the abusive language? If they didn't agree to the phone call you didn't have your time wasted. "
If you’ve a problem with my language, please feel free to ignore it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!
It’s totally fool proof "
I’ll certainly be using it from now on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!
It’s totally fool proof
I’ll certainly be using it from now on!"
#CuntFilters |
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Assuming that you haven't got the fantasists, there are just some people who treat others as disposable, almost without worth, so don't particularly care much what they leave in their wake. And there are others who have other commitments which they attend to, almost as if you don't exist - it's a respect thing, not just about priorities.
Become less impersonal, so avoid texts, instead do voice chatting - and it's easier to gauge their uncertainty this way. Avoid the flirty, sexy stuff, as others point out.
You do just get better at realizing who is more dependable over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!
Why the abusive language? If they didn't agree to the phone call you didn't have your time wasted.
If you’ve a problem with my language, please feel free to ignore it.
"
No problem here, it's a genuine question. He did you a favour- you didn't leave the house for a meet that wasn't going to happen. I'd be happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Same...I won't chat to anyone without decent veris but because I insist on a social first most will agree,but go quiet as the meet gets nearer  |
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Happens a lot, more than the meets I have I guess. But it’s never actually got to the point of me leaving the house, as I always ask them to message to say they are leaving. But why they can’t have a pair of balls and say I’m not coming is what annoys me, just don’t/won’t speak again! The advice I’ve picked up from this thread is avoid sexy chat, I do try to do this, but sometimes get led astray! So will deffo be more assertive with the no’s next time, so thanks guys. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I don’t do the chatting in the phone. I was ghosted on Saturday. Arranged to meet, had swapped numbers and we’d texted. Arranged to meet but he never responded to any text messages to confirm that we were still meeting.
It’s a shame we can’t give a bad verification andvguve people a black tick.
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts!
Why the abusive language? If they didn't agree to the phone call you didn't have your time wasted.
If you’ve a problem with my language, please feel free to ignore it.
No problem here, it's a genuine question. He did you a favour- you didn't leave the house for a meet that wasn't going to happen. I'd be happy. "
But they still contacted the person seeking a meet with no intention of ever meeting. Hence they waste people’s time and clog up the mail box.
As stated we find talking on the phone eliminates 99% of time wasters because if they find it hard to arrange a time to talk in the phone. Then actually meeting will be all but impossible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for advice, I've changed my profile also to be more clear it's more frustrating as I don't have a huge amount of free time to be naughty lol x |
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Well you have some great pics op!
All I can add to what’s already been said is that you’re just offering oral meets, yes?
I’d imagine therefore that if the offer of ‘full sex’ came up then they’d leave you high and dry. I know I would if I were a guy - but I’d have the decency to let you know rather than ghosting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps it's the nature of this site.
If we treat people like commodities then when something more shiny comes along all anyone has lost is some pixels in the ether.
If people get cancelled or ghosted often enough then eventually they will do the same just like any other learned behaviour.
If we are made to feel valueless then why would we value others
Negativity creates negativity ....
And yes OP it happens to others too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it's the nature of this site.
If we treat people like commodities then when something more shiny comes along all anyone has lost is some pixels in the ether.
If people get cancelled or ghosted often enough then eventually they will do the same just like any other learned behaviour.
If we are made to feel valueless then why would we value others
Negativity creates negativity ....
And yes OP it happens to others too.
"
Very much this! It's an endless abusive cycle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it's the nature of this site.
If we treat people like commodities then when something more shiny comes along all anyone has lost is some pixels in the ether.
If people get cancelled or ghosted often enough then eventually they will do the same just like any other learned behaviour.
If we are made to feel valueless then why would we value others
Negativity creates negativity ....
And yes OP it happens to others too.
Very much this! It's an endless abusive cycle. "
Ignoring is a polite ‘no thank you’. Is t it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps it's the nature of this site.
If we treat people like commodities then when something more shiny comes along all anyone has lost is some pixels in the ether.
If people get cancelled or ghosted often enough then eventually they will do the same just like any other learned behaviour.
If we are made to feel valueless then why would we value others
Negativity creates negativity ....
And yes OP it happens to others too.
Very much this! It's an endless abusive cycle.
Ignoring is a polite ‘no thank you’. Is t it? "
No I think it's rude. I don't do it and I very rarely get abuse.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say that was ghosting, I'd just say that was guys changing their mind. I feel to be properly ghosted is when you've met that person and had quite a lot of interaction and time spent with them and then all of a sudden they disappear with no explanation.
Initial conversing via messaging on here without having much emotional investment is just down to guys changing their mind or getting a better offer or any other reason at all there couldn't be 100's
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
No, you're not doing anything wrong. I think the thought of getting their balls emptied is enough to arrange a meet then they have a wank/encounter someone offering more.
You've stated they've been verified, as you've found that means shit. If you're going to use the verification system note what meet says. If they all state he could lick pussy for hours, couldn't wait to get naked, could fuck like a power hammer action drill then I'd wager what you're offering isn't enough and they'll disappear for a "better" offer.
Don't be disheartened, there's someone for everyone here so good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
For balance though my only planned meet so far, this weekend in fact, was progressing really well, sexy messaging and hotel booked as I was traveling to London, but then the lady in question just ghosted me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
"
Before I go any further, do you suggest other people’s threads, or other people are making women less attracted to you? That’s how I read this.
Or, do you mean putting women off using this site? |
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I suspect that many people - and I have to say especially men - set up single profiles when they're obviously in relationships.
They come on Fab behind the other half's back for the wank fodder and many/most couldn't get away even if they wanted to. Or if they could they will always be prone to "Where are you going? We're supposed to be doing xxxx today."
I remain a fan of making it harder to use Fab to deter timewasters. You should only be able to message if you are fully paid up and picture verified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who the fuck doesn't turn up for a no strings BJ with guaranteed facial, that guy doesn't deserve to have a cock."
A guy who also has another offer of a BJ and NSA fuck probably. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I always ask to speak on the phone now. Each time it’s always the one I suspect is flakey who makes some excuse as to why he can’t chat...
Just tried this out a few weeks ago, and just as you described.
C**ts! "
That's like some genius level thinking right there. |
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"I suspect that many people - and I have to say especially men - set up single profiles when they're obviously in relationships.
They come on Fab behind the other half's back for the wank fodder and many/most couldn't get away even if they wanted to. Or if they could they will always be prone to "Where are you going? We're supposed to be doing xxxx today."
I remain a fan of making it harder to use Fab to deter timewasters. You should only be able to message if you are fully paid up and picture verified."
Because time wasters don't have money or cameras.
Some people have bad luck some of us manage to use the site to our advantage. If I had to pay/be photo verified I'd leave and still find playmates. No guarantee those struggling on a free site will increase their chances on a paid one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s shit when it happens whoever has a meet cancelled!! Whether male or female... it is hard not to become cynical on a site like this... but you have to take the rough with the smooth!!
Just because it’s sex doesn’t give people the right not to be respectful or courteous!! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I've been 'ghosted' many times it's irritates the hell out of me. When they get in touch I very rarely respond.
I don't know if this has been said but sometimes I think these guys find a gf so don't bother with fab and then when it all goes wrong come back and think they can pick up where they left on here!. Don't. Think. So. Dickbrain!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
Before I go any further, do you suggest other people’s threads, or other people are making women less attracted to you? That’s how I read this.
Or, do you mean putting women off using this site?"
Inconsiderate men potential putting women off with their ghosting, definitely not the former. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s shit when it happens whoever has a meet cancelled!! Whether male or female... it is hard not to become cynical on a site like this... but you have to take the rough with the smooth!!
Just because it’s sex doesn’t give people the right not to be respectful or courteous!! "
Whole heartedly agree, where's the smooth bit section though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly this is not ghosting......
This is called a fall back plan.
This guy made a tentative date with the Op.
Something ...like I’m going out with my friends and I can meet you after. Now he knows he has a definite blow job no matter how his night goes.
He then looks for a better offer. If something better comes along he goes with that offer. If not he meets the Op.
His only bad move was not texting the Op when he accepted the better offer.
I know this is a man bashing , let’s cheer up the Op thread. But couples in America do this all the time. Make plans with single guys , but break them if a single female or Couple comes along..
It’s a two way street.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
Before I go any further, do you suggest other people’s threads, or other people are making women less attracted to you? That’s how I read this.
Or, do you mean putting women off using this site?
Inconsiderate men potential putting women off with their ghosting, definitely not the former."
Inconsiderate people. Always a certain sex getting a finger pointed at them trying to pin a certain trait as a whole is what I here when I read these threads.
But yes, I agree, stories like these can put people off. I like hearing and reading good stuff.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
Before I go any further, do you suggest other people’s threads, or other people are making women less attracted to you? That’s how I read this.
Or, do you mean putting women off using this site?
Inconsiderate men potential putting women off with their ghosting, definitely not the former.
Inconsiderate people. Always a certain sex getting a finger pointed at them trying to pin a certain trait as a whole is what I here when I read these threads.
But yes, I agree, stories like these can put people off. I like hearing and reading good stuff.
"
A new woman could read threads like these and think fuck that, I'm off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although completely valid this sort of thread really does frustrate and depresse in equal measures because I find it difficult enough getting a meet without some men on here leading and putting women off.
Before I go any further, do you suggest other people’s threads, or other people are making women less attracted to you? That’s how I read this.
Or, do you mean putting women off using this site?
Inconsiderate men potential putting women off with their ghosting, definitely not the former.
Inconsiderate people. Always a certain sex getting a finger pointed at them trying to pin a certain trait as a whole is what I here when I read these threads.
But yes, I agree, stories like these can put people off. I like hearing and reading good stuff.
A new woman could read threads like these and think fuck that, I'm off. "
That’s a big issue. Certain days are filled with horror stories or the worst side of fab and how people can be in general. And it reminds us of why interacting with new people can turn out to be shit.
Some days this place is filled with good vibes and can really look like a good group of people to get to know.
I know which way I would like to be welcomed to something new. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not bashing men I think it's just rude if people can't send a simple message to say they can't make it, if a definite meet up has been planned x
I'm sure it happens to everyone and I do understand that men (especially 'single' men) probably have a far tougher time on here xx |
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May I share this experience of our weekend meet. We advertised on Saturday night a club meet for Sunday. Received about 3/4 messages from guys we never heard of before and around 8 winks. None of the above turned up - very small club, so i can say with some assurity. Had fun with a couple of guys. One a club regular and the other a guy i later discovered had looked at our profile during the day. His own profile - minimalistic to say the least!
I’ve spent hours, days even in the past messaging people to arrange meets. Mostly it’s not worth the effort, making clubs far more attractive. |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"Who the fuck doesn't turn up for a no strings BJ with guaranteed facial, that guy doesn't deserve to have a cock.
A guy who also has another offer of a BJ and NSA fuck probably."
That's just poor diary management though, should give them a time slot each then everyone's happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who the fuck doesn't turn up for a no strings BJ with guaranteed facial, that guy doesn't deserve to have a cock.
A guy who changed his mind.
Decided he had gone off blow jobs?  "
Perhaps they fear they will get performance anxiety, being filmed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? Lol.
Anyone who has / will meet me is going to have a happy ending, am I just choosing the wrong guys or are 80% of you fantasists who will never follow through?
I know I'm not gods gift to men on earth but its making me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong "
Op, given that you are looking for a specific thing, it may be a little more difficult to secure a meet. I'm sure some will get a little nervous, close to meet time or as some have said, are more engaged in the fantasy than the reality. That being said, there will be some who will love to do this. Keep plugging and make sure those you communicate with are meet verified with multiple meets.... It's not fool proof, but hopefully it will help. Good luck in your search OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I’d never believe any verified people by meets even if they seem very genuine, I always request video chat it’s best way, you see exactly who your meeting and vice versa, I’ve seen women who join and have 20 verified meets but they been on the site a day ??? Just be safe I know it’s fun but it’s no fun at all when your putting yourself at risk, just my opinion safest option video chat it’s 2018 everyone can afford a 30£ phone even those have video function |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I’d never believe any verified people by meets even if they seem very genuine, I always request video chat it’s best way, you see exactly who your meeting and vice versa, I’ve seen women who join and have 20 verified meets but they been on the site a day ??? Just be safe I know it’s fun but it’s no fun at all when your putting yourself at risk, just my opinion safest option video chat it’s 2018 everyone can afford a 30£ phone even those have video function "
That could be down to having a previous profile mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who the fuck doesn't turn up for a no strings BJ with guaranteed facial, that guy doesn't deserve to have a cock.
A guy who changed his mind.
Decided he had gone off blow jobs? "
No. Gone off the op. |
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