FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feelings
Feelings
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
A conversation with a friend made me consider this ...
Do you show your feelings openly?
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve or do you push your feelings up your sleeve?
I used to be the former but now I am very much the latter, I guess it's a form of self preservation for me!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
I'm a man.
I don't have feelings.
Except when watching a sad film. Blub my eyes out then.
All other feelings I tend to keep hidden in case they are not reciprocated, been caught out before sadly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A conversation with a friend made me consider this ...
Do you show your feelings openly?
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve or do you push your feelings up your sleeve?
I used to be the former but now I am very much the latter, I guess it's a form of self preservation for me!!
"
Push up sleeve currently. I come across as an extrovert in outside life, so if something is bothering me it's obvious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am a heart on the sleeve kind of person, and I’m probably too open. I allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and then end up being hurt, so I’m trying to be much more heart up the sleeve, protect myself a bit more in that respect. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wear a thin sensitive skin but I’m very strong emotionally. I’m emotionally expressive but also more discerning about how much I disclose, when and to whom. I am less trusting than I was. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ad Ive grew older, I’m much more open with my feelings. Or, I sit and deal with an internal conflict. Call it ‘suppressing’ or ‘hiding’ my feelings, either way when I speak them out loud or share them. Even writing them down for song lyrics, I find them much things much easier, a little like cleaning the house. I can either sit with all the crap around me or I can tidy up. (A wierd analogy I know  )
I’m more open than I was. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?! "
Ice Maiden, great username?!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!
Ice Maiden, great username?! "
Ya think? Shall I change it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m really open. Probably too open. There’s never any doubt how I feel about anything. I’m very demonstrative and show the people I care about and love just how much I do, a lot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm a man.
I don't have feelings.
Except when watching a sad film. Blub my eyes out then.
All other feelings I tend to keep hidden in case they are not reciprocated, been caught out before sadly. "
I think that's probably why I now keep my feelings in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"I'm a man.
I don't have feelings.
Except when watching a sad film. Blub my eyes out then.
All other feelings I tend to keep hidden in case they are not reciprocated, been caught out before sadly.
I think that's probably why I now keep my feelings in"
 x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feelings.... hmmm i think i had one once. It hurt if i remember rightly so i won't be doing that again."
Nah... you're getting confused with the time you caught yer banjo string in her zip....
These kind of feelings are goooooooood |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!
Ice Maiden, great username?!
Ya think? Shall I change it? "
Only if you have the appropriate attire, will inbox you a pic!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It depends on the feelings and who is around.
I tend to be shy with my feelings of affection until I know for sure it's reciprocated. I guess that can be an issue in that I might not be easy to read at first and seem disinterested.
I'm not so good at expressing other emotions. I'm a bit of a bottler and put a happy front on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A conversation with a friend made me consider this ...
Do you show your feelings openly?
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve or do you push your feelings up your sleeve?
I used to be the former but now I am very much the latter, I guess it's a form of self preservation for me!!
Push up sleeve currently. I come across as an extrovert in outside life, so if something is bothering me it's obvious."
Even when hiding my feelings, my mother knows which can get annoying sometimes!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!
Ice Maiden, great username?!
Ya think? Shall I change it?
Only if you have the appropriate attire, will inbox you a pic! "
You wearing it? I know you're straight but fancy flickng ma bean.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rjpinkMan
over a year ago
winterfell |
"Feelings.... hmmm i think i had one once. It hurt if i remember rightly so i won't be doing that again.
Nah... you're getting confused with the time you caught yer banjo string in her zip....
These kind of feelings are goooooooood "
Oooooh now that does bring back painful memories... banjo snapped a long time ago... don't mind me while i rock in the corner.....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!
Ice Maiden, great username?!
Ya think? Shall I change it?
Only if you have the appropriate attire, will inbox you a pic!
You wearing it? I know you're straight but fancy flickng ma bean.."
Actually, best offer I’ve had this morning.
I’ll start swimming! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am a heart on the sleeve kind of person, and I’m probably too open. I allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and then end up being hurt, so I’m trying to be much more heart up the sleeve, protect myself a bit more in that respect. "
I used to be that way but one too many hurts made me change how I dealt with them... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feelings.... hmmm i think i had one once. It hurt if i remember rightly so i won't be doing that again.
Nah... you're getting confused with the time you caught yer banjo string in her zip....
These kind of feelings are goooooooood
Oooooh now that does bring back painful memories... banjo snapped a long time ago... don't mind me while i rock in the corner.....
"
Been there too - first time I used a condom - what a bloody mess  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wear a thin sensitive skin but I’m very strong emotionally. I’m emotionally expressive but also more discerning about how much I disclose, when and to whom. I am less trusting than I was."
I trust very few people nowadays, I used to trust anyone and learned the hard way.
Now I only really trust family and people I know VERY well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I'm an open book, in real life anyway....not so much on here.
In general I think this has always worked in my favour. I'm often described as warm and approachable though one guy at work used to call me the Ice Maiden but he was a prick so who gives a fuck?!
Ice Maiden, great username?!
Ya think? Shall I change it?
Only if you have the appropriate attire, will inbox you a pic!
You wearing it? I know you're straight but fancy flickng ma bean..
Actually, best offer I’ve had this morning.
I’ll start swimming!"
You'll still be swimming when you get here! ( Insert soggy fanny emoji) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rjpinkMan
over a year ago
winterfell |
"Feelings.... hmmm i think i had one once. It hurt if i remember rightly so i won't be doing that again.
Nah... you're getting confused with the time you caught yer banjo string in her zip....
These kind of feelings are goooooooood
Oooooh now that does bring back painful memories... banjo snapped a long time ago... don't mind me while i rock in the corner.....
Been there too - first time I used a condom - what a bloody mess "
What a 'blood gushing out of my nob' mess... my least favourite type of message. Aaaahhh its all flooding back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am a heart on the sleeve kind of person, and I’m probably too open. I allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and then end up being hurt, so I’m trying to be much more heart up the sleeve, protect myself a bit more in that respect.
I used to be that way but one too many hurts made me change how I dealt with them..."
Sucks doesn’t it. It’s a horrible feeling when you are really open with someone, bare your soul, and then things go pear shaped. Feels like a kick in the guts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wear a thin sensitive skin but I’m very strong emotionally. I’m emotionally expressive but also more discerning about how much I disclose, when and to whom. I am less trusting than I was.
I trust very few people nowadays, I used to trust anyone and learned the hard way.
Now I only really trust family and people I know VERY well "
I go through a trust building process that is much more discerning now with people I meet. I am wary of warning signs in their behaviour now, much more than I was, that enables me to make safer decisions about what I disclose and to whom. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker. "
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feelings.... hmmm i think i had one once. It hurt if i remember rightly so i won't be doing that again.
Nah... you're getting confused with the time you caught yer banjo string in her zip....
These kind of feelings are goooooooood
Oooooh now that does bring back painful memories... banjo snapped a long time ago... don't mind me while i rock in the corner.....
Been there too - first time I used a condom - what a bloody mess
What a 'blood gushing out of my nob' mess... my least favourite type of message. Aaaahhh its all flooding back "
Let’s get back on topic  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down."
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am a heart on the sleeve kind of person, and I’m probably too open. I allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and then end up being hurt, so I’m trying to be much more heart up the sleeve, protect myself a bit more in that respect.
I used to be that way but one too many hurts made me change how I dealt with them...
Sucks doesn’t it. It’s a horrible feeling when you are really open with someone, bare your soul, and then things go pear shaped. Feels like a kick in the guts."
Absolutely right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t share my feelings very much at all. At times I must come across as stand offish but I’m not, I just have never been good at showing I’m vulnerable. I think it’s a heightened sense of self preservation, I think if I like someone I’m more tactile than anything else.
Even with family and friends I don’t do feelings, doesn’t mean I don’t love people I do just that I’m not comfortable with saying or showing it x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down.
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down"
Said person sounds like a right dick. It’s awful that someone made you feel like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker. "
Would love to be able to do that but I tend to shy away from any conflict at all. All I do is cry even if im feeling pissed off not sad, then cant get the right words out  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down.
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down
Said person sounds like a right dick. It’s awful that someone made you feel like that."
Agreed but I guess I invited it by being open with my feelings... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rjpinkMan
over a year ago
winterfell |
I do struggle with my feelings these days.. after youve been hurt a few times i think you can switch off a bit.. probably as a bit of a self defence mechanism.. or maybe you get too tired to give a shit any more... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think I’m pretty much heart on my sleeve. And I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it opens me up to a bit of hurt sometimes.
I agree about maybe being better at reciprocating my feelings if I think there are some the other way though. Probably because most of the time if I have had feelings they haven’t been reciprocated.
Reminds me a bit of a line in a James song:
—-
Is the power of love worth the pain of loss
—-
I probably fall in the yes, absolutely camp.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always thought I simmered and seethed until the people at work said that I was so obvious when I liked or didn’t like something - they said I let everyone know. I thought I was a dark horse in that respect. No self awareness there! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always thought I simmered and seethed until the people at work said that I was so obvious when I liked or didn’t like something - they said I let everyone know. I thought I was a dark horse in that respect. No self awareness there! "
It's all about self awareness these days and I think this is why I made big changes...
I also think it's partly why I joined here, it means I don't need to worry about feelings developing... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m generally open, if you try and numb certain feelings they all get numbed and I don’t want that."
That’s really true I think. Coincidentally was watching the new Queer Eye the other night, and one of the gang was saying the exact same thing to the guy they made over. He’d shit himself out from people a bit, and he said to him about how you can’t numb one emotion down, as you end up numbing them all down.
And as I said above, I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it was a bit of hurt. Even with that we can feel alive, and hopefully learn and grow as people.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m generally open, if you try and numb certain feelings they all get numbed and I don’t want that.
That’s really true I think. Coincidentally was watching the new Queer Eye the other night, and one of the gang was saying the exact same thing to the guy they made over. He’d shit himself out from people a bit, and he said to him about how you can’t numb one emotion down, as you end up numbing them all down.
And as I said above, I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it was a bit of hurt. Even with that we can feel alive, and hopefully learn and grow as people.
"
I have grown as a person since putting the brakes on mine...different strokes for different folks eh?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"I’m generally open, if you try and numb certain feelings they all get numbed and I don’t want that.
That’s really true I think. Coincidentally was watching the new Queer Eye the other night, and one of the gang was saying the exact same thing to the guy they made over. He’d shit himself out from people a bit, and he said to him about how you can’t numb one emotion down, as you end up numbing them all down.
And as I said above, I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it was a bit of hurt. Even with that we can feel alive, and hopefully learn and grow as people.
"
I sometimes cry when watching queer eye. So I'd say I show my feelings openly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down.
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down
Said person sounds like a right dick. It’s awful that someone made you feel like that.
Agreed but I guess I invited it by being open with my feelings..."
You really didn't invite it. Another person may have reciprocated those feelings lovely. It really was him. I understand the need to guard your heart, but please don't guard it so ferociously , that you potentially miss out on someone who will make your feelings worth it. Don't let his dismissal have that much power over you and your future happiness. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rjpinkMan
over a year ago
winterfell |
"I’m generally open, if you try and numb certain feelings they all get numbed and I don’t want that.
That’s really true I think. Coincidentally was watching the new Queer Eye the other night, and one of the gang was saying the exact same thing to the guy they made over. He’d shit himself out from people a bit, and he said to him about how you can’t numb one emotion down, as you end up numbing them all down.
And as I said above, I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it was a bit of hurt. Even with that we can feel alive, and hopefully learn and grow as people.
I sometimes cry when watching queer eye. So I'd say I show my feelings openly "
Who doesnt!!! Queer eye cuts deep |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker. "
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down.
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down
Said person sounds like a right dick. It’s awful that someone made you feel like that.
Agreed but I guess I invited it by being open with my feelings...
You really didn't invite it. Another person may have reciprocated those feelings lovely. It really was him. I understand the need to guard your heart, but please don't guard it so ferociously , that you potentially miss out on someone who will make your feelings worth it. Don't let his dismissal have that much power over you and your future happiness. "
Strangely this person was a woman, and my boss at the time. She almost pushed my to a breakdown and that is why I had to re-evaluate my life and behaviours where feelings are concerned. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
I used to be but was told once that when I did that it effects people around me and I should be more aware of how people feel when I am "down", that was the turning point for me and I knew it was time to shut down.
Just to add: said person made me feel as though my feelings don't matter and so caused my shut down
Said person sounds like a right dick. It’s awful that someone made you feel like that.
Agreed but I guess I invited it by being open with my feelings...
You really didn't invite it. Another person may have reciprocated those feelings lovely. It really was him. I understand the need to guard your heart, but please don't guard it so ferociously , that you potentially miss out on someone who will make your feelings worth it. Don't let his dismissal have that much power over you and your future happiness. "
This. Listen to this one. She speaks what I think much better than I even think it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A conversation with a friend made me consider this ...
Do you show your feelings openly?
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve or do you push your feelings up your sleeve?
I used to be the former but now I am very much the latter, I guess it's a form of self preservation for me!!
"
Depends on the situation! On here I’m hard as nails due to twonks treating me bad! In life generally I’m open and soft! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively. "
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago. "
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes, being aware of your feelings is a good thing, then you can choose the best way to unleash them "
It has taken a lot of self observation for me to learn that. A lot of hard earned upset too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot "
I talk very matter of fact about the incident but I struggle to talk about my inner feelings. I always wonder why I don’t get too upset over big things that happen. I do brush some things under the carpet and other things I’m very open about. I think I’m numb most of the time though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
I talk very matter of fact about the incident but I struggle to talk about my inner feelings. I always wonder why I don’t get too upset over big things that happen. I do brush some things under the carpet and other things I’m very open about. I think I’m numb most of the time though. "
Sounds like the person I am becoming... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago. "
Some things I’ve bottled up in the past still bother me. The things I’ve been open about like my marriage and brother have been dealt with and made me stronger. Can’t bring my brother back so have to live life as full as I can and I’m still good friends with my ex husband so that is a positive and the fact we dealt with it amicably and maturely. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place. "
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ... "
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x"
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like to maintain an air of mystery and keep my feelings to myself.
Keeps folk on their toes.
“Does she like me or does she want to throw me through that wall?” It keeps things lively |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x"
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it "
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction. "
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X"
Do they listen to you though? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ddibleMan
over a year ago
Exeter Bristol Salisbury |
I'm a contradiction. I have very thick skin: nothing shocks me and very little offends, I'm not an open book but more than happy to say how I feel and never one to hold anything back once I've let go.
It's really all down to who's company I'm in.
I like people to think I'm a nice guy when deep down I'm a bit of a c**t
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though? "
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice "
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to? "
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel things it's true. Once I thought the right thing to do was bury them in a box in a dark corner of the man cave.
It didn't make me feel any better just a little dead on the inside. But dead it's better than hurting.
Only it's not.
Very rarely someone does come along who opens that box and and sometimes that hurts too. More than they may ever know.
But if we don't dare to trust dare to dream dare to hope if we don't accept and acknowledge our feelings we just bury such an important part of us.
We may hurt break cry in the rain rage against the world or just one significant person who may have got under our skin into our hearts or blown our minds.
We are human. It's how we are made.
Feeling dead on the inside....It's not that great.
Feeling all the world can offer and all that personal stuff that sometimes even screws us up.... we are alive.
It's how we live life more fully and more in tune with others...especially those who may be important in our lives. How else would we know them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free .. "
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Probably too open but I can't display a different emotion to what I'm feeling so if I'm happy everyone will know I'm happy, if I'm sad everyone will know, if I'm pissed off everyone will know and so on and so forth.
When a new guy takes my fancy I'm going to try a different approach and not show that I like him too much. Seems like playing games to me by not showing your true feelings but I'll give it a try. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel things it's true. Once I thought the right thing to do was bury them in a box in a dark corner of the man cave.
It didn't make me feel any better just a little dead on the inside. But dead it's better than hurting.
Only it's not.
Very rarely someone does come along who opens that box and and sometimes that hurts too. More than they may ever know.
But if we don't dare to trust dare to dream dare to hope if we don't accept and acknowledge our feelings we just bury such an important part of us.
We may hurt break cry in the rain rage against the world or just one significant person who may have got under our skin into our hearts or blown our minds.
We are human. It's how we are made.
Feeling dead on the inside....It's not that great.
Feeling all the world can offer and all that personal stuff that sometimes even screws us up.... we are alive.
It's how we live life more fully and more in tune with others...especially those who may be important in our lives. How else would we know them.
"
Beautifully put and I totally agree. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Probably too open but I can't display a different emotion to what I'm feeling so if I'm happy everyone will know I'm happy, if I'm sad everyone will know, if I'm pissed off everyone will know and so on and so forth.
When a new guy takes my fancy I'm going to try a different approach and not show that I like him too much. Seems like playing games to me by not showing your true feelings but I'll give it a try. "
I try that but I end up tripping up eventually. I try to be so cool but then I text too much etc. Oops. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively. "
Taking drugs and drinking was my way at hiding from all the shit life gives u .. took me long enough 2 realise it didn't help or solve anything. I'm extremely sorry 2 hear about ya brother. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Probably too open but I can't display a different emotion to what I'm feeling so if I'm happy everyone will know I'm happy, if I'm sad everyone will know, if I'm pissed off everyone will know and so on and so forth.
When a new guy takes my fancy I'm going to try a different approach and not show that I like him too much. Seems like playing games to me by not showing your true feelings but I'll give it a try.
I try that but I end up tripping up eventually. I try to be so cool but then I text too much etc. Oops."
There's no one on the cards yet but when there is I'm just gonna try a completely different approach. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively. "
I’ve made the mistake of ‘letting others in’ and seriously regretted it as they tried to tell me what to do rather than listen to me, each to their own with telling stuff to but I sort my own problems out as I can’t do with so called friends trying to tell me how to run my life! One friend actually laughed at some of the things that happened to me in my childhood, so that I now keep a distance from her, plus my health issues she decided to buy me books, get leaflets etc which went straight in the bin! Sometimes telling people things brings on new issues but as I said each to their own!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively.
I’ve made the mistake of ‘letting others in’ and seriously regretted it as they tried to tell me what to do rather than listen to me, each to their own with telling stuff to but I sort my own problems out as I can’t do with so called friends trying to tell me how to run my life! One friend actually laughed at some of the things that happened to me in my childhood, so that I now keep a distance from her, plus my health issues she decided to buy me books, get leaflets etc which went straight in the bin! Sometimes telling people things brings on new issues but as I said each to their own! "
That’s awful and that’s a friend who clearly wasn’t capable of listening or understanding. I choose very carefully but I do find my male friends are easier to talk to as less judgmental. I often deal with things myself but sometimes I just want to get it out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm rubbish at showing my feelings. It's a case of something bad happens, take a deep breath, dust myself off and get on with it. I've always been the person to take charge and manage a situation when things are going wrong and have even had friends/colleagues say they admire that. I don't think it's the best way though as there are things I've never properly dealt with and occasionally my feelings escape in a d*unken jumble which ends up making me feel worse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively.
I’ve made the mistake of ‘letting others in’ and seriously regretted it as they tried to tell me what to do rather than listen to me, each to their own with telling stuff to but I sort my own problems out as I can’t do with so called friends trying to tell me how to run my life! One friend actually laughed at some of the things that happened to me in my childhood, so that I now keep a distance from her, plus my health issues she decided to buy me books, get leaflets etc which went straight in the bin! Sometimes telling people things brings on new issues but as I said each to their own! "
Sorry 2 hear that . I find unless somone knows what it's like too feel how ya feel they normally just say get over it or some shit .. if that makes sense .. see now I have talked about it i feel like shit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively.
I’ve made the mistake of ‘letting others in’ and seriously regretted it as they tried to tell me what to do rather than listen to me, each to their own with telling stuff to but I sort my own problems out as I can’t do with so called friends trying to tell me how to run my life! One friend actually laughed at some of the things that happened to me in my childhood, so that I now keep a distance from her, plus my health issues she decided to buy me books, get leaflets etc which went straight in the bin! Sometimes telling people things brings on new issues but as I said each to their own!
That’s awful and that’s a friend who clearly wasn’t capable of listening or understanding. I choose very carefully but I do find my male friends are easier to talk to as less judgmental. I often deal with things myself but sometimes I just want to get it out. "
Yes she was and is a nightmare, she’s lost that many friends that she now trolls the web insulting people which is wrong. I do find men easier to talk to but some go all Caveman and try to solve the problems which again is wrong. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x
I’m so sorry to hear that, it must be really tough. You can be as strong as you like but you must look after yourself also. I recently went to a meditation class and the subject that week was compassion in others, it was teaching you to put your problems aside when others are in need. Not as easy as it sounds but it was a good lesson and I took some good away.
Do you have anyone else you are close to as it would be good if you could release with someone else? x
I no exactly what you are saying and that's what I try and do every day . I will try too help /support and be there for as many people as possible. Weather i have known you for 5 mins or 5 years. I would help and support that person .. also no I don't. Spent basically all my life being a twat so for the rest of my life I will be there for anyone that needs it
Going through such a hard thing will need a release at some point. Talking on here is a baby step. Don’t bottle up things too much as believe me, they will come out at some point and you have to look after yourself first before you can look after others. I seem to be someone that people come to with things they are going through, some times I was going through worse myself but I put them first. I also think I may have been avoiding facing my own issues at the time so was a good distraction.
People use too come too me all the time when they needed somone.. the second I tell them what's going on in my life they stop talking too me as they say I have enough 2 deal with. X
Do they listen to you though?
As in when I have a problem or do they take my advice
Are they there for you when you need someone to talk to?
I'm sure they would be but I would rather help somone than be helped . Cos I'm going though he'll atm seroulsy my life is messed up . I have told a few and they are seroulsy shocked . I'm a recovering addict who is 21 months clean and they are so so supprised at how I'm still drink and drug free ..
Well done you on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. Please please please let others in and take the opportunity to talk occasionally. It will be good for you and if you want to be a great support, I can’t stress the importance enough. I lost my brother to drugs so that’s why I feel so happy to see others that have got through it positively.
I’ve made the mistake of ‘letting others in’ and seriously regretted it as they tried to tell me what to do rather than listen to me, each to their own with telling stuff to but I sort my own problems out as I can’t do with so called friends trying to tell me how to run my life! One friend actually laughed at some of the things that happened to me in my childhood, so that I now keep a distance from her, plus my health issues she decided to buy me books, get leaflets etc which went straight in the bin! Sometimes telling people things brings on new issues but as I said each to their own!
That’s awful and that’s a friend who clearly wasn’t capable of listening or understanding. I choose very carefully but I do find my male friends are easier to talk to as less judgmental. I often deal with things myself but sometimes I just want to get it out.
Yes she was and is a nightmare, she’s lost that many friends that she now trolls the web insulting people which is wrong. I do find men easier to talk to but some go all Caveman and try to solve the problems which again is wrong. "
I always do the opposite of what people tell me anyway, I’m a nightmare |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it’s rather telling that psychotherapy and counselling techniques all involve talking about things, and how they made you feel, and how the still make you feel. I’m aware of no technique in psychiatry that says, “Bottle up those feelings and don’t let them show, that’s the best way to work through them.”
I may be entirely wrong, but I doubt there are many people on their deathbeds saying, “I wish I’d hidden my emotions from people more. I wish I’d kept everybody more distant.” (I will add a proviso to this later.)
I’m pretty open about my emotions. I mean, for most of my adult life I did hide my depression and anxiety, but nevertheless, people around me would know if I was happy/sad/angry/whatever. I tend to be a cards-on-the-table person. When I’ve been dating, I’ve tended to tell people exactly what I’m thinking about them. Playing games means playing with somebody’s emotions, and that’s not good.
And that’s where the proviso comes in; I’m not sure wearing your heart on your sleeve and being open about things is s good idea if it’s going to hurt somebody. I’ll openly tell my parents now how I’m feeling, if I’ve got a low mood, but I won’t tell my dad that his parenting style, while working on my brother, has left me with a lifelong feeling of inadequacy. What good would that do anyone?
So... yeah. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out"
You haven’t really talked about it, you’ve just mentioned a little about what you are dealing with. You are feeling like shit as you probably feel guilty or a feeling of weakness for letting it out. It’s not a weakness at all. You just need to accept that to change your way of thinking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m generally open, if you try and numb certain feelings they all get numbed and I don’t want that.
That’s really true I think. Coincidentally was watching the new Queer Eye the other night, and one of the gang was saying the exact same thing to the guy they made over. He’d shit himself out from people a bit, and he said to him about how you can’t numb one emotion down, as you end up numbing them all down.
And as I said above, I’d always rather feel something, than not feel something, even if it was a bit of hurt. Even with that we can feel alive, and hopefully learn and grow as people.
I sometimes cry when watching queer eye. So I'd say I show my feelings openly "
It is one of the most feel good shows there is. A lot of people would be cynical about that stuff like that, but again with that sort of thing I’d much rather see the good in things, than be cynical about them.
That said, there’s plenty of other stuff to be cynical about.
And heck, I often had something in my eye at the end of ER episodes. They pulled on those heartstrings a lot with their camera panning back out shots at the end of episodes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out
You haven’t really talked about it, you’ve just mentioned a little about what you are dealing with. You are feeling like shit as you probably feel guilty or a feeling of weakness for letting it out. It’s not a weakness at all. You just need to accept that to change your way of thinking. "
I feel sad and shit cos I'm now thinking about everything |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out
You haven’t really talked about it, you’ve just mentioned a little about what you are dealing with. You are feeling like shit as you probably feel guilty or a feeling of weakness for letting it out. It’s not a weakness at all. You just need to accept that to change your way of thinking.
I feel sad and shit cos I'm now thinking about everything "
Have you tried yoga? Breathing techniques etc? A close family member went through hell and this process helps her a lot not to think too much into it all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I keep my feelings 2 myself every time I open up too somone I get let down. I openden up too my mum the other day first time in years.. her comments back too me made me realise y I keep my feelings 2 myself in the first place.
That's awful, I find my mum is the only person I do still show my feelings with ...
My ex gf who is 43 but like my best mate now is somone I used 2 tell everything 2 and somtimes still do but is not easy now as she is turmanuly I'll.. Ohh and my dad I try talk 2 but he is also turmanly I'll. So atm life is fucking shit but I have 2 keep my head held high and be stong for them x"
The danger here is that if you stay strong for them and ignore your own feelings that can be detrimental to you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot "
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out
You haven’t really talked about it, you’ve just mentioned a little about what you are dealing with. You are feeling like shit as you probably feel guilty or a feeling of weakness for letting it out. It’s not a weakness at all. You just need to accept that to change your way of thinking.
I feel sad and shit cos I'm now thinking about everything "
Thinking about things is not a negative thing. I think you probably bottle up too much. This is just the start of letting it out. You have to face your own feelings as some point. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out"
Talking about it is always difficult. It brings those feelings up to the service. For me, it’s about acknowledging those feelings and knowing that they’re temporary. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So now I have talked about it I feel like shit . So this is the reson I block it out
You haven’t really talked about it, you’ve just mentioned a little about what you are dealing with. You are feeling like shit as you probably feel guilty or a feeling of weakness for letting it out. It’s not a weakness at all. You just need to accept that to change your way of thinking.
I feel sad and shit cos I'm now thinking about everything "
Sorry, that's as a result of me starting this thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you "
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apstarMan
over a year ago
Harpenden |
Thanks everyone for that you are all awsome and I wish you all the happynies in the world. You all stay strong and keep fighting and never give up.. stay strong and positive and remember there is always somone out there that gives a shit about u |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault. "
I used to do that but since trying medication classes, I’ve changed my thought process a bit. I know realise that I can’t control other peoples actions but I can change the way I think about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I used to do that but since trying medication classes, I’ve changed my thought process a bit. I know realise that I can’t control other peoples actions but I can change the way I think about it. "
What is a medication class? Might be worth me investigating them.
I have tried to change how I think but I guess the saying "if people put you down enough you start to believe it" is true in my case |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I used to do that but since trying medication classes, I’ve changed my thought process a bit. I know realise that I can’t control other peoples actions but I can change the way I think about it.
What is a medication class? Might be worth me investigating them.
I have tried to change how I think but I guess the saying "if people put you down enough you start to believe it" is true in my case "
Bloody autocorrect....meditation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I used to do that but since trying medication classes, I’ve changed my thought process a bit. I know realise that I can’t control other peoples actions but I can change the way I think about it.
What is a medication class? Might be worth me investigating them.
I have tried to change how I think but I guess the saying "if people put you down enough you start to believe it" is true in my case "
That’s so sad but not irreversible. It can take time but with more positivity and self belief, you can do it. Maybe cutting the negative people out of your life is a good start or maybe less contact. My family can be lovely but doom and gloom. I have distanced myself a little as not to be brought down with the negativity. Only so much I can take before it affects me. I’ve started to choose carefully who I have in my circle, had to take a long break from my best friend last year due to being drained, the relationship is so much better now and we have a better understanding of each other’s needs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I will be honest, I have a big heart and some would say I am a soft touch, so I end up getting emotionally battered some times, but doing the job I do I can't show it, so they get pushed up the sleeve and strapped in tight, which is bad sometime, but the brave face covers all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault. "
I think a bit of self-analysis is good, but too much isn’t. I go and see a therapist every week and just go on and on about whatever. Poor lady! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I think a bit of self-analysis is good, but too much isn’t. I go and see a therapist every week and just go on and on about whatever. Poor lady! "
I had 5 sessions about 3 years ago free through my employee assistant programme, it really helped. I wish I could have carried on but couldn’t afford it plus I moved to London from Birmingham. I never thought I would be able to open up like that but she made me want to move forward with or without my husband. I had a new positive outlook on life and it was all down to me and making changes. I can see why Americans love therapy so much. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I think a bit of self-analysis is good, but too much isn’t. I go and see a therapist every week and just go on and on about whatever. Poor lady! "
I think you live near me, maybe I need the number of your lady. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am cautious what feelings I show to people. Particularly if they are strong emotions I'm feeling. So, am open about general everyday middle of the road stuff but when it comes to something deeper - in person - I hide it as best I can.
If I let someone in, it's a sign of the trust I have in them. I tried to supress my emotions for many years and it didn't work out well. Conversely, saying how I am feeling to everyone and making myself too vulnerable, is not a good idea. It's getting that balance of enough vulnerability to connect with others but leaving yourself some defences so you don't get too damaged.
One thing I have learned is that you can't stop emotions. You can find out why they arise, but you can't control and stop them with rational thought. It's like trying to make the waves stop coming at you because you tell them to. Emotions will happen, all you can do is control your display of them and your actions with them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault. "
This is absolutely me. I automatically assume that it’s something that I have done/said/texted too much/not texted enough/been too open/not been open enough/was too fat.
Especially when it comes to Fab. Generally I’ve stayed on really good terms with people I’ve met, and even if we haven’t planned repeat meets, we chat a lot, so if that doesn’t happen, or stops happening, my default it to blame myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
This is absolutely me. I automatically assume that it’s something that I have done/said/texted too much/not texted enough/been too open/not been open enough/was too fat.
Especially when it comes to Fab. Generally I’ve stayed on really good terms with people I’ve met, and even if we haven’t planned repeat meets, we chat a lot, so if that doesn’t happen, or stops happening, my default it to blame myself."
It’s hard not to think like that sometimes, but try to think of the positives that have come out of it all. If there have been positives, then when things don’t happen, it can’t ever just be because of you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I think a bit of self-analysis is good, but too much isn’t. I go and see a therapist every week and just go on and on about whatever. Poor lady!
I had 5 sessions about 3 years ago free through my employee assistant programme, it really helped. I wish I could have carried on but couldn’t afford it plus I moved to London from Birmingham. I never thought I would be able to open up like that but she made me want to move forward with or without my husband. I had a new positive outlook on life and it was all down to me and making changes. I can see why Americans love therapy so much. "
I do mine via a local organisation called Centre70. They’re a little like Citizens Advice. The therapists are all newly qualified, but they’re fantastic. I pay £10 per session |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m really open with my feelings and if someone upsets me, or I feel down about something, I talk it out. So many people see it as a bad thing, but I truly believe it helps me get over things so much quicker.
Talking about things is the best thing. It’s the only way I got through a marriage break up and losing my brother without getting depressed. All my closed friends are on anti-depressants because they don’t want to talk. I’m very open and think this helps massively.
Yes, me too. I had a particularly difficult break-up and I spoke to friends and family every day. My Sister, on the other hand, bottles everything up and she’s still heavily affected by things that happened over ten years ago.
It's interesting to read this because I feel less hurt/affect from things now that I don't let my feelings out. Maybe I'm turning into a robot
It’s certainly different strokes for different folks. I’ve always been a talker, so it’s affect me if I kept it in. The opposite for you. It’s always what works best for you
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
I think a bit of self-analysis is good, but too much isn’t. I go and see a therapist every week and just go on and on about whatever. Poor lady!
I had 5 sessions about 3 years ago free through my employee assistant programme, it really helped. I wish I could have carried on but couldn’t afford it plus I moved to London from Birmingham. I never thought I would be able to open up like that but she made me want to move forward with or without my husband. I had a new positive outlook on life and it was all down to me and making changes. I can see why Americans love therapy so much.
I do mine via a local organisation called Centre70. They’re a little like Citizens Advice. The therapists are all newly qualified, but they’re fantastic. I pay £10 per session "
Oh wow, I wouldn’t mind looking into that. I know the benefits of talking and would love to continue. Mine was private and although I had 5 free, they were £70 an hour after. She was amazing and I actually miss talking to her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Trouble is when I talk about my feelings I end up doing a lot of self assassination which makes me feel even worse. I always seem to make it my fault rather than accepting that it probably might be someone else's fault.
This is absolutely me. I automatically assume that it’s something that I have done/said/texted too much/not texted enough/been too open/not been open enough/was too fat.
Especially when it comes to Fab. Generally I’ve stayed on really good terms with people I’ve met, and even if we haven’t planned repeat meets, we chat a lot, so if that doesn’t happen, or stops happening, my default it to blame myself."
It's good to know I'm not alone in this ... Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
