FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Couples: a shift in the way you are seen here
Couples: a shift in the way you are seen here
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x |
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Yep. Absolutely right
There's about fifteen men to every woman here and most of the men would rather meet a single woman than a couple. Hence single women have rarity value and will get lots of attention. And as we all know men will say any old shit if they think it will help them get a fuck.
As a couple you have a lower. "value" and hence will get less attention. You'll still get a hell of a lot more than the poor single men |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x"
Maybe it's just single guys that are changing? I used to send out lots of messages to single females and couples in the hope that someone would choose me. Now, after being ignored for years, I don't bother, only if a profile really catches my attention do I message them.
In the same way; when I was in a club on the weekend, it was empty but the host said there'd be a couple and a single lady in later; when they arrived, whilst being lovely, for me, there wasn't any physical attraction so I left.
Maybe there's a Fab revolution going on? Single guys are no longer satisfied with being treated like a comodity on a shelf, waiting to be chosen. Nor should they be happy to pay way over the odds to attend clubs or pay for a single ladies or couples hotel.
I hope that single men are rising up. I hope we're choosing and not sat, crossed fingered waiting to be chosen; I hope we're staying away from clubs and not joining that line of guys a the bar from which any couple or single female thinks they can just pick from.
Single guys, join the revolution, be strong, be United! For years on Fab single men have been considered as revolting so let's revolt and make couples, single woman and clubs value us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x"
I wouldn’t take it personally depends when you was on as a single profile also I’d say, this site has gone down hill drastically over the past year...theres probably around 5000 profiles in the midlands area, easily 4800 are fake....I’d stick it down to just being on the site at a bad time rather than you being part of a couple... well personally I say this reason as people still like couple, and it’s unlikely all the guys who used to talk only want single women.... hope things change for you and get more responses in future |
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We've never been here as singles but it's natural that younger, single women will get the most attention with the more attractive ones featuring more prominently . Given the nature of the site it's understandable.
There are one or two who respond to the comment rather than the poster though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, the fab swingers forum is mainly populated by people that aren't actually swingers. "
I don't see the relevance to the original comment.
I haven't been awake long, in my defence. |
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"Yes, the fab swingers forum is mainly populated by people that aren't actually swingers.
I don't see the relevance to the original comment.
I haven't been awake long, in my defence. "
Single men that aren't swingers prefer single women, compared to ones in a swinging couple |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
When I was meeting alone I was still happy to chat to couples but I wouldn't make the same effort with them as single fems as I wasn't interested in meeting them, that's the same for a lot of guys and it's only logical isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep. Absolutely right
There's about fifteen men to every woman here and most of the men would rather meet a single woman than a couple. Hence single women have rarity value and will get lots of attention. And as we all know men will say any old shit if they think it will help them get a fuck.
As a couple you have a lower. "value" and hence will get less attention. You'll still get a hell of a lot more than the poor single men "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of guys see the profile before the comment and post accordingly. It's always been like that.
In fairness, lots of single women play up to that.
You even get single women self denigrating because they know they'll get guys flooding in to reassure them otherwise. |
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"When I was meeting alone I was still happy to chat to couples but I wouldn't make the same effort with them as single fems as I wasn't interested in meeting them, that's the same for a lot of guys and it's only logical isn't it?"
Yes. If we're on a night out we wouldn't expect a single guy to approach us just for a chat but by the same token if we spoke politely to a single man and he turned his back and spoke to a woman ignoring us completely we'd find it a bit rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think SOME couples can be a bit dickish and arrogant . Eventually people are going to get bored of that kind of scenario when they can have just as much fun if not more fun with singletons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple's profile I'm the only one who uses the forums, my hubby never posts in here. Plenty of people won't realise this of course.
Sometimes my contributions get overlooked, possibly in favour of a singleton's comment but I don't think it happens frequently.
Saying that, I do stick to the light hearted, friendly banter type threads 
Mrs x |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"When I was meeting alone I was still happy to chat to couples but I wouldn't make the same effort with them as single fems as I wasn't interested in meeting them, that's the same for a lot of guys and it's only logical isn't it?
Yes. If we're on a night out we wouldn't expect a single guy to approach us just for a chat but by the same token if we spoke politely to a single man and he turned his back and spoke to a woman ignoring us completely we'd find it a bit rude."
Yeah that's just manners though, you should have those regardless of whether you want to fuck someone or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, it’s always been the same for us.
People reply on the forum regularly even though I write jibberish a lot, we get a steady flow of mail.
Since Lacey stopped posting on the forum I’ve considered having a single man profile but it just wouldn’t be fair on the others, I’m never gonna meet alone and the guys seem to struggle enough as it is without a cast iron handsome sexual tyrannosaurus like me muscling in. |
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"When I was meeting alone I was still happy to chat to couples but I wouldn't make the same effort with them as single fems as I wasn't interested in meeting them, that's the same for a lot of guys and it's only logical isn't it?
Yes. If we're on a night out we wouldn't expect a single guy to approach us just for a chat but by the same token if we spoke politely to a single man and he turned his back and spoke to a woman ignoring us completely we'd find it a bit rude.
Yeah that's just manners though, you should have those regardless of whether you want to fuck someone or not."
True but I don't expect it on the forums. I think responding only to the people you find attractive is pretty much taken as read on here, or at least responding in a positive way.
I'm happy with that and carry on as usual  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Lots of guys see the profile before the comment and post accordingly. It's always been like that.
In fairness, lots of single women play up to that.
You even get single women self denigrating because they know they'll get guys flooding in to reassure them otherwise. "
God I hate seeing that and it so makes me cringe, you even get to know who to expect to do it also  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On our couple profile I find most messages pretty similar (some exactly the same!) to the ones received on my single profile, it's the sheer volume that's different!
Peach x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of guys see the profile before the comment and post accordingly. It's always been like that.
In fairness, lots of single women play up to that.
You even get single women self denigrating because they know they'll get guys flooding in to reassure them otherwise.
God I hate seeing that and it so makes me cringe, you even get to know who to expect to do it also "
I might try that next time I have a huge zit on my chin, might be easier than winking and fabbing for attention  roll
Peach x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the opposite. When I switched from being half of a couple that went to clubs and socials amd was quite well known in tbe scene to a single guy the reaction was interesting to say the least.
The incident that sticks most was the couple (not on here) that we'd met several times but never played who dropped me and then assuming the break up was far more acrimonious than it was felt the obvious way to get an FFM was to bad mouth me to my ex...  Pretty pathetic behaviour however you look at it
On the forums, I've noticed I get far less abuse and sniping than I did posting as part of a couple despite still posting in the same style as I ever did. Not sure why that is though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I (fem) use the forums as mr doesn’t like that aspect of Fab and yes I do get overlooked sometimes In favour of a single female. It happens but doesn’t really bother me. I speak to whoever I like and just post inane drivel x |
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"Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x"
Yup, you're right.
Rarely do my posts ever get a response (male half of a couple). Not that I'm looking for any.
The forum is all about the sisters gathering together and surrounded my males, who want to be their suitors, complimenting them. It's not a problem and it's understandable.
You can't let it bother you. Just accept it for what it is. Although I expect it is a culture shock if you were previously a single accustomed to the attention. |
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"Nah, it’s always been the same for us.
People reply on the forum regularly even though I write jibberish a lot, we get a steady flow of mail.
Since Lacey stopped posting on the forum I’ve considered having a single man profile but it just wouldn’t be fair on the others, I’m never gonna meet alone and the guys seem to struggle enough as it is without a cast iron handsome sexual tyrannosaurus like me muscling in."
It's 'goddamn sexual tyrannosaur' (Predator) |
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"Yes, the fab swingers forum is mainly populated by people that aren't actually swingers. "
Totally this.
They never like this being said, but a single looking for a single for friendship / romance / sex isn't swinging.
That stuff happens every Saturday night in every pub and club in the land. But you could never call the millions of singletons on the pull 'swingers' or the venues 'swingers clubs'. That's just looking for a shag. There's a difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I (fem) use the forums as mr doesn’t like that aspect of Fab and yes I do get overlooked sometimes In favour of a single female. It happens but doesn’t really bother me. I speak to whoever I like and just post inane drivel x "
Hahaha you and me both Angie *high five*  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x
Maybe it's just single guys that are changing? I used to send out lots of messages to single females and couples in the hope that someone would choose me. Now, after being ignored for years, I don't bother, only if a profile really catches my attention do I message them.
In the same way; when I was in a club on the weekend, it was empty but the host said there'd be a couple and a single lady in later; when they arrived, whilst being lovely, for me, there wasn't any physical attraction so I left.
Maybe there's a Fab revolution going on? Single guys are no longer satisfied with being treated like a comodity on a shelf, waiting to be chosen. Nor should they be happy to pay way over the odds to attend clubs or pay for a single ladies or couples hotel.
I hope that single men are rising up. I hope we're choosing and not sat, crossed fingered waiting to be chosen; I hope we're staying away from clubs and not joining that line of guys a the bar from which any couple or single female thinks they can just pick from.
Single guys, join the revolution, be strong, be United! For years on Fab single men have been considered as revolting so let's revolt and make couples, single woman and clubs value us."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah, it’s always been the same for us.
People reply on the forum regularly even though I write jibberish a lot, we get a steady flow of mail.
Since Lacey stopped posting on the forum I’ve considered having a single man profile but it just wouldn’t be fair on the others, I’m never gonna meet alone and the guys seem to struggle enough as it is without a cast iron handsome sexual tyrannosaurus like me muscling in.
It's 'goddamn sexual tyrannosaur' (Predator)"
I prefer to be individual when describing my sexual prowess
Plus I’d hate for people to picture me chewing tobacco and spitting on their shoes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. Just my thought of the day lol
I’ve been wondering this for a while, when I was single and on here, I used to be quite popular on the forum and used to get loads of compliments etc but now as a couple even though I don’t look any different (in fact a few of our pictures is from when I was here before lol), I used to get lots of replied back to threads I’ve posted on and since being a couple it’s very rare we get answered.
Have any of you guys that was single and is now a couple noticed a shift change in how you are seen here? Especially the ladies because I’ve been thinking for a fair while that I was only ever ‘popular’ because I was a single female and it was mostly the men who replied back who will try and shag mostly anything on here (not saying all men here) and then when you become ‘off limits’ they can’t be arsed to flirt anymore (if it was a ‘normal’ forum I could understand but this is a swingers site!).
It was just an observation that I noticed and wondered if it was the same for other couples?
Geeky x
Yup, you're right.
Rarely do my posts ever get a response (male half of a couple). Not that I'm looking for any.
The forum is all about the sisters gathering together and surrounded my males, who want to be their suitors, complimenting them. It's not a problem and it's understandable.
You can't let it bother you. Just accept it for what it is. Although I expect it is a culture shock if you were previously a single accustomed to the attention."
A modern day version of the tribal dances, where the women dance round campfires, and the men sit in a circle to be entranced and pluck off their chosen one. |
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Just an observation OP, you have mentioned that your threads don’t get many replies? You’ve started a thread here where ppl have responded but you have ignored the thread. Personally if I start a thread I always try to interact with those who post, why start the thread otherwise? I have responded to your threads in the past and I’ve been ignored despite you responding to everyone else on the thread. Am I less likely to respond to your posts because of this? Yes. These points may play a part in why the replies to your threads aren’t what you’d expect  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just an observation OP, you have mentioned that your threads don’t get many replies? You’ve started a thread here where ppl have responded but you have ignored the thread. Personally if I start a thread I always try to interact with those who post, why start the thread otherwise? I have responded to your threads in the past and I’ve been ignored despite you responding to everyone else on the thread. Am I less likely to respond to your posts because of this? Yes. These points may play a part in why the replies to your threads aren’t what you’d expect "
I have been at work and totally forgot about this thread until now. Usually I post on and off but today I have been fairly busy.
I was not aware that we’ve ever ignored you, I do apologise for this, I or we do tend to try and reply to everyone!!
Thank you for all your comments, it was never meant as a ‘moan’ or a ‘look at us’ kind of thing, it was just something I’ve been pondering and thought i’d pose the question x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get majority ignored in both guises! Lol
I doubt that - have people seen your pictures. "
Case in point.
A bit of single female self denigrating followed by the single male falling into line.
No disrespect meant to either of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get majority ignored in both guises! Lol
I doubt that - have people seen your pictures.
Case in point.
A bit of single female self denigrating followed by the single male falling into line.
No disrespect meant to either of you."
True though |
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"I get majority ignored in both guises! Lol
I doubt that - have people seen your pictures.
Case in point.
A bit of single female self denigrating followed by the single male falling into line.
No disrespect meant to either of you.
True though "
I was being honest lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I (fem) use the forums as mr doesn’t like that aspect of Fab and yes I do get overlooked sometimes In favour of a single female. It happens but doesn’t really bother me. I speak to whoever I like and just post inane drivel x
Hahaha you and me both Angie *high five* x"
Sorry just saw this, *high five* back x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get majority ignored in both guises! Lol
I doubt that - have people seen your pictures.
Case in point.
A bit of single female self denigrating followed by the single male falling into line.
No disrespect meant to either of you.
True though
I was being honest lol"
Ok |
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