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Screaming next door
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You often hear screaming from the house next door. Either - kids, parents, woman, man.
What would you do?
Would you report the parents if you thought they were beating their kids?
Would you report the man/ woman if you thought they were beating their partner?
If not, why not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've intervened in a domestic next door in the past.Got the fella who was abusing his girlfriend out of the house even put her front door back on its hinges.Stayed with her till her mother arrived.Only for them to get back together weeks later and give my family so much abuse we moved.
No good deed goes unpunished is the lesson i leanrt that day.
Now I live in a nicer neighbourhood and i wouldn't get involved with domestics these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think back and I’m very curious to why neighbours never called or intervened when I was at home.
To think back, I’m not sure if neighbours thought it’s none of their business or scared themselves. Either way, there were times as a child I prayed for help. And I’m not even religious.
I would always call on if I saw or heard anything , if I then suspected worse I would be calling the police. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
I know someone who used to hear a lot from her neighbours - screaming and shouting at each other. She gave up intervening and wished she hadn't as he eventually murdered her!!! 
She has since come to terms with the fact that there is little she could have probably actually done......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You often hear screaming from the house next door. Either - kids, parents, woman, man.
What would you do?
Would you report the parents if you thought they were beating their kids?
Would you report the man/ woman if you thought they were beating their partner?
If not, why not?"
It would depend on what was going on, if I genuinely thought somebody was being beaten up then yes I’d step in. If people don’t want to get involved then they can always make an anonymous 999 call, the police respond to all of them even if they think it’s a hoax, they have to do at least you’d get the police on their doorstep within minutes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would definitely report if I thought they were beating their child or being cruel to it. However I did once report neglect of a small boy to a health visitor, the child was left in the same nappy all day. I got told I was older and mother was just being young. I was basically told I was making a fuss and being nasty. |
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Yarp
But then again, a neighbor in my block was beating a man around the head as he refused to pay the £25 he owed her for the blow job he'd received. She was getting some good shots in so thought better of it |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
Yes I have done before and would again. I could hear the child screaming and crying for its mummy whilst the adults were fighting it out. I have also called the police when my brother was verbally abusing and threatening my parents whilst his own little kids were hiding in a bedroom with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Leave them to it its there business maybe thats how they express themselves"
Many a domestic murder could have been prevented with a phone call you know mate. You could be the difference between life and death for somebody. It happens more than you think so I’m not just being dramatic. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Yes I have done before and would again. I could hear the child screaming and crying for its mummy whilst the adults were fighting it out. I have also called the police when my brother was verbally abusing and threatening my parents whilst his own little kids were hiding in a bedroom with me "
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Leave them to it its there business maybe thats how they express themselves
Many a domestic murder could have been prevented with a phone call you know mate. You could be the difference between life and death for somebody. It happens more than you think so I’m not just being dramatic. "
Agree and I would like to think someone would call for help for me, if I were in trouble  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people’s default setting is screaming at one another.  "
This is true . I lived next to a couple who argued every weekend and smashed up shit.Then you could hear them fucking all night..  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Some people’s default setting is screaming at one another.
This is true . I lived next to a couple who argued every weekend and smashed up shit.Then you could hear them fucking all night.. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Leave them to it its there business maybe thats how they express themselves
Many a domestic murder could have been prevented with a phone call you know mate. You could be the difference between life and death for somebody. It happens more than you think so I’m not just being dramatic. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think back and I’m very curious to why neighbours never called or intervened when I was at home.
To think back, I’m not sure if neighbours thought it’s none of their business or scared themselves. Either way, there were times as a child I prayed for help. And I’m not even religious.
I would always call on if I saw or heard anything , if I then suspected worse I would be calling the police. "
Sometimes people daren't say anything in case it makes things even worse for the person being beaten up.
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Yes I would call the cops.
Our current neighbours row loudly, lengthily and regularly. Then we hear him shouting "ouch, no, ow." However we think they have a BDSM relationship so we keep out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Used to break my heart listening to the family next door when I was a teen. The toddlers were better parents to the babies, and showed amazing abilites to care. They were regulary visited by police and social workers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish my neighbours would have called the police a few times when I was in that situation but then again it would have maybe made it worse so maybe not x |
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When I was a kid the neighbour used to hit her son with a cane and lock both him and his sister outside all day with a packet of biscuits. I remember my mum saying that the son wasn't allowed to take his shirt off in the garden once because of the marks on his back.
The entire family lived in the kitchen while the living room was preserved with plastic covers on everything.
I don't know if my mother intervened in any way. |
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"I wish my neighbours would have called the police a few times when I was in that situation but then again it would have maybe made it worse so maybe not x"
When my mum was in a and e recently a woman was brought in badly beaten. The police were talking to her partner outside the curtain telling him that she'd refused to press charges. We wonder if that was because it would have made things even worse |
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My youngest son has ASD & severe ADHD.
When he was younger the police were weekly visitors to my house, due to people reporting his screaming when he had a meltdown.
It was never an issue for me. I'm actually happy that folks reported it, and we were called on.
My son was fine, but the next child screaming might not be so lucky
Would I report something if I felt there was a problem?
Without a seconds thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish my neighbours would have called the police a few times when I was in that situation but then again it would have maybe made it worse so maybe not x
When my mum was in a and e recently a woman was brought in badly beaten. The police were talking to her partner outside the curtain telling him that she'd refused to press charges. We wonder if that was because it would have made things even worse "
Obviously x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My youngest son has ASD & severe ADHD.
When he was younger the police were weekly visitors to my house, due to people reporting his screaming when he had a meltdown.
It was never an issue for me. I'm actually happy that folks reported it, and we were called on.
My son was fine, but the next child screaming might not be so lucky
Would I report something if I felt there was a problem?
Without a seconds thought. "
Just out of interest, and anyone can answer this as I'm curious - if you had reported your neighbours and afterwards they turned nasty toward you, threatened you and your kids and you had to move away for your own family's safety, would you report your new neighbours if you thought there was a problem with them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My youngest son has ASD & severe ADHD.
When he was younger the police were weekly visitors to my house, due to people reporting his screaming when he had a meltdown.
It was never an issue for me. I'm actually happy that folks reported it, and we were called on.
My son was fine, but the next child screaming might not be so lucky
Would I report something if I felt there was a problem?
Without a seconds thought.
Just out of interest, and anyone can answer this as I'm curious - if you had reported your neighbours and afterwards they turned nasty toward you, threatened you and your kids and you had to move away for your own family's safety, would you report your new neighbours if you thought there was a problem with them?"
Yes but I would deny it was me who reported them x |
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"When I was a kid the neighbour used to hit her son with a cane and lock both him and his sister outside all day with a packet of biscuits. I remember my mum saying that the son wasn't allowed to take his shirt off in the garden once because of the marks on his back.
The entire family lived in the kitchen while the living room was preserved with plastic covers on everything.
I don't know if my mother intervened in any way."
That's horrific and so so sad |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My youngest son has ASD & severe ADHD.
When he was younger the police were weekly visitors to my house, due to people reporting his screaming when he had a meltdown.
It was never an issue for me. I'm actually happy that folks reported it, and we were called on.
My son was fine, but the next child screaming might not be so lucky
Would I report something if I felt there was a problem?
Without a seconds thought.
Just out of interest, and anyone can answer this as I'm curious - if you had reported your neighbours and afterwards they turned nasty toward you, threatened you and your kids and you had to move away for your own family's safety, would you report your new neighbours if you thought there was a problem with them?
Yes but I would deny it was me who reported them x"
Same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish my neighbours would have called the police a few times when I was in that situation but then again it would have maybe made it worse so maybe not x
When my mum was in a and e recently a woman was brought in badly beaten. The police were talking to her partner outside the curtain telling him that she'd refused to press charges. We wonder if that was because it would have made things even worse "
Happens all the time I’m afraid and when things go badly wrong the police are criticised for not doing anything. It’s at the point now where people are being arrested without any evidence only to be refused charge just so the police can say they tried. Accounts given in body cam which also capture injuries can be used now and serious offenders are prosecuted without a complaint from the victim. It’s rare tho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think back and I’m very curious to why neighbours never called or intervened when I was at home.
To think back, I’m not sure if neighbours thought it’s none of their business or scared themselves. Either way, there were times as a child I prayed for help. And I’m not even religious.
I would always call on if I saw or heard anything , if I then suspected worse I would be calling the police.
Sometimes people daren't say anything in case it makes things even worse for the person being beaten up.
"
Yep. I think about that too, but I’ll never know if it would have got better also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember this one lady who used to stay next door ... she used to constantly shout & abuse her boyfriend... she used to throw stuff at him as well sometimes... very aggressive...
Didn’t intervene... poor guy.. they moved later not sure what happened to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ho can you tell exactly what is going on when you're only hearing from next door?
Parents shout, kids scream and shout, things are said in arguments that aren't meant.
Not black and white.
So pleased I don't have any neighbours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Parent shouting so loud at a child who obviously broke something and covered it up.
Screaming at him to stop fucking lying..
This went on for about 20 mins then the child was sent out to the car and dumped with a relative.
In that scenario, sho would you report it to? |
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I'm afraid there's no easy answer. As a nurse back in he 80s we had women in beaten black and blue that reported their partner to go back to him each time til one night the woman in question didnt make survive.
Reporting it can make things worse for the victim if an adult as if they refuse to leave they get worse for intervention of the police. However now I think the decision to charge the abuser has been taken out of the victims hands as a friend of my daughters dropped the charges each time but last time the police said she had no say in the matter .
Unfortunately there is so much red tape with kids it sometimes doesn't get dealt with properly but would def report any suspicion of child abuse x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Parent shouting so loud at a child who obviously broke something and covered it up.
Screaming at him to stop fucking lying..
This went on for about 20 mins then the child was sent out to the car and dumped with a relative.
In that scenario, sho would you report it to?"
I would have reported it to the police, long before 20 minutes had passed, poor little mite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have seen the children hurt crying afraid neglected then I can see no other choice than to report it.
Police social services the system so often gets blamed for failures, sometimes rightly so, but if we don't protect the children as best we can then who will.
The procedures they operate to are rigourous and better to let them do their job than see another dead maimed or broken child either on the front page of the papers...or worse...just another forgotten statistic... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most social services have an out of hours or emergency phone number.
If concerned for your personal safety you can report anonymously "
Don’t waste time trying to get hold of out of hours social services, it is a pager service and takes forever to speak to somebody. If concerned call 999, the police will refer to social services if required. |
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"I've intervened in a domestic next door in the past.Got the fella who was abusing his girlfriend out of the house even put her front door back on its hinges.Stayed with her till her mother arrived.Only for them to get back together weeks later and give my family so much abuse we moved.
No good deed goes unpunished is the lesson i leanrt that day.
Now I live in a nicer neighbourhood and i wouldn't get involved with domestics these days."
Sadly this is my experience is well. Some people are just addicted to shitty dysfunctional relationships because that's what they saw growing up and they are frankly too stupid to question the assumptions behind their own shitty relationships. I've honestly never seen one get better due to any intervention.
Last time i was in the OPs situation i sounded proofed the wall, moved the wardrobe against it and moved my bed to the other side of the room - problem solved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've intervened in a domestic next door in the past.Got the fella who was abusing his girlfriend out of the house even put her front door back on its hinges.Stayed with her till her mother arrived.Only for them to get back together weeks later and give my family so much abuse we moved.
No good deed goes unpunished is the lesson i leanrt that day.
Now I live in a nicer neighbourhood and i wouldn't get involved with domestics these days.
Sadly this is my experience is well. Some people are just addicted to shitty dysfunctional relationships because that's what they saw growing up and they are frankly too stupid to question the assumptions behind their own shitty relationships. I've honestly never seen one get better due to any intervention.
Last time i was in the OPs situation i sounded proofed the wall, moved the wardrobe against it and moved my bed to the other side of the room - problem solved. "
I’ve seen lots get better due to intervention. Much of the time, if someone is safeguarded, police will intervene anyway and prosecute. This takes away the pressure on the victim. Men and women aren’t stupid to stay with their abuser. Many are too scared to leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish my neighbours would have called the police a few times when I was in that situation but then again it would have maybe made it worse so maybe not x
When my mum was in a and e recently a woman was brought in badly beaten. The police were talking to her partner outside the curtain telling him that she'd refused to press charges. We wonder if that was because it would have made things even worse
Obviously x"
Not always. There are several reasons why women don't feel able to press charges. Being worried about escalating the problem isn't the only one By far. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Have intervened when we saw a guy throw his wife and child out of their car and then knocked her over as he sped off on our culdesac. 3 of us then faced him down when he came back and tried to get her back in the car.
However going around to house where there's screaming is another thing, you've no idea of the history, willingness to be violent. And I've seen a few times where the "victim" turns in the intervener as well.
Have and would report to police though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You often hear screaming from the house next door. Either - kids, parents, woman, man.
What would you do?
Would you report the parents if you thought they were beating their kids?
Would you report the man/ woman if you thought they were beating their partner?
If not, why not?"
Report report report. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Snitches get stitches!!!
That’s a bit bloody ridiculous to say on a thread about domestic violence.
A thread that’s based on hearing a scream and guessing the reason for it? Ok"
Read the original OP again. |
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"I've intervened in a domestic next door in the past.Got the fella who was abusing his girlfriend out of the house even put her front door back on its hinges.Stayed with her till her mother arrived.Only for them to get back together weeks later and give my family so much abuse we moved.
No good deed goes unpunished is the lesson i leanrt that day.
Now I live in a nicer neighbourhood and i wouldn't get involved with domestics these days.
Sadly this is my experience is well. Some people are just addicted to shitty dysfunctional relationships because that's what they saw growing up and they are frankly too stupid to question the assumptions behind their own shitty relationships. I've honestly never seen one get better due to any intervention.
Last time i was in the OPs situation i sounded proofed the wall, moved the wardrobe against it and moved my bed to the other side of the room - problem solved.
I’ve seen lots get better due to intervention. Much of the time, if someone is safeguarded, police will intervene anyway and prosecute. This takes away the pressure on the victim. Men and women aren’t stupid to stay with their abuser. Many are too scared to leave. "
Between bobbangs and myself, we know many that are too stupid to stay with their abuser. I've also never seen a 100% one sided case either. Not that i think people deserve to be abused, but a lot don't do themselves any favours either. I'm glad you've seen better experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've helped my neighbour no end of times, spoken to her and pleaded with her not to have him back. Each time she does.
The stuff that goes on happens in front of the two young kids. They love me and always want to come around my house, I've looked after them and fed them when she's had to clear up her house.
Even her mom has tried to help her and stays with her when ever he kicks off.
He has her wrapped around his little finger, he's mentally and physically abusive.
No, I've not reported it, as I have kids with special needs and the repercussions from him would make our life hell.
He's been reported to the police previously and he had an injunction on him, she had him back. So reporting what happens won't do her or my family any favours as he will be back.
I've tried to move house without success, I can't afford to private rent.
With the walls being so thin, I'm stuck listening to her screaming at him or the kids. |
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"Happens all the time I’m afraid and when things go badly wrong the police are criticised for not doing anything. It’s at the point now where people are being arrested without any evidence only to be refused charge just so the police can say they tried. Accounts given in body cam which also capture injuries can be used now and serious offenders are prosecuted without a complaint from the victim. It’s rare tho."
Sometimes, arresting someone, taking them out of the situation and letting things calm down is all that's needed. Certain types of evidence can only be taken after arrest.
If an adult is throwing a tantrum, they deserve to go on the naughty step (in the cells)
It's the police's job to keep the peace. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Happens all the time I’m afraid and when things go badly wrong the police are criticised for not doing anything. It’s at the point now where people are being arrested without any evidence only to be refused charge just so the police can say they tried. Accounts given in body cam which also capture injuries can be used now and serious offenders are prosecuted without a complaint from the victim. It’s rare tho.
Sometimes, arresting someone, taking them out of the situation and letting things calm down is all that's needed. Certain types of evidence can only be taken after arrest.
If an adult is throwing a tantrum, they deserve to go on the naughty step (in the cells)
It's the police's job to keep the peace. "
I think it's good that the police can do this now. In the past they were helpless if the battered and bruised person didn't dare to admit there was a problem. This way the abuser will hopefully concentrate their anger at the police rather than at the victim for reporting them. |
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By *astie10Man
over a year ago
Guildford |
i lived for a long time in the eastend london the police where over worked so hubby and wife battering took a low spot on there list as people living near wold take things in to there own hands all worked out well ....now live in the surrey hill only screams you hear are doggers or animals hunting each other |
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