FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > This may be goodbye
This may be goodbye
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu  I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye  |
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"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Shit I’ll be honest with you it doesn’t look good mate think about will and stay inside  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Oh dear...bye bye...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Have you been eating Aerial pods again? Naughty boy!
You be coughing cleanly though  |
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"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye
Oh dear...bye bye...... "
Heartless |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye
Oh dear...bye bye......
Heartless "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What kind of funeral are you wanting? Any particular colour scheme or traditional black? "
Funeral is turn up get d*unk, have a great time and forget why you are there, colour and clothing optional |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think I’m coming down with something too. I told you to stop leaving your tissues lying around  "
Well you said it was rude to wipe it on the curtains.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you still here OP? See, it's not terminal at all 
Hanging in there, wondering if I should replace vodka with Lemsip... "
OR put some vodka in your lemsip!  |
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"Are you still here OP? See, it's not terminal at all
Hanging in there, wondering if I should replace vodka with Lemsip... "
Wash your mouth out with soap! Replace vodka! Never mind man flu he's going mad!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.  "
It's just a virus invading his body. He'll survive.
Hopefully. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This! "
Have you offered to make him chicken soup? No? Then you don't care either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu. "
Nah, she was just reminding you that you might be dead tomorrow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This!
Are we supposed to care?
Yes bring soup"
I'm not a food delivery service.
You make him some. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu.
Nah, she was just reminding you that you might be dead tomorrow "
But who will feed the cat if I snuff it in my sleep?
Going to need more vodka while I think of setting up automatic feeders... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu.
Nah, she was just reminding you that you might be dead tomorrow
But who will feed the cat if I snuff it in my sleep?
Going to need more vodka while I think of setting up automatic feeders..."
The cat will be fine, if you don't feed it, it will go round all your neighbours mewing sadly until someone takes pity and feeds it a tin of tuna.
Sorted |
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"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This!
Are we supposed to care?
Yes bring soup
I'm not a food delivery service.
You make him some."
I’ll catch it I’m a man almost sorry has to be you x |
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"Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu.
Nah, she was just reminding you that you might be dead tomorrow
But who will feed the cat if I snuff it in my sleep?
Going to need more vodka while I think of setting up automatic feeders...
The cat will be fine, if you don't feed it, it will go round all your neighbours mewing sadly until someone takes pity and feeds it a tin of tuna.
Sorted"
After it had had a go at his decomposing body |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Skpe'ed the wife earlier, she said "You look dreadful, oh well I am off to a gig speak tomorrow maybe?" Typical woman underestimating the seriousness of man flu.
Nah, she was just reminding you that you might be dead tomorrow
But who will feed the cat if I snuff it in my sleep?
Going to need more vodka while I think of setting up automatic feeders...
The cat will be fine, if you don't feed it, it will go round all your neighbours mewing sadly until someone takes pity and feeds it a tin of tuna.
Sorted
After it had had a go at his decomposing body "
It's fine, he won't decompse overnight, that will take a few days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This!
Are we supposed to care?
Yes bring soup
I'm not a food delivery service.
You make him some.
I’ll catch it I’m a man almost sorry has to be you x"
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be  |
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"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This!
Are we supposed to care?
Yes bring soup
I'm not a food delivery service.
You make him some.
I’ll catch it I’m a man almost sorry has to be you x
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be "
Really ! Do go on then ?im not doubting you just interested in how x |
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"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Youre gonna be fine OP, 99% of advertising is bollocks.
Soap commercials for example, advertised as "new and improved". Nonsense, it cant be both can it?
You have nothing to worry about OP. But just in case, PM me your bank account details so I can look after your affairs "if" you dont make it........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
This!
Are we supposed to care?
Yes bring soup
I'm not a food delivery service.
You make him some.
I’ll catch it I’m a man almost sorry has to be you x
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be
Really ! Do go on then ?im not doubting you just interested in how x "
I don't cry when I tread on Lego.
I suffer man flu without complaining.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m at door with soup no answer ??
I knew you cared. Go round the back and creep upstairs, he's probably in bed.
Round the back you say!!!"
Slip in quietly so you don't wake him. |
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"I’m at door with soup no answer ??
I knew you cared. Go round the back and creep upstairs, he's probably in bed.
Round the back you say!!!
Slip in quietly so you don't wake him."
You don’t think he may need to be prepared then ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m at door with soup no answer ??
I knew you cared. Go round the back and creep upstairs, he's probably in bed.
Round the back you say!!!
Slip in quietly so you don't wake him.
You don’t think he may need to be prepared then ?"
He's semi comatose, he'll think it's all a dream. Snuggle up to him and give him a cuddle. |
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"I’m at door with soup no answer ??
I knew you cared. Go round the back and creep upstairs, he's probably in bed.
Round the back you say!!!
Slip in quietly so you don't wake him.
You don’t think he may need to be prepared then ?
He's semi comatose, he'll think it's all a dream. Snuggle up to him and give him a cuddle. "
 |
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"Does anyone know if he's willed his lynx can?
I took it
Kick a man when he's down why don't you
Survival of the fittest and all that
Can't fault it really "
Thank you it was his last wish oh and PIN number too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The lack of empathy on this thread is sickening! Especially in the face of such a lethal disease.
OP: You need some chilli to sweat the lurg out of you. As well as beer. lots and lots of beer. If my suggestions don't work, you will need the last rights performing on you. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The lack of empathy on this thread is sickening! Especially in the face of such a lethal disease.
OP: You need some chilli to sweat the lurg out of you. As well as beer. lots and lots of beer. If my suggestions don't work, you will need the last rights performing on you. Good luck!"
He's dead. Beer won't help that |
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"Does anyone know if he's willed his lynx can?
I took it
Kick a man when he's down why don't you
Survival of the fittest and all that
Can't fault it really
Thank you it was his last wish oh and PIN number too "
Nicely done! |
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"Does anyone know if he's willed his lynx can?
I took it
Kick a man when he's down why don't you
Survival of the fittest and all that
Can't fault it really
Thank you it was his last wish oh and PIN number too
Nicely done!"
Lunch is on me Er him ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm alive the soup rescued me... would buy you all a beer, but my bank account appears to be empty, I smell bad cos I can't find my body spray and it appears I have coughed and sneezed so much my arse hurts
Not feeling quite as bad today, even managed to go out and bring down some descent sized holy trees, so my workshop will be doing stuff with pale hardwood in 6 months time.
I would like to say thanks for the empathy but aside from James there was very little to be seen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Rest in peace, bud. I'll see you on the other side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you 
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they work? "
I believe so....I'm on 1 a day for urticaria which it controls...I don't surrey with hayfever now as I had a skin test many years ago to find what pollen I was allergic to and got injected with them out of season.
But before then it was chronic and it turned to asthma on a night...but thank feck it's cured now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they make you drowsy? "
Just don't eat custard creams later on a night |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they work?
I believe so....I'm on 1 a day for urticaria which it controls...I don't surrey with hayfever now as I had a skin test many years ago to find what pollen I was allergic to and got injected with them out of season.
But before then it was chronic and it turned to asthma on a night...but thank feck it's cured now "
Gosh I had urticaria as a little girl. They thought I was allergic to certain foods, so my mum had to take me off all sorts of foods. Never did work out what it was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they work?
I believe so....I'm on 1 a day for urticaria which it controls...I don't surrey with hayfever now as I had a skin test many years ago to find what pollen I was allergic to and got injected with them out of season.
But before then it was chronic and it turned to asthma on a night...but thank feck it's cured now
Gosh I had urticaria as a little girl. They thought I was allergic to certain foods, so my mum had to take me off all sorts of foods. Never did work out what it was. "
It came out on me out off the blue about 8 years back...consultant said it was my body's immune system attacking it's self..so a antihistamine and a ranitadine tablet to block the receptiveness in the stomach has sorted that fecker out |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they work?
I believe so....I'm on 1 a day for urticaria which it controls...I don't surrey with hayfever now as I had a skin test many years ago to find what pollen I was allergic to and got injected with them out of season.
But before then it was chronic and it turned to asthma on a night...but thank feck it's cured now
Gosh I had urticaria as a little girl. They thought I was allergic to certain foods, so my mum had to take me off all sorts of foods. Never did work out what it was.
It came out on me out off the blue about 8 years back...consultant said it was my body's immune system attacking it's self..so a antihistamine and a ranitadine tablet to block the receptiveness in the stomach has sorted that fecker out "
That's good news |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Who?
Not you
I do have hayfever though!
Cetirizine
Do they work?
I believe so....I'm on 1 a day for urticaria which it controls...I don't surrey with hayfever now as I had a skin test many years ago to find what pollen I was allergic to and got injected with them out of season.
But before then it was chronic and it turned to asthma on a night...but thank feck it's cured now
Gosh I had urticaria as a little girl. They thought I was allergic to certain foods, so my mum had to take me off all sorts of foods. Never did work out what it was.
It came out on me out off the blue about 8 years back...consultant said it was my body's immune system attacking it's self..so a antihistamine and a ranitadine tablet to block the receptiveness in the stomach has sorted that fecker out
That's good news "
Took a lot of fecking typing out...I must be fecking bored |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So, it was just a touch of hayfever after all "
I still feel rough, but holy trees are hard to come by, so had to get the chainsaw out and go fetch them. Felt fine while working but now the trees are stacked in the drying shed. It's voddy and Lemsip time again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So, it was just a touch of hayfever after all
I still feel rough, but holy trees are hard to come by, so had to get the chainsaw out and go fetch them. Felt fine while working but now the trees are stacked in the drying shed. It's voddy and Lemsip time again."
Holy trees? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yep holy, 2 of them one 8" trunk one 10" almost never get the timber over 6" so I am quite excited by them...
Yes I know I am a weird one... But I love making things out of timber you can't buy in the shops. |
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By *ldguyMan
over a year ago
ongar |
"Yep holy, 2 of them one 8" trunk one 10" almost never get the timber over 6" so I am quite excited by them...
Yes I know I am a weird one... But I love making things out of timber you can't buy in the shops. "
I thought you died a long long time ago???
Oh no not me the man that felled a tree...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yep holy, 2 of them one 8" trunk one 10" almost never get the timber over 6" so I am quite excited by them...
Yes I know I am a weird one... But I love making things out of timber you can't buy in the shops.
I thought you died a long long time ago???
Oh no not me the man that felled a tree... "
That's so bad it's brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yep holy, 2 of them one 8" trunk one 10" almost never get the timber over 6" so I am quite excited by them...
Yes I know I am a weird one... But I love making things out of timber you can't buy in the shops. "
Have they been blessed by a priest? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yep holy, 2 of them one 8" trunk one 10" almost never get the timber over 6" so I am quite excited by them...
Yes I know I am a weird one... But I love making things out of timber you can't buy in the shops.
Have they been blessed by a priest?"
Hey so I missed an L, I am sick ya know... Can't be expected to keep track of autocarrot when ill
These two probably not blessed by anyone, they were just in the way of a building plot |
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"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Soft Southerner... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know of a woman on here who's dying of manflu
Actually I have a cold and I’m not dying
I stand corrected
I am in pain though "
Bloody whinging women with a cold ffs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
We'll remember that! Next time there's a spider in the bath he's all yours."
I don't need you lot. I have spider-eating dogs now |
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"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
We'll remember that! Next time there's a spider in the bath he's all yours.
I don't need you lot. I have spider-eating dogs now "
Right ! And I’ve got apple pie ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
We'll remember that! Next time there's a spider in the bath he's all yours.
I don't need you lot. I have spider-eating dogs now
Right ! And I’ve got apple pie !"
Apple pie you say?
Maybe I was a tad hasty |
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"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
Well if you have man flu you're as good as dead
Cya x |
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"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
We'll remember that! Next time there's a spider in the bath he's all yours.
I don't need you lot. I have spider-eating dogs now
Right ! And I’ve got apple pie !
Apple pie you say?
Maybe I was a tad hasty "
Lol . Cream ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m feeling the ladies haven’t been informed about the full dire consequences of MAN FLU
We know. We don't care.
We'll remember that! Next time there's a spider in the bath he's all yours.
I don't need you lot. I have spider-eating dogs now
Right ! And I’ve got apple pie !
Apple pie you say?
Maybe I was a tad hasty
Lol . Cream ?"
Only if it's chilled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone heard from the OP?
I'm starting to worry.....
He’s gone let it go !! He would want you to be happy ??
I'm gonna miss that guy.....
*sobs"
You'll be the only one
(sorry) |
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"Has anyone heard from the OP?
I'm starting to worry.....
He’s gone let it go !! He would want you to be happy ??
I'm gonna miss that guy.....
*sobs
You'll be the only one
(sorry)"
Your callous attitude in why I hope I don't die on a thre.......
*thud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone heard from the OP?
I'm starting to worry.....
He’s gone let it go !! He would want you to be happy ??
I'm gonna miss that guy.....
*sobs
You'll be the only one
(sorry)
Your callous attitude in why I hope I don't die on a thre.......
*thud"
Gone...and totally forgotten
RIP Stinky |
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"Has anyone heard from the OP?
I'm starting to worry.....
He’s gone let it go !! He would want you to be happy ??
I'm gonna miss that guy.....
*sobs
You'll be the only one
(sorry)
Your callous attitude in why I hope I don't die on a thre.......
*thud
Gone...and totally forgotten
RIP Stinky "
I'm not dead yet.....
*cue Holy Grail references |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"I ignored the adverts, didn't do as advised...
I didn't keep out of reach of children, though every time the advert says it I know it makes sense...
Now I have the man flu I hope to survive, but just in case I may need to say goodbye "
The odds of surviving man flu is 10.000.000 to 1
Get well soon and i wish you luck op.
|
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"Has anyone heard from the OP?
I'm starting to worry.....
He’s gone let it go !! He would want you to be happy ??
I'm gonna miss that guy.....
*sobs
You'll be the only one
(sorry)
Your callous attitude in why I hope I don't die on a thre.......
*thud
Gone...and totally forgotten
RIP Stinky "
This could happen to any man it’s a terrible fate you must be more worried us men may be facing extinction here death rate of 98.9 % very virile too !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards."
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards.
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up "
Double pneumonia is that all... put up with that for 10 months before going back to the doctor... stuck a drain needle in my back, got lots of fluid out and I went back to work. Bloody whimps taking up hospital beds for minor ailments |
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By *ldguyMan
over a year ago
ongar |
"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards.
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up
Double pneumonia is that all... put up with that for 10 months before going back to the doctor... stuck a drain needle in my back, got lots of fluid out and I went back to work. Bloody whimps taking up hospital beds for minor ailments"
You still here????........ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards.
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up
Double pneumonia is that all... put up with that for 10 months before going back to the doctor... stuck a drain needle in my back, got lots of fluid out and I went back to work. Bloody whimps taking up hospital beds for minor ailments
You still here????........ "
Not dead yet, though a bit useless today. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards.
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up
Double pneumonia is that all... put up with that for 10 months before going back to the doctor... stuck a drain needle in my back, got lots of fluid out and I went back to work. Bloody whimps taking up hospital beds for minor ailments"
Feck off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Still in bed today, hoping this is the worst day. Got plans from Thursday onwards.
Aw ffs the only thing that he's had me taken to my bed was double pneumonia. ..and it was in ICU ffs you need to man up
Double pneumonia is that all... put up with that for 10 months before going back to the doctor... stuck a drain needle in my back, got lots of fluid out and I went back to work. Bloody whimps taking up hospital beds for minor ailments
You still here????........
Not dead yet, though a bit useless today."
Are you feeling better now ? |
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