FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Mental illness
Mental illness
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"I think there are a lot, and I mean a lot of us who have mental health issues. I’d say that if you feel the site exacerbating those symptoms, you should have a break. I hope you’re doing okay! " Defintely this 
This site does not blend well with these illnesses, take a break. | |||
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Xx | |||
"Can you tell us the exact diagnosis ? I suffer from Clinical Depression but I hate the label of mental illness because it covers so many issues. Don't let your illness take over your life - keep doing what you enjoy doing." Depression and BPD | |||
"That's totally up to you wether you want to share that with others, I'd like to think people wouldn't judge on that basis, but I know it's not always the case. I study Mental Health so it's a subject I'm really passionate about. The mental illness is a part of you, you are not a part of the mental illness. Have fun, enjoy yourself..don't let some high opinionated jobs worth spoil it for ya
Xx" | |||
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"Lexi, Fab can be a good and a bad thing when you’re having a dark day. I don’t know what it is you’ve been diagnosed with, but on a personal level, I suffer with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was a different man back in 2012-15. My wife suggested me coming back on here to give me something to focus on. I’m not saying Fab doesn’t get too much every now and then, hence my username, but recognising when it is time to take a break is key. Don’t let your diagnosis define you, and you’ve already said that on your profile. Accept the dark days for what they are, don’t beat yourself up over them, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. When I have been on with previous usernames people on the Forum I have found to be enormously supportive. We all know they will take the piss out of anything given half a chance, but when it comes to serious genuine issues......they are amazing people. " too true, it costs nothing to be nice, we all battle demons at some point in our lives....it's a subject that needs to be spoken about more openly, there's no shame, 1 in 4 of us will suffer with mental illness at some stage in our lives nobody is invincible to it.
Keep smiling guys | |||
"Lexi, Fab can be a good and a bad thing when you’re having a dark day. I don’t know what it is you’ve been diagnosed with, but on a personal level, I suffer with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was a different man back in 2012-15. My wife suggested me coming back on here to give me something to focus on. I’m not saying Fab doesn’t get too much every now and then, hence my username, but recognising when it is time to take a break is key. Don’t let your diagnosis define you, and you’ve already said that on your profile. Accept the dark days for what they are, don’t beat yourself up over them, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. When I have been on with previous usernames people on the Forum I have found to be enormously supportive. We all know they will take the piss out of anything given half a chance, but when it comes to serious genuine issues......they are amazing people. too true, it costs nothing to be nice, we all battle demons at some point in our lives....it's a subject that needs to be spoken about more openly, there's no shame, 1 in 4 of us will suffer with mental illness at some stage in our lives nobody is invincible to it.
Keep smiling guys "  | |||
"Lots of people suffer from a mental illness to varying degrees and effects. You are aware of it so that's the first step in coping with it. I'll let the experts deal with coping strategies for you but you are at least on a good path.. " | |||
"Lots of people suffer from a mental illness to varying degrees and effects. You are aware of it so that's the first step in coping with it. I'll let the experts deal with coping strategies for you but you are at least on a good path..
"Thanks x | |||
"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it." The only circumstances in which I could foresee a mental illness necessitating coming off Fab is if it clouded the issue of consent or if, as others have said, it was agrevated by being on Fab. Should you be upfront about it? I don't see why. You sound like you're a perfectly functioning person most of the time. So why is it anybody else's business? However, if you really feel you've slipped into a state which wouldn't be conducive to a meet you'll need to figure out a decent excuse. Sure, some might get annoyed at being led around by you and call you a timewaster. You'll just have to take that one on the chin I suppose and be philosophical about it. Those who you meet you were meant to meet. Those who you didn't... it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Good luck | |||
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"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it. I am quite high functioning but have bad times where I don't want to meet anyone Just wondered what people's views were on the subject of mental health" Given that next week is Mental Health Awareness week, I think it would be great *if* you felt like you could be open and honest about it, because the more people that are the more we all realise that we're not alone and that all around us are people going through the same or similar kinds of issues. Because that's one of the real fuckers about this kind of thing, is that all too often it makes us feel isolated and alone, like there is something wrong with us that sets us apart from others...when the reality is that there are literally millions of people suffering from exactly the same kind of fears and anxieties as we are... However - it's a bloody big IF. Ultimately, you should do what's right for you - because nothing is more important than your own wellbeing. It's not on you to be some kind of spokesperson or representative for this shit. All you need to focus upon is taking care of yourself and being good to yourself. Hopefully in the course of some of the conversations you might have - and even in this thread it's already kinda happening - you might find some kindred spirits who have some inkling of what you're going through and can help and support you. The stigma in society definitely does need challenging though - as do many of the misconceptions. I don't blame people who've never had depression for not understanding it; why would they know what it is or what it's like? I'm not going to say I don't envy them, because patently that's not true - but I don't begrudge them their fortune, because it isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. There needs to be more communication and education around it though, because people and society in general labour under so many misapprehensions about what it is and why it is. There's always this underlying attitude of "Yeah, but *why* are you depressed?!" as though it needs a reason. Depression doesn't need a reason, it just *is* - life ain't the fucking X-Factor where if you've got the best sob-story then you get to win, sometimes you just feel all fucked up and there's no tangible reason why - and that just exacerbates the problem, because people want a nice easy clean explanation of "X happened so now they feel Y." Society needs to start realising that it's okay to not be okay - and that there doesn't have to be a reason for it. How many celebrities - proper real celebrities; world famous actors and actresses who have the world at their feet, who have perfect lives, perfect families, perfect careers who are adored by people around the globe and could not want for anything - how many of them still end up topping themselves or suffering in silence? People get a bit upset about stuff and then start going "I'm so depressed" - without realising that it's not a fine line between being sad and depressed, but a massive gaping chasm. That's why they don't understand why it can be so hard to drag yourself out of bed each day, because when they're sad they can still function - they don't know what it's like when basic things like brushing your teeth, washing or eating feel like a really major monumental achievement. That's why they say things like "Suicide is so selfish" - not realising that inside the head of that person things have got so irrational, twisted and fucked up that they actually think they are doing everyone a *favour* by killing themselves - that in their eyes it's not a selfish act, but rather an act of mercy as their loved ones wont have to put up with them being a burden any longer. These people will *never* understand what it is to be depressed, and thank fuck for that - for their sake - but unless the stigma around the myriad illnesses out there is challenged and put to rest, these views will perpetuate and continue to make those that suffer feel ashamed and alone in a world that doesn't understand them... Or so they think. Truth is, there are people everywhere going through similar things, all suffering in silence because they think everyone else has got their shit together and it's just them that's a fuck up and a failure as a human being. But that's all bullshit. It's okay to not be okay. You are not alone. Most importantly - it's not forever. I know it feels like that, it feels terminal (and sadly, in all too many cases - it is - I think I read suicide is the number one killer of men under 45 and the number one killer of people 18-35) - but it's not. Things *can* get better. I'm not promising they *will* - but they can. Heart goes out to you OP. Love and hugs. If you ever want a chat (no strings attached - but of a slightly different variety to the normal NSA on here) then I'm always willing to offer a patient and caring ear to someone who's suffering | |||
"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it. I am quite high functioning but have bad times where I don't want to meet anyone Just wondered what people's views were on the subject of mental health" Depends on if being on fab exacerbates your illness. If staying on might cause you to react negatively in a certain way or worsen your mood/ view of yourself then probably not. However on the flip side sometimes you need to be open and just say how you feel. Most people don't judge and its 2018; mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bi-polar etc are now talked about far more in mainstream media. Ultimately you are the only who can really judge. | |||
"Can you tell us the exact diagnosis ? I suffer from Clinical Depression but I hate the label of mental illness because it covers so many issues. Don't let your illness take over your life - keep doing what you enjoy doing. Depression and BPD " I will assume you're under the mental health team as GPs don't (to my knowledge) diagnose any of the personality disorders. Are you getting therapy as well as meds? | |||
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"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it. I am quite high functioning but have bad times where I don't want to meet anyone Just wondered what people's views were on the subject of mental health Given that next week is Mental Health Awareness week, I think it would be great *if* you felt like you could be open and honest about it, because the more people that are the more we all realise that we're not alone and that all around us are people going through the same or similar kinds of issues. Because that's one of the real fuckers about this kind of thing, is that all too often it makes us feel isolated and alone, like there is something wrong with us that sets us apart from others...when the reality is that there are literally millions of people suffering from exactly the same kind of fears and anxieties as we are... However - it's a bloody big IF. Ultimately, you should do what's right for you - because nothing is more important than your own wellbeing. It's not on you to be some kind of spokesperson or representative for this shit. All you need to focus upon is taking care of yourself and being good to yourself. Hopefully in the course of some of the conversations you might have - and even in this thread it's already kinda happening - you might find some kindred spirits who have some inkling of what you're going through and can help and support you. The stigma in society definitely does need challenging though - as do many of the misconceptions. I don't blame people who've never had depression for not understanding it; why would they know what it is or what it's like? I'm not going to say I don't envy them, because patently that's not true - but I don't begrudge them their fortune, because it isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. There needs to be more communication and education around it though, because people and society in general labour under so many misapprehensions about what it is and why it is. There's always this underlying attitude of "Yeah, but *why* are you depressed?!" as though it needs a reason. Depression doesn't need a reason, it just *is* - life ain't the fucking X-Factor where if you've got the best sob-story then you get to win, sometimes you just feel all fucked up and there's no tangible reason why - and that just exacerbates the problem, because people want a nice easy clean explanation of "X happened so now they feel Y." Society needs to start realising that it's okay to not be okay - and that there doesn't have to be a reason for it. How many celebrities - proper real celebrities; world famous actors and actresses who have the world at their feet, who have perfect lives, perfect families, perfect careers who are adored by people around the globe and could not want for anything - how many of them still end up topping themselves or suffering in silence? People get a bit upset about stuff and then start going "I'm so depressed" - without realising that it's not a fine line between being sad and depressed, but a massive gaping chasm. That's why they don't understand why it can be so hard to drag yourself out of bed each day, because when they're sad they can still function - they don't know what it's like when basic things like brushing your teeth, washing or eating feel like a really major monumental achievement. That's why they say things like "Suicide is so selfish" - not realising that inside the head of that person things have got so irrational, twisted and fucked up that they actually think they are doing everyone a *favour* by killing themselves - that in their eyes it's not a selfish act, but rather an act of mercy as their loved ones wont have to put up with them being a burden any longer. These people will *never* understand what it is to be depressed, and thank fuck for that - for their sake - but unless the stigma around the myriad illnesses out there is challenged and put to rest, these views will perpetuate and continue to make those that suffer feel ashamed and alone in a world that doesn't understand them... Or so they think. Truth is, there are people everywhere going through similar things, all suffering in silence because they think everyone else has got their shit together and it's just them that's a fuck up and a failure as a human being. But that's all bullshit. It's okay to not be okay. You are not alone. Most importantly - it's not forever. I know it feels like that, it feels terminal (and sadly, in all too many cases - it is - I think I read suicide is the number one killer of men under 45 and the number one killer of people 18-35) - but it's not. Things *can* get better. I'm not promising they *will* - but they can. Heart goes out to you OP. Love and hugs. If you ever want a chat (no strings attached - but of a slightly different variety to the normal NSA on here) then I'm always willing to offer a patient and caring ear to someone who's suffering" Nicely put #nohealthwithoutmentalhealth #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness | |||
"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it. I am quite high functioning but have bad times where I don't want to meet anyone Just wondered what people's views were on the subject of mental health" We all have good and bad times, and many people will have disabilities here, which it is up to them to share or not. I would ask a couple of questions of yourself Does fab make you feel better or worse? Can you look after your safety? for example some mental health conditions make risk assessment harder - it doesn't mean you have to leave but maybe have a trusted friend you can run stuff by We all have baggage and no one here is perfect, I see no reason you have to either leave or tell meets unless being here makes your condition worse. Good sex can be a huge mood booster and releases serotonin so it might help being here ?? (Kaz) | |||
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"Can you tell us the exact diagnosis ? I suffer from Clinical Depression but I hate the label of mental illness because it covers so many issues. Don't let your illness take over your life - keep doing what you enjoy doing. Depression and BPD I will assume you're under the mental health team as GPs don't (to my knowledge) diagnose any of the personality disorders. Are you getting therapy as well as meds?" Yes meds and awaiting therapy as it's specialised treatment | |||
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"Can you tell us the exact diagnosis ? I suffer from Clinical Depression but I hate the label of mental illness because it covers so many issues. Don't let your illness take over your life - keep doing what you enjoy doing. Depression and BPD I will assume you're under the mental health team as GPs don't (to my knowledge) diagnose any of the personality disorders. Are you getting therapy as well as meds? Yes meds and awaiting therapy as it's specialised treatment " Yes, I'm aware.  | |||
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xx | |||
"Big hugs OP. But it’s much more common than you’d think - someone above mentioned the 1 in 4 stats, so you’re not nearly as alone in it as you may feel. The hard thing is trying to explain it to the other 3!! I suffer with anxiety & depression and have recently been told possibly a form of PTSD also (but waiting for meds to level off before can start counselling again!). You will learn how to manage it & what works well for you & some days you won’t notice it. Other days it’ll be a cheeky swine & try to challenge you, but you’ve got it sussed. And on the odd occasion, it’ll creep up when your not looking & wipe you out for a little while. You just need to learn how to manage it & who to go to when you need a little support. Fab is fine for me. Clubs are fine. Hosting events isn’t a problem. If I need to, I might get someone to step in & cover for me, or just skip a night I’m attending an event. Sometimes I’ll stay offline for a couple of days. Other days it’s a welcome distraction. Take it a day at a time lovely - and see how you feel. What’s right for you is right. You can do this xx"Thank you x | |||
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"I don’t think any of us are qualified enough to answer a question like that. You and only you have the real answer to that question. I wish you the very best whatever is the right thing to do x" I think many on here would want you to know there are people out there who do care- you look after yourself! | |||
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"So I've been diagnosed with a mental illness... Should I come off Fab or just be honest about it. I am quite high functioning but have bad times where I don't want to meet anyone Just wondered what people's views were on the subject of mental health" It's two weeks since you posted this. This is somewhere between a friendly hug and a gentle acknowledgement. It's a couple of weeks since you posted this, and we hope you are well. Checking in, and telling people how you feel, is good self care.You don't have to if you don't want to, but this thread is your possession. | |||
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"I think there are a lot, and I mean a lot of us who have mental health issues. I’d say that if you feel the site exacerbating those symptoms, you should have a break. I hope you’re doing okay! Defintely this
This site does not blend well with these illnesses, take a break."and yet so many are here.. | |||
"Doing okay at the moment took a break but I'm back now x " Good to hear. Little steps x | |||
"Doing okay at the moment took a break but I'm back now x Good to hear. Little steps x" | |||
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"I have had anxiety for 10 years. Although it is very well controlled with Sertraline and in the past cbt. It still rears it ugly hesd at times but i just think of it as part of me. 99% of the time i feel quite normal and have not had a panic attack in years. Im open about it. I find it helps to talk about it sometimes. Do whatever feels right for you. " I guess it's good to be honest once you know someone incase anything happens where u have to re arrange a meet | |||
