FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I feel cheated! (in the GUM)
I feel cheated! (in the GUM)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I'm gutted!
Just got back from my local GUM for my regular checkup.
Got myself psyched up for it (still get wee bit nervous) quick shower before, so all clean.
What do i find?
No getting my lower clothes off, no feet in slightly scary styrups. No showing off my 'vag' for all to see, no clamp to widen you to double the size. No slight embarrassment, awkwardness or discomfort!!!!!!
Instead was given an oversized cotton bud, pushed off to the loo and told to 'swizzle' it around inside, and without anyone looking!!
I ask ya, hows the GUM clinic going to keep up a reputation for being a slightly scary place to go, and so putting off people going for regular checkups??
And fellas, i hear its just as bad for you lot now...no sticking things up ur thingy, its peeing in a cup now!!
Disgusting!!
(seriously though, how great is the new ways of screening at the GUM? in and out in 15mins)  |
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i always get treated to the legs in the air, bits out routine when i go, they take several swabs from different areas so cant see how you poking around with a cotton bud is going to do the same thing   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol"
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my friend she went to one of these clinics to get tested, when they sent the letter out, her flat mate found the letter saying she was clean and photographed it and tagged her on the picture on facebook to congratulate her on being clean haha  she wasnt best pleased like lol |
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more fool her for leaving it around!!!
my clinic sends text messages saying 'congratulations, all clear' or 'please call to arrange to speak to a health advisor' - luckily i have only ever received the first type of message!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part "
I hate them... Feel me with total fear.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The worst part about going to the GUM clinic is having to sit around in the waiting room, its always so hot and stuffy. Last time i went there they had replaced the old system of filling in a form and taking a number, with a computer which i didnt know how to use. So other people got in front of me. Thats why i had to wait longer than usual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats only for a chlamidia screening, if you want a fill work up its still a scary and a little painfull experience.. i had mine done a couple of weeks ago (all clear as expected woop) and i had all sorts of scrapers and cotton buds and not to mention the speculum put in places i would rather they werent put lol! so if anyone wants a good old fashioned scary check up hit the laurels in cambridge ( really nice clinic btw) and Mark had to have the painfull male experience too ( plus we both had to hit the vamp clinic too for hep and aids tests) so all round good scary ( but usefull) experience! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went with a female friend last time , she got the oversized tampon and I got the legs up in air. The reason for the difference as was explained to me is I have had a hysterectomy and as such 2 of the most common stds can't grow in my vagina as I have no cervix. |
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i have never ever found the experience scary, and to be honest i think that perpetuating the idea that a sexual health check up is anything other than a quick chat and a few simple tests, blood tests included is what puts a lot of people in danger as they wont go for fear of being interogated and straped to a bed while Dr's and nurses prod and poke you!!
anyone who is scared of going, i would recommend you bite the bullet, it really is a simple harmless procedure |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"more fool her for leaving it around!!!
my clinic sends text messages saying 'congratulations, all clear' or 'please call to arrange to speak to a health advisor' - luckily i have only ever received the first type of message!! "
ours does this too, or you have to phone them. They won't send out letters, I assume for the reason that it might get in to the wrong hands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part "
she means FLAPS btw...far too polite for her own good! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have never ever found the experience scary, and to be honest i think that perpetuating the idea that a sexual health check up is anything other than a quick chat and a few simple tests, blood tests included is what puts a lot of people in danger as they wont go for fear of being interogated and straped to a bed while Dr's and nurses prod and poke you!!
anyone who is scared of going, i would recommend you bite the bullet, it really is a simple harmless procedure"
I personally was joking about it being scary.. and i think everyone else was, the proceedures are simple and relatively painless for most people. and we go and get them done every 6 months (minimum)for our own benefit and everyone else to benefit from us ( oh how up my own arse do i sound ;P lol) but seriously - safety first! always and even if it was the most panfull proceedure in the world i would still get it done for my safety and out of respect for those i play with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part
she means FLAPS btw...far too polite for her own good!"
Ooft don't think i've been called polite before paddy Wanna clamp my flaps xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part
she means FLAPS btw...far too polite for her own good!
Ooft don't think i've been called polite before paddy Wanna clamp my flaps xxx"
helmet ready, cock ready -flaps open...coming in for a landing..strip looks level....overspill on entry...splashback imminent... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part
she means FLAPS btw...far too polite for her own good!
Ooft don't think i've been called polite before paddy Wanna clamp my flaps xxx
helmet ready, cock ready -flaps open...coming in for a landing..strip looks level....overspill on entry...splashback imminent..."
I just squirted in the clinic....forgive me doctor padster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd feel cheated without the clamp
clamp???!??! now i feel cheated lol
The speculum clampy open your lady bits thing. Surely that's everyones fav part
she means FLAPS btw...far too polite for her own good!
Ooft don't think i've been called polite before paddy Wanna clamp my flaps xxx
helmet ready, cock ready -flaps open...coming in for a landing..strip looks level....overspill on entry...splashback imminent...
I just squirted in the clinic....forgive me doctor padster "
Dr?- think u have me confused...I'm just the Dr's lickup boy...u taste nice btw, and BTW, ur all clear...heheheh its my special talent.... |
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Nurse does mine at the doctors when i go for other stuff, feet in styrups but its other reasons that they are like that, then she used one of those big cotton bud things. Never been for just a normal std check up with out there being another reason while im there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go to a clinic out of my town- thinking there would be less chance of meeting people I work with in other areas- Walked in first time and low and behold there came in a lady who looked at my legs in stirrups and sai...
I would intorduce myself- but as we grew up together and had our first drink together i'll just take the tests lol
We used to be best friends until she moved to England when she was 13... afterwards we arranged to meet and each time I go now she does my test and we go out for lunch after lol.. A lovely time I have lol.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"more fool her for leaving it around!!!
my clinic sends text messages saying 'congratulations, all clear' or 'please call to arrange to speak to a health advisor' - luckily i have only ever received the first type of message!! "
I feel cheated, I have to phone up to ask for mine!!!! |
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"The most exciting it gets at the GUM unit at the hospital where I work is when the paras get from Afghanistan and you get a line a mile long after they have all been with the local slappers lol "
Confused by this post....so these Paras, do you mean they are seeking tests after they have been with slappers back in the UK?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i have never ever found the experience scary, and to be honest i think that perpetuating the idea that a sexual health check up is anything other than a quick chat and a few simple tests, blood tests included is what puts a lot of people in danger as they wont go for fear of being interogated and straped to a bed while Dr's and nurses prod and poke you!!
anyone who is scared of going, i would recommend you bite the bullet, it really is a simple harmless procedure"
Sorry Eves, i was just trying to bring a little humour to the thread.
Just to clarify, to anyone out there who still doesnt like the idea of going to get checked at a GUM clinic, there really is nothing to it.
And especially now, with the new ways of testing (if you dont have any other complications)
Plus the blood test for syphilis & HIV.
Ive never found it scary or horrible. The nurses are lovely and totally non judgemental. And importantly ive always found them very gentle.
.
.
.
.
.
.
plus love stocking up on the free condoms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went this Monday, had the works.. speculum, swabs, blood samples, urine sample, HepB Vacc, free condoms, free fanny gel to keep the BV at bay and a nice chat about everything.
They are even contacting my pointless GP's cos they refused me oral contraceptives, and to insist I get to see a gyno after months of them ignoring me about another problem.
they were really nice too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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last time i sat there they were late with appointments and you always wonder and look at people walking in and wondering why and what have they been up too! or maybe thats just me thinking that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Noone should be scared of having tests. It is not painful. Some tests are more invasive, ie; high vaginal swabs, the thought of the speculum is far worse than the reality, it doesnt hurt at all. No big deal if you have regular checks and smears anyway.
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
Oh and the back of the thread swab
I, mr new made a gum nurse blush..
She had a large opcotton bud for the throat swab and said.. This may make you gag
My reply.. Oh I very much doubt it.. Stumped her |
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By *ucky_LadsCouple (MM)
over a year ago
Kidderminster+ surrounding areas. |
" A piece of piss. and thay take your blood , lol john was there this week had his cheeks its not just a piss in a pot , "
had mine at JAC worcester 2 weeks ago,pee in pot yes!, but still get the scraper down my pee hole!.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and the back of the thread swab
I, mr new made a gum nurse blush..
She had a large opcotton bud for the throat swab and said.. This may make you gag
My reply.. Oh I very much doubt it.. Stumped her "
And I very much doubt that you stumped her. The nurses have seen and heard it all, from kds wanting chlaymdia checks to homosexual dwarves with 12inch dicks who've starred in home made porn films and got carried away with the amount of 6'5 guys they've fucked whilst having to stand on a stool to do so and are now worried about the greenish discharge that seems to be oozing.
Blushing nurses - I doubt it
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"I go to a clinic out of my town- thinking there would be less chance of meeting people I work with in other areas- Walked in first time and low and behold there came in a lady who looked at my legs in stirrups and sai...
I would intorduce myself- but as we grew up together and had our first drink together i'll just take the tests lol
We used to be best friends until she moved to England when she was 13... afterwards we arranged to meet and each time I go now she does my test and we go out for lunch after lol.. A lovely time I have lol.."
You seem to have thenack on meeting people you know in embarrassing places Chuckles! |
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