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bit of help please
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By *ames3212 OP Man
over a year ago
sunderland |
"How can we help?"
I have been thinking, like she pretty much walked over me before and things never really changed, and she says they will but I'm not sure if they can or not,
And I hadn't been happy for months |
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"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk"
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult? |
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By *ames3212 OP Man
over a year ago
sunderland |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?"
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk"
Unless you have children or property it is relatively easy. You don't want to walk away, for whatever reason, and that makes it difficult.
Only you can make the decision.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be "
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
|
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By *ames3212 OP Man
over a year ago
sunderland |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
"
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad"
I think you’ve just answered your own question matey  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad"
Is she coercive/controlling and/or violent?
How often is it good compared to how often it is bad? How do the children feel when it's bad?
|
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By *ames3212 OP Man
over a year ago
sunderland |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad
Is she coercive/controlling and/or violent?
How often is it good compared to how often it is bad? How do the children feel when it's bad?
"
try and keep it away from them,
And not violent just more verbal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"going through a bit of a hard time, and talking to a girl I'm pretty close yo who I used to be with,
but I do still want her but not sure if I do at the sane time, so kind of stuck in the middle "
Dont go back. Fuck her, do anal just dont go back. If theres pride in you man dobt go back. Was in the same place you are a moment ago |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad
Is she coercive/controlling and/or violent?
How often is it good compared to how often it is bad? How do the children feel when it's bad?
try and keep it away from them,
And not violent just more verbal"
Don't get back ' for the sake of the children or stay together for the sake of the children ' it just screws up kids.
I know I stayed with my ex for the kids and they remember all the bad stuff non of the good stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Walk away. If you really wanted her you wouldn't have to ask anyone else.
it's never that easy just to walk
You said she walked all over you and you don't think it'll change. You hadn't been happy for months. Why is it difficult?
kids and stuff that has gone on recently, it's harder than it should be
If you have children together then you can't walk away from them but that doesn't mean you have to walk back to her.
Is there anything positive that makes you want to be with her?
when it's good it's brilliant, we have a laugh and everything,
but when it's bad, just makes me not want to be there, I no relationships aren't easy and it's not all good, but it's a lot more bad
Is she coercive/controlling and/or violent?
How often is it good compared to how often it is bad? How do the children feel when it's bad?
try and keep it away from them,
And not violent just more verbal
Don't get back ' for the sake of the children or stay together for the sake of the children ' it just screws up kids.
I know I stayed with my ex for the kids and they remember all the bad stuff non of the good stuff."
So true |
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I'd not sustain contact whilst I determined for myself whether to continue or not. It's not just about emotions, as it's potentially too easy to remain in the wrong relationship, even if we love someone.
Love alone isn't a good enough reason to continue a relationship imo.
If a relationship isn't mutually right, it's not good enough.
Being single, even having to feel loss and pain, is better than becoming congealed Ina relationship that doesn't support your growth. We usually need to fall out of love, reforming ourselves as the new single person that we become, when we split up.
Not allowing ourselves to re-establish ourselves fully means that we can sustain the less healthy aspects of ourselves that use any relationship as a kind of sticking plaster to tide us over.
This is not being anti relationship, merely feedback upon our ebbs and flows, moving between us, as part of a couple and us when single. Just as with seasons, varying tempos and our growth needs vary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you didn't have children, I'd ask you if you'd later regret not giving the relationship another chance. I'd go for it simply because you know what the worst case scenario would be. However, having children, I'd say don't go back unless you're confidant you two can make it work. Although children adapt well to change in circumstances, in general, you two yo yoing back and forth will mess with their heads.
Whatever happens, ensure the kids know you both love them, and don't ever use them as pawns. |
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By *iles1Man
over a year ago
Ealing Broadway |
Thanks for the advice.. new it anyway. Am genuinely interested but need someone to help me find away in.. have to say though that you lot are really on the fucking ball. As you probably realise I'm not good on a phone or pc. Was really quite comical at times been followed about. Took a while to work out some of the slang.. should be a board game based on this experience. No harm was intended. |
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"How can we help?
I have been thinking, like she pretty much walked over me before and things never really changed, and she says they will but I'm not sure if they can or not,
And I hadn't been happy for months"
Just a thought... and only going by the few things you've said, could it be that she's a bit high maintenance and not having any luck getting/keeping another fella because of it, so is looking to get back to with you as a last resort?
Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
If you DO take her back you have to do it on new terms mate. You can't let her just come back because she wants somebody to walk over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't do it, move on.
Abuse is abuse no matter what form it takes. You said she was verbally abusive and that's as bad as being physically abusive.
She sounds like a manipulative person and you don't need that.
Keep contact to a minimum and make it purely about the kids.
A leopard never changes its spots!!
As for people saying give it a chance, if it was a woman posting you wouldn't be saying that!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't do it, move on...
As for people saying give it a chance, if it was a woman posting you wouldn't be saying that!!!
I would!
"
Go back to an abusive relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't do it, move on...
As for people saying give it a chance, if it was a woman posting you wouldn't be saying that!!!
I would!
Go back to an abusive relationship? "
I would say to a woman what i said to the OP. |
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