 |
By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
I'm not saying it's rough where I live but...
The shops are selling Fathers Day cards in packs of five.
I love a drink of warm milk just before I go to bed.
I don't have it as often as I'd like though, seeing as mum has now reached the age of 90 and her tits are shrivelling.
As I knelt by my wife's grave, I started to cry.
It was the most beautiful patio I had ever seen.
I've set up a charity called "Tourette's Welfare And Treatment".
All we need is an acronym, and we're good to go.
Astonishing how many bottles of wine fit in a single glass...
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
I got home pissed at 3am and found my wife had changed the locks.
As I stumbled away I noticed the bitch had also changed the street we live on.
My dad got a selfie stick for his phone.
Now he can hold it far enough away to read text messages...
I said, "Alexa what do women want?”
That fucking thing hasn't shut up for the past three days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not saying it's rough where I live but...
The shops are selling Fathers Day cards in packs of five.
I love a drink of warm milk just before I go to bed.
I don't have it as often as I'd like though, seeing as mum has now reached the age of 90 and her tits are shrivelling.
As I knelt by my wife's grave, I started to cry.
It was the most beautiful patio I had ever seen.
I've set up a charity called "Tourette's Welfare And Treatment".
All we need is an acronym, and we're good to go.
Astonishing how many bottles of wine fit in a single glass...
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
I got home pissed at 3am and found my wife had changed the locks.
As I stumbled away I noticed the bitch had also changed the street we live on.
My dad got a selfie stick for his phone.
Now he can hold it far enough away to read text messages...
I said, "Alexa what do women want?”
That fucking thing hasn't shut up for the past three days."
Brilliant!!
Much needed giggles for the end of a stressy Monday   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other
day that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day,
he brought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door. Later that day
when he returned from lunch, he found that someone
had taped a note to the sign that said,
"Your wife called, and she wants her sign back!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
