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any funny jokes to cheer me up
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I sat outside the crematorium for Eric Bristow I knew it was him going through the furnace.
Can you smell that I said to a friend “ Ahhh Bristow”..."
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"I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.
I looked round and this bloke shouts, ''That's just for starters!''"
Just looking at your pictures has cheered me up. What a body & them legs  x x |
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"I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.
I looked round and this bloke shouts, ''That's just for starters!''
Just looking at your pictures has cheered me up. What a body & them legs x x"
Thank you  |
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The Pharmacy owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!" |
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Two Italian guys get onto a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is pricked when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ferrari pit stop - An ill-judged splash and dash, in which a gentleman leaves the bogs with his cock still hanging out and spilling fuel along the floor.  |
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Ill advised comments to police officers.
Don't bother with those handcuffs officer. Me and your wife have already established that they don't fit.
Step out of the vehicle sir.
I'm too d*unk you get in. |
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