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Combating loneliness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do people combat being lonely?
I go to work and no one really interacts with me, at home im always alone and have no friends. Ive tried going to places to meet people but never have much luck.
Its starting to make me doubt all my past friendships and wonder why im isolated.
It doesnt always bother me but on the occasion its hard to deal with and led to bad moments and dark thoughts. |
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Seriously I know this sounds stupid but get a rescue dog . You'll never be lonely and you will have a companion for life that loves you unconditionally. I got bored and lonely sometimes but getting Pooch has meant so much to me you wouldn't believe it . Just a thought  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly because of my hours i can't get a dog but i have a cat instead, still lonely though 
Sometimes i think the internet is a god send as i talk on here and other sites but i think its also a hindrance as i would probably go out and meet actual people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont tend to spend much time wirn orhers either. I work from home when not travelling for meetings, i keep my friends at a distance. I enjoy my own company and also enjoy being outdoors, i.e hiking.
Get a hobby  something you enjoy, its too easy to sit isolated and let your brain wonder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the only single out of all my friends I have a bad habit of thinking I’m under the feet and interfering in their family plans
Although much better these days, I’ve young kids so no choice but to stay in on an evening
It’s really hard to meet new people these days, everyone seems so involved in there own goings on.
May be a hobby that you can get involved in running/cycling/knitting  clubs maybe a great way to meet people and build friendships x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you change anything at work to make it less lonely ?
You say you’ve had past friendships. Can you get back in contact with those friends for a catch up?
If you’re feeling constantly low, have a word with your GP. Sometimes when very down, we perceive the world differently to how it really is. |
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I think you are better to understand your own loneliness and the causes, which may include unresolved past issues, habits that you have that may hold you back from forming and sustaining relationships etc. Whilst it's good to become active and involve yourself with others, if there's something that's fundamentally sustaining loneliness, other than a situational aspect, then it may somewhat be like papering over the cracks.
Having said that, new habits are easily formed, which don't replace others but increase the amount of choice that you have. Habits that we don't use tend to become weaker over time, whilst newer ones will strengthen and become more of our automatic choice for situations.
Consider the type of people that would be good for you and how you might meet them. Lots of voluntary work can be a great way to meet with others who have generous spirits, as well as helping your community. The right voluntary work can bring you into contact with many people who will appreciate your company and efforts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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get involved in an active lively Christian church thats involved in helping the community, seek to get on their varied community projects, such as soup runs etc...
You will make lots of sincere honest friends
Helping others will lift your spirits up and give you a positive outlook... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to join a club or two . Depends on what you enjoy . There are walking groups , book clubs , yoga classes etc . I appreciate it’s not as easy as it sounds but a little effort finding something that suits you will pay huge dividends as a lot of the others will be there for the same reason . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know it's simplifying things - but have you tried to arrange anything with anyone OP?
The reason I say that is because I'm a bit of a loner and understand how you feel.
I'm single and I don't have children or close family - I have few friends - most don't live locally and I don't socialise with work colleagues.
I spend a lot of time on my own.
And I'm not going to lie I am occasionally bothered by it - especially as summer is coming and it will feel like everyone is at a party other than me 
But I suspect you are you own worst enemy when it comes to making an effort with people - as am I!
Try arranging a day or a night out with someone - or like others said maybe join a group x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to agree with a lot of what people are saying above... I just moved into my own home before Xmas... my son is with me 4 nights and then 4 nights alone...
I work from apart for meetings so it is hard to meet people etc... I enjoy my own company but sometimes yes it does get lonely but as a single person it falls on our shoulders to make contact and stay in touch with people.. the best advice I was given was if your invited somewhere don’t say no.. even if you don’t want too...
So on my nights off I am trying to get into going to the gym... see friends as and when I can and at some point may look at a club or something..
But don’t let the darkness overtake... maybe without realising you have isolated yourself or if you feeling low in mood it happens without realising it... don’t be afraid to go to the drs or ask for help!!!
Never feel you are completely alone.... BECAUSE YOUR NOT!!!!!!
Sending big hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know how you feel op.People don't understand how I can be lonely when I'm actually married but in fact it makes it worse.There's no connection at home but I'm not in a position to go out and have a social life without her  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know how you feel op.People don't understand how I can be lonely when I'm actually married but in fact it makes it worse.There's no connection at home but I'm not in a position to go out and have a social life without her "
I really believe you can feel the loneliest when surrounded by people!!! It’s an awful feeling!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know how you feel op.People don't understand how I can be lonely when I'm actually married but in fact it makes it worse.There's no connection at home but I'm not in a position to go out and have a social life without her
I really believe you can feel the loneliest when surrounded by people!!! It’s an awful feeling!!! "
Too true, there's an expression about feeling lonely in a crowded room, people often don't get it! |
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I've got fabulous jobs as a performer, DJ and dominatrix hut find myself incredibly lonely.
Kink friends only want me for what I can do to them, vanilla friends are all coupled off and entertainment chums all work mad hours so trying to finalize time we're all free is tricky.
Gets me down sometimes but I enjoy my own company, have a wonderful dog and would rather be happy with who I am instead of surrounding myself with people who annoy me.
The internet may have brought people together but it shouldn't be a replacement for human interaction. I need to get out more, sounds like you do too OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You wouldn't think you could feel lonely running a pub, but as has already been mentioned in a previous post, all my friends are partnered, so tagging along on a night out is like being a spare part, you always have someone to chat to during open hours, but no one to actually talk properly to, nights are worse when you lock up as you don't have anyone to cuddle up to or just to talk, it can get very depressing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get along to some socials organised on here that are local, download the meet up app and look for activities that interest you.
Rambling Clubs, Running Clubs etc they all have a good social side.
Look for local events like singles nights or something. Join dating apps - they have “friends” options so you don’t have to get romantic if you don’t want to.
Volunteer.
Anything that gets you out the house.
Good luck and chin up |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
How do people combat being lonely?
I go to work and no one really interacts with me, at home im always alone and have no friends. Ive tried going to places to meet people but never have much luck.
Its starting to make me doubt all my past friendships and wonder why im isolated.
It doesnt always bother me but on the occasion its hard to deal with and led to bad moments and dark thoughts.
I no ezakley how you fill op
Try a long walk on your own summer quiet and relaxing wear that is not a nother sole to be seen but natcher.
If you cant see other people and onley see wild life you don't fill so alown.
We'll it tends to works for me anyway.
Or go out to a place you have fun at or your faverout place to go to.
If your enjoying your self sumwear you don't tend to think your alown.
Evoid places with couples/familys wen your in a low cos that just points out everything don't have.
Hope you fill better soon op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Learning to be content in your own company is wise advise I think. But also, don’t wait for friends, they maybe waiting just like you.
People don’t keep in touch the way we used to, and humans are naturally sociable creatures, find friends or find what your friends are upto and join in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live alone
I dont work
I have less than a handfull of friends
Can go days without a physical conversation
No family close by..
But Im okay with this, Im fussy and most people piss me off anyway!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t know your financial situation but if you can afford it ... I would suggest traveling. You have no idea how a long weekend can recharge your life battery...
If you can’t travel read books. Depending on how fast you read , you can finish one book a day.
Lastly you can also get a second job to interact with people and earn extra money...
Just try to keep yourself busy and you should be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Loneliness can mean different things to different people.
Joining clubs, sports teams etc is a great way however if illness plays a part in your life it compounds the matter further with let downs, missing things etc.
Is it harder for men to make friends than women? Ive always struggled to make male friends ans female friends have gotten married or coupled and drifted away due to in some cases their partner feeling threatened by the friendship. Human beings are strange social beings |
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Loneliness is a huge problem nowadays. I don't know what the answer is because individuals are lonely for varying reasons.
Joining a club is easier said than done people are very cliquey and unless there are one or two who look out for mew members and try to help them assimilate its easy to end up feeling lonlier than ever.
All I can suggest is be open to friendship, don't wait for people to make the first move, go to as many different places as possible, consider volunteering. Often going to the same place at the same time gets you talking to other regulars e.g. the same small independent coffee shop every saturday at 10 am.
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By *hyntravCouple
over a year ago
North Somerset |
I struggle with this too. I'm a stay at home mum and there's not much going on around where I live to get involved with and when I do although there are people I talk to when I'm there they haven't become friends. Trav is at work all day and sometimes I can go all week without seeing another adult.
As a couple although loneliness is not the right word, we really struggle to make friends. We have both moved away from our homes and anyone we knew before we were a couple and all our family is very far away. Would love to take up a hobby but with babies at home and no one to leave them with that just won't happen. Wish there was a magic answer. Hoping perseverance will fix it lol |
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