FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If you don’t like it .. leave it
If you don’t like it .. leave it
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Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change? |
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"Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change? "
Nothing wrong with commenting with a different point of view and putting your case across, but no need to do it in a nasty or insulting way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Within forum rules people should be free to post how they post. I take your point, but also it can often be very subjective how people interpret others and their posts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments. |
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The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!! "
I would have thought that those that do get insulting and personal do get put on the naughty step, if it's reported. Debate is fine, it's healthy to have differing opinions. Nastiness should not be tolerated though  |
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"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!! "
Can you give some examples perhaps (if it’s allowed) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!! "
True but it’s also not debate club, sometimes people argue. There are moderators and penalties and consequences however, it’s simply life. Not everyone can or will subscribe to communicating in the same way (nor even can) and some also simply have off days or interactions where there’s history of hurt or disagreement too. It’s a microcosm of life. I’m not advocating people are rude but determining what is or isn’t going on is still subjective interpretation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!!
I would have thought that those that do get insulting and personal do get put on the naughty step, if it's reported. Debate is fine, it's healthy to have differing opinions. Nastiness should not be tolerated though "
this |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!! "
It's no different to any other internet forum I've ever come across. I saw some spectacular arguments on a Land Rover forum....  |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!!
I would have thought that those that do get insulting and personal do get put on the naughty step, if it's reported. Debate is fine, it's healthy to have differing opinions. Nastiness should not be tolerated though "
Yeah, this is one of the most heavily moderated forums I've been on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments."
One problem though, is that some don't practice what they preach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They can't leave it though. Their fingers are itching to get their words across.
Leave them to it I say.
And as people keep saying on here, it makes a great filter. |
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"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!!
It's no different to any other internet forum I've ever come across. I saw some spectacular arguments on a Land Rover forum.... "
There’s a few caravanning groups on Facebook where people get so nasty when someone asks what they feel is a stupid question. Obviously the person asking doesn’t know or they wouldn’t be asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
One problem though, is that some don't practice what they preach."
They can give but can't take. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change? "
Everyone has an opinion, it may be yours or not.
So yes we can all post what ever and ever we want too as long as it's in the rules |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!!
It's no different to any other internet forum I've ever come across. I saw some spectacular arguments on a Land Rover forum....
There’s a few caravanning groups on Facebook where people get so nasty when someone asks what they feel is a stupid question. Obviously the person asking doesn’t know or they wouldn’t be asking. "
It's called a superiority complex
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The point being that people can often have a different point of view, and get hounded for it .. it’s fine to disagree with people (I do it often enough unfortunately) it’s when comments get nasty and personal without having a discussion about different points of view
It’s not a forum, it’s a grilling!!
It's no different to any other internet forum I've ever come across. I saw some spectacular arguments on a Land Rover forum.... "
You should see the smart arses on the lost and found pets page. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
One problem though, is that some don't practice what they preach.
They can give but can't take. "
So true |
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"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going. "
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going.
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question "
I think women would be worse. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"If you don't have anything nice to say , then don't say anything at all.
That's what I stick to.
"
I wasn't.
I was brought up in a household where shouty political arguments over the dinner table were commonplace. |
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"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments."
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going.
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question
I think women would be worse. "
I’m sure it’s not specific-gender-exclusive, but yes a guy was the premise of my point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs "
That happens a lot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you don't have anything nice to say , then don't say anything at all.
That's what I stick to.
I wasn't.
I was brought up in a household where shouty political arguments over the dinner table were commonplace. "
I have two sisters. My childhood was a war zone. We rarely said anything nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot! "
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those  |
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It is unfortunate when a light hearted and good humoured thread turns sour, usually caused by a poorly written comment.
One punctuation in the wrong place can be the difference between a compliment and an insult and it doesn't take long before that line is drawn and individuals are on the opposite sides...
Unfortunate but inevitable from time to time, just gotta accept its human nature and try not to get embroiled. |
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"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going.
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question
I think women would be worse. "
I’ve never had a woman get funny when I said I wasn’t interested but have had a man get funny. Was a guy once when I was part of a couple and he didn’t suit either of us (come across arrogant and that he thought he was irresistible) so said sorry but good luck. He couldn’t believe we’d said no and said something about having a big dick. Made no difference. Then came the insults about us being ugly etc. Yeah, we didn’t hide that fact but he messaged us wanting to meet so couldn’t have thought we were that bad lol |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those "
My mum and my brother told me they used to reckon an argument was won or lost when either me or my dad slammed our fist on the table and said the other was talking utter bollocks.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An insulting pm is better than no pm at all...what I wouldn't give for an insulting pm!
You lucky...lucky bastard!
I hope you were referring to monty python there  "
Yeah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change? "
Its never been a site full of open-minded people..
Swingers are some of the most closed minded, judgemental people i have come across... and especially on the forums  |
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"An insulting pm is better than no pm at all...what I wouldn't give for an insulting pm!
You lucky...lucky bastard!
I hope you were referring to monty python there
Yeah "
Had to add the second comment, cause Mrs Kinky was asking “what’s that all about like?!” |
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The world is inhabited by a wide cross section of people, with a wide and varied range of attitudes, some open minded, some not, some opinionated, some not, some easy going, some highly inflammable.
The membership of fab is made up of that same spectrum of people.
So we shouldn't be surprised when those same personality traits appear here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes lie awake at night dreaming of an insulting pm
Set up a female profile. You'll no longer be dreaming about them then "
I'll do that and then send myself one. I'll lose the element of surprise but at least I'll know how to hit home and make it hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going.
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question
I think women would be worse.
I’ve never had a woman get funny when I said I wasn’t interested but have had a man get funny. Was a guy once when I was part of a couple and he didn’t suit either of us (come across arrogant and that he thought he was irresistible) so said sorry but good luck. He couldn’t believe we’d said no and said something about having a big dick. Made no difference. Then came the insults about us being ugly etc. Yeah, we didn’t hide that fact but he messaged us wanting to meet so couldn’t have thought we were that bad lol "
Women won't get funny.
They'll seethe and stew and make your life hell  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An insulting pm is better than no pm at all...what I wouldn't give for an insulting pm!
You lucky...lucky bastard!
I hope you were referring to monty python there
Yeah
Had to add the second comment, cause Mrs Kinky was asking “what’s that all about like?!”"
Well tell Mrs K that there always has to be room for a bit of LoB. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those "
Ha! I’ve arrived! |
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"And then you get the people that seem to bear a grudge when you told them that no, you didn’t find them attractive and boy, do they keep that hurt going.
I’m guessing that’s mostly men? I personally can’t understand why they have such an issue - if they can’t take no for an answer then don’t ask the question
I think women would be worse.
I’ve never had a woman get funny when I said I wasn’t interested but have had a man get funny. Was a guy once when I was part of a couple and he didn’t suit either of us (come across arrogant and that he thought he was irresistible) so said sorry but good luck. He couldn’t believe we’d said no and said something about having a big dick. Made no difference. Then came the insults about us being ugly etc. Yeah, we didn’t hide that fact but he messaged us wanting to meet so couldn’t have thought we were that bad lol
Women won't get funny.
They'll seethe and stew and make your life hell "
I thought women did that anyway even if you hadn’t annoyed them?!? Lol
Oh silly me, us men annoy women just by being men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived! "
I'm still coming |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming "
You got company? |
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"An insulting pm is better than no pm at all...what I wouldn't give for an insulting pm!
You lucky...lucky bastard!
I hope you were referring to monty python there
Yeah
Had to add the second comment, cause Mrs Kinky was asking “what’s that all about like?!”
Well tell Mrs K that there always has to be room for a bit of LoB."
It’s alright, I YouTubed it and showed her the video. “They only hung me the right way up yesterday!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming "
Looking at Blanche's lovely profile picture, so is she |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
You got company? "
Nah. Left him to recover on his sofa a few hours ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
One problem though, is that some don't practice what they preach.
They can give but can't take. "
It's their sometimes holy than thou attitude that goes with it as well, no need, we're all different!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
You got company?
Nah. Left him to recover on his sofa a few hours ago. "
Nice work lady! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
Looking at Blanche's lovely profile picture, so is she "
‘Tis true! I’m having a lovely time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
You got company?
Nah. Left him to recover on his sofa a few hours ago.
Nice work lady! "
You should have seen him tonight, all tanned and naked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't a site full of open minded people though. The forums have a wide verity of people, some are open minded but some are incredibly narrow minded.
I do agree that people should refrain from making personal and insulting comments.
I've had insulting pm's from people who've not even posted on the thread ffs
That happens a lot!
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
Looking at Blanche's lovely profile picture, so is she
‘Tis true! I’m having a lovely time! "
You look all sweet and innocent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You know you've arrived, when you get one of those
Ha! I’ve arrived!
I'm still coming
You got company?
Nah. Left him to recover on his sofa a few hours ago.
Nice work lady!
You should have seen him tonight, all tanned and naked "
Lush.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes lie awake at night dreaming of an insulting pm
Set up a female profile. You'll no longer be dreaming about them then "
Or be a friend of a popular poster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes lie awake at night dreaming of an insulting pm
Set up a female profile. You'll no longer be dreaming about them then
Or be a friend of a popular poster. "
Oooh really? That works too? |
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"Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change? "
We've stopped using the forums much for that cery reason. It's counter productive |
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"Me and the Mr have been talking about the forums and how things can escalate so quickly, not in a positive way.
Someone can post an opinion, interest, or even an observation and people on here can be so quick to jump at them in a hurtful & negative way.
If you don’t like what someone has to say just scroll past, keep your disapproving comments to yourself or post it elsewhere.
It’s a site full of open minded people, when did that change?
Its never been a site full of open-minded people..
Swingers are some of the most closed minded, judgemental people i have come across... and especially on the forums "
Yep.
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