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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That my current relationship isn't working because the sex is crap. Not looking forward to the breakup- any tips?"
Just talk about it and be honest. No point in being unhappy life's too short. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know exactly how you feel, I've been there.
How do you get on apart from the sex? Is it something you could overcome?
If you feel it isn't then you'll just have to be honest and say that it isn't working out how you had hoped it would. I would try to be very tactful though and treat it delicately, I personally wouldnt tell him he was crap at sex as that could crush him and his sexual confidence may never recover.
Good luck OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you not already discussed the sex and what could/would work?
If it’s done-done, then do it somewhere away from either person’s house - I mean in particular, not at the person being dumped’s house so they don’t have the sad re-enactment scenes triggered around them constantly. State your intent straight off for clarity, like “Our relationship is over, it doesn’t negate everything we’ve had and I’d like to agree with you what works best in terms of our future interactions, I can tell you what I’d like but I respect you may have a different opinion and may also need time to decide on this, as I’ve already done so and I need to give you that same space. I care for you/have enjoyed working on this with you and I’m sorry that the dynamic between us wasn’t to be, you’re a wonderful person and I thank you for the time we’ve had in a relationship.” type thing. Obviously adapted to however you envisage the future (no further interaction or friendship or whatever). It’s important to respect the fact you’ve had more time planning and they need to soak up the message which may involve going through a few different emotions, any what nexts may be better discussed a while later and personally I think it’s important to be willing to answer some questions. Remember the questions are really a projection of their fears and a future with someone else for them is not based on your opinion of how they were in bed, so you don’t need to be brutal, you just need to help them detach from you and retain dignity and hope and confidence in themselves for their future and their other possibilities. |
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Be honest and direct. Someone said to me one that a break up should be like pulling off a plaster. There's no point trying to ease it off, it's just prolonging the pain. If you are sure you're done then rip that fucker off. It's gonna hurt but quicker is better in the long run.
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know exactly how you feel, I've been there.
How do you get on apart from the sex? Is it something you could overcome?
If you feel it isn't then you'll just have to be honest and say that it isn't working out how you had hoped it would. I would try to be very tactful though and treat it delicately, I personally wouldnt tell him he was crap at sex as that could crush him and his sexual confidence may never recover.
Good luck OP."
I have tried delicately, and also not so subtley to direct and encourage but not been getting anywhere. If anything as time goes on the frequency and quality have deteriated.
I like him but it is a deal breaker for me and I am not willing to be in a relationship where I have to initiate Every time.
Nobody is to blame here, as such it's just a mismatch in sex drives  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know exactly how you feel, I've been there.
How do you get on apart from the sex? Is it something you could overcome?
If you feel it isn't then you'll just have to be honest and say that it isn't working out how you had hoped it would. I would try to be very tactful though and treat it delicately, I personally wouldnt tell him he was crap at sex as that could crush him and his sexual confidence may never recover.
Good luck OP.
I have tried delicately, and also not so subtley to direct and encourage but not been getting anywhere. If anything as time goes on the frequency and quality have deteriated.
I like him but it is a deal breaker for me and I am not willing to be in a relationship where I have to initiate Every time.
Nobody is to blame here, as such it's just a mismatch in sex drives "
Ahhhh I see, well you have tried your best, and you must do what is right for you, your happiness matters. Just tell him, then go out and find another man for a filthy hot sex session. One way to get over a man is to get under another  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just be honest with him, he deserves that surely?!"
That's has me thinking that honesty isn't always the best policy though. I don't think I could bring myself to tell someone I'm dumping them because they are crap in bed. I'd be too worried about the psychological effect. I would probably think of a less personal reason. But maybe that's just me. |
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