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Ethical non-monogamy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh, certainly. I think I'd go a little stir crazy only being with one person for ever.
(Appreciate the irony of posting this from a couples account, we're friends who swing together, rather than a romantic entanglement) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monogamy is psychologically harmful to alot of people! The eyes wonder and people cheat and it's the lies and deceit and broken trust and jealousy that cause the harm Only a small percent of us can find a life partner and stay faithful and good for them! The rest of should look into polygamy and not the one guy two women kind, I'm thinking 4 wife's 4 husbands  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was in a relationship I would've been the first to jump on this thread and trumpet ethical polyamory to the hilt. With hindsight I now feel my yearning for this was actually due to problems in my relationship which were unfolding. My partner was no longer enough for me. Now I'm single I'm totally committed to the idea of finding that special someone again and falling deeply and utterly in love. Compared to that, polyamory, no matter how ethical, is just a bit myeh ok hmm.
Was I faithful to my previous partner? Yes. Would I be faithful to my next? Of course. Keeping my dick in my pants has never been a problem for me. Would I be open to poly if it came along after a while of being together? Probably. Would I seek it out? Probably not. I like the idea of intentional communities and even free love. I'm even partial to the idea of an ffm menage a trois love triangle for a while. But I don't think I'd want any of these things as a permanent relationship set up.
I know this maybe wasn't what the op intended this thread for but it seemed appropriate to express my take on it and how I've changed my mind now I'm single |
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It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others. "
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives "
I wouldn't say scared. Guys go through hell too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives "
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing. "
I'm a dumb ass today |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing. "
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please."
You’ve just proven my point.  |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please."
why? |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.why?"
Why what? |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives "
I did have a period some years ago when I had several fwb's, who I had got to know through various means, who I had some wonderfully enjoyable times with. Luckily the diaries always worked well and nobody at the time wanted anything more than occasional social/sexual meets. Great sex with great partners and no pressure. It would be nice to think that might happen again one day but right now I would prefer at least some time concentrating on one partner, taking the time to gel and discover multiple things that enhance sex with them. |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.why?
Why what?"
why dedicate your life to one person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm up for it
Great! That's one - any more?
In fairness I don't know what I signed up for. But I'll take it as it comes"
You should always read the smalllprint before you sign  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here! "
Never rule anything out (relationship wise). But I'm looking to dip my toe. |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
I did have a period some years ago when I had several fwb's, who I had got to know through various means, who I had some wonderfully enjoyable times with. Luckily the diaries always worked well and nobody at the time wanted anything more than occasional social/sexual meets. Great sex with great partners and no pressure. It would be nice to think that might happen again one day but right now I would prefer at least some time concentrating on one partner, taking the time to gel and discover multiple things that enhance sex with them. "
And that decision is upto you. Scary getting to know a person from scratch again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing. "
 I'm not getting a strong sense anyone but myself really understands it on this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been curious about Polyamory, I've only known one couple (personally but I know of a few others through them) in that type of relationship and I have to say that that its one of the most happiest relationships I've seen, the openness and trust is amazing!
Heard a few horror stories of them going drastically wrong but I suppose any relationship has that risk.
I'd be open to the idea but would need to talk about it with the perspective partner first to understand it all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point. "
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional? |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional? "
Elaborate more on expectation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional?
Elaborate more on expectation"
Expectation, among other things, that you will meet and marry one person, have 2.5 children, and never desire anyone else or if you do, not act on those desires. Certainly never have more than one "meaningful" relationship at once. |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional?
Elaborate more on expectation
Expectation, among other things, that you will meet and marry one person, have 2.5 children, and never desire anyone else or if you do, not act on those desires. Certainly never have more than one "meaningful" relationship at once. "
I think everyone deserves that kinda expectations. But when you ain't ready for that kinda life yet you don't really have expectations on the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional? "
I do. And not being exposed enough to understand the diversity of non-monogamous or polyamorous structures and relationships and possibilities there are, to dismiss it offhand rather than explore what values/aspects are essential for them in a sexual or romantic or relationship life and think/examine/learn what that might align them with in terms of the above. Examining and understanding why monogamy is what someone wants is not always driven by something that isn’t going to be present with polyamory.
That being said, I can’t even find one person to love me...(yes, Love would be an essential element in my structure of any relationship be it mono or poly)...so to find one person who loves me for monogamy or one person for a committed relationship with allowed ethical non-monogamy or to find more than one person for a polyamorous relationship with both or more etc is tough going. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional?
Elaborate more on expectation
Expectation, among other things, that you will meet and marry one person, have 2.5 children, and never desire anyone else or if you do, not act on those desires. Certainly never have more than one "meaningful" relationship at once.
I think everyone deserves that kinda expectations. But when you ain't ready for that kinda life yet you don't really have expectations on the situation. "
You appear (to me) to be having a different conversation to the OP’s conversation. |
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"It is a nice concept but I would need a connection with each partner. As a long time single, I would prefer a decent period of getting to know one partner before I broaden my horizons to include others.
I would need the connection with each partner too, and it's more than a concept, some manage to live their lives like this. It seems from the responses so far that men have been too conditioned by society to be monogamous and are scared to try alternatives
From the majority of responses so far it feels to me that it’s simply not understood, at all. I’ve not read a response yet that doesn’t read more than potentially thinking it’s simply not not having sex with more than one person. Disappointing.
When you're ready for commitment then always dedicate to the one person. If you're single and want to live your life for a while then do as you please.
You’ve just proven my point.
But don't you think the not understanding is to do with being brainwashed by society's expectations (including friends, family, peers)? And not wanting to be different/unconventional?
I do. And not being exposed enough to understand the diversity of non-monogamous or polyamorous structures and relationships and possibilities there are, to dismiss it offhand rather than explore what values/aspects are essential for them in a sexual or romantic or relationship life and think/examine/learn what that might align them with in terms of the above. Examining and understanding why monogamy is what someone wants is not always driven by something that isn’t going to be present with polyamory.
That being said, I can’t even find one person to love me...(yes, Love would be an essential element in my structure of any relationship be it mono or poly)...so to find one person who loves me for monogamy or one person for a committed relationship with allowed ethical non-monogamy or to find more than one person for a polyamorous relationship with both or more etc is tough going. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I totally relate to what you're saying Blanche - ethical non-monogamy is not an easy route or lifestyle choice but then neither is conventional monogamy. Love is difficult to find, whichever option you choose. And it seems from most men's responses so far that they haven't really thought about or had exposure to the subject before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Monogamy is psychologically harmful to alot of people! The eyes wonder and people cheat and it's the lies and deceit and broken trust and jealousy that cause the harm Only a small percent of us can find a life partner and stay faithful and good for them! The rest of should look into polygamy and not the one guy two women kind, I'm thinking 4 wife's 4 husbands "
4 husbands? Jeez no thanks, I'll just stick to the one permanent man but fucking plenty of others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I totally relate to what you're saying Blanche - ethical non-monogamy is not an easy route or lifestyle choice but then neither is conventional monogamy. Love is difficult to find, whichever option you choose. And it seems from most men's responses so far that they haven't really thought about or had exposure to the subject before "
I wholeheartedly agree. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I totally relate to what you're saying Blanche - ethical non-monogamy is not an easy route or lifestyle choice but then neither is conventional monogamy. Love is difficult to find, whichever option you choose. And it seems from most men's responses so far that they haven't really thought about or had exposure to the subject before
I wholeheartedly agree."
I too am disappointed because I thought that there would be more enlightened men on here than on other more mainstream sites but it sadly seems not to be the case. Just goes to show the huge variety of people who use this site for all sorts of reasons I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I totally relate to what you're saying Blanche - ethical non-monogamy is not an easy route or lifestyle choice but then neither is conventional monogamy. Love is difficult to find, whichever option you choose. And it seems from most men's responses so far that they haven't really thought about or had exposure to the subject before
I wholeheartedly agree.
I too am disappointed because I thought that there would be more enlightened men on here than on other more mainstream sites but it sadly seems not to be the case. Just goes to show the huge variety of people who use this site for all sorts of reasons I guess. "
It’s rare to find someone that can hold a conversation about it, then you’re looking for someone self aware and able to discuss difficult emotions and willing and committed enough to learn and talk and learn and grow with you, and understand themselves well enough to see how dynamics are triggered, and even then there’s a high chance that you’re still expected to pick up the traditional role of carrying the emotional labour more fully than them. Bring me back when society has sorted its shit out, I say. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night "
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships? "
I'd like to think the former, but it's a bitch to find |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships? "
Yes! Thank you, a man who knows what I'm talking about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's something which has crossed my mind more than once OP. I've been in a long term monogamous relationship (now over) which became very claustrophobic.
I've found I can love more than one person simultaneously and I see no reason why that shouldn't work at the emotional, spiritual and physical levels if all are happy with that.
It's not something I've acted on though. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships? "
I ain't looking for a relationship at the moment no. But if you look for it you never find it. Who knows what can come of a situation when it occurs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships? "
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Yes! Thank you, a man who knows what I'm talking about "
Clem is good at thinking stuff. I admire him greatly. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
I ain't looking for a relationship at the moment no. But if you look for it you never find it. Who knows what can come of a situation when it occurs? "
If you met a woman on fab who you fell in love with, would you like to watch her fucking other men? Would you kiss her after another guy had cum in her mouth? Or eat her pussy after her gangbang? |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Yes! Thank you, a man who knows what I'm talking about
Clem is good at thinking stuff. I admire him greatly. "
I'm in the bath... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's something which has crossed my mind more than once OP. I've been in a long term monogamous relationship (now over) which became very claustrophobic.
I've found I can love more than one person simultaneously and I see no reason why that shouldn't work at the emotional, spiritual and physical levels if all are happy with that.
It's not something I've acted on though. "
|
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship. "
That could make your mortgage complicated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Yes! Thank you, a man who knows what I'm talking about
Clem is good at thinking stuff. I admire him greatly.
I'm in the bath..."
Filth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
That could make your mortgage complicated. "
Bloody patriarchy screwing me at every turn. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship. "
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex. "
Welcome to fabswingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex. "
Nods, but again that’s not quite the point I was making. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Welcome to fabswingers."
Pardon? |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex. "
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy . |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Welcome to fabswingers.
Pardon?"
Don't worry, i popped a quid in the " connecting spiritually " swear jar.. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy ."
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab. "
You know, there's only so much spare change I've got, right? |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab.
You know, there's only so much spare change I've got, right? "
I'm done on this thread. Heads gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab. "
“Like everyone else” - not everyone is here for the same thing. But I’ve understood all your points, you just appear to be slightly paralleled to the thread topic, but it’s amusing Clem, so carry on. |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab. "
There you go op , hopefully this answers your original question |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab.
There you go op , hopefully this answers your original question "
Not necessarily, as I said before, everyone is on here for different reasons and hope springs eternal |
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"Yeah I'm confused now. What was this thread actually aiming at? What was it's purpose so I clarify. Not dimwitted just a late night
Are you hoping to find a woman on fab for a relationship where you both can carry on fucking other people? Or are you only here between "real" relationships?
Or not just carry on fucking others perhaps even (in the case of polyamory) have more than one committed loving relationship at the same time, it isn’t necessarily just meaning a swinging relationship or open relationship.
There is much more than to be fucking. I'd rather have a oman who I connect with "spiritually" then a woman I connect for sex.
Are you sure ?
My experience is quite the opposite . Connection on a spiritual level may look good and score points with the women on the forums , but if you don’t connect on a sexual level you may as well live with your best mate .
Oh and as an aside , swinging is without a doubt different for everyone , but the basic ethos is nsa sex . Finding someone on your spiritual level , but not connecting in a sexual way on a swinging site may not be easy .
Now you've just span my words around. I wouldn't be on a swinger's site to "find" the one. I'm here like everyone else. Doesn't mean I'm going to fuck my way through fab.
There you go op , hopefully this answers your original question
Not necessarily, as I said before, everyone is on here for different reasons and hope springs eternal"
After reading the responses on this thread I wouldn’t hold your breath |
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"Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here! "
Definitely interested in this thread! |
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"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it. "
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it.
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread"
Pointless?
Do you even internet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it.
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread"
It's perfectly ok to be on here looking for sex in between relationships. The OP wanted to know of any men who weren't looking for a monogamous relationship and can fuck multiple women. My long term partner does this, and so do I.
I will add though, that I wouldn't start a relationship with someone from here who wants a swinging partner. |
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"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it.
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread
It's perfectly ok to be on here looking for sex in between relationships. The OP wanted to know of any men who weren't looking for a monogamous relationship and can fuck multiple women. My long term partner does this, and so do I.
I will add though, that I wouldn't start a relationship with someone from here who wants a swinging partner. "
I ain't looking for a relationship, I stated that for her a few up the thread. I've been on here a few months and I haven't slept with anyone from this site. Getting my bearings. And if I do meet someone (this may answer her question) I don't go from pillow to post. One will be enough. |
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You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined."
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding."
I think I understood it, and my analysis stands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding.
I think I understood it, and my analysis stands. "
You did, and you are right! I can’t even manage monogamy. |
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"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined."
Not after no men. I'm single, been single for a long time. At this very moment I am not after a relationship commitment. I'm here to meet new people explore more into the swinger side of life. And see where it goes from there. If it's strictly nsa it isn't cheating no commitment involved. But if it comes regular then things can change. Mindset can change. Whole situation can change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it.
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread
It's perfectly ok to be on here looking for sex in between relationships. The OP wanted to know of any men who weren't looking for a monogamous relationship and can fuck multiple women. My long term partner does this, and so do I.
I will add though, that I wouldn't start a relationship with someone from here who wants a swinging partner.
I ain't looking for a relationship, I stated that for her a few up the thread. I've been on here a few months and I haven't slept with anyone from this site. Getting my bearings. And if I do meet someone (this may answer her question) I don't go from pillow to post. One will be enough."
One person is fine. This thread is to find men who aren't looking for just one.
(it's pillar to post) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the alternative motive for this thread? Was a pointless debate.
No it wasn’t. You just didn’t understand it.
So this thread wasn't aiming at "single" guys and her point she was trying to get across was to see if guys are only gonna have the one intimate partner? Pointless thread
It's perfectly ok to be on here looking for sex in between relationships. The OP wanted to know of any men who weren't looking for a monogamous relationship and can fuck multiple women. My long term partner does this, and so do I.
I will add though, that I wouldn't start a relationship with someone from here who wants a swinging partner.
I ain't looking for a relationship, I stated that for her a few up the thread. I've been on here a few months and I haven't slept with anyone from this site. Getting my bearings. And if I do meet someone (this may answer her question) I don't go from pillow to post. One will be enough.
One person is fine. This thread is to find men who aren't looking for just one.
(it's pillar to post) "
I hoped that was intentional as pillow to post is actually funny, and the best thing posted.  |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding.
I think I understood it, and my analysis stands.
You did, and you are right! I can’t even manage monogamy. "
I can't even find one person I can tolerate for more than 12 hours at a time, let alone several, the idea fills me with horror. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding.
I think I understood it, and my analysis stands.
You did, and you are right! I can’t even manage monogamy.
I can't even find one person I can tolerate for more than 12 hours at a time, let alone several, the idea fills me with horror. "
Nods. People are draining as fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
Not after no men. I'm single, been single for a long time. At this very moment I am not after a relationship commitment. I'm here to meet new people explore more into the swinger side of life. And see where it goes from there. If it's strictly nsa it isn't cheating no commitment involved. But if it comes regular then things can change. Mindset can change. Whole situation can change. "
Are you sure you are interested in the swinger side of life? The implication from other posts you’ve made in this thread and from your profile is that you are just looking for one FWB.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You after single men or available men? as in if a man on here already had other partners in committed relationships would that bother you? Not nit-picking, just conversing
Princess and I are both Poly; we are currently following a "Primary" and "Secondaries" structure though this is kinda fluid as partners drop in and out through time. We just happen to be swingers too, isn't too difficult to balance the differences, you just need to have clear boundaries between "proper partners" and "swinging partners".
People sometimes fail to spot the Ethical part of polyamory lol, this thread so far is a good example it isn't cheating and it isn't serial monogamy. I happen to have three partners atm and so does Princess and we both have regular swinging partners too. A lot of people seem to see that as cheating but no; everyone is fully aware of everyone else, consenting adults. We all meet up and socialise together and everything and I think relationships like that seem to be getting rarer on here as fwb and regular partners definitions are getting intertwined.
You’re absolutely right, the lack of comprehension has been amazing - even with google at people’s fingertips and a multitude of information to educate. And the mixing up of, as you say, the ethics part but also the variations from swinging to open to non-monogamy to polyamory and the fact any of those can be lived and manifested differently. Staggering lack of understanding.
I think I understood it, and my analysis stands.
You did, and you are right! I can’t even manage monogamy.
I can't even find one person I can tolerate for more than 12 hours at a time, let alone several, the idea fills me with horror. "
My thoughts entirely. I'd be ok with the sex part I think; everything else can fuck off. |
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I understand the concept, which has its appeal. But there's concept and there is the reality in relation to my circumstances. I am completely single, I have not had sex in almost 3 years and it is many years since my last relationship. Therefore for me there are many stepping stones to go, starting with being comfortable with intimacy, connecting, developing other aspects. Only then could I realistically begin to consider developing anything with others.
But if several of you ladies want to form a syndicate I might just have a go at fast tracking spinning the plates  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some interesting and baffling responses! Looks like it will still be some time before this will be a generally accepted lifestyle choice, luckily I know I can be happy on my own |
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"Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here! "
Yep, count me in too as long as you let me play with _oxy_minx. I had this conversation with a fuck buddy the other day. Ai think it could work for me as long as there was a clear understanding (and compliance with) any agreed parameters and as long as the relationship sex was the main sexual activity while meeting with other playmates was more secondary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some interesting and baffling responses! Looks like it will still be some time before this will be a generally accepted lifestyle choice, luckily I know I can be happy on my own "
I think the problem was that you asked a very simple question about a very complex issue. I mean what type of ethical non-monogamy are you referring to? How does it work and how do you get there? I personally know a lot about it, having read up on it and discussed it with many poly people over the years, so I knew the width and breadth of possibilities to which you were referring. But other guys can't be expected to have done all that leg work. They need scenarios describing to them so they can check in with themselves as to how they feel about it.
Without that your question just seemed to be asking if they'd stop swinging when they met someone or carry on... which wasn't the question at all (I hope). This scenario of meeting someone and carrying on swinging is neither enticing nor palatable to most people, even poly people. At least not as a primary relationship. Sure, it could work as part of a secondary relationship. But here again we have a scenario which needs describing before we can ask ourselves if it's something we'd buy into. Just my 2p |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some interesting and baffling responses! Looks like it will still be some time before this will be a generally accepted lifestyle choice, luckily I know I can be happy on my own
I think the problem was that you asked a very simple question about a very complex issue. I mean what type of ethical non-monogamy are you referring to? How does it work and how do you get there? I personally know a lot about it, having read up on it and discussed it with many poly people over the years, so I knew the width and breadth of possibilities to which you were referring. But other guys can't be expected to have done all that leg work. They need scenarios describing to them so they can check in with themselves as to how they feel about it.
Without that your question just seemed to be asking if they'd stop swinging when they met someone or carry on... which wasn't the question at all (I hope). This scenario of meeting someone and carrying on swinging is neither enticing nor palatable to most people, even poly people. At least not as a primary relationship. Sure, it could work as part of a secondary relationship. But here again we have a scenario which needs describing before we can ask ourselves if it's something we'd buy into. Just my 2p "
Point taken, it is a complex subject with many permutations. What I would like personally is an open relationship with a regular non-cohabiting partner/partners where we are all free to enjoy others whilst still maintaining a close intimate connection with each other. Not something I have ever experienced so would like to try it before I die! (Don't all rush at once) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I would like personally is an open relationship with a regular non-cohabiting partner/partners where we are all free to enjoy others whilst still maintaining a close intimate connection with each other. Not something I have ever experienced so would like to try it before I die! (Don't all rush at once) "
This sounds like what I'd call an anarchistic non-monogamy. It's where a loose network of single people enjoy being friends with benefits with each other. There may be no primary relationships nor any deep protestations of love. No hierarchy. Just individuals enjoying friendship and sex together.
Sound about right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I would like personally is an open relationship with a regular non-cohabiting partner/partners where we are all free to enjoy others whilst still maintaining a close intimate connection with each other. Not something I have ever experienced so would like to try it before I die! (Don't all rush at once)
This sounds like what I'd call an anarchistic non-monogamy. It's where a loose network of single people enjoy being friends with benefits with each other. There may be no primary relationships nor any deep protestations of love. No hierarchy. Just individuals enjoying friendship and sex together.
Sound about right? "
Hmm. I do like a bit of anarchy. I tend to think of it as more hippyish, but yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I would like personally is an open relationship with a regular non-cohabiting partner/partners where we are all free to enjoy others whilst still maintaining a close intimate connection with each other. Not something I have ever experienced so would like to try it before I die! (Don't all rush at once)
This sounds like what I'd call an anarchistic non-monogamy. It's where a loose network of single people enjoy being friends with benefits with each other. There may be no primary relationships nor any deep protestations of love. No hierarchy. Just individuals enjoying friendship and sex together.
Sound about right?
Hmm. I do like a bit of anarchy. I tend to think of it as more hippyish, but yes. "
It's only anarchic in the sense that there's no hierarchy. Hippies tend to be more into free love (that's more my thing). In this situation there may be some deep coupling going on, people really falling in love with each other, maybe even having kids together. But there'd also be an openness to maintaining and healing friendships with a select set of others via intimacy and possibly sex. Love affairs may also be fluid. But there would be enough cohesion in the social group, as well as a focus on spirituality and understanding, to help people through any heartache. Sounds pretty hippy... But heck we *are* talking about hippies here
The presence of couplings and love partners introduces a natural hierarchy into things that's absent in the anarchic singles friends with benefits model |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm definitely more of a hippy then! Need there to be a spiritual/connected aspect plus equality, though can see the attraction of anarchy too. Free love man! |
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So, I am making myself known as the OP requests.
I am however not a single male; I am in what we consider to be an ethical non-monogamous relationship.
At present my partner is also in a relationship with another man. I, at present am just in a relationship with Pink but this doesn't have to be monogamous.
It works very well for us and we are always learning more about ourselves.
Gg |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So, I am making myself known as the OP requests.
I am however not a single male; I am in what we consider to be an ethical non-monogamous relationship.
At present my partner is also in a relationship with another man. I, at present am just in a relationship with Pink but this doesn't have to be monogamous.
It works very well for us and we are always learning more about ourselves.
Gg"
That's great to hear. Hopefully I'll find the same one day. |
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"So, I am making myself known as the OP requests.
I am however not a single male; I am in what we consider to be an ethical non-monogamous relationship.
At present my partner is also in a relationship with another man. I, at present am just in a relationship with Pink but this doesn't have to be monogamous.
It works very well for us and we are always learning more about ourselves.
Gg
That's great to hear. Hopefully I'll find the same one day. "
I hope that you do too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here! "
I had a very long 25+ happy marriage and we were devoted to each other. Having been single since I have no wish for another life partner. Therefore I am actually committed to the...I would say Polyamorous rather than Swinging lifestyle I have pursued for the last few years. I will admit to preferring longer term friendships but also admit to enjoying the odd one offs I have met as well. Being in a position where I have been diagnosed with a life limiting condition (ie:terminal but 12-18 months as opposed to less than 6) has if anything confirmed my lifestyle choice, as I have no wish or desire to leave behind someone as I was left behind a few years ago. I have never considered this as a stopgap on the way to a 'proper relationship' probably because I consider the friendships I have made as forms of relationship albeit nsa...to me personally nsa has never meant no emotional content just no monogamous content. I like the feeling of being free to meet with whoever wants to meet me whether that be for social or sexual contact. I do feel that most 'single'(I use that term advisedly)men on here are looked upon as only being here for a free shag but again for me personally it has always been more than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are there any single men really interested in this as a lifestyle, rather than using Fab as a stopgap until they find a "proper" relationship? Please make yourselves known here!
I had a very long 25+ happy marriage and we were devoted to each other. Having been single since I have no wish for another life partner. Therefore I am actually committed to the...I would say Polyamorous rather than Swinging lifestyle I have pursued for the last few years. I will admit to preferring longer term friendships but also admit to enjoying the odd one offs I have met as well. Being in a position where I have been diagnosed with a life limiting condition (ie:terminal but 12-18 months as opposed to less than 6) has if anything confirmed my lifestyle choice, as I have no wish or desire to leave behind someone as I was left behind a few years ago. I have never considered this as a stopgap on the way to a 'proper relationship' probably because I consider the friendships I have made as forms of relationship albeit nsa...to me personally nsa has never meant no emotional content just no monogamous content. I like the feeling of being free to meet with whoever wants to meet me whether that be for social or sexual contact. I do feel that most 'single'(I use that term advisedly)men on here are looked upon as only being here for a free shag but again for me personally it has always been more than that."
Thank you for responding. Truly inspiring. We must all make the most of the time we have by living as authentically as we can. |
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