I know it’s really early in the season but the warm weather has brought the slimy fuckers out. I used to be a little squeamish but now I just pick them up and stamp on them .
Just killed 15. Sorry if this offends anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?"
It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)"
“Big Issue!!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)"
Are you judging me? |
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"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)
Are you judging me?"
Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!?
I have had slugs inside my house, the little bastards.  "
I did once and I stood on it barefoot  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)
Are you judging me?
Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand?"
Do you need a hug? |
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"Also....how can you stamp on them if you've picked them up!?"
Simple, I pick them off my plants and herbs, throw them on the ground, put the foot down. Big snails, I lob them over the fence as I can’t bring myself to crush them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have one of those electric fly swatters (looks like a tennis racket) put a slug on there and activate until it touches the element. Is quite interesting 
D |
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"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)
Are you judging me?
Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand?
Do you need a hug?"
Yes please. No funny nonsense mind you |
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Oh I'm so not a fan of slugs or snails. If you put a deepish bowl out of beer they fall in, drink it ,drown and die happy.
Snails will come back if you throw them over the wall. I couldn't put salt on them,too cruel for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?
It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in.
Ha!  "
The punchline is up there ^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A slug is just a homeless snail...
That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!
..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it.."
I’m wasted on this audience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?
It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in.
Ha!
The punchline is up there ^^^ "
I hope you’re not after a career in stand up  |
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"Oh I'm so not a fan of slugs or snails. If you put a deepish bowl out of beer they fall in, drink it ,drown and die happy.
Snails will come back if you throw them over the wall. I couldn't put salt on them,too cruel for me. "
. Got to agree a half can of beer they will drown  |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"The answer is ducks.
But only if the question is quackers "
I'm semi-serious.
Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The answer is ducks.
But only if the question is quackers
I'm semi-serious.
Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs. "
I love it when you talk country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)
“Big Issue!!”"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What did the slug say to the snail?
(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)
I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?
(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)
“Big Issue!!”
"
Finally!
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know
I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards "
Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The answer is ducks.
But only if the question is quackers
I'm semi-serious.
Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs. "
duck is pretty delicious too... But as a solution, duck are noisy smelly creatures, possibly worse pets than slugs...
|
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"The answer is ducks.
But only if the question is quackers
I'm semi-serious.
Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs.
duck is pretty delicious too... But as a solution, duck are noisy smelly creatures, possibly worse pets than slugs...
"
They do make a lot of mess, I guess you'd have them penned off somewhere and just let them through the garden for a few hours a day. |
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"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know
I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards
Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks?"
Now you’re getting very technical. Surely that would just encourage more. Where do they all come from? |
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"Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!?
I have had slugs inside my house, the little bastards.
I did once and I stood on it barefoot "
I did this too at 4am.... bork.... It was huge... I now have a genuine phobia of them |
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"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers! 
Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?
My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!  "
I was missing you but now you’ve lost me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A slug is just a homeless snail...
That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!
..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it..
I got it ... and it made me laugh!! "
|
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"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!
Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?
My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed! "
I call my cat 'Mr Fluffy Pants' for the same reason. Not in the garden obviously, don't want to ruin his street cried with the other cats!! |
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"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!
Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?
My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!
I was missing you but now you’ve lost me?"
She was very fluffy - and slugs got stuck round her nether regions, that's all you need to know! |
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"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!
Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?
My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!
I call my cat 'Mr Fluffy Pants' for the same reason. Not in the garden obviously, don't want to ruin his street cried with the other cats!! "
Exactly, you would recognise Mrs Fluffy Knickers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know
I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards
Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks?
Now you’re getting very technical. Surely that would just encourage more. Where do they all come from?"
Mummy slugs. |
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Consider collecting them and taking them for a holiday. Moving them short distances can just mean that they'll return. A few miles works though - maybe some rough ground, where they can mix with other wildlife |
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