FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men and rejection
Men and rejection
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I like to think women get rejected for sex a lot less than men and that guys generally get a lot of practice at being rejected over the years.
Do we generally take for granted the effect of such continuous rejection on men - especially in relationships? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not sure whether guys get rejected more often,whether they ask more often or less discerningly.
I can say,however, that I have known several guys who really,really do not take rejection well.
Maybe they were the ones who do not get much practice. (or maybe they would just want people to think that being rejected is a new thing for them). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Continuos rejection? How many times? 2/3/6/12 more? Personaly, I would take a hint. that hint means, is subjective. Could be approaching people all wrong, could be bad timing. It could be anything.
It seems to me that on sex sites , women can be fussy, and have more opportunities to say no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it!"
Are you saying that men who usually get attention do worse on fab than others, or just that men in genral get more rejection on here?
Obviously there is a numbers game at play on fab, but we have always had a culture in the woder world of men doing the approching in relation to sexual or emotional relationships you would think even the most appealing men would be somewhat used to rejection at this stage
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it!
Are you saying that men who usually get attention do worse on fab than others, or just that men in genral get more rejection on here?
Obviously there is a numbers game at play on fab, but we have always had a culture in the woder world of men doing the approching in relation to sexual or emotional relationships you would think even the most appealing men would be somewhat used to rejection at this stage
"
Both really. Men in general on Fab due to numbers, but the men who get a lot of attention in the real world of dating, come on Fab expecting it to be easy, and it isn’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour""
Luckily I like a challenge |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it!
Are you saying that men who usually get attention do worse on fab than others, or just that men in genral get more rejection on here?
Obviously there is a numbers game at play on fab, but we have always had a culture in the woder world of men doing the approching in relation to sexual or emotional relationships you would think even the most appealing men would be somewhat used to rejection at this stage
Both really. Men in general on Fab due to numbers, but the men who get a lot of attention in the real world of dating, come on Fab expecting it to be easy, and it isn’t."
I was just curious if you thought the type of guy that does well elsewhere struggles on here, thanks for clarifying |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it!"
Can you send it to me when you do please? I need educating to know what's been happening to me!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour""
 I can go back to sleep now, at least, one person understands...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour"
Luckily I like a challenge"
You may soon realise this is a new challenge... You have just been on for four weeks... All the best though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour"
Luckily I like a challenge
You may soon realise this is a new challenge... You have just been on for four weeks... All the best though "
2 and a half years actually, but yeah this profile is only four weeks old. I do ok  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not sure whether guys get rejected more often,whether they ask more often or less discerningly.
I can say,however, that I have known several guys who really,really do not take rejection well.
Maybe they were the ones who do not get much practice. (or maybe they would just want people to think that being rejected is a new thing for them)."
A psychologist would want to know what their relationship with their mother was like.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour"
Luckily I like a challenge
You may soon realise this is a new challenge... You have just been on for four weeks... All the best though
2 and a half years actually, but yeah this profile is only four weeks old. I do ok "
But then look at your profile compared to 90% of other men... Photos, a blurb about yourself, you have made an attempt to "sell" yourself
Take our inbox now...
At least 50 messages, no profile pic and one word messages or just simply derogatory.. None of which inspire me to reply because saying "fncy a fk" really doesnt inspire much of an answer considering what fab is really.
But then that is a whole other dynamic, those that make an effort generally get their responses replied to... Lack of effort = lack of responses and it is as simple as that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe some men are that used to it that it hardly phases or upsets them anymore to the point where they expect a no response? Who knows maybe the real shock for some guys is when a lady says yes or shows interest in them but a lot off times be it on here or real life it’s never really a guarantee things are going to go well/to plan? Only a matter off seeing how events unfold/where the road leads to.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It used to sting when I was younger (though I never got abusive about it) but I've come to accept that I'm not a square jawed handsome hunk that makes all women instantly dehydrate in my presence. I am to some people's taste though so all good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It used to sting when I was younger (though I never got abusive about it) but I've come to accept that I'm not a square jawed handsome hunk that makes all women instantly dehydrate in my presence. I am to some people's taste though so all good "
Dehydrate good word see girls yorkshires the place to be |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Rejection on here works very differently that on other sites though..
Because this is an adult contact site, in most mens eyes (not all) a woman is an easy lay and guaranteed to say yes when messaged so when the man gets either ignored or told no the insults start... Slag, whore, slut ect ect because they are obviously fucking everyone but them, big kick to the male ego especially in new members or younger ones... Yet on the other side of things, on dating sites its more talk than sex so expectations are different therefore the approach is different.
As for who gets rejected more, take a look at the statistics on here,
For every woman, there are at least 200 couples, for every couple there are at least 200 men, so do the maths. A woman approaches 10 men she is pretty much set for 10 yes responses, a man approaches 10 women and there is barely a chance 1 will reply.
With things looking like that, it's very much heaven for ladies whilst its hunger games for men
"May the odds be in your favour""
I also think women/couples work harder on their profiles so are prepared to make the investment in men who take notice of what they say and have a great profile themselves.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You’re talking about ending up in a sexless relationship through the choice of one partner not the other?
If you are, I think talking about the issue head on helps. For too many, it’s the elephant in the room. You need to look at the reasons why. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You’re talking about ending up in a sexless relationship through the choice of one partner not the other?
If you are, I think talking about the issue head on helps. For too many, it’s the elephant in the room. You need to look at the reasons why."
Although fab is a classic study in men getting rejected, yes, that is one of the main angles from which I was looking.
How do people feel when they are rejected, how do men really feel, because they most often try to be macho about it. And how do men in relationships feel when their partners reject them. Which I conjecture happens more than the other way around! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I was younger every rejection killed a little bit of me. Now I am a lot older I don't even think about it. Is it because I am used to it, or because I realise that not every woman see's me as the perfect mate? I really don't know.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You’re talking about ending up in a sexless relationship through the choice of one partner not the other?
If you are, I think talking about the issue head on helps. For too many, it’s the elephant in the room. You need to look at the reasons why.
Although fab is a classic study in men getting rejected, yes, that is one of the main angles from which I was looking.
How do people feel when they are rejected, how do men really feel, because they most often try to be macho about it. And how do men in relationships feel when their partners reject them. Which I conjecture happens more than the other way around!"
I’m not sure it happens more one way than another. Like anything I imagine it’s fairly equal between the sexes.
Whichever sex, it can make you feel unattractive and unloved. People deal with that differently. They just accept it, get down, look for another avenue perhaps by cheating, seek counselling, get out or talk about it and possibly sort it. Often not feeling like sex is because of outside pressures. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think we’re all slowly getting used to rejection, through dating online. Fab is a little different due to the numbers of men compared to women. I certainly think men feel it on here, when guys who generally get attention usually, struggle to meet anyone on Fab.
I read a really good article about how rejection affects this online generation. I’ll try to find it!"
Did you find it? Sounds interesting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like to think women get rejected for sex a lot less than men and that guys generally get a lot of practice at being rejected over the years.
Do we generally take for granted the effect of such continuous rejection on men - especially in relationships?"
Take it for granted in what way? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like to think women get rejected for sex a lot less than men and that guys generally get a lot of practice at being rejected over the years.
Do we generally take for granted the effect of such continuous rejection on men - especially in relationships?"
I guess if men are always chasing then the "rejection' rate could high. Personally I just engage in the forum and send the odd compliment without seeking anything. If someone approaches me it's a bonus! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like to think women get rejected for sex a lot less than men and that guys generally get a lot of practice at being rejected over the years.
Do we generally take for granted the effect of such continuous rejection on men - especially in relationships?"
I think rejection is part of the game really. I don’t spam every single woman I see, but I try to send a message that follows on from their status update or something on their profile. Some messages get opened and ignored, some deleted and some they reply and say they’re not interested (nice to be acknowledged) but the few I have had contact with have been quite charming and I’m here mainly to chat to women and get to know them and see where it leads.
So yeah, there’s a lot of rejection and once you realise it’s kind of a lottery on here - getting someone’s interest at the right moment is key, because as all you ladies know, you don’t half get bombarded with some shite in your mailbox! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Doesn't bother me.
I'm 40, bald. I may not be everyone's cup of tea but I know I'm someone's.
We all like and are looking for different things. It's ok.
If I really fell for someone and got rejected especially after a period of time then I'd probably be gutted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As someone VERY used to rejection I find these days it's not worth getting glad/sad/mad over. If it's going to happen it will. Never try and force it. Like a guinness advert: good things come to those who wait. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
