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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm struggling to understand why this is shallow. I'd say sensible. I don't have time to chat with those I don't find attractive, and It's a prerequisite for me to find someone attractive before agreeing to fuck them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not shallow at all. If I don't fancy someone visually then there's no point in talking. I usually want to see a face pic in the first few messages. No point chatting for days only to find out you don't fancy them later on. |
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block "
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?"
No one said that. Attraction is first level. I'm not even interested exploring if there's a mental connection without physical attraction. I want the whole package. |
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?"
It's got to be both. I don't ask for face pics, if men/couples messaging me ask to see one, I do, but only after a few messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?"
Looks first, then mental connection. My meets have to offer both - it's not a case of one or the other  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking."
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have boxes to tick before we will meet someone wether for a social or to fk, one of the main boxes is physical attraction for almost every member here, if you're not physically attracted why waste each other’s time seeing if you're attracted to their personality ect too? It’s a good way to search out what we are all individually looking for and see who we are compatible with |
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It is what it is. If you don't want to speak to someone you haven't seen, then don't.
If , like me, you think you get a better feel for that person from what they say, then the picture can wait a while.
Note I said A WHILE it generally comes within the initial conversation. |
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It’s neither shallow nor sensible, it’s about what ppl are here for and how they achieve that. If a face pic isn’t what determines if you meet someone that’s ok but for others it’s that physical attraction they want. They aren’t looking for a meeting of minds or emotional attachment so physical attraction may be enough. We all have different wants and needs, there is no right or wrong, shallow or sensible. You need to find ppl who want do the things the way you do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I ask for face pics first because there's more chance I'm not going to be attracted to the guy than the guy not being attracted to me. That isn't me blowing smoke up my arse but just the fact that *most* guys will literally fuck anything. |
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"We wouldn't waste too much time chatting to anyone who has no pics at all.A face pic swap early on is a must ,if no attraction it won't go any further.
Miss"
I cam. I find that pictures lie or to be more fair they never tell the whole story.
I'm always gobsmacked at the people who put all their faith in one picture that they have absolutely no way of knowing how valid it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I got a first message - how are you? Do you have a face pic?
I say no - end of conversation. I never send on a first message, but will after a few, when I've determined whether I think we will get on. Why risk my privacy if I don't think we will be compatible?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?"
The face pic gives you an idea if you're atraced enough to want to get to know them. The ongoing messages are to test the mental connection. Both and you're on to a winner. Most would prefer a face pic on first interaction so their time is not wasted on getting to know someone, only to find they don't fancy that person when they see their face. I would think that is fair enough and not shallow at all. We are talking about sexual encounters here. Wouldn't you want to be attracted to those you had sex with?  |
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"I got a first message - how are you? Do you have a face pic?
I say no - end of conversation. I never send on a first message, but will after a few, when I've determined whether I think we will get on. Why risk my privacy if I don't think we will be compatible??"
 |
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"We wouldn't waste too much time chatting to anyone who has no pics at all.A face pic swap early on is a must ,if no attraction it won't go any further.
Miss
I cam. I find that pictures lie or to be more fair they never tell the whole story.
I'm always gobsmacked at the people who put all their faith in one picture that they have absolutely no way of knowing how valid it is. "
We just use it as an initial guide to determine attraction and will swap more pics etc before we meet .Often a pic will tell you straight off that you won't ever be attracted to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got a first message - how are you? Do you have a face pic?
I say no - end of conversation. I never send on a first message, but will after a few, when I've determined whether I think we will get on. Why risk my privacy if I don't think we will be compatible??"
So you got a message from someone who does things differently to you? You weren't compatible. Great. Next! Doesn't mean either way is wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got a first message - how are you? Do you have a face pic?
I say no - end of conversation. I never send on a first message, but will after a few, when I've determined whether I think we will get on. Why risk my privacy if I don't think we will be compatible??"
I'd treat that as a guy having some standards and that he actually has to be attracted to someone in order for them to meet. But no, I wouldn't send a guy a face picture off his first message unless he'd provided a face picture of himself and I fancied him. |
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking.
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card"
Maybe I didn't make myself very clear about the scenario I was talking about:
Messenger 1: Here is a face pic, can I see one of you?
Messenger 2: of course (unless they don't like the look of messenger 1!)
An unacceptable scenario is:
Messenger 1: can I have a face pic? (Without attaching one of themselves)
That to me is plain rudeness and messenger 2 is entitled to ask for one first. |
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?
Looks first, then mental connection. My meets have to offer both - it's not a case of one or the other "
We've not met some really fit people once the messages start flowing and they show their lack of compatibility. Be it their ego, pushyness or lack of respect it doesn't take much to go from hero to zero. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking.
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card
Maybe I didn't make myself very clear about the scenario I was talking about:
Messenger 1: Here is a face pic, can I see one of you?
Messenger 2: of course (unless they don't like the look of messenger 1!)
An unacceptable scenario is:
Messenger 1: can I have a face pic? (Without attaching one of themselves)
That to me is plain rudeness and messenger 2 is entitled to ask for one first."
Ahh fair enough. First message sender should send the first face pic in my opinion. Not ask without attaching one themselves first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking.
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card
Maybe I didn't make myself very clear about the scenario I was talking about:
Messenger 1: Here is a face pic, can I see one of you?
Messenger 2: of course (unless they don't like the look of messenger 1!)
An unacceptable scenario is:
Messenger 1: can I have a face pic? (Without attaching one of themselves)
That to me is plain rudeness and messenger 2 is entitled to ask for one first."
not rude at all. you should respect the fact you've been asked.
it's rude not to send one. no one gives the woman / couple that power. the ration of men to other users might, but that's no excuse
if a man says that in reply to a couple they wouldn't entertain it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking.
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card
Maybe I didn't make myself very clear about the scenario I was talking about:
Messenger 1: Here is a face pic, can I see one of you?
Messenger 2: of course (unless they don't like the look of messenger 1!)
An unacceptable scenario is:
Messenger 1: can I have a face pic? (Without attaching one of themselves)
That to me is plain rudeness and messenger 2 is entitled to ask for one first."
I don't see it as rude or shallow. They want to fancy the person they fuck- I want that too.
I don't send face pics until I'm ready. If they don't like that then we're just not compatible that's all. No time wasted. |
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"I never send on a first message, but will after a few, when I've determined whether I think we will get on. Why risk my privacy if I don't think we will be compatible??"
I do the same - but I wouldn't call them shallow, just less concerned with privacy. |
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Why would I waste their time and mine spending hours or even days chatting to someone I don't find physically attractive and have no intention of meeting?
Why give them the impression that a meet is on the cards, cos lets face it half the time a guy thinks he is in with a chance if you reply to them, only to tell them it isn't going to happen several hours down the line.
Can you imagine the abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm thinking as long as your face is ok mental connection isn't important?"
With no attraction to the face I won't feel a mental attraction. I can enjoy talking to someone but I won't want to have sex with them and kiss their face; no matter how nice a person they are. |
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"slightly off track.... but a single man asks a couple of a woman to send a face pic, they normally reply with, yes after you
excuse me?! instant block
I wouldn't send a face pic first. If you are asking them for a face pic, you should provide one at the time of asking.
not really. I ask you if you're ok, you say, oh you answer first. then I'll tell you. come on?!
it's just manners. I have no issues sending a face pic at all, but draw the line when people think they can play that card
Maybe I didn't make myself very clear about the scenario I was talking about:
Messenger 1: Here is a face pic, can I see one of you?
Messenger 2: of course (unless they don't like the look of messenger 1!)
An unacceptable scenario is:
Messenger 1: can I have a face pic? (Without attaching one of themselves)
That to me is plain rudeness and messenger 2 is entitled to ask for one first.
not rude at all. you should respect the fact you've been asked.
it's rude not to send one. no one gives the woman / couple that power. the ration of men to other users might, but that's no excuse
if a man says that in reply to a couple they wouldn't entertain it. "
It's extremely rude if you don't attach one when you ask. Why should I give up my privacy, if you can't be bothered to? |
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