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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sit down. Have a good cry to get all my maudlin self pity out. Have a cup of tea and think. Then a good nights sleep. Depends on the bullshit. Is it emotional, financial, matters of the heart.
Then i tend to leave it a week and see how I feel about things. There is nothing like a bit of time and perspective. Nothing good comes of rash actions. As a hot headed person i know this from experience.
And if you need help or support then ask for it.
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I have wrapped myself in it and felt very, very comfortable. I know it's not good and I know it's not healthy. Leaving the comfort and security of the dark place seems like work at times, much harder than staying in dark place. Luckily for me I have always just enjoyed being there and never had the urge to go beyond yet. I know it's wrong and would hurt many people who don't deserve to be hurt in that way.
I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.
Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have wrapped myself in it and felt very, very comfortable. I know it's not good and I know it's not healthy. Leaving the comfort and security of the dark place seems like work at times, much harder than staying in dark place. Luckily for me I have always just enjoyed being there and never had the urge to go beyond yet. I know it's wrong and would hurt many people who don't deserve to be hurt in that way.
I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.
Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people. "
It can get comfortable, can't it? Change is work and sometimes it's too hard to take on any work to change.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you get to the point where there is so much shit shoveled on you and you can't see the sun, how do you dig yourself out ;-("
Have a wank...its short term but does take your mind off it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It varies.
Sometimes I hide away and wait for it to pass. Sometimes I will force myself to get up/out and do something constructive. Sometimes I just talk it through with someone, I'm lucky to have a super supportive partner and friends who are awesome!
Hope you're ok OP! And if you're not, I hope you feel better soon!
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"I have wrapped myself in it and felt very, very comfortable. I know it's not good and I know it's not healthy. Leaving the comfort and security of the dark place seems like work at times, much harder than staying in dark place. Luckily for me I have always just enjoyed being there and never had the urge to go beyond yet. I know it's wrong and would hurt many people who don't deserve to be hurt in that way.
I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.
Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people.
It can get comfortable, can't it? Change is work and sometimes it's too hard to take on any work to change.
"
Yes, super comfortable. I know I won't do anything stupid to harm myself but the thought or wish that it was all over can sometimes make me feel that an even more comfortable and safe place exists.
You are right, with pulls like that it really does require hard work to close the door on dark place and go back to people. |
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everyone is different. personally I allow myself some time to feel what I feel and then start with my coping strategies.
if things are too much and overwhelming- break them down in little things that are more managable. small steps. find out what's helpful to you to cope- if you are depressed it might be talking (friends, anyone, therapy), GP, physical activity, engaging in social interaction or events, managing your sleep hygiene, nutrition etc
have a cry or punch stuff (preferrably not others), find things to calm you down and clear your head and then start tackling the first mini step.
it gets easier I promise!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stop for a minute and:
- Think why am I doing this
- question what is more important
- what can I do to improve the situation
If there isn’t anything that will improve the situation, then I politely distance myself |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
I tend to find i keep it to myself. Then it atart to eat away at me until i feel the need to talk. But strangly i always find i can talk to strangers about stuff more than i can to people im close to. Just need to reach the point where you think to yourself enough is enough and put yourself first. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all so much, your kind words and advise has helped a little, i am going to hidden for a few days whilst I try to get my head around all the stuff that has landed on me. I will take the advise and speak to someone, as i do tend to bottle things up, and I know I shouldn't,
Stay safe fabsters
Mike |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you get to the point where there is so much shit shoveled on you and you can't see the sun, how do you dig yourself out ;-("
One piece at a time OP, sometimes you have to move the small pieces before you can move the big ones.
Only thing to keep in mind is fix your eye on the chink of sunlight and make sure you dig towards it not away from it.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Starting to get back to normal, taken a lot of advise and opened up to someone. It really helped and I have a better grasp of what is going on and what I need to do, so thanks all |
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