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Methods of rejection. A survey
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Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.
If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do
A. Ignore and delete your message
B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")
C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).
A for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.
If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do
A. Ignore and delete your message
B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")
C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).
A for us. "
Its A for everyone on here. |
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"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.
If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do
A. Ignore and delete your message
B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")
C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).
A for us. "
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't say I have a preference.
I send messages and then immediately delete from my sent box. Can't look then and get a nice surprise if you get a reply. I had one 3 months after sending a message a few weeks ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always reply if it clearly shows they have read our profile..but maybe a no thanks or a sorry you are not what we are looking for option would be good..at least the person sending the message as got a definitive reply rather than none at all |
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"I prefer A. I have no idea why guys always moan about not getting 'no thanks' replies. Who wants to log on, see you have mail, but then find its all 'no ta'?
"
That's our view. You get a message notification, get all excited and see its a rejection.
Why would you want that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored? "
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "
But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We sent a polite reply once and got told to fuck ourselves as we are to old and ugly  ... Won't be doing that again  "
Thats what your report button is for. Alot of people forget about that. |
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By *emptd2Man
over a year ago
Burgess Hill |
"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.
If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do
A. Ignore and delete your message
B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")
C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).
A for us. "
A or B. Depends on the message I send them. Normally i include if you're not interested delete the message at the end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it? "
They don't always delete. Just leave them there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been sending replies today, conversation type ones not just no thanks. And they are all deleted and ignored. Should I wail now
I generally do a mix of A and B |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "
Once I've sent a message I don't think about it again unless I get a reply. Don't check whether it's been read or deleted. It makes Fabs a lot less stressful if you're not monitoring it constantly. |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it?
They don't always delete. Just leave them there. "
As a general rule, if someone has been on line and hasn't replied within 24 hours, that's a rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita"
Does that show them that you're not interested? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested? "
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested? "
That's what I do, send and delete. It's the best way. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Kind of do B in that I always reply... I usually draw their attention to the words on our profile and then chat generally with anyone.... Im that mad woman who talks to the next person in the queue at Sainsburys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it. "
Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then? |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it. "
The recipient can read it but hopefully you will learn to be less stressed by the lack of a response.
The problem is having expectations that don't fit with the way the site actually works.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.
Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then? "
Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.
Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?
Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message. "
Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.
Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?
Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message.
Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact. "
No, it won’t change it. But it means that you don’t know if they’ve ignored it and ‘left you hanging’ or if they’ve deleted it. |
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"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?
I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.
The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.
Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.
Nita
Does that show them that you're not interested?
No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.
Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?
Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message.
Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact. "
Of course it won't.. only your perception. Hopefully 
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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B but to be honest there isn’t the time to reply to all messages tried to at start but it’s crazy busy ....... think a generic explanation/ add on in profile may hopefully would cover all bases and not offend any one x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A. Just read and delete. That's far easier.
Why would I want feed back over compatibility and their preferences?
I am who I am. If I've been a jerk then fair enough. But all I'm asking is if they'd like to meet, and if the answers no, I don't need much more unless I'm really insecure!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason. "
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile. |
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I do all three of them depending on what mood I'm in and how bored I am. Some people take C in good humour even when I've been a bit sarky (not often though guv, honest. ) whereas others seem to take offense at a generic (but polite) no thanks. When they get narky I'll sometimes wind them up which amuses me greatly. I love Fab and the forums, so much entertainment for so little cost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason.
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile. "
I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile. |
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I’m fine with being on the receiving end of A - people are busy and I don’t personally feel it’s a rude option, just an efficient one. I’m also relaxed (but I know it doesn’t suit everyone) if I get another message after a while from someone I’ve ‘A’d in the past - sometimes my inbox is a desert wasteland and (very) occasionally there’s more activity than I can cope with, so I’m sure I miss some gorgeous folk in the sheer volume of messages at those times! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason.
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.
I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile. "
You removed the pic Id like the most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason.
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.
I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.
You removed the pic Id like the most "
Which was that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason.
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.
I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.
You removed the pic Id like the most
Which was that? "
The one you removed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick
Report button is there for a reason.
Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty
You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.
I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.
You removed the pic Id like the most
Which was that?
The one you removed "
I've moved a few to my friends only. They aren't deleted. |
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