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Random acts of kindness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you do a RAOK and then tell everyone about it.... did u do it for them or for you?
Like many people I do RAOKs frequently but I wouldnt dream of bragging about it (or heaven forbid posing for a selfie with the recipient to post on other social media)
Or by posting it does it make others think about doing their own RAOK?
Is pay it forward better than RAOK? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Random acts of kindness are just that ,Kindness.
If a person has does something in kindness then goes on t brag about it on social media clearly just wants their five minutes of fame in my opinion.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't go on social media with selfies and all that but I do tell people, not because I expect or want praise, but because I'm normally genuinely touched by the person's reaction. "
So do u do it for their reaction or is that a secondary factor? Isnt it enough u know (not a criticism btw - genuinely interested in all feedback) |
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"If you do a RAOK and then tell everyone about it.... did u do it for them or for you?
Like many people I do RAOKs frequently but I wouldnt dream of bragging about it (or heaven forbid posing for a selfie with the recipient to post on other social media)
Or by posting it does it make others think about doing their own RAOK?
Is pay it forward better than RAOK?"
I generally feel disdain for people who feel they need to tell social media about their goodness x |
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"I don't go on social media with selfies and all that but I do tell people, not because I expect or want praise, but because I'm normally genuinely touched by the person's reaction.
So do u do it for their reaction or is that a secondary factor? Isnt it enough u know (not a criticism btw - genuinely interested in all feedback)"
Nah, I do it because it's who I am. Sometimes people's reactions to something I'd consider an every day act take me by surprise. I think it's good to tell people (I'm not talking bragging or blowing a trumpet) to remind others that they may not realise how much of a difference you can make to someone's day by not being an arsehole and having some consideration.
If someone is doing a good job, tell them. For all you know they could be questioning themselves, wondering if they're doing ok. They could be so self critical they're close to giving up, that nod to them, that "thank you for doing such a great job" can have a bigger impact than you'll ever know
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" If someone is doing a good job, tell them. For all you know they could be questioning themselves, wondering if they're doing ok. They could be so self critical they're close to giving up, that nod to them, that "thank you for doing such a great job" can have a bigger impact than you'll ever know
"
Oh absolutely but is that a RAOK or just good manners?
I agree that you should always appreciate people. Please and thank you go far. I am one of lifes complainers where there is issues so the flip side is reporting when people go above and beyond. But i wouldnt tell people about it... or post on social media (taking it to the extreme). |
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" If someone is doing a good job, tell them. For all you know they could be questioning themselves, wondering if they're doing ok. They could be so self critical they're close to giving up, that nod to them, that "thank you for doing such a great job" can have a bigger impact than you'll ever know
Oh absolutely but is that a RAOK or just good manners?
I agree that you should always appreciate people. Please and thank you go far. I am one of lifes complainers where there is issues so the flip side is reporting when people go above and beyond. But i wouldnt tell people about it... or post on social media (taking it to the extreme)."
I think it goes further than manners. Please and thank you should be a given even though we know they aren't. There are many ways you can show appreciation.
Maybe it's just me, but I do like to share the good feeling and happiness, as I say, normally as an example of how you can turn someone's day around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's very few truly altruistic people in the world.
We all enjoy a little recognition, so if our kids and impressionable members of society see how it's applauded were setting a good example and starting a trend?
After all OP your post laments those who want recognition yet you highlight how you carry out such acts? |
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true."
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again."
You still did it for yourself though, it wasn't a selfless act. |
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again.
You still did it for yourself though, it wasn't a selfless act."
No it wasn't totally selfless, I enjoy seeing people smile. I get a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I have done something for another person that HAS made a difference no matter how small.
I am far from sweetness and light tho, if someone is a cunt, they'll know about that too. |
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I think ultimately you do it for your conscious and to make you feel good as I believe giving to others does (and that's no crime) just sometimes it's hard to do it anonymously. I bought fish and chips today for an old gent in the queue(who spent ages counting his 10p's) and I think he was a bit offended until I explained it was more for me than him, bless him!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you do a RAOK and then tell everyone about it.... did u do it for them or for you?
Like many people I do RAOKs frequently but I wouldnt dream of bragging about it (or heaven forbid posing for a selfie with the recipient to post on other social media)
Or by posting it does it make others think about doing their own RAOK?
Is pay it forward better than RAOK?"
Did you just tell us about how you do random acts of kindness on a social media site?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" There's very few truly altruistic people in the world.
We all enjoy a little recognition, so if our kids and impressionable members of society see how it's applauded were setting a good example and starting a trend?
After all OP your post laments those who want recognition yet you highlight how you carry out such acts?"
Me personally? Ive done all sorts over the yrs. Many times where the act itself wouldnt be known immediately. But I wouldnt be so crass as to list them here for a pat on the back. I didnt do them at the time for that and I didnt start the post for that.
What started my musing was reading earlier about a homeless charity worker buying sleeping bags and the person behind them in the queue paid for them - 300 pounds when they realised that a charity was buying them. No names all anonymously.
Then u get people who will donate to a homesless person and then make a big "look at me" deal about it.
Yes maybe making acts public encourages others. Thats why I was interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get a buzz from helping others so if that makes me selfish so be it. If more people helped one another the world would be a better place. "
It isnt selfish at all. And I 100% agree...the world would be a better place. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you do a RAOK and then tell everyone about it.... did u do it for them or for you?
Like many people I do RAOKs frequently but I wouldnt dream of bragging about it (or heaven forbid posing for a selfie with the recipient to post on other social media)
Or by posting it does it make others think about doing their own RAOK?
Is pay it forward better than RAOK?"
Great question! The posting of selfies of them doing 'good things' are definitely for attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people want to do it for the attention they get then so what. Most important thing is the act is being done so whatever the reason behind it to me it’s of no concern |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people want to do it for the attention they get then so what. Most important thing is the act is being done so whatever the reason behind it to me it’s of no concern "
I agree with this. No matter what the reason behind this random act of kindness, it's still an act of kindness. I don't believe there is such a thing as a completely selfless act. We all denote some sort of pleasure from doing something for someone else, Whether we look for attention/recognition or not. The act is the most important thing. It's much more preferable to hear about these than the atrocities that are committed by some  |
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"If people want to do it for the attention they get then so what. Most important thing is the act is being done so whatever the reason behind it to me it’s of no concern "
I disagree, if I was down on my luck and living on the streets I'd rather not accept something if someone had an ulterior motive and wanted to take selfies with me for buying me a sandwich.
Raok should be done from the heart not because you want something out of it in return.
Just my opinion and appreciate others will disagree
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you do a RAOK and then tell everyone about it.... did u do it for them or for you?
Like many people I do RAOKs frequently but I wouldnt dream of bragging about it (or heaven forbid posing for a selfie with the recipient to post on other social media)
Or by posting it does it make others think about doing their own RAOK?
Is pay it forward better than RAOK?"
In my opinion pay it forward is a great idea if only more people did it without thinking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true."
Not true. I don't do favours; I help people who I think need the help. I get nothing from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people want to do it for the attention they get then so what. Most important thing is the act is being done so whatever the reason behind it to me it’s of no concern
I disagree, if I was down on my luck and living on the streets I'd rather not accept something if someone had an ulterior motive and wanted to take selfies with me for buying me a sandwich.
Raok should be done from the heart not because you want something out of it in return.
Just my opinion and appreciate others will disagree
"
If a homeless person gets looked after by someone carrying out a random act of kindness then the most important thing is they are getting looked after. If someone wants to pay themselves on the back for doin so then that’s up to them. In your scenario the person on the streets isn’t gettin looked after
No mate keep your money and shelter, if you’re gonna brag about this I’d rather stay outside an starve  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trying to cut a long story short....A few years ago and i was based in Germany...There was a tramp that would always try to camp out by our base for saftey but he kept getting moved on by the lads...I did chat to him and you could see he was a good guy and he was just trying to pick himself up...When ever I spotted him I would always make sure he had food even if it meant passing him my snacks....Anyway my ex that was German would always leave me postage notes everywhere with random,love,sex,or personal massages on them...One of the last times I spoke to the tramp I passed him my sandwiches but from then he avoided me...Weeks later I told my ex and she couldn't breath through laughter...she then told me that she was confused why I didn't mention the dirty message she had left in my sandwich wrapper saying....fick mich heute Nacht (Fuck me tonght)....that tramp never spoke to me again.
Good deed gone bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Not true. I don't do favours; I help people who I think need the help. I get nothing from it. "
Then why do you do it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trying to cut a long story short....A few years ago and i was based in Germany...There was a tramp that would always try to camp out by our base for saftey but he kept getting moved on by the lads...I did chat to him and you could see he was a good guy and he was just trying to pick himself up...When ever I spotted him I would always make sure he had food even if it meant passing him my snacks....Anyway my ex that was German would always leave me postage notes everywhere with random,love,sex,or personal massages on them...One of the last times I spoke to the tramp I passed him my sandwiches but from then he avoided me...Weeks later I told my ex and she couldn't breath through laughter...she then told me that she was confused why I didn't mention the dirty message she had left in my sandwich wrapper saying....fick mich heute Nacht (Fuck me tonght)....that tramp never spoke to me again.
Good deed gone bad."
Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again.
You still did it for yourself though, it wasn't a selfless act."
But by that reasoning there is no such thing as a selfless act |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again.
You still did it for yourself though, it wasn't a selfless act.
But by that reasoning there is no such thing as a selfless act"
Because there isn't...
I know it's a sad way of seeing it but unless you're not of conscious mind selfless act doesn't exist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything and everything you do, is for you. It may appear you're doing someone a favour but that's not true.
Mine aren't favours. I don't see it like that at all.
I was at work, a child was kind to another child. I went and got the kind child a gift, I gave it to the child's parent and told them the reason why. That I was so impressed with their kids compassion for others and how they should be really proud. Parent gets a boost and reassurance they're doing a great job raising their kid. Kid gets a reward for behaving in a sweet and caring way.
I dont work in a school or anything like that. I shall probably never see the parent or child again.
You still did it for yourself though, it wasn't a selfless act.
But by that reasoning there is no such thing as a selfless act
Because there isn't...
I know it's a sad way of seeing it but unless you're not of conscious mind selfless act doesn't exist."
I had this same argument with a good friend for hours, a few months ago  |
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