FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Well back to the drawing board!

Well back to the drawing board!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've respectfully called time on dating the second guy. He could tell I wasn't into it fully but I was trying really hard but I was still hung up on the guy I met Dec/Jan time. Didn't help that second guy was 1st guys boss and they were based in the same place. Didn't help that I bumped into first guy whilst I was staying at the base with second guy.

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Although a couple who DiD meet on here are getting married.....go figure.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I've heard that before from guys answering forum threads. You know know where they say it's ok to shag women on here but they wouldn't introduce them to their mum kind of thing.

Sorry to hear about guy no 2.

Are you on dating sites anyway?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Awwww OP.

I think you should ask your real life mates if they know of any single men you might like. Have a look at work or dads at school.

I don't think this site is the right place for you to find a partner.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I know how you feel, but alas I don't have any suggestions as I am feeling in the same boat as yourself.

I joined POF the other week and it's just as bad to be honest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no idea where to find you a guy that’s right for you but please don’t leave !

I’ll miss you.

Especially as you said you liked my chin... I haven’t washed it since, just in case the nice came off like

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why not just use the forums here.

And stop looking. I think we meet people when not really looking. Also try a new hobby like tri club, running, swimming , even salsa dancing. Somewhere you’ll meet new people, not necessarily to date but as friends. From there who knows what will happen. I had two long term relationships that started as friendships.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to hear the second guy didn't work out. I honestly don't think you will find a single guy on here looking for love. Most guys on here want variety and free sex, not a relationship. Just stay for the chat and maybe try a proper dating site to find a decent fella. This is, after all, a swinging sex site. x

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yeah, I would say just use the forums, look for a proper relationship on the dating sites and in the real world, and then you can delete your profile on here sharpish if you find the man of your dreams!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Getting rid of this woukd be hard, I've been here 7 years but guys need to drop their misconceptions of women on here. What's good for the goose and all that.

I was speaking to my mates bf's friend Monday, absolute gent, the nicest most polite guy you'd meet, too young for me and not my type but anyhow, he said he'd never make a girlfriend out of anyone he met here and even if she was perfect in every way he'd be gutted cos she was from here.

I said to him what if you met a woman in bible club that had gangbangs every night and had shagged thousands of guys, that would be ok just cos she's from 'the real world.' Me I've shagged 6 guys in 7 years from here, couldn't be further away from the dirty slaggy tag that they give women on here, not being disrespectful but that's the view most guys share. Ok to fuck but not date.

I want the first guy, wish I hadn't been so much drama and head work, couldn't help it though, could feel him slipping and it made me want to hang on to him more and in doing so made me get all erratic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Getting rid of this woukd be hard, I've been here 7 years but guys need to drop their misconceptions of women on here. What's good for the goose and all that.

It's shit wanting someone you can't have. No matter how perfect you think it would be.

I wouldn't date anyone off here because many would think I'm a slag for being on here. The rest would want a swinger wife type so he'd be disappointed and frustrated with me. So bad idea all round.

Stay for the forums!

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By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

OP you need to stop looking so hard, love and romance has a way of finding you when you least expect it, often it is pure luck and chance.

We have been together nearly 30 years now but it was pure luck which resulted in us meeting in the first place. I had joined the army and my mum moved towns so a few years later when I came home on leave I knew absolutely nobody. I made a decision to go out for a few drinks on my own and ended up toward the end of the night in a local nightclub, she had been dragged out by her friend as she didn't want to go out that night. We quite literally bumped into one another at the night club when her friend pushed her into me apparently saying talk to him he looks nice. The rest as they say is history.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

and do pray tell is the good authority? I do believe there was a wedding today from here wasn't there so that's rubbish.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"and do pray tell is the good authority? I do believe there was a wedding today from here wasn't there so that's rubbish. "

Hmm although yeah don't know if they still swing,maybe they do.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The irony is, as with many things in life, the tighter you grip, the more likely you are to let things slip through your fingers.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"The irony is, as with many things in life, the tighter you grip, the more likely you are to let things slip through your fingers. "

Yep people need to breathe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just humour me. There's no chance I could salvage or claw anything back with the 1st guy is there? He's gone from here, he blocked my number on WhatsApp and iMessage so no way of contacting him, plus I slept with his boss, but don't think he is aware of that.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Just humour me. There's no chance I could salvage or claw anything back with the 1st guy is there? He's gone from here, he blocked my number on WhatsApp and iMessage so no way of contacting him, plus I slept with his boss, but don't think he is aware of that. "

No you can't salvage anything and he has probably already presumed you have slept with his boss, so I would just drop that line of enquiry

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If he has blocked you in every way possible that is a HUGE hint that he doesn't want to hear from you. If you try to find a way of contacting him he's likely to think you are stalking him and just as unhinged as he thought.

Stop wanting what is lost - it is stopping you from seeing and appreciating what is available.

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"OP you need to stop looking so hard, love and romance has a way of finding you when you least expect it, often it is pure luck and chance.

I agree... you won't find love all the time you are looking for it.

We met here, he was married and just wanted sex on the side. I was single and just wanted another fwb... a year later he left his wife and moved in.

Sometimes love grows when youleast expect it.

Stop looking for it. Men pick up on that sort of needyness and it tends to make them run for the hills. Let love find you while you are busy enjoying being single.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Enjoy life, you can't force or manufacture relationships most marriages and relationships happen by a chance meeting, through a work place, hobby or night out. Personally I'd step away from dating websites, you seem to have quite a descriptive list of qualities that you look for so will overlook men that don't meet your criteria, and end up turning away Mr Perfect.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Enjoy life, you can't force or manufacture relationships most marriages and relationships happen by a chance meeting, through a work place, hobby or night out. Personally I'd step away from dating websites, you seem to have quite a descriptive list of qualities that you look for so will overlook men that don't meet your criteria, and end up turning away Mr Perfect.

Ginger "

Actually I've been commended by my best friend for trying as long as I did. I stepped away from penis size and height and extreme handsomeness and any other superficial quality. Second guy was normal and I did enjoy spending time with him I just couldn't give him what he wanted. He felt like he was pestering me for sex and the two occasions we did it he felt like I was forcing myself, even said that he didn't think I was a very sexual person. I just hope he doesn't discuss me with the first guy cos if the first guy describes our time we met they'd be very different. I just didn't have that lust feeling but with time I was hoping it would eventually come, I'd only really dated him 3 months.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Resign yourself to being single forever. I have and I'm enjoying myself with no pressure sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've respectfully called time on dating the second guy. He could tell I wasn't into it fully but I was trying really hard but I was still hung up on the guy I met Dec/Jan time. Didn't help that second guy was 1st guys boss and they were based in the same place. Didn't help that I bumped into first guy whilst I was staying at the base with second guy.

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

We met here ... been together a year now!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ginger

Well I'm glad you've looked beyond the superficial, men get a bad press but the majority are good eggs. I think if you ask a lot of women what their ideal man looks like they wouldn't always describe their partner, it sounds bad, but I don't think it is; it just shows that you never know who you'll fall for. I hope you find your happiness.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know how you feel, but alas I don't have any suggestions as I am feeling in the same boat as yourself.

I joined POF the other week and it's just as bad to be honest

Totally agree

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I know how you feel, but alas I don't have any suggestions as I am feeling in the same boat as yourself.

I joined POF the other week and it's just as bad to be honest

Totally agree"

I don't think it matters what sites people join I feel that the lack of social skills is severely lacking!

Even just striking up a normal conversation is like pulling hens' teeth

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"Getting rid of this woukd be hard, I've been here 7 years but guys need to drop their misconceptions of women on here. What's good for the goose and all that.

You don't have to tell people that you are wanting to date that you've been on here. I used to tell girls in the interest of "openess" they all broke up with me, either explicitly because of it, or "coincidentally" a day or so later.

It's no business of anyone you date who you shagged in your past and, indeed, I have had it pointed out to me that if you did tell someone, they would more than likely assume that you were doing it because you wanted them to be into swinging too.

Now I never mention this place to dates. Still single though.

Came close to not being about a month ago but....meh.

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By *eep.Man over a year ago

Just a background character

Interesting post. I think PoF seems to be full of people who just want a shag while claiming to be looking for a relationship, whereas this place is intended for people who just want a shag, but probably has a high number of people who would want a relationship.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Interesting post. I think PoF seems to be full of people who just want a shag while claiming to be looking for a relationship, whereas this place is intended for people who just want a shag, but probably has a high number of people who would want a relationship.

But think the women here must be slags, so not worth the effort in even showing them respect in my experience

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

But think the women here must be slags, so not worth the effort in even showing them respect in my experience

POF is the worse for the partially sane, in my experience. Had much more luck on Tinder or Bumble

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But think the women here must be slags, so not worth the effort in even showing them respect in my experience

And dirty minded. We're all filthy you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plan less OP

Live more

Life and love have a habit of finding you without all the searching

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

But think the women here must be slags, so not worth the effort in even showing them respect in my experience

POF is the worse for the partially sane, in my experience. Had much more luck on Tinder or Bumble"

But were you just looking for a shag on those sites is my question?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

But think the women here must be slags, so not worth the effort in even showing them respect in my experience

And dirty minded. We're all filthy you know. "

Forgot that opinion but your right!

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here."

I was seeing a guy (solely) for 6 months on here when he turned into a cunt by saying as long as you are on here, you wont get any respect! He spent the next year trying to apologise just so he could shag me again. It didn't work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tinder, is far and away the best one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here."

Maybe for the short term, but, and this is my own personal opinion, I think men like to feel the woman they're dating is a challenge and not easily won over. Which is the antithesis is what fab is all about. Even if the woman hasnt had sex with *anyone* here. She's still here.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here."

Tht's total rubbish, in my experience. The majority of men ( and women) would find you being on here quite disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

Tht's total rubbish, in my experience. The majority of men ( and women) would find you being on here quite disgusting. "

Disgusting, sort of prudish blokes do you know?!

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

Tht's total rubbish, in my experience. The majority of men ( and women) would find you being on here quite disgusting.

Disgusting, sort of prudish blokes do you know?! "

None, most of my mates are pretty liberal but they see swingers as being mostly old and also incredibly STD ridden.

I'm a bit of a novelty to ones ive told.

And to be fair, they kind of have a point - weren't singers supposed to be responsible for the spread of the new, more virulent strain of gonorrhea?

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here."

How come you didn't turn up in my SW searches? I was in Exeter this week.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think it really matters what site your on its hard to get to know someone until u actually meet them too many people aren't as confident in real life as they are online plus bumping into one whilst with the other is just bad luck

I'm not having much luck at all i was wondering if you could point me in the right direction

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here."

I think the majority of men will *say* they don't mind you being on here because they know it's the right thing to say to make them appear right on. Whether they actually believe it is another thing altogether. The number of people not just men who genuinely don't care are in the minority in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

It makes me bit sad to consider this,but do wonder if it is true for some.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

People are on here for a whole variety of different reasons. To some it’s purely sexual and to others predominantly social. I often find it’s a case of just relaxing and enjoying yourself - whether it’s the forums, chat rooms or just messaging people. You never know who may suddenly cross your path.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

I forgot to say I have not had sex in over a year due to this point of view as I want a guy to like me for me (not date) just show enough respect, until then I will unhappily stay in celibacy (I don't have the luxury of meeting else where) but it is what it is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally know three couples all who have meet on here and one has a brand new bub now .... some still swing others don’t .....

You just don’t know where love will come from xx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

It makes me bit sad to consider this,but do wonder if it is true for some.

It doesn't make me sad, it does make me think I'm flaming lucky that my partner doesn't think that way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s such a generalisation, depends person to person, but the majority of men wouldn’t mind that you were on here.

How come you didn't turn up in my SW searches? I was in Exeter this week.

I have no idea, when you down next?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My experience of men (which is fairly limited to be fair) tends to give me the impression that although they say they’d be alright with meeting a woman on here, they actually would prefer a “wholesome” gal who they then discover after 3 dates is a bit of sexual dynamo.

Rather than meeting a sexual dynamo in the first place and then having to put the effort into dating her. There is no mystery left to uncover.

Why buy the book when you’re already borrowed it from the Library kind of thing.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"My experience of men (which is fairly limited to be fair) tends to give me the impression that although they say they’d be alright with meeting a woman on here, they actually would prefer a “wholesome” gal who they then discover after 3 dates is a bit of sexual dynamo.

Rather than meeting a sexual dynamo in the first place and then having to put the effort into dating her. There is no mystery left to uncover.

Why buy the book when you’re already borrowed it from the Library kind of thing."

Some books never get returned to the library.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That Cupid is an evil git, when you are looking for love the bastard ignores you. When you stop looking he jabs you in the arse with his arrows, in the most unlikely of places.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rather than meeting a sexual dynamo in the first place and then having to put the effort into dating her. There is no mystery left to uncover.

Why buy the book when you’re already borrowed it from the Library kind of thing.

Some books never get returned to the library.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can draw a good arrow if that helps

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Rather than meeting a sexual dynamo in the first place and then having to put the effort into dating her. There is no mystery left to uncover.

Why buy the book when you’re already borrowed it from the Library kind of thing."

Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'd clear myself before moving on to new decisions and opportunities

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off."

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene. "

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

Well obviously! Wimins is always mysterious

Thinking about it, between marriages when I was doing the dating thing (not heard of Fab, and never tried online dating back then) the women who were rejected fast were those who tried to use sex as currency.

Only interested in women who do things for fun not advantage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

It absolutely sucks and it's massive double standards but that's the problems that single people encounter these days.

Going back 18 years when people were only really just about starting to have computers in the house and way before smart phones where internet was just there in your pocket along with 100's of dating and hook up sites.

People are disposable these days, any slight thing can make someone just give up and move on to the next person.

My friends bf (military) says guys he works with can be sitting there having a conversation with tinder open on their phone and they're just swiping right (yes) to people on tinder without even looking at the pictures just to increase their chances of hooking up with someone.

It's fucking incredibly hard these days to get anywhere past dating stages with guys cos they know that they can just get any other bird of you do the slightest thing wrong.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

Help me out here before I think and say the wrong things......

Are they both in the forces?

Is the 'base' a forces base ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

Help me out here before I think and say the wrong things......

Are they both in the forces?

Is the 'base' a forces base ?"

Yeah are but not the same regiment although as they're both based at the same place he is technically his boss. Even when 1st guy went to the Middle East for 3 weeks the day after I first met him, 2nd guy was there with them for the first week.

It's all done now though, I know now that I only invested so much time and interest in the second guy because of his link with the first guy, which was stupid. I still massively like the first guy though.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There's a reason why there are so many more males than females here.

Why people think that women have been liberated and men are feminists evades me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There's a reason why there are so many more males than females here.

Why people think that women have been liberated and men are feminists evades me."

That's depressing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've met men from here who told me I have too many regular partners or that I should only have sex with them, as they don't want to be one of my harem. They all wanted sex with more than one woman though. One even wanted me to only have sex with him but find other women for no 3 somes. It's a fucking joke sometimes. Although I don't think it's impossible to meet someone here for a relationship, I wouldn't look on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've met men from here who told me I have too many regular partners or that I should only have sex with them, as they don't want to be one of my harem. They all wanted sex with more than one woman though. One even wanted me to only have sex with him but find other women for no 3 somes. It's a fucking joke sometimes. Although I don't think it's impossible to meet someone here for a relationship, I wouldn't look on here."

To quote Ms Allen...

" If I told you 'bout my sex life, you'd call me a slut.

When men be talkin' 'bout their bitches, no one's making a fuss"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This isn't the first place to look if you're looking for a relationship.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

[Removed by poster at 30/03/18 16:34:17]

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

Friends of ours from here are, currently as I write this in Vegas on their honeymoon after getting married last week.

It can work, you know your value and you have your own self worth. Fuck what others think, any guy that is ment for you will see that too.

Hold your head high and enjoy life. Love will find you when it is ment to.

Xxxx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

It absolutely sucks and it's massive double standards but that's the problems that single people encounter these days.

People are disposable these days, any slight thing can make someone just give up and move on to the next person.

It's fucking incredibly hard these days to get anywhere past dating stages with guys cos they know that they can just get any other bird of you do the slightest thing wrong.

Don't women know that they can do the same?

If a guy has that attitude he's not in any relationship for the long haul therefore not worth investing yourself in emotionally if you do want that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

It absolutely sucks and it's massive double standards but that's the problems that single people encounter these days.

People are disposable these days, any slight thing can make someone just give up and move on to the next person.

It's fucking incredibly hard these days to get anywhere past dating stages with guys cos they know that they can just get any other bird of you do the slightest thing wrong.

Don't women know that they can do the same?

If a guy has that attitude he's not in any relationship for the long haul therefore not worth investing yourself in emotionally if you do want that."

But women usually don't want to do the same as men, go from man to man having meaningless sex.

If you didn't have the emotional security and love of your husband, would you be happy just shagging loads of random guys all the time?

I want just one guy to be in love with and have it returned but how do you get that when all that's around you are guys that essentially just want to fuck as many women as they can, knowing that they basically have an endless supply.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

It absolutely sucks and it's massive double standards but that's the problems that single people encounter these days.

People are disposable these days, any slight thing can make someone just give up and move on to the next person.

It's fucking incredibly hard these days to get anywhere past dating stages with guys cos they know that they can just get any other bird of you do the slightest thing wrong.

Don't women know that they can do the same?

If a guy has that attitude he's not in any relationship for the long haul therefore not worth investing yourself in emotionally if you do want that.

But women usually don't want to do the same as men, go from man to man having meaningless sex.

If you didn't have the emotional security and love of your husband, would you be happy just shagging loads of random guys all the time?

I don't think they all do.

I certainly don't - I guess things like Tinder do make life easy for those who do though.

As I said in my posts, women can be equally willing to bail as soon as things aren't perfect.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Isn't it odd that so many people see sex as something that women need to withhold in order to encourage a man into a relationship

A guy would need to be showing me that he was a book worth buying from the off.

Both women I married, I slept with on the night we met. There does seem to be some very odd views from some on the scene.

Spot on.

This is what I don't understand about the way people perceive women.

Both parties agree to have sex with one another under certain conditions but due to their gender one of them is less worthy than the other of a long term relationship because they "gave up" sex.

Mr N and I had sex on our first meeting he still finds me flaming mysterious at times

It absolutely sucks and it's massive double standards but that's the problems that single people encounter these days.

People are disposable these days, any slight thing can make someone just give up and move on to the next person.

It's fucking incredibly hard these days to get anywhere past dating stages with guys cos they know that they can just get any other bird of you do the slightest thing wrong.

Don't women know that they can do the same?

If a guy has that attitude he's not in any relationship for the long haul therefore not worth investing yourself in emotionally if you do want that.

But women usually don't want to do the same as men, go from man to man having meaningless sex.

If you didn't have the emotional security and love of your husband, would you be happy just shagging loads of random guys all the time?

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?

I don't think I'd be happy shagging loads of random guys all the time, you're right. However if I was in a position (god forbid) where I was dating if I got the faintest whiff that a guy would ditch me for someone else if I put a foot wrong I'd be off as fast as my legs would carry me.

I don't know how you find someone to be in love with but if all around you are guys who basically want to fuck as many women as they can you need to change the guys that are all around you. It seems a simple and obvious solution and I know it isn't easy to achieve but if what you're looking for isn't in the places you're looking, the only answer is to look elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?"

Because most men aren't honest about what their intentions are, some will tell you what you want to hear, some will say they want a relationship or anything just so they can sleep with you.

"I don't think I'd be happy shagging loads of random guys all the time, you're right. However if I was in a position (god forbid) where I was dating if I got the faintest whiff that a guy would ditch me for someone else if I put a foot wrong I'd be off as fast as my legs would carry me."

But it's like that from the start, you know that they can ditch you at any point if you put a foot wrong so on that basis no dating would take place at all.

"I don't know how you find someone to be in love with but if all around you are guys who basically want to fuck as many women as they can you need to change the guys that are all around you. It seems a simple and obvious solution and I know it isn't easy to achieve but if what you're looking for isn't in the places you're looking, the only answer is to look elsewhere."

A simple obvious solution which isn't easy to achieve, that's an oxymoron right there. I look everywhere all around me. I've been single since 2009 I'm not getting any younger and it's getting pretty boring and lonely.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?

Because most men aren't honest about what their intentions are, some will tell you what you want to hear, some will say they want a relationship or anything just so they can sleep with you.

But it's like that from the start, you know that they can ditch you at any point if you put a foot wrong so on that basis no dating would take place at all.

Simple solutions aren't always easy to achieve. If I want to go to Australia the most simple and obvious solution is to get the next available plane but if I have neither passport nor money it's not going to be easy to achieve.

I suggested you change what's around you i.e. surround yourself with different men. If you don't want to do that you will continue to meet the same type of man.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman over a year ago

Somewhere

"Getting rid of this woukd be hard, I've been here 7 years but guys need to drop their misconceptions of women on here. What's good for the goose and all that.

I hear you !!

I invested money and time on dating sites and I have spotted so many men from Fab on them .

I would like to know will they be honest and tell a future girlfriends that they are on here and what they have done.

Don’t lower your standards for anyone and be loyal to yourself.

A right man will want you for who you are. We all have a past . Accepting a person with their past is a quality .

Hugs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thoughts on OP's dilemma...

Seems the 2 guys mentioned are forces types. I know a little about that and other alpha male groups, especially those who live and work with shallow roots, i.e. live on base move lock stock and barrel when the orders come in.

Everything that doesn't fit in your rucksack is disposable.

With that in mind, perhaps nice couples advice to look elsewhere makes more sense?

I don't identify with the way you describe men. Have had many NSA encounters for a brief period, not as a swinger as such, didn't discover that until my second wife. It was just a time of life when women were easy to find, and emotional wreckage plus 2 kids, made a second date not viable.

But mostly I interacted with women in the hope of finding more than sex. There are many men who do... But possibly not through internet take away menus?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?

Because most men aren't honest about what their intentions are, some will tell you what you want to hear, some will say they want a relationship or anything just so they can sleep with you.

But it's like that from the start, you know that they can ditch you at any point if you put a foot wrong so on that basis no dating would take place at all.

I suggested you change what's around you i.e. surround yourself with different men. If you don't want to do that you will continue to meet the same type of man. "

You're 61 years old and you've been with your husband how long? I'm guessing longer than 20 years. It's easy for you to say well you need to do this or you need to do that, you have someone, you have sex on the side, that's all you want or need so it's impossible for you to understand what it's like to be co pletely single in this day in age with the technology you have.

I wouldn't dream of telling you how to improve your marriage or anything like that because I'm not in your situation, I don't know the dynamics from the inside, I find it annoying/disrespectful when you constantly say how easy shit is when you're not living it every day.

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I once met a lady on here who I was more than happy to introduce to my mum and friends. There’s far more to ladies on here than being sex objects. Sadly most men don’t realise it.

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Rather than meeting a sexual dynamo in the first place and then having to put the effort into dating her. There is no mystery left to uncover.

Why buy the book when you’re already borrowed it from the Library kind of thing."

I like this. I think you’ve got it bang on. They want to meet someone to have fantastic sex with but don’t want someone that’s been out having fantastic sex with someone else first lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?

Because most men aren't honest about what their intentions are, some will tell you what you want to hear, some will say they want a relationship or anything just so they can sleep with you.

But it's like that from the start, you know that they can ditch you at any point if you put a foot wrong so on that basis no dating would take place at all.

I suggested you change what's around you i.e. surround yourself with different men. If you don't want to do that you will continue to meet the same type of man.

I think you make a good point, speaking to friends a similar age to you, you certainly aren't alone in finding it difficult to meet someone. Technology has really changed the way in which people interact with each other, they join dating site after dating site each with the premise of being better than the last, but ultimately it's the same people and sex is the ultimate goal of the vast majority of men, as someone else said it's seen as a take away menu.

There is no magic wand to find love, but it's usually found when you least expect it, I think you just need to not to look too hard for it, but it's easier said than done.

Ginger

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"Getting rid of this woukd be hard, I've been here 7 years but guys need to drop their misconceptions of women on here. What's good for the goose and all that.

I hear you !!

I invested money and time on dating sites and I have spotted so many men from Fab on them .

I would like to know will they be honest and tell a future girlfriends that they are on here and what they have done.

Don’t lower your standards for anyone and be loyal to yourself.

A right man will want you for who you are. We all have a past . Accepting a person with their past is a quality .

Hugs

The OP is on Fabs and also on dating sites, and so am I.

So What?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If women don't want to go from man to man having meaningless sex how are these guys facilitating it?

Because most men aren't honest about what their intentions are, some will tell you what you want to hear, some will say they want a relationship or anything just so they can sleep with you.

But it's like that from the start, you know that they can ditch you at any point if you put a foot wrong so on that basis no dating would take place at all.

I suggested you change what's around you i.e. surround yourself with different men. If you don't want to do that you will continue to meet the same type of man.

I'm not saying it's easy. I'm suggesting solutions. If you don't want to consider them fair enough. However if you think that attempts to honestly help you out of the situations you find yourself in are disrespectful I'll stop of course. You might want to consider how helpful to you in the long run sympathy and agreeing with you that its all the men's fault is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You seem to have a type and that seems not to be working - why not expand your horizons?

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

You do come across as a bit desperate to find someone or something to love and cherish you. Men often dont find this attractive in women.

Relax enjoy and think a little more freely ...go with the flow and what will be will be.

If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You seem to have a type and that seems not to be working - why not expand your horizons?"

I strayed away from my type with the second guy, he was under 6 foot, not out of this world handsome but just normal looking, penis was normal size. I tried for 3 months but couldn't do anymore. He could tell I wasn't into it and the two times we did it he said it felt like I was forcing myself to do it just to keep him happy, I couldn't argue with that. It was purely the link he had to the first guy and the chance to bump into the first guy again that kept me interested although in time I could have grown to love this guy cos I did actually enjoy the friendship side, just didn't have lustful thoughts towards him.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"You seem to have a type and that seems not to be working - why not expand your horizons?

Well that's a bit messed up isn't it,poor sod. The second guy that is.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"You seem to have a type and that seems not to be working - why not expand your horizons?

Can't you see that you didn't actually change your type? You chose to use someone to get close to the person who is your type?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got...

Just a thought OP....

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

Now I don't know what to do, do I stay on here and try and find someone or invest myself in dating sites. I have it on good authority that guys looking for a normal non swinging relationship wouldn't even consider dating someone from here. "
You have it on good authority? What authority is that then? I pity you having to make so many decisions ...join a website or not join a website?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

You have it on good authority? What authority is that then? I pity you having to make so many decisions ...join a website or not join a website?

Many years of reading other women say that the men on here consider them good enough to fuck but not date. The 100's of men I've spoken with;in a friendly capacity, who have said how they use the this place as a stop gap between finding someone to date/have a relationship with in the real world but wouldn't have a relationship with anyone they've met on here. My own experiences with men, and just knowing that guys will fuck from here but to date they would prefer someone that is more wholesome. That is what I base my decision on, I didn't just pluck such a bold statement out of thin air.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm alright although calling time on second guy kind of brings me back to getting over the first guy again. 2nd guy was like my stupid link to 1st guy.

You have it on good authority? What authority is that then? I pity you having to make so many decisions ...join a website or not join a website?

You may be right, those that hook up as couples on here tend to be looking for a life partner that will continue in the lifestyle as a couple. Of course we wouldn't hear much about those who hook up and both go unlos so perception is skewed. But from what you say the dating sites are worse.

Why not try the evening class route, no need to mention swinging or NSA etc. I hear that the car mechanics course is still a popular one for women on the pull.

Or religion, doesn't matter which one, most of them abhor single status and will do their best to pair you up into neat family units. They play the long game and aim to breed subscribers.

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