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25 ways you know you’re a Swinger!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.
3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.
4. You have over 50,000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.
5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.
6. You have more lingerie than a hooker.
7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.
8. You position the computer screen in such a way your children can’t sneak up on you.
9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.
10. Before traveling somewhere, you look up couples in that area.
11. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon.
12. Your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, and your first thought is”With who?”
13. Your gynecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.
14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.
15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.
16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”
17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.
18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join you for a foursome.
19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.
20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.
21. You hear the word “Playmate” and your first thought is NOT “Playboy”
22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.
23. You remember to bring lube before you remember to bring lipstick.
24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.
25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "
Or you bump into them at least one ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "
Ha ha ha that's great! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your kids haven't had so many sleepovers at their grandparents before but you collect them after 'a restful night off' more knackered than when you dropped them off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your kids haven't had so many sleepovers at their grandparents before but you collect them after 'a restful night off' more knackered than when you dropped them off "
Lol that’s awesome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"These are brilliant!
Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket!   "
oh no! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"These are brilliant!
Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket! "
Lmao
What a tangled web we weave...
I imagine the meet was thinking, not that old chestnut. |
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By *erberaWoman
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
"These are brilliant!
Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket!
Lmao
What a tangled web we weave...
I imagine the meet was thinking, not that old chestnut."
Thankfully we managed to rearrange for the following night lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just wanted to add this .Was out at market today and on a stall was wooden handmade object's .My friend said nice mushroom ornaments but i thought it was butt plug . |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".
And of course my mind automatically added a "W"
That would be more fun  "
It has to be a yes from me
Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".
And of course my mind automatically added a "W"
That would be more fun
It has to be a yes from me
Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp "
Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".
And of course my mind automatically added a "W"
That would be more fun
It has to be a yes from me
Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp
Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping. "
Need to copyright the format before my Cowell gets wind of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".
And of course my mind automatically added a "W"
That would be more fun
It has to be a yes from me
Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp
Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping.
Need to copyright the format before my Cowell gets wind of it "
Lol i will |
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"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "
lmao |
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"
1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.
3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.
4. You have over 50,000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.
5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.
6. You have more lingerie than a hooker.
7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.
8. You position the computer screen in such a way your children can’t sneak up on you.
9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.
10. Before traveling somewhere, you look up couples in that area.
11. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon.
12. Your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, and your first thought is”With who?”
13. Your gynecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.
14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.
15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.
16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”
17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.
18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join you for a foursome.
19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.
20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.
21. You hear the word “Playmate” and your first thought is NOT “Playboy”
22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.
23. You remember to bring lube before you remember to bring lipstick.
24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.
25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party."
OK we'll take the test.
1. Maybe not most but a good number.
2. As above. Not half but enough.
3. Oops. 
4. No but the car can find Cap d'Agde on autopilot. 
5. Yep.
6. Oh certainly.
7. Have we got 4 yes's yet?
8. We have now.
9. Remind me. What is pubic hair?
10. Not couples but we always look for clubs locally.
11. We never swing at home so that is one of the very few no's.
12. It's a big yes from here.
13. Safe sex only and at our age the snip is not an issue.
14. Not got one but would be true if we had.
15. Not added it up but probably yes.
16. No but I've got one that says "I'm not a Gynaecologist but I'll take a look"
17. We did have until she fell off it.
18. Never done that one as she is always commando at parties.
19. Yes in my golfing days that happened a few times.
20. More times than I can remember.
21. Yes LOL.
22. Another yes.
23. I remember the lube and she remembers the lipstick.
24. Tiles and laminate so not an issue.
25. No but the occasional dinner party we go to she usually fucks the host. |
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