"Ok hopefully people can use this post to discuss safety and merits of Clubs v meeting strangers"
Watching with interest.
Socials should be in a public place where there are people about. Speaking from experience, I had a fist raised at me by a man, luckily it was in a public place or god knows what may have happened.
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Ok hopefully people can use this post to discuss safety and merits of Clubs v meeting strangers
Watching with interest.
Socials should be in a public place where there are people about. Speaking from experience, I had a fist raised at me by a man, luckily it was in a public place or god knows what may have happened.
"
Wow  ! What on earth made him that angry? Good job you were not alone in a hotel room or similar! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definatly a public place. You never know who your going to meet. They may seem genuine here but might not be in person.
I was meant to meet a guy last weekend but got delayed on the way due to a road traffic accident. I text him to say I was delayed and sent him a pic of the traffic. He replied with a very abusive message calling me a time waster and all sorts of others things. He was really horrible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One man I met locked me in his home and wouldn't let me leave for nearly half an hour.
It was the 3rd time I had met him, 1st socially and 2nd at his home, so the meeting publically for a social thing first doesn't really mean fuck all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meeting in clubs is safer as people need to be members... it’s always (nearly always) great fun and there’s more likeminded people who will always have your back. Also If your meet turns out to be a ‘not quite compatible’ you still get to meet lovely swingers too...
Same goes for socials to a degree where people get onto guest lists. So a record of who’s who kind of exists.
Meeting one to one is a matter of common sense. If you meet in a public place first... same as any blind meet.
Main thing is to be safe people. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
We will only meet initially at a club, this is partially for safety, partially convenience and partially hedging our bets.
We won't accommodate at our home, going to somebody elses home just doesn't feel right to us and hotel meets are too presumptuous.
Going to a club leaves all concerned able to meet, see how we click, establish a rapport and attractionand go on to play. If the chemistry just isn't there after a social chat over a drink all parties are free to go on and have fun elsewhere. |
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"Ok hopefully people can use this post to discuss safety and merits of Clubs v meeting strangers
Watching with interest.
Socials should be in a public place where there are people about. Speaking from experience, I had a fist raised at me by a man, luckily it was in a public place or god knows what may have happened.
Wow ! What on earth made him that angry? Good job you were not alone in a hotel room or similar!"
Spent 2 hours with him in a public place, I even bought the drinks!!! When we were in the car park I asked him what he thought, bearing in mind we had been chatting on line for ages, his response was he had a date the next evening and if she wasn’t suitable he would contact me! I went mad and shouted I was no one’s second best and that he was a time waster, he didn’t like that honesty so raised his fist at me, I cajoled him saying ‘go on then hit me if you dare’, he then ran off shouting abuse, I think I was called a see you next Tuesday!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men are not really a danger, its predatory women acting in concert with a partners to seduce gullible or vunerable guys into situations were they can be robbed...
Oft its junkie or druggie types that operate in this manner...
Be carefull guys, you are the ones that need to meet in a safe place..
These women take advantage of the fact that you are unlikely to go to the police.... |
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By *eanontiWoman
over a year ago
Limerick |
You can do everything "right" and still have a bad experience. I met a guy off another site, had 3 social meets. 2 at m&g's and a one on one coffee meet. Booked into the hotel, had dinner all really going great. Then we were having a drink after food and his real personality came out. I was nothing but a tramp who should open her legs cause he bought dinner.
Even the guards took an interest, they were just driving by, of an argument between a small me and a huge black guy. I foolishly went back to the hotel to collect my stuff. He wouldn't let me leave. For the best part of an hour he blocked the door so I couldn't leave.
I sat on the dressing table calm on the outside one wrong move from me and I knew what was coming. In the end I'd managed to get my phone out of my bag while getting cigarettes. I dialled the local garda station. And he stepped away from the door.
The taxi driver that drove me home, asked me did I need to go to the gardai. I just said take me home.
He actually told me he was taking me to court for his costs lol.
This was a very respectful guy. Had pics of his work id, drivers license etc. He couldn't do enough to make me feel safe.
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Ok hopefully people can use this post to discuss safety and merits of Clubs v meeting strangers
Watching with interest.
Socials should be in a public place where there are people about. Speaking from experience, I had a fist raised at me by a man, luckily it was in a public place or god knows what may have happened.
Wow ! What on earth made him that angry? Good job you were not alone in a hotel room or similar!"
It was wrapped around his cock  |
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If I was single I would only meet in clubs.
I would never travel in someone elses car or be alone with them in a secluded place.
We warned our kids never to meet strangers from the net alone. I see no reason why that warning should be different for adults. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
A male friend of mine met a lady for drinks in a hotel before going up to the room he had booked, had very average sex, afterwards he went for a shower leaving her reading the room service menu. When he got out of the shower she was gone with his wallet and laptop. Police were called but she wasn't ever caught. |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Men are not really a danger, its predatory women acting in concert with a partners to seduce gullible or vunerable guys into situations were they can be robbed...
Oft its junkie or druggie types that operate in this manner...
Be carefull guys, you are the ones that need to meet in a safe place..
These women take advantage of the fact that you are unlikely to go to the police...."
I dont think any group, men, women or couples, can be seen as a safe bet.
I was followed from a meets home back to mine and my car trashed by another woman who had met him 1st.
You hear horroor stories of men getting nasty and couples having domestics.
Just be sensible and dont be too fast to trust anyone in private company.
This is where clubs can make our activities safer. Not safe. Safer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was single I would only meet in clubs.
I would never travel in someone elses car or be alone with them in a secluded place.
We warned our kids never to meet strangers from the net alone. I see no reason why that warning should be different for adults. "
And yet there are men on here who expect to meet without giving proof of their identity, including picking you up in their car.. |
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Speak live, not just via text, so live responses to your questions can be heard and assessed before agreeing a meet.
Meet in public with CCTV showing the 2 or more of you together.
Let people know you are meeting and checkup.
Record their vehicle details, perhaps texting yourself any information too, to create a public traceable record.
Take some DNA
Your phone will record your location, keep it on.
Have someone come to your place if they are concerned
Stall things if uncertain. Stop things is it's wrong.
Get them to immediately leave you if it's wrong or feeling unsafe.
Don't leave them unsupervised, where you can't see what they are doing.
Don't allow being locked in, if you would be unsure how to get out.
Let them know others are aware of what you are doing.
Always be willing to contact the police
Ensure emergency funds for travel etc are with you.
Don't carry high value stuff
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"If I was single I would only meet in clubs.
I would never travel in someone elses car or be alone with them in a secluded place.
We warned our kids never to meet strangers from the net alone. I see no reason why that warning should be different for adults.
And yet there are men on here who expect to meet without giving proof of their identity, including picking you up in their car.."
People expect all sorts, they don't aways get it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A male friend of mine met a lady for drinks in a hotel before going up to the room he had booked, had very average sex, afterwards he went for a shower leaving her reading the room service menu. When he got out of the shower she was gone with his wallet and laptop. Police were called but she wasn't ever caught."
That's just stupidity!! |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I have only had one really dodgy meet where I was threatened on arrival and was lucky not to be seriously assaulted.
Now, I get full details of destination before I leave plus car reg in advance or when it's on the drive on arrival. All noted into my phone and in my Diary! |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"A male friend of mine met a lady for drinks in a hotel before going up to the room he had booked, had very average sex, afterwards he went for a shower leaving her reading the room service menu. When he got out of the shower she was gone with his wallet and laptop. Police were called but she wasn't ever caught.
That's just stupidity!!"
Why? They were getting on great, the plan was for her to spend the night there with him. Should he have taken his wallet and laptop into the shower with him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was single I would only meet in clubs.
I would never travel in someone elses car or be alone with them in a secluded place.
We warned our kids never to meet strangers from the net alone. I see no reason why that warning should be different for adults.
And yet there are men on here who expect to meet without giving proof of their identity, including picking you up in their car..
People expect all sorts, they don't aways get it. "
It appears these guys do...on the basis of the veris they show. |
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"If I was single I would only meet in clubs.
I would never travel in someone elses car or be alone with them in a secluded place.
We warned our kids never to meet strangers from the net alone. I see no reason why that warning should be different for adults.
And yet there are men on here who expect to meet without giving proof of their identity, including picking you up in their car..
People expect all sorts, they don't aways get it.
It appears these guys do...on the basis of the veris they show."
Yeah. I shudder at the risks some people take |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
I only meet in clubs too. I’ve been lucky in that I have an amazing regular play-partner who I met in a club, he is be only person who visits me at home. Other than that I’m only willing to meet others in a club.
It’s a lot safer.. I’m a regular at jaydees and everyone there, the staff and the other regulars, really look out for everyone, any problems are delt with quickly and the owners are not afraid to remove problem makers from the club.... fortunately this is a very rare occurrence as most guys that attend are polite and respectful.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speak live, not just via text, so live responses to your questions can be heard and assessed before agreeing a meet.
Meet in public with CCTV showing the 2 or more of you together.
Let people know you are meeting and checkup.
Record their vehicle details, perhaps texting yourself any information too, to create a public traceable record.
Take some DNA
Your phone will record your location, keep it on.
Have someone come to your place if they are concerned
Stall things if uncertain. Stop things is it's wrong.
Get them to immediately leave you if it's wrong or feeling unsafe.
Don't leave them unsupervised, where you can't see what they are doing.
Don't allow being locked in, if you would be unsure how to get out.
Let them know others are aware of what you are doing.
Always be willing to contact the police
Ensure emergency funds for travel etc are with you.
Don't carry high value stuff
"
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By *ackardMan
over a year ago
North West & beyond |
My advice for what it's worth....
Take as little valuables as you can. If you're travelling to a meet in a vehicle then find a little "hidey hole" where you can stash your valuables rather than the obvious places where a thief would look. Your only real issue then is keeping your vehicle keys safe.
Although I've never had any personal experience of theft I do know of someone who had a valuable item stolen at a group meet, someone obviously spied their chance pocketed the item then slipped off. As has been said, these scum find us easy pickings as they think we won't report the theft to the police due to embarassment, etc....
Also make sure as best you can that you can easily leave a meet when you feel it's time to go. Don't allow yourself to get in a position where you can be unitentionally or intentionally locked in someones house/flat (it's happened to me but it was purely unitentional & is a long story).
Something I'd never thought of until just now is that if you are going to someone's house and your not in a position where you can let somebody know where you are then the next best thing would be to email yourself with a photo of the property and details of the property. That way if (god forbid) anything untoward did happen to you you have left a big clueas to were you where going for the authorites to find.
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