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ladies who orgasm white goo
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x |
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It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"
I actually spit my drink everywhere  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they need a visit to their GP. I think it’s know as grool in the porn world. (VOM) |
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
"
Actually squirt it? I've seen some women (me included on occasion) produce a creamy/white substance while fucking but never squirt it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear."
What, like caustic soda  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"
so you're on the fanny cream too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it any good for coffee? |
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Princess Peach - Fanjo, love it. Not heard that one before |
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
"
We shove a little milk carton up our chuff |
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear."
Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there? |
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.
Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there? "
Oooooo, rice pudding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"
My tea is on the floor as a result of this unique read  |
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.
Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there?
Oooooo, rice pudding "
Creamy custard. I want someone to eat custard from me |
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It’s probably ‘cock snot up the chuff pipe ‘ being spurted out ...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.
Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there? "
Jesus man pass me a bucket  |
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"Slowly pushes dinner plate to the side" not so hungry anymore she says |
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I believe it is medically know as
'I can't believe it's not batter'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel even iller now. Yuk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The comments here have made my day. So funny |
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"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.
What, like caustic soda "
Rinse thoroughly with water if it comes into contact with the eyes. |
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I've dropped my phone, porridge is everywhere... but I'm laughing so much as thread is so funny.x |
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Did you notice any feathers?
Could been a thrush. |
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Fuck a duck, laughing so hard that the whole office is staring... |
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By *illianMan
over a year ago
Haywards Heath |
Any foil? Cream egg inners? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best thread ever. Sides are hurting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh my face is disgusted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you eat Yours?  |
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Frikken hilarious!!!! Saddened that I have nothing to add... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
Actually squirt it? I've seen some women (me included on occasion) produce a creamy/white substance while fucking but never squirt it out. "
Not quite like Nestle Tip Top but close.
Try holding your breath when you pop and see if it flings out  |
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Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?
Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks like white grease, good for lubrication and water proof too  |
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"Oooooo, rice pudding "
No, it was capable of independent motion and attempted to get back inside. |
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"Did you notice any feathers?
Could been a thrush. "
Just laughed so hard I scared my dog  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about carnation milk? |
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Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. |
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"I believe it is medically know as
'I can't believe it's not batter'. "
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"Did you notice any feathers?
Could been a thrush.
Just laughed so hard I scared my dog "
*takes a bow*
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The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..
Suddenly came to mind.. |
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Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis
Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush
Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis
With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea
With blisters or sores genital herpes
Frothy...Oh my.
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Its rectoplasm came from her ass really Who you gonna call "ghost busters" |
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"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis
Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush
Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis
With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea
With blisters or sores genital herpes
Frothy...Oh my.
"
STOP! Please! Reading this is like chewing tinfoil |
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I watched an episode of 1000 ways to die, the woman died from fucking herself with an unwashed carrot. Got a little scratch inside that got infected.
The episode was called "kildo"
(Like dildo)
I wonder if her gasm-goo was orange. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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another one who spat my coffee out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a very nice thread this really is it ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought it was ladies turned on juice?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle. |
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"I thought it was ladies turned on juice?
"
Very probably, however if it is too whiffy to sniffy, he needs to take his cock to the doc. |
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle. "
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang."
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe it's not butter.
It's called cervical mucus. |
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"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "
This, most likely
I have to pop outside for a minute, I need to throw up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you make pancakes with it?  |
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation."
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should be room in my shag bag for some rubber gloves, safety glasses, swabs and specimen jars.
Next time I come across it I'll take a sample and get them analysed. It might kill the moment though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
Oh dear, that made me laugh |
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By *morousMan
over a year ago
Somewhere near you |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Oh dear, that made me laugh "
I laughed too. He was a complete cunt  |
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By *morousMan
over a year ago
Somewhere near you |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too? |
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too? "
Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin. |
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"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "
Ohhhhhhhhhh  |
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"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis
Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush
Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis
With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea
With blisters or sores genital herpes
Frothy...Oh my.
STOP! Please! Reading this is like chewing tinfoil"
|
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"Anyone for a cream cake?"
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too. |
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"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "
Ohhhhhhhhhh |
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"Anyone for a cream cake?
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too."
Jam and cream split |
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"Anyone for a cream cake?
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.
Jam and cream split "
Get my tongue right up there |
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"Anyone for a cream cake?
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.
Jam and cream split
Get my tongue right up there"
What if it's curdled? |
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By *morousMan
over a year ago
Somewhere near you |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too?
Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin. "
What the plug, the sock or the ex??? |
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I saw something similar... I was about to go down on a women and always do the light finger test first and it was like cream from a milk bottle top... I at that moment was in shock!!! She messaged me the neXT day and said why didn't you go down on me.. something seemed to have put you off.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is so enlightening I thought women’s orgasms were just some fakery for porn movies and shit. I’ve never met a woman who could, never mind squirting goo |
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"Anyone for a cream cake?
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.
Jam and cream split
Get my tongue right up there
What if it's curdled? "
Then... I shall not get my tongue right up there. I'm not a dairy fan at the best of times. |
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"Anyone for a cream cake?
I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.
Jam and cream split
Get my tongue right up there
What if it's curdled?
Then... I shall not get my tongue right up there. I'm not a dairy fan at the best of times. "
Sloppy scrambled egg |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange |
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"This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange "
I want a cutie pie cunt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance |
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By *morousMan
over a year ago
Somewhere near you |
"I saw something similar... I was about to go down on a women and always do the light finger test first and it was like cream from a milk bottle top... I at that moment was in shock!!! She messaged me the neXT day and said why didn't you go down on me.. something seemed to have put you off.. "
Never heard of that before Dean - light finger test..... I’ve heard of the scratch and sniff or the linger finger tests. I’ll have to give it a go!
Did you tell her she had a fandango like a Devon dairy??? Full of clotted cream!!! |
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"This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange "
You gotta admit it's been fun tho. |
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This has to be one of the best threads ever. I've got tears rolling down my face |
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"I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance"
How much usuage equates to a clapped out coochie? |
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I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?
Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance
How much usuage equates to a clapped out coochie? "
I'd say when Balfour Beatty send three vans around with the clean up crew its on its last knockings.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I felt sick reading this but I just couldn't turn away. Hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis
Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush
Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis
With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea
With blisters or sores genital herpes
Frothy...Oh my.
"
Frothy... it's a latte |
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
"The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..
Suddenly came to mind.. "
That’d be Cresta |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha op...some thick and white, some squirting and clear
Either way it's good, but hey, I'm only here to film these days, |
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
Queasy isn’t the word... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve got to say.... I think I know her |
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******CURRENTLY BEST THREAD OF 2018******
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too?
Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin.
What the plug, the sock or the ex??? "
I've just got concerned. I may get a ban for airing dirty laundry
That sock was pretty gross. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It all makes sense now ...
Cream Pie isn't man made
It's straight outta the lady garden |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream . |
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I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy |
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I already had sore ribs... Now they're agony
Funniest thing I've read in ages |
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"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy"
Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on
It tho |
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"The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..
Suddenly came to mind..
That’d be Cresta"
that's it..
i may be odd but parts of the thread whilst funny are also somewhat mm mm.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is one of the funniest threads I have come across lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*throws in a grenade*
It can also be a symptom of HIV |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's probably just the time of month or a little attack of BV or thrush.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just made some scones... |
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Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.
If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.
Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.
My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.
I hope that is some help to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every day is a schoolday...some better than others.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Velcrosis... that’s brilliant
I wouldn’t want that sorting... Velcro is almost as fun as bubble wrap. Is there a condition like bubble wrap?? |
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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy"
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
bork haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?
Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away"
You scramble eggs in your fanny? I'm impressed.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kinda puts you of fannys don't it |
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"I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?
Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away
You scramble eggs in your fanny? I'm impressed. "
Omelette? |
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"Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream . "
I wouldn't mind giving it a go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream .
I wouldn't mind giving it a go "
Not keen on the idea of clotted cream but quite like the sound Creme ‘fresh’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white! |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white! "
Like a merengue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh god you lot make me laugh - white or clear discharge is normal -- when its whiffy or lumpy or yellow or green then you need to run for the hills - producing enough to squirt white isnt the norm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white!
Like a merengue? "
Nah like you just cracked an egg open, the clear jelly.. Cervical mucus.. Clear snotty slug! |
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"*throws in a grenade*
It can also be a symptom of HIV "
Could be bad aids |
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"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.
If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.
Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.
My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.
I hope that is some help to you. "
Can I take my mate up the local jet wash |
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Was it Mary Berry? Did she have soft peaks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.
If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.
Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.
My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.
I hope that is some help to you.
Can I take my mate up the local jet wash"
Isn't that what caused the problem in the first place? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.
If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.
Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.
My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.
I hope that is some help to you.
Can I take my mate up the local jet wash
Isn't that what caused the problem in the first place?"
Those dirty fuckers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From what I've read some women have vagina grool, due to their cycle. It becomes pretty much white at some point and is more clear at other points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle. "
This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.
They're interesting wee creatures fannies.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy
Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on
It tho "
And the chopped nuts lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy
Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on
It tho
And the chopped nuts lol"
Ooooo yeah, can’t beat the nuts - although chopped sounds painful |
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I’m sure something similar has been in a sci-fi movie or tv show . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.
They're interesting wee creatures fannies...."
so thats where the haggis hid itself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.
They're interesting wee creatures fannies....
so thats where the haggis hid itself"
You are so overdue a kick in the stones. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.
They're interesting wee creatures fannies....
so thats where the haggis hid itself
You are so overdue a kick in the stones."
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From what I've read some women have vagina grool, due to their cycle. It becomes pretty much white at some point and is more clear at other points. "
Well done, that is correct. It’s pretty normal |
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Look it's simple.
The last bloke she shagged used to be the Milky Bar Kid back in the 70's. Now the Milky Bar froth is on you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or playing with as Stewie Griffin calls it 'Cool hwhip'. This thread is like a Train crash, fucking awful but you can't look away. |
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Oh no, it’s still going...
And I looked again.......
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Best thread ever. I salute u pal |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.
If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.
Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.
My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.
I hope that is some help to you. "
u win X I'm cracked up |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've dropped my phone, porridge is everywhere... but I'm laughing so much as thread is so funny.x"
The irony, this thread is about lady porridge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You remember when Cadbury's changed the recipe for the Creme Egg... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I just re-read all this.
One of my fave threads ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just read all of this.... bravo to youvall |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white! "
That's the one! It's no yolk ya know. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago
Wiltshire and London |
WTF.
There are some great turns of phrase here.
I love "self-cleaning" gear. It conjures up visions of a Wallace & Gromit style fanny gadget. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is fucking hilarious! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It could possibly be the plug.
Or an infection.
Or fanny snot
It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.
Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there?
Oooooo, rice pudding
Creamy custard. I want someone to eat custard from me"
I can see hands shooting up and cries of me!me!me! Miss! Me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plink Plink Fizz Fizz Oh What A Relief It Is |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.
Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white!
That's the one! It's no yolk ya know."
Pmsl!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What like wall paper paste? Not been unlucky enough to experience that - thank god! |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"WTF.
There are some great turns of phrase here.
I love "self-cleaning" gear. It conjures up visions of a Wallace & Gromit style fanny gadget."
I can envisage it unfortunately |
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"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?
Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course..."
I was otherwise engaged.
If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.
It's also found in sharks.
Doctor Delerium
PS I hate golf. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?
Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course...
I was otherwise engaged.
If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.
It's also found in sharks.
Doctor Delerium
PS I hate golf."
Yaaaaay, thread resurrected. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
**chortles** I knew Princess would be excited |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This shit needs to be put in a script. Fuckin hilarious |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Thread of the year 2018 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
"
Niiiiiiiice |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"The comments here have made my day. So funny "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got some great line cleaner which should do the job if cleaning it out |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?
Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course...
I was otherwise engaged.
If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.
It's also found in sharks.
Doctor Delerium
PS I hate golf."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be a good boy and lap that shit up... after all you want her to gobble up your baby batter or have it sprayed all over her back... but good on you for making her splirt that shit out, high five...
It's all protein after all...!
Yummy yum yum |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Just be a good boy and lap that shit up... after all you want her to gobble up your baby batter or have it sprayed all over her back... but good on you for making her splirt that shit out, high five...
It's all protein after all...!
Yummy yum yum "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fanny cream, everyone. Fanny cream *applauds* |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"White goo and baby batter "
Are words you will never hear on Bake Off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hahaha. Just read all that. Bloody hilarious |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?
I can only describe it as fanny cream
"
oh I love that had some vids a woman sent me on my old phone that have gone to cyber heaven now |
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Get at it wih yer popadom just like at the indan restaurant. If you're feeling fancy have some mango chutney with it too. |
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
Remember the story of how the spider bit Peter Parker ?
Well one day this girl stood on a slug........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is this girl still alive even? Lol.
I swear I've not laughed so hard in ages at the beginning few posts of this thread.
I mean was she human or alien. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve heard of people foaming at the mouth but never foaming from the fanny . Fanny Foam . |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.
Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.
I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.
I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.
I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.
Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "
Brings a new meaning to cumsock
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
