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the pub and the rabbit
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"Hope you didn't actually type all that out yourself "Erm....  | |||
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"****ing Hell - I love a crap joke, but that is just a pile of rubbish. Mixing-me-toasted - Mixamatosis. Nah, not close enough in the way they sound. My Monday is ruined - go away and have a think about what you’ve done." Mixing-mi-toasties mixamatosis....come on that close | |||
oldie but goodie | |||
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I liked it Op. It made me chuckle  | |||
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"Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!! Personally, I think it's bollocks!!" Ha, like that. | |||
"I liked that. It's very relevant to me "But you drowned yours. | |||
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"A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread!!!!!!." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a fucking bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any bread?" That's one ofy favourites | |||
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"A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread!!!!!!." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a fucking bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any bread? That's one ofy favourites" Lmao | |||
" A rabbit walks into a pub and asks; " Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? " The publican is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The publican, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please’ The crowd is hushed as the rabbit is given his pint and toastie, then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Buses have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The publican is making more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please’ The publican says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, but we are right out of those Ham and Cheese Toasties...' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the publican clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.' The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.. The publican, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit guzzles the beer and scoffs the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the publican, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.. The barman says, 'Who are you?', to which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The publican says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'The rabbit says, 'Yes I know..' The publican said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it. The publican said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. ‘OH NO, what from’ said the publican. After a short pause, the rabbit said... “I died from Mixin-Me-Toasties”" Oh my sides ache... | |||
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"****ing Hell - I love a crap joke, but that is just a pile of rubbish. Mixing-me-toasted - Mixamatosis. Nah, not close enough in the way they sound. My Monday is ruined - go away and have a think about what you’ve done." I’m glad I stopped reading halfway down now | |||
"A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread!!!!!!." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a fucking bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any bread?" Please tell me you’ve heard of the duck song! | |||
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" A rabbit walks into a pub and asks; " Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? " The publican is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The publican, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please’ The crowd is hushed as the rabbit is given his pint and toastie, then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Buses have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The publican is making more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please’ The publican says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, but we are right out of those Ham and Cheese Toasties...' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the publican clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.' The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.. The publican, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit guzzles the beer and scoffs the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the publican, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.. The barman says, 'Who are you?', to which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The publican says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'The rabbit says, 'Yes I know..' The publican said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it. The publican said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. ‘OH NO, what from’ said the publican. After a short pause, the rabbit said... “I died from Mixin-Me-Toasties” " Arrrrr ok
I don't get the joke but I'm shor sumone will.
Nice story op | |||
