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When feedback goes against you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning all,
I'm still quite new here so apologies if this thread topic has been done before.
Now I know what this site is for and I'm not overly keen on the verification bit and this is why.
Whilst I'm here to meet people and have fun, I have standards, they don't drop because it's "just sex" and if anything they may be a little higher than normal. My issue is this, someone I've been talking too has had ALOT of meets, not a problem I think, proves they are genuine etc but if I dig a little further, look at other profiles it seems this person has no standards what so ever and almost has the "any hole is a goal" opinion.
If I'm honest this has really put me off meeting with him, I'm not here looking for a relationship, I just want NSA fun, so I know what that means but I keep my standards.
Maybe I am going on about nothing but thought I'd put it out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think some people like sex with whoever and some like to have something chemistry there and some dont care
u do what u want x +1  "
how did u read that im still half asleep LOL |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"somepeople will meet anyone for sex with bareback of safesex as they are getting it
as in some are looking for a connection x"
Oh I see 100% what you are saying. I'm in the "safe and connection" pot. Rather than just doing any random because they've offered it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should only meet on your rules, not whether others do things differently!
If his background is bothering you now, it will bother you even more if you meet!!
Just stick to what feels right to you, dont worry if it meets other peoples rules or expectations.
Go with your gut instinct, it will generally be looking out for you!
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"somepeople will meet anyone for sex with bareback of safesex as they are getting it
as in some are looking for a connection x
Oh I see 100% what you are saying. I'm in the "safe and connection" pot. Rather than just doing any random because they've offered it."
im the same
i prefer the odd meet with the connection chemistry and banter rather than sex which could be shit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do understand what you mean. I decide to meet people based on their messages to me not what others have said about them as they're strangers too and mean nothing to me.
However, paradoxically, if they have a lot of verifications, you can't help but have a nosey. I've discovered many a "straight sub" described as "very dominant with a sweet tasting cock".  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should only meet on your rules, not whether others do things differently!
If his background is bothering you now, it will bother you even more if you meet!!
Just stick to what feels right to you, dont worry if it meets other peoples rules or expectations.
Go with your gut instinct, it will generally be looking out for you!
x"
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do understand what you mean. I decide to meet people based on their messages to me not what others have said about them as they're strangers too and mean nothing to me.
However, paradoxically, if they have a lot of verifications, you can't help but have a nosey. I've discovered many a "straight sub" described as "very dominant with a sweet tasting cock". "
the last one i read said he was this and that and he WASNT either so i know verifications mean fuck all |
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Whilst I agree that there are some that will fuck anything cos the are horny there are also others who can find a connection with anyone and so don't appear to have a 'type'. Thus may reflect in their verification messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am never impressed if you can read other people's verifications - especially if there are stacks listed. The verifications don't have to be there. They should be kept private. How many times do you get to hear about your friends' or work colleagues' sex lives and sometimes in great detail? It should be kept private. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Standards yes, see your point. But how many people have others slept with and it's not verified or it's outside of fab and you'd never know. At least if there are a lot of verifications you could maybe assume he's upfront about things! Difficult one, just adding my slant on it, good luck x  |
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"I am never impressed if you can read other people's verifications - especially if there are stacks listed. The verifications don't have to be there. They should be kept private. How many times do you get to hear about your friends' or work colleagues' sex lives and sometimes in great detail? It should be kept private."
in you opinion, think you will find people will use this site as they see fit
you keep yours private but i like verifications, maybe cos i am nosey |
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i always find these i have standards others dont threads amusing on a swinging site
i can be the worlds fussiest bitch,i can also be a total cock slut pushed to nearly fainting from the number of men and orgasms(one memorable time at chams i ended up weeping from sexual ecstasy(thankfully my friends were there to fend off the guys till i cud walk)
i am here to explore and use the site in the way i see fit.You are free to do the same,just don't judge others on who they meet,how many or how often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a thought, i appreciate any couple, woman or guy displaying veri's, i take it as an honest account of what they do, who they obviously like and have met, im quite sure the secret squirrels with their hidden multi veri's can fall into the "met too many" category too,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
Met people with loads, nicest folks you ever could meet, never detected a single note of bragging or any form of desperation, i have dealt with some with next to none showing all the signs of envy and desperation though. |
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
Met people with loads, nicest folks you ever could meet, never detected a single note of bragging or any form of desperation, i have dealt with some with next to none showing all the signs of envy and desperation though."
Same as that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
Met people with loads, nicest folks you ever could meet, never detected a single note of bragging or any form of desperation, i have dealt with some with next to none showing all the signs of envy and desperation though."
+ 1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously verifications mean different things to different people. I avoid those with the world and his wife listed, prefer to make my own mind up lol!!! |
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
yep - thats me all over |
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
I've got 11 verifications on my profile does that mean I'm desperate and bragging?? No. Why? Because 7 of those are from people who I have met on various occasions at social gatherings over the last 7 yrs and have not fucked.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I said, it means different things to different people. Would you go to work or go see your neighbour and talk openly about your recent conquests? Anyway, mine are kept private, because they are private!!! |
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By *ee-deeWoman
over a year ago
The Kingdom |
"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
PMSL...ffs...not desperate here btw!!....and not trying to prove any popularity...I am who I am...love me or hate me...nothing to hide...and each to their own eh....I would never meet unless I see folks veris...a safety net for me I guess....so I know folks are genuine and can be trusted. To me veris are there to show you are genuine...one green tick proves nothing!!!! |
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What everyone needs proving is subjective.
Some want a blow by blow account of every act or form of sex that took place.
For me a verification should simply be to say that the person exists in the form they say they do, i.e. couple, lanchashire, slim, vwe, etc etc .... perhaps whether they were reliable / relaxed.
I'm with the O.P and Sassy to a point.
I make my own mind up about people. If I want to meet an unverified person then I will.
Why Why Why would anyone take someone elses word for the character and sexual ability of another?
You wouldn't let a stranger pick your dress, your food or even your fucking nose! So why do you rely on them picking your sexual partners ?
I agree with the O.P. IF this is what they mean ..... It's not the NUMBER of meets it's the apparent quality of the people met. O.P Am I right?
I don't judge or moralise or question someone's choice of people to meet BUT ..... YES ...... I HAVE got a message and thought ...hmmmmm he seems okay THEN i've looked at veri's and thought ..... Oh God Nooooooo the people he meets are gross! and it does put me off. OR I think ....shit look at how they talk about each other with the most unecessary detail hung out for people to read - some of it puke inducing. ORRRRRRRRR I think ......jesus he's met 'her' is there NO ONE on this site 'she' hasn't met. Yada Yada Yada...... Yep it can stop me in my tracks and think if you are comfortable with people like those then you are not who I think you are.
Sometimes it's easier just NOT to see the verifications.
What you don't know etc..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The last poster is right, it's not about the number of people he's met, it's the clear lack of quality(in my opinion)
People are free to meet who they want and do what they want. I'd rather not know to be honest. Yes it's great the guy is genuine but I just can't get my head round the fact that some peole have the "sex is sex, doesn't matter who it's with" attitude.
I don't want a life partner but for me connecting with someone in a sexual/mental and psychical way is far more important to be than just having sex because it's there.
If that were the case I could have easily slept with 100+ men on here.
I am picky, I am fussy but I can afford to be. I wouldn't go into town and go off with someone who I wasn't attracted to just because it's sex and I certainly won't here.
If that means it'll be a while before my first meet then that's fine. I'd rather have quality over quantity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What everyone needs proving is subjective.
Some want a blow by blow account of every act or form of sex that took place.
For me a verification should simply be to say that the person exists in the form they say they do, i.e. couple, lanchashire, slim, vwe, etc etc .... perhaps whether they were reliable / relaxed.
I'm with the O.P and Sassy to a point.
I make my own mind up about people. If I want to meet an unverified person then I will.
Why Why Why would anyone take someone elses word for the character and sexual ability of another?
You wouldn't let a stranger pick your dress, your food or even your fucking nose! So why do you rely on them picking your sexual partners ?
I agree with the O.P. IF this is what they mean ..... It's not the NUMBER of meets it's the apparent quality of the people met. O.P Am I right?
I don't judge or moralise or question someone's choice of people to meet BUT ..... YES ...... I HAVE got a message and thought ...hmmmmm he seems okay THEN i've looked at veri's and thought ..... Oh God Nooooooo the people he meets are gross! and it does put me off. OR I think ....shit look at how they talk about each other with the most unecessary detail hung out for people to read - some of it puke inducing. ORRRRRRRRR I think ......jesus he's met 'her' is there NO ONE on this site 'she' hasn't met. Yada Yada Yada...... Yep it can stop me in my tracks and think if you are comfortable with people like those then you are not who I think you are.
Sometimes it's easier just NOT to see the verifications.
What you don't know etc..... "
Ok, so it starts as being "subjective" then you proceed to tell us of "Quality of the people" and if met X Y Z persons they suddenly are of no interest? Confused |
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" .... People are free to meet who they want and do what they want. I'd rather not know to be honest. Yes it's great the guy is genuine but I just can't get my head round the fact that some peole have the "sex is sex, doesn't matter who it's with" attitude.
..."
Has he told you he has this attitude?
Has he said "hey I fuck anything with a pulse"?
Have you ever thought he just 'connects' with more people than you?
Have you ever thought he prefers personality over looks when he makes 'connections'?
Looks and being attractive is all subjective.... may be they don't look much (in your opinion) but he sees something in these people you don't.... may be a fun carefree attitude. |
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"The last poster is right, it's not about the number of people he's met, it's the clear lack of quality(in my opinion)
"
this is a key quote - its not for you to question the quality of HIS meets!!!
he obviously thought they were good enough to fuck and thats his perogative, or does he have to check with you to make sure you approve next time??  |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
"Morning all,
I'm still quite new here so apologies if this thread topic has been done before.
Now I know what this site is for and I'm not overly keen on the verification bit and this is why.
Whilst I'm here to meet people and have fun, I have standards, they don't drop because it's "just sex" and if anything they may be a little higher than normal. My issue is this, someone I've been talking too has had ALOT of meets, not a problem I think, proves they are genuine etc but if I dig a little further, look at other profiles it seems this person has no standards what so ever and almost has the "any hole is a goal" opinion.
If I'm honest this has really put me off meeting with him, I'm not here looking for a relationship, I just want NSA fun, so I know what that means but I keep my standards.
Maybe I am going on about nothing but thought I'd put it out there."
Maybe it's not that way of thinking at all, it could be more of a case of them not being very successful and just wanting to get back out there, and try to build up some confidence.. I know alot of men tend to think like that, that they couldn't get a classy girl without spending time with a lesser person first (for experience and for confidence)
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not done a count up, but they are from 2008, i think folks glance them, tell themselves this "offtt met too many" and choose to ignore the small detail of them being over a period of almost 4 years, quite often from those who no doubt tell us to "Read the Profile Fully", marvelous,lol |
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Some people won't go near doggers as they assume they have the least standards of all... they somehow come to the conclusion that doggers will fuck anything in a car park... first come first served.
People jump to lots of conclusions.
The real truth is... if something puts you off of someone, unless it is health related, it really is your problem not theirs.
There are lots of things which work for me and lots of things which don't... the things which don't are my problem, no one else's. Just as if someone judges me for the things which do work for me... it's their problem not mine. |
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" yes has put me off when a guy messaged along the lines of they had had 28 women did i wanna be 29 ...
What? You weren't interested???? "
I'd be put off... I only like even numbers. 30 sounds appealling though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But then you get the people who hide all their verifications save for a few recent ones. Which is everyones choice to do so.
Perhaps there should be a total number of verifications... ir
'has been a member on Fab 4 years, met 10 people socially and 4 people for fun'
for example?.... then people can still leave veris they way they do too, and these can remain hidden still if they wish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
PMSL...ffs...not desperate here btw!!....and not trying to prove any popularity...I am who I am...love me or hate me...nothing to hide...and each to their own eh....I would never meet unless I see folks veris...a safety net for me I guess....so I know folks are genuine and can be trusted. To me veris are there to show you are genuine...one green tick proves nothing!!!!"
Personally I would never take the word of a total stranger that another total stranger can be trusted and is genuine. This would be very foolish in my opinion! |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
"I love you. Really.
Tell me what a 'Classy Bird' is. Then describe in full a 'lesser person' ....... I can't wait "
LOL
yeah that was a bad choice of words x
I guess i just meant to say in terms of what your on about... meeting anyone regardless of getting on or anything as long as it's sex
But yeah, it's very early morning, i was sat here all day yesturday and i've woke up with a bit of a headache! So i appologize for that, was a weird thing to say to be honest
xx |
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"But then you get the people who hide all their verifications save for a few recent ones. Which is everyones choice to do so.
Perhaps there should be a total number of verifications... ir
'has been a member on Fab 4 years, met 10 people socially and 4 people for fun'
for example?.... then people can still leave veris they way they do too, and these can remain hidden still if they wish."
Why do you have any right to know how many verifications someone else has?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" yes has put me off when a guy messaged along the lines of they had had 28 women did i wanna be 29 ...
What? You weren't interested????
I'd be put off... I only like even numbers. 30 sounds appealling though.
"
I prefer to be the odd one tbh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love you. Really.
Tell me what a 'Classy Bird' is. Then describe in full a 'lesser person' ....... I can't wait "
Oh I'm hanging on with baited breath too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But then you get the people who hide all their verifications save for a few recent ones. Which is everyones choice to do so.
Perhaps there should be a total number of verifications... ir
'has been a member on Fab 4 years, met 10 people socially and 4 people for fun'
for example?.... then people can still leave veris they way they do too, and these can remain hidden still if they wish.
Why do you have any right to know how many verifications someone else has?
"
wasnt stating as a right, was making an example. Some people have met numerous people yet do not wish any verifications, is the other side of the coin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But then you get the people who hide all their verifications save for a few recent ones. Which is everyones choice to do so.
Perhaps there should be a total number of verifications... ir
'has been a member on Fab 4 years, met 10 people socially and 4 people for fun'
for example?.... then people can still leave veris they way they do too, and these can remain hidden still if they wish."
Yup, i juggle veri's about on profile quite often, sometimes hide the lot, sometimes hide the whole profile,we all can do and create whatever info is available any old way we choose. |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
"I love you. Really.
Tell me what a 'Classy Bird' is. Then describe in full a 'lesser person' ....... I can't wait
Oh I'm hanging on with baited breath too! "
LOL i already replied above you... What a morning i am having 
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My anti-timewaster yard stick is this combo, "on a year,no green tick and no verifications", if its wrong, cool, if there are folks so kean to be un-verified thats cool,im sure theres reasons for etc, but for me it reads ohhh whats the word? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
I have lots of veris lol.....I am not bragging but also not hiding. Most of mine are social ones and I see no harm in that.......I also have lots of mates in the "real" world so go figure!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a swinging site full of people with varied tastes and interests
I read the verifications basically to find out what the person likes and not what the person is like
I never met cold if a site anyway (except the once and look where that got me )
Prefering to meet the actual person at socials , house parties etc
And making my mind up about them then
I may well have looked at their profile and mailed them about the social or party and said see ya there even flirted lol
Read to much into some verifications and you can end up missing out on some fantastic genuine and honest people ( at least they are willing to say to the world this is me take me or leave me)
I'm actually a little more causious myself of the ones that hide them
For instance if you met a vanilla in a normal night club and went fa a quick one night stand after
Or even fa the ones that don't do one night stands ya went on a few dates before ya shagged
Would you be 100%sure of their sexual history?
To sum it up if you like the person just do it
After all it's swinging ya don't want ta marry the buggers do ya? (and yes I know there is an exception to every rule before someone picks me up on that)
But basically it's just a good time with someone you are attracted too for what's normally a few short hours
Don't read too much inta stuff or you may well miss out
Craig xxx |
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"I love you. Really.
Tell me what a 'Classy Bird' is. Then describe in full a 'lesser person' ....... I can't wait
LOL
yeah that was a bad choice of words x
I guess i just meant to say in terms of what your on about... meeting anyone regardless of getting on or anything as long as it's sex
But yeah, it's very early morning, i was sat here all day yesturday and i've woke up with a bit of a headache! So i appologize for that, was a weird thing to say to be honest
I really DO love you now.
Love Classy Bird.
Have fun with the lessers. xxx
( pssst not lezzers that would be too much fun to bear )
xx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
I have lots of veris lol.....I am not bragging but also not hiding. Most of mine are social ones and I see no harm in that.......I also have lots of mates in the "real" world so go figure!! "
Ehh your fun swingers who meet folk, fun wise and socially and you have friends outside of swinging too, have i figured? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
I have lots of veris lol.....I am not bragging but also not hiding. Most of mine are social ones and I see no harm in that.......I also have lots of mates in the "real" world so go figure!! "
Yep, we are the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get those who wanna be discete but I also get those who don't really give a fook who knows what.
I read veris....Never read to far into them and if a guy or women wants to fuck as many people possible then who really gives a toss.
From a womens point of _iew if that annoys you then move on to the next guy with no veris lol.....God knows there are enough of them!!
It always makes me laugh when people on a swingers site seem so judgemental about sex!! xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought, i appreciate any couple, woman or guy displaying veri's, i take it as an honest account of what they do, who they obviously like and have met, im quite sure the secret squirrels with their hidden multi veri's can fall into the "met too many" category too,,"
**Nods** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!
I have lots of veris lol.....I am not bragging but also not hiding. Most of mine are social ones and I see no harm in that.......I also have lots of mates in the "real" world so go figure!!
Ehh your fun swingers who meet folk, fun wise and socially and you have friends outside of swinging too, have i figured? lol "
Oops not me sorry.....I'm a single bi female therefore I am not even real!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The verification system is all subjective.
I have veris left by people I've met at socials and didn't play with. Sometimes its obvious it was a social. But I've also got a few veris from guys that I haven't played with but the veri is written in such a way as to insinuate that I have ie, had fun in jacuzzi, lovely girl, great body. had fun in jacuzzi, well that means we had a laugh and joke together - verbal fun, not sexual, great body, yeah I was naked. Now that guy could be deemed as unnattractive or barebacking all over the country, I could therefore be judged also because of this. I have veris from guys I've met at parties saying things like mmmm can't wait to see her again - did I play with them, no, does it read as if I did - yes.
I have a mixture of various types of veris from social to explicit. I display what I do because I feel people have taken the time to write it, so I display it, and also because it amuses me to think what _iew others will have when reading it.
As for the desperate bit, no I'm not and yes I could pull in the real world. I'm not the most beautiful but neither am I ugly and I get enough attention, albeit unwanted, in the real world, and I get more than I can cope with in the swinging world. There are lots of very attractive ladies on this site, because they have lots of veris doesn't make them desperate, it shows they are embracing their sexual freedom and having a bloody good time.
What makes me smile the most tho is the attitude that a person with fewer veris is somehow more of a lady than those who show them. You are still dropping your knickers and opening your legs for a stranger, whether you do it once or ten times.
I may very well think that guys I want to play with have had previous meets whereby the women are uglier or less intelligent than me. If I liked him I would meet him, I know I play safe so any previous barebacking wouldn't put me off. I'd make my own judgement on how he looks, hygiene, well dressed etc, my own judgement - not yours
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Display what you want
Read what you want
Meet who you want
Don't meet if it doesn't feel right."
I was kinda trying ta say that lol
Just used a few more words
Wish sometimes i could sum things up instead a sermons pmsl xx |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"somepeople will meet anyone for sex with bareback of safesex as they are getting it
as in some are looking for a connection x
Oh I see 100% what you are saying. I'm in the "safe and connection" pot. Rather than just doing any random because they've offered it."
For what its worth why not ask the guy why ... see what he says, the verification process Is very subjective, its third hand info, as with e mail, there's no body language with it no tone, all as important as the words used, keep talking messaging the guy,
I don't see any reason for you to decide either to jump or not, based on verification alone,
if its quality and a connection, .. there's no rush, . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe i need to explain further. I expect safe sex, I will only meet people I fancy, who meet my requirements, I have fun and thats that.
I don't read too much into the verifications it's the sheer quantity and lack of any clear standards that bothers me and yes he eventually told me he likes all shapes/sizes/ages....now that to me isn't someone I feel I would actually connect with because to me that jut shows someone isn't fussy with who they sleep with, especially bareback.
The kind of people I meet on here are hopefully going to be similar in their outlook to me.
I don't like how some people are basically saying I shouldn't be judging him, well why not? We judge everyone we meet, I judge every profile I read on here!
What happened to be being able to speak your opinion freely? Yes the majority may not agree with me and thats fine, I didn't write this thread in hope of lots of people agreeing with me, however I don't expect to be flamed/jumped on for merely expressing an opinion on the kind of playmate I want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Display what you want
Read what you want
Meet who you want
Don't meet if it doesn't feel right."
Not content in ruining Criminal Minds for me you want to ruin the fun element on the forums with common sense and logic.
It doesn't take much to go off people you know! |
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"Maybe i need to explain further. I expect safe sex, I will only meet people I fancy, who meet my requirements, I have fun and thats that.
I don't read too much into the verifications it's the sheer quantity and lack of any clear standards that bothers me and yes he eventually told me he likes all shapes/sizes/ages....now that to me isn't someone I feel I would actually connect with because to me that jut shows someone isn't fussy with who they sleep with, especially bareback.
The kind of people I meet on here are hopefully going to be similar in their outlook to me.
I don't like how some people are basically saying I shouldn't be judging him, well why not? We judge everyone we meet, I judge every profile I read on here!
What happened to be being able to speak your opinion freely? Yes the majority may not agree with me and thats fine, I didn't write this thread in hope of lots of people agreeing with me, however I don't expect to be flamed/jumped on for merely expressing an opinion on the kind of playmate I want."
You are right in that we all judge. Some fail to notice the judgements they make while admonishing those that do.
Makes me laugh.
Your judgement is for YOU. You are judging who YOU want to have sex with.
Unfortunately some negative souls will say that you are judging the other person only. If they didn't , they couldn't moralise.
As my learned friend View said ......
Read what YOU want.
Meet who YOU want.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Display what you want
Read what you want
Meet who you want
Don't meet if it doesn't feel right.
I was kinda trying ta say that lol
Just used a few more words
Wish sometimes i could sum things up instead a sermons pmsl xx "
Yes Soapy your posts are far too wordy, you really need to learn the art of precis and summarising key points - just like I do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Display what you want
Read what you want
Meet who you want
Don't meet if it doesn't feel right.
I was kinda trying ta say that lol
Just used a few more words
Wish sometimes i could sum things up instead a sermons pmsl xx
Yes Soapy your posts are far too wordy, you really need to learn the art of precis and summarising key points - just like I do "
Think thats the shortest one of yours ive ever seen xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of verifications to me says desperation and trying to prove their popularity, whereas in reality it shouts bragging - probably cos in the real world they couldn't pull lol!!!"
How many is lots? I have several veris on my profile, but to me they are there mainly because each meet was lovely in its own way and when I _iew them I have a nice reminisce about each....in terms of proving I am genuine the one veri would do, though repeat veris at least show I am capable of meeting more than once and seeking the thrills of good sex rather than notches on my bedpost. Different veris also give insights upon my character and the acts I like to get up to!
Also tbh, and as has been discussed in the forums before, any bloke who couldn't pull in the real world, be that in a poser's bar, a social club or just in everyday life wouldn't stand a chance in here. He usually either has to have looks, levels of fitness, intelligence, imagination, a clue what ladies want and the right attitude, or more often than not a combination of some of the above if not all of them.
And to answer the OP, there are many different qualities that can make a person attractive sexually to me, so whilst I certainly have standards (smelly people, lazy people and imbeciles are right out for a start) I am a natural optimist so tend to focus on a potential partners yummy qualities. They can be physically gorgeous, intellectually engaging or have the most wonderful confident sexually charged personality...all are a turn on as far as I'm concerned... |
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" .... it's the sheer quantity and lack of any clear standards that bothers me and yes he eventually told me he likes all shapes/sizes/ages....now that to me isn't someone I feel I would actually connect with because to me that jut shows someone isn't fussy with who they sleep with, especially bareback..."
Like you say... it bothers you... it's your problem.
He told you he 'likes' all shapes/sizes/ages... which isn't really the same as saying 'regardless' of their shape/size/age.
It is possible to apply standards on an individual basis.
I don't as I have age preferences.... and I appreciate my lack of attraction to older men is my problem not theirs for being the age they are.
You have decided you will not connect with him because of his verifications... regardless of whether you actually would or not... because lets face it, if you hadn't seen them you'd be still trying to connect.
I am failing to see how a guy shagging a fat, older woman who you don't find attractive links to bareback
Of course if the verifcations show he does engage in bareback then that is a much more objective decision not to meet him.... rather than the number of verifcations.
It's not important to me if I don't fancy the other people someone meets... as long as I fancy them. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I can see exactly what this thread is going to do.... drive more people to hide them all...
you are damned if you do in some eyes... and damned if you don't in others....
its just another case of verification being used as a "be all and end all" solution to everything...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Use your own judgement.
Some perfect guys are passed up because they have no verifications because they are new to the site.
I've always went with my gut feeling and have met (eventually had sex with) some gorgeous newbies.
I only list recent veri's a few social ones, yet having been on the site for years the list may read longer than a roll of andrex.
One club meet could read as another's gang-bang!
Read into veri's what you will but don't lose sight of what attracted you to the person and their profile in the first place. |
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i dont see flaming ,i see debate and agreement and disagreement.
OP,what did you want?Everyone to say women like me who enjoy orgies and greedy girls nights should leave the site because we have too many veris?
Or that men who prefer a mental connection over a strict list of physical characteristics are shallow?
Use veris how you wish,but when you pass judgement on the sexual behaviour of others based solely on their veris then you will find some disagree.
As for me,i will continue ignoring veris and going off whether i want to meet someone. |
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" .... Whilst I'm here to meet people and have fun, I have standards, they don't drop because it's "just sex" and if anything they may be a little higher than normal. ...."
I think quite a few women will admit to (as the saying goes) 'punching above their weight'.... and why not.
The flip side of this is of course... if you up your standards, your playmates are likely having to drop theirs in order for you both to meet in the middle.
To meet the people who aspire to up their game and meet a higher standard of people than they would in day to day life... you have to drop your standards and aim a little lower.
Odd that isn't it.... both sides can't aim higher.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morning all,
I'm still quite new here so apologies if this thread topic has been done before.
Now I know what this site is for and I'm not overly keen on the verification bit and this is why.
Whilst I'm here to meet people and have fun, I have standards, they don't drop because it's "just sex" and if anything they may be a little higher than normal. My issue is this, someone I've been talking too has had ALOT of meets, not a problem I think, proves they are genuine etc but if I dig a little further, look at other profiles it seems this person has no standards what so ever and almost has the "any hole is a goal" opinion.
If I'm honest this has really put me off meeting with him, I'm not here looking for a relationship, I just want NSA fun, so I know what that means but I keep my standards.
Maybe I am going on about nothing but thought I'd put it out there."
Despite the negative comments, we get what your saying visa vis feedback.
After all surely the feedback system was originally put in place to help people decide who they'd like to meet, if not whats the point of it.
One of the reasons we stopped looking for single guys was because of how many "safe sex only" guys we saw had often had "bareback only" meets.
Also the amount of "straight" guys who weren't.
So verifications helped us make a decision.
There's nothing to stop you chatting to this guy but, if your not happy, there's nothing forcing you to meet him either. 
XXXX |
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