FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When is love not enough?
When is love not enough?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had an interesting chat with a mate earlier. He knows about the sinful things I've done in my past and its highly amusing to him. So he tells me he loves his wife still, but he's struggling to feel attracted to her and the sex is just not good. He asked for tips on how to meet women for encounters without her finding out.
My advice is just don't. Talk to her, be honest and explore what options they have together. He's a good guy and i said the guilt will destroy him.
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on your definition of 'loving someone'. I wouldn't stay in a marriage, if I 'loved' someone, but would consider cheating on them. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you try and justify it. If your 'love' is based on sex, then you find someone else, and let your other half find someone who loves her, in a way that she defines as love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on your definition of 'loving someone'. I wouldn't stay in a marriage, if I 'loved' someone, but would consider cheating on them. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you try and justify it. If your 'love' is based on sex, then you find someone else, and let your other half find someone who loves her, in a way that she defines as love."
 roughly what I would have said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her! Unfortunately too many people see emotional atrachment as love...and it is not the same at all! I have been completely in love with someone and only physical inability stopped us having sex, we never stopped wanting eachother or being attracted to eachother, and cheating is a huge no too! Once you open that door ya might aswell admit you are with someone for reasons other than being in love with them. Honesty is key in any type of relationship! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her! Unfortunately too many people see emotional atrachment as love...and it is not the same at all! I have been completely in love with someone and only physical inability stopped us having sex, we never stopped wanting eachother or being attracted to eachother, and cheating is a huge no too! Once you open that door ya might aswell admit you are with someone for reasons other than being in love with them. Honesty is key in any type of relationship!"
I agree. Couples all over the world maintain that connection where the physical act isnt possible.
My question to him was what if if you lost your dick in a combine harvester (its devon, that shit can happen) would the relationship survive?
Theres many ways to stimulate a love life, just need to be willing to work at it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it was just crap sex I could live with it.
If there was no affection at all, even after having a discussion, I would consider parting. "
Looking as fine as you do...crap sex isnt even an option  |
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Why is he no longer attracted to her. To be completely honest no matter how much I loved someone if they became unattractive to me for some reason e.g. grew extremely obese I would struggle to have sex with them.
To me if he loves her and she loves him this is a problem that needs working on together, not him solving it by having sex behind her back. However she needs to contribute too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex husband was shite at kissing and at sex.I stuck by him even though I was sexually frustrated for years. He started cheating on me. Dumped his ass.
Last guy I dated was also crap in bed.He was lovely and really sweet.
Personally if you love someone but crap in bed,I would try and make it work.some people can.others can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart 
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was just crap sex I could live with it.
If there was no affection at all, even after having a discussion, I would consider parting.
Looking as fine as you do...crap sex isnt even an option "
It was, believe me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Associating sex with love is suicide for a relationship, in my opinion. I don’t believe infidelity to be a catastrophe in a relationship. I believe the association of these two concepts causes the perception of catastrophe when really it’s human to want to have variety. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is he no longer attracted to her. To be completely honest no matter how much I loved someone if they became unattractive to me for some reason e.g. grew extremely obese I would struggle to have sex with them.
To me if he loves her and she loves him this is a problem that needs working on together, not him solving it by having sex behind her back. However she needs to contribute too."
Thankfully I've not been asked to observe and give pointers on why. My guess, they've been together since teens, raised a family and are in the same rut as many but too british too talk to each other. I keep banging on about communication is key...what do i know I've been single 7 years lol |
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"Why is he no longer attracted to her. To be completely honest no matter how much I loved someone if they became unattractive to me for some reason e.g. grew extremely obese I would struggle to have sex with them.
To me if he loves her and she loves him this is a problem that needs working on together, not him solving it by having sex behind her back. However she needs to contribute too.
Thankfully I've not been asked to observe and give pointers on why. My guess, they've been together since teens, raised a family and are in the same rut as many but too british too talk to each other. I keep banging on about communication is key...what do i know I've been single 7 years lol"
I think it's telling that he managed to communicate his problem to you but not the woman he loves. I suspect he's just scared of what open communication will uncover and just doesn't want to make the effort with his wife imagining it will be easier to find what he's after with a stranger.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I think it's telling that he managed to communicate his problem to you but not the woman he loves. I suspect he's just scared of what open communication will uncover and just doesn't want to make the effort with his wife imagining it will be easier to find what he's after with a stranger.
"
Definitely. I think its the romanticism of that secret meet, that appeals. The grass is always greener etc. I'm trying to point him in the right direction. Even googled guidance councellors! I need commission  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I think it would have to depend on the rest of the relationship.
My ex for example was crap in bed but i stuck with it because we were married. Sex wasn't what finished our marriage, that was down to him being an all round wanker.
With Cheffy its very different, we are both highly sexed and its great. Our relationship is far stronger, our bond is greater than just sex. If for some horrible reason sex became impossible we would, im sure, be able to live perfectly happily without it.
I appreciate that a bond like we have is precious and we treasure it.
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her! "
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have found if I truely love someone (not necessarily in love with them)and trust them, then the sex is good. It is often more about connection than action if ya know what I mean?  |
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"
I think it's telling that he managed to communicate his problem to you but not the woman he loves. I suspect he's just scared of what open communication will uncover and just doesn't want to make the effort with his wife imagining it will be easier to find what he's after with a stranger.
Definitely. I think its the romanticism of that secret meet, that appeals. The grass is always greener etc. I'm trying to point him in the right direction. Even googled guidance councellors! I need commission "
My advice would be step away. You'll only be getting half the story and he'll be painting himself in a good light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love has nothing to do with sex. Do you want to have sex with everyone you love? Your parents, your children, really close friends (well maybe!). Paradoxically, sex with a partner you love is probably the best you will ever experience. What about those who have a partner they love but some disaster befalls them that they can no longer have sex. Doesn't mean they stop loving them, but will still feel the need to fulfil their sexual desires elsewhere. I'll just put my flame suit on.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have found if I truely love someone (not necessarily in love with them)and trust them, then the sex is good. It is often more about connection than action if ya know what I mean? "
Thats really interesting point. Personally i don't think I've ever been in love love. But i have had such an intense feeling of trust and dedication to someone that it really lets you open up and be vulnerable. That was always when the most incredible experiences happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust."
There are tens of thousands of monogamous relationships that do and are working.
I'd say this is the wrong place for any sort of balanced view on monogamous relationships. Think about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work? "
My wife does |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work?
My wife does "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman. "
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
Gee, now i just want to find a corner to mourn the shallow husk of my single life
Thats was beautiful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I loved him, he made me laugh, was affectionate, kind, generous, faithful and a loving father but the sex was crap I would stay. It's important but not the be all and end all.
Risking all of the above for the possibility of a good shag with a complete arsehole just isn't worth it.
Luckily we're very sexually compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
Aww |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
 |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
My old boss did this with his wife (who worked in same department). I say old boss he was my age. But whenever his wife walked past his eyes would follow her, full of love.
I knew then i wanted a man who looked at me the same way. |
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"Had an interesting chat with a mate earlier. He knows about the sinful things I've done in my past and its highly amusing to him. So he tells me he loves his wife still, but he's struggling to feel attracted to her and the sex is just not good. He asked for tips on how to meet women for encounters without her finding out.
My advice is just don't. Talk to her, be honest and explore what options they have together. He's a good guy and i said the guilt will destroy him.
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work? "
I stayed in a sexless marriage out of loyalty and commitment, and I should not have done, because he lied about his commitment to work it out.
Yes, the only answer is to be honest with each other, and ultimately to part if both are not equally committed to making it work.
Monogamy does work - but only if both parties are honest, and committed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
My old boss did this with his wife (who worked in same department). I say old boss he was my age. But whenever his wife walked past his eyes would follow her, full of love.
I knew then i wanted a man who looked at me the same way."
What's really lovely about this is you also then wonder what is it she does that makes him behave like that too.
I travel a lot and love people watching. Always love watching older couples especially. The way they behave or respond towards each other, often without words too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he is struggling to feel attracted to her and the sex is not good then there is a two way problem, it is not just down to him. As you suggested communication is the best way forward but difficult to do and it is a shame that sex/relationship counselling is all to often considered a last resort by couples or after it is too late. |
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"If I loved him, he made me laugh, was affectionate, kind, generous, faithful and a loving father but the sex was crap I would stay. It's important but not the be all and end all.
Risking all of the above for the possibility of a good shag with a complete arsehole just isn't worth it.
Luckily we're very sexually compatible."
Exactly...why risk all the rest you love and enjoy for the sake of sex, while sex is very important, it is not everything. |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
My old boss did this with his wife (who worked in same department). I say old boss he was my age. But whenever his wife walked past his eyes would follow her, full of love.
I knew then i wanted a man who looked at me the same way.
What's really lovely about this is you also then wonder what is it she does that makes him behave like that too.
I travel a lot and love people watching. Always love watching older couples especially. The way they behave or respond towards each other, often without words too."
There's a few couples I know at a local dance club and the women just glow, it's wonderful to see them, and my single male friends all say how sexy they are, that confidence to totally be themselves that somehow makes even their flaws beautiful, it's amazing.....I envy them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love has nothing to do with sex. Do you want to have sex with everyone you love? Your parents, your children, really close friends (well maybe!). Paradoxically, sex with a partner you love is probably the best you will ever experience. What about those who have a partner they love but some disaster befalls them that they can no longer have sex. Doesn't mean they stop loving them, but will still feel the need to fulfil their sexual desires elsewhere. I'll just put my flame suit on..... "
im absolutely with you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her."
Sounds like dumb obedience to me. Everyone has flaws, it doesn't mean you don't still love them. |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me. "
You couldn't be more wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I loved him, he made me laugh, was affectionate, kind, generous, faithful and a loving father but the sex was crap I would stay. It's important but not the be all and end all.
Risking all of the above for the possibility of a good shag with a complete arsehole just isn't worth it.
Luckily we're very sexually compatible.
Exactly...why risk all the rest you love and enjoy for the sake of sex, while sex is very important, it is not everything."
Which is easy to say for those getting regular sex. Most people are on here because they like sex, yes? If you are in a happy sexual partnership with someone you love and, through no-ones fault one party can no longer have sex, the other will still love them but be condemned to a lifetime of sexual frustration and misery. Doesn't that sound fun? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong. "
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok? |
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"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust.
There are tens of thousands of monogamous relationships that do and are working.
I'd say this is the wrong place for any sort of balanced view on monogamous relationships. Think about it."
Apparently we’re incapable of doing so objectively so we better not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust."
I think this is spot on really, most people just don't admit it, or maybe realise it.
I have thought about this in the past, I have found if you are totally into one woman, she's into you and everything is working out well, then neither are straying or wanting too (unless you both swing together) It's when things get turbulent or one element of the relashionship is not so good, then things have the potential to change (cheating wise) |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?"
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to."
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?"
I'm lost. What's murder got to with showing affirmation and love? Seriously? |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
"
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom."
Maybe that's it in a nutshell.
We've all become to fucking selfish about 'my' rights and pleasing me that we've forgotten the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I loved him, he made me laugh, was affectionate, kind, generous, faithful and a loving father but the sex was crap I would stay. It's important but not the be all and end all.
Risking all of the above for the possibility of a good shag with a complete arsehole just isn't worth it.
Luckily we're very sexually compatible.
Exactly...why risk all the rest you love and enjoy for the sake of sex, while sex is very important, it is not everything.
Which is easy to say for those getting regular sex. Most people are on here because they like sex, yes? If you are in a happy sexual partnership with someone you love and, through no-ones fault one party can no longer have sex, the other will still love them but be condemned to a lifetime of sexual frustration and misery. Doesn't that sound fun?"
No it sounds shit.
That's when it's time to remind yourself that you love them and they deserve your honesty rather than lying and fucking around their back which shows a complete lack of respect.
As difficult as I imagine it would be, you would need to be honest and explain how your sexual needs are not being met. If the problem can't be resolved then would they be accepting of you having sex with people outwith the relationship? You would both need to decide if it was worth it to try and keep the relationship.
Or you could just be an utter cunt and fuck about behind their back which is the easier option if you don't really love or respect them. |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
Maybe that's it in a nutshell.
We've all become to fucking selfish about 'my' rights and pleasing me that we've forgotten the other person."
Yup, if both give - it all works fine. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Maybe that's it in a nutshell.
We've all become to fucking selfish about 'my' rights and pleasing me that we've forgotten the other person."
Speak for yourself...I'm a giver me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
That's when it's time to remind yourself that you love them and they deserve your honesty rather than lying and fucking around their back which shows a complete lack of respect.
As difficult as I imagine it would be, you would need to be honest and explain how your sexual needs are not being met. If the problem can't be resolved then would they be accepting of you having sex with people outwith the relationship? You would both need to decide if it was worth it to try and keep the relationship.
Or you could just be an utter cunt and fuck about behind their back which is the easier option if you don't really love or respect them."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust.
There are tens of thousands of monogamous relationships that do and are working.
I'd say this is the wrong place for any sort of balanced view on monogamous relationships. Think about it.
Apparently we’re incapable of doing so objectively so we better not "
Yes we're just deviants from a sex site what do we know?! |
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"Had an interesting chat with a mate earlier. He knows about the sinful things I've done in my past and its highly amusing to him. So he tells me he loves his wife still, but he's struggling to feel attracted to her and the sex is just not good. He asked for tips on how to meet women for encounters without her finding out.
My advice is just don't. Talk to her, be honest and explore what options they have together. He's a good guy and i said the guilt will destroy him.
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work? "
That's good advice. Well done you. |
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I don't know if you can ever do all that can be done to improve sex with a partner. It's about communication and remaining open, which is tough, when things are hard between you.
Splitting up doesn't have to happen, if you both can accommodate a new style of relationship. But it means that the couple has to likely grow through this and realise the same thing together.
The TV show on Channel 4 tonight covers 4 couples after 7 years who are considering splitting, so they split them and pair them with opposite numbers for a couple of weeks. Sometimes we just don't accept the value of what we have highly enough. The love and connection between people is worth its weight in gold and easily overlooked, when you're struggling with one aspect, like not getting sexual satisfaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it’s a very weird thing we do in society, have a normal promiscuous life, for maybe years, then suddenly meet someone who we might like more intensely, and then expect ourselves from that point onwards, never to desire sex with another human being for the rest of our lives. Baffles me. It’s like never allowing yourself chocolate again ever. Oh my god, I can’t imagine a life like that. |
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"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust."
And another one who paints the whole world with her brush.
She can't make a relationship work, therefore nobody can.
So so clueless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is exactly why monogamous relationships don't work.
After being on sites like these for a while it has made me jaded and sceptical that anyone is faithful to anyone.
If you are cheating then it's not love.
I was in a relationship that was secure and we were best mates- but there was no passion.
I thought I loved him - I was comfortable and financially secure.
I eventually cheated and broke his heart
People say it's just a fuck - but It's never just a fuck - it's shitting all over your partners trust.
And another one who paints the whole world with her brush.
She can't make a relationship work, therefore nobody can.
So so clueless."
No that's not what I mean at all.
And I don't understand why people are attacking me on this thread!
You are swingers - and that is probably why your relationship works I was talking about monogamy.
But then what do I know right!
Thanks a lot for making me feel like shit!
reported! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I stayed in a relationship I shouldn't have, under similar circumstances.
On the upside, the consequences were some of the most interesting times of my life.
On the downside, I broke hearts, not least of which a very lovely woman who didn't deserve it, and acquired a psychotic stalker who still tries to contact me now, 2 years after I last spoke to her.
Just don't do it, if you aren't happy talk about it. If talking gets you nowhere then you two aren't meant to be together, leave. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Had an interesting chat with a mate earlier. He knows about the sinful things I've done in my past and its highly amusing to him. So he tells me he loves his wife still, but he's struggling to feel attracted to her and the sex is just not good. He asked for tips on how to meet women for encounters without her finding out.
My advice is just don't. Talk to her, be honest and explore what options they have together. He's a good guy and i said the guilt will destroy him.
Got me thinking though, would you stay with a partner who you loved more than anything even if the sex was really really bad and you'd tried all you could to make it work?
That's good advice. Well done you."
Wheres the back pat emoji when you need it lol
Its just experienced advice, I'm not a good guy. In fact i was like a sex voldemort...i did great things, terrible but great.
Its a penance
 |
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"I think it’s a very weird thing we do in society, have a normal promiscuous life, for maybe years, then suddenly meet someone who we might like more intensely, and then expect ourselves from that point onwards, never to desire sex with another human being for the rest of our lives. Baffles me. It’s like never allowing yourself chocolate again ever. Oh my god, I can’t imagine a life like that. "
A promiscuous lifestyle isn't normal for everyone. Just as I don't expect everyone to be monogamous I don't expect everyone to be non monogamous either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it’s a very weird thing we do in society, have a normal promiscuous life, for maybe years, then suddenly meet someone who we might like more intensely, and then expect ourselves from that point onwards, never to desire sex with another human being for the rest of our lives. Baffles me. It’s like never allowing yourself chocolate again ever. Oh my god, I can’t imagine a life like that.
A promiscuous lifestyle isn't normal for everyone. Just as I don't expect everyone to be monogamous I don't expect everyone to be non monogamous either."
I probably don’t mean promiscuous to the degree of a person on Fab, but maybe just in the sense of having the freedom to do what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
Maybe that's it in a nutshell.
We've all become to fucking selfish about 'my' rights and pleasing me that we've forgotten the other person."
What about if the other loved you dearly and your lives together all except the sex . Would you shatter their world your kids world, so you could be free to go off and have sex or just discretly do what you had to do and continue to keep them happy in all other respects, and yourself into the bargain |
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"I think it’s a very weird thing we do in society, have a normal promiscuous life, for maybe years, then suddenly meet someone who we might like more intensely, and then expect ourselves from that point onwards, never to desire sex with another human being for the rest of our lives. Baffles me. It’s like never allowing yourself chocolate again ever. Oh my god, I can’t imagine a life like that.
A promiscuous lifestyle isn't normal for everyone. Just as I don't expect everyone to be monogamous I don't expect everyone to be non monogamous either.
I probably don’t mean promiscuous to the degree of a person on Fab, but maybe just in the sense of having the freedom to do what you want. "
Ah right .
Does anyone have that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom."
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I loved him, he made me laugh, was affectionate, kind, generous, faithful and a loving father but the sex was crap I would stay. It's important but not the be all and end all.
Risking all of the above for the possibility of a good shag with a complete arsehole just isn't worth it.
Luckily we're very sexually compatible.
Exactly...why risk all the rest you love and enjoy for the sake of sex, while sex is very important, it is not everything.
Which is easy to say for those getting regular sex. Most people are on here because they like sex, yes? If you are in a happy sexual partnership with someone you love and, through no-ones fault one party can no longer have sex, the other will still love them but be condemned to a lifetime of sexual frustration and misery. Doesn't that sound fun?
No it sounds shit.
That's when it's time to remind yourself that you love them and they deserve your honesty rather than lying and fucking around their back which shows a complete lack of respect.
As difficult as I imagine it would be, you would need to be honest and explain how your sexual needs are not being met. If the problem can't be resolved then would they be accepting of you having sex with people outwith the relationship? You would both need to decide if it was worth it to try and keep the relationship.
Or you could just be an utter cunt and fuck about behind their back which is the easier option if you don't really love or respect them."
In your opinion.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP... personally if you have not got intimacy - includes sex and cuddles etc.. - then the relationship is friendship.
To have a deep intimacy with someone is difficult to find, but people do. That’s what makes those relationships different to others in your life.
You’re a long time dead and I wouldn’t even consider a relationship that didn’t involve deep meaning connection and initimacy - good sex comes from that too because to you both it’s great with each other and that’s all that matters.
Only found it once, and I’ll never settle for anything less... hence, single |
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If you're love is based on attraction from the beginning then it's never going to last... looks can and will change over time, so as soon as the attraction goes.. bye bye love.. but if you love a person for who they are as a personality.. character.. heart... then you're connection is different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're love is based on attraction from the beginning then it's never going to last... looks can and will change over time, so as soon as the attraction goes.. bye bye love.. but if you love a person for who they are as a personality.. character.. heart... then you're connection is different."
True but people change too. Relationships evolve, as do expectations. You change and sometimes that's the issue not your partner. Focus on making changes not expecting the partner to change to meet your expectations? Some times it's too late. That's not a crime...sad yes but it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're love is based on attraction from the beginning then it's never going to last... looks can and will change over time, so as soon as the attraction goes.. bye bye love.. but if you love a person for who they are as a personality.. character.. heart... then you're connection is different.
True but people change too. Relationships evolve, as do expectations. You change and sometimes that's the issue not your partner. Focus on making changes not expecting the partner to change to meet your expectations? Some times it's too late. That's not a crime...sad yes but it happens."
 |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say..."
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was. "
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best. |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best."
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you."
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them. |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you.
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them."
No-one mentioned faults. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you.
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them.
No-one mentioned faults. "
I did.... |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you.
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them.
No-one mentioned faults.
I did...."
Then you are simply tilting at a windmill of your own construction, because personal flaws have nothing to do with giving someone your unfailing support. If I say my man cannot fail it does not mean he is without fault, it means I will stand by him and support him and believe in him regardless. I'm sorry if you've never given or received that, or for some other reason despise the concept enough to try and deny or decry it's existence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The issue here is that your friend, OP, can’t take any of the conditions in isolation and expect them to be enough. And unless you’ve experienced it, you will not know what I mean here, but when that thing you can’t describe to anyone exists between two people; That’s what it should be. It’s what people miss and without it you have to ask is it worth it?
Just my 10pence worth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you.
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them.
No-one mentioned faults.
I did....
Then you are simply tilting at a windmill of your own construction, because personal flaws have nothing to do with giving someone your unfailing support. If I say my man cannot fail it does not mean he is without fault, it means I will stand by him and support him and believe in him regardless. I'm sorry if you've never given or received that, or for some other reason despise the concept enough to try and deny or decry it's existence "
The line I quoted implies an inability to find fault in the person you love, which I took literally. So your man could do anything, however horrific, and you would stand by him? Interesting. Thank you for your concern but you don't know me well enough to feel sorry for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The issue here is that your friend, OP, can’t take any of the conditions in isolation and expect them to be enough. And unless you’ve experienced it, you will not know what I mean here, but when that thing you can’t describe to anyone exists between two people; That’s what it should be. It’s what people miss and without it you have to ask is it worth it?
Just my 10pence worth"
Ok, I think I've gotton my head around the syntax of the paragraph and yes, I very much agree with what you say. My concern for him was in taking a singular experience (sex) and elevating it to an unreasonable degree.
Only they know if its love they feel, but I'm pretty sure its not worth the risk of testing it just for a quickie: never worth it.
On a side note, a thought popped into my head; he'll kill me if he knows I've said anything lol so shhh ok |
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"To me that just means he isn't in love with her. You don't love her because she is beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her!
Yes, and the amazing thing is there is nothing as beautiful as a well-loved woman.
Yep. You can see the comfort, natural confidence and air of security that she will give off without being aware of it wherever she goes. She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.
Sounds like dumb obedience to me.
You couldn't be more wrong.
So the person you love to bits murders someone. That's ok?
Well obviously he is not including murder, just all the normal things that a husband could use to affirm and approve of his wife, but few seems to.
'She cannot fail in the eyes of the one who truly loves her.'..........
Don't be obtuse Drago, OBVIOUSLY he did not mean it in that sense, most married couples could do with learning a lot about the kind of daily loyalty and support and personal belief that makes a spouse thrive and bloom.
That's the trouble with this place. Very few people say what they mean, and very few mean what they say...
Sometimes it's not clear, but you know full well this was.
I picked an extreme to make the point. The concept that even a loved one is without fault is optimistic at best.
That's not what he said or meant and if you truly have no concept of giving someone your unfailing, unconditional support then I pity you.
Now that's not what I said is it? You can love someone but still recognise faults in them, which you accept for the very reason that you love them.
No-one mentioned faults.
I did....
Then you are simply tilting at a windmill of your own construction, because personal flaws have nothing to do with giving someone your unfailing support. If I say my man cannot fail it does not mean he is without fault, it means I will stand by him and support him and believe in him regardless. I'm sorry if you've never given or received that, or for some other reason despise the concept enough to try and deny or decry it's existence
The line I quoted implies an inability to find fault in the person you love, which I took literally."
Well it was neither implied nor meant literally - why can't you accept that? In the context of the kind of faithful, loving relationship been normal people we were all describing it is a fabulous description of unconditional support.
Is the concept so disturbing to you that you cannot accept that even in a sex site discussion? And ought you not ask yourself why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you love something let it go.. if it comes back to you it's yours.. if it doesn't it never was!"
Only problem is, they come back when they can't find anyone else! |
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Love frequently isn't enough in the wider sense.
My mum got involved with a church run coffee shop that was intended to help troubled youths. It was well intentioned but the mainly middle class women running it thought that drug, alcohol and violence problems could be solved with a kind word, a slice of cake, coffee and love.
Love on its own is ever enough, it has to be converted to words and actions. |
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I never understand this question.
To 'love' someone but cheat on them or leave them because the 'sex' isn't good tells me that they weren't 'loved' in the first place.
Sex doesn't = love.
Obviously the SELF and the SEX that SELF gets is more important to the SELF than the relationship , the other or the love.
Not love in my book. |
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"Love frequently isn't enough in the wider sense.
My mum got involved with a church run coffee shop that was intended to help troubled youths. It was well intentioned but the mainly middle class women running it thought that drug, alcohol and violence problems could be solved with a kind word, a slice of cake, coffee and love.
Love on its own is ever enough, it has to be converted to words and actions."
Put the fuckin' knife down and drink the tea ! |
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"If you love something let it go.. if it comes back to you it's yours.. if it doesn't it never was!
Only problem is, they come back when they can't find anyone else! "
Thank God for common sense like yours. If it comes back it doesn't mean it loves you. |
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"Love frequently isn't enough in the wider sense.
My mum got involved with a church run coffee shop that was intended to help troubled youths. It was well intentioned but the mainly middle class women running it thought that drug, alcohol and violence problems could be solved with a kind word, a slice of cake, coffee and love.
Love on its own is ever enough, it has to be converted to words and actions.
Put the fuckin' knife down and drink the tea !"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love frequently isn't enough in the wider sense.
My mum got involved with a church run coffee shop that was intended to help troubled youths. It was well intentioned but the mainly middle class women running it thought that drug, alcohol and violence problems could be solved with a kind word, a slice of cake, coffee and love.
Love on its own is ever enough, it has to be converted to words and actions.
Put the fuckin' knife down and drink the tea !"
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