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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Was surprised that this is not mentioned at all in any forum searches.
It is something I've been experiencing with a couple subs over the past few years and recently again have been exploring it even further with one particular sub. She is a regular but the trust has been something special from even before our first meet. This is often achieved in true tantric massage which I've been involved in too. It is an amazing experience to experience.
Has anyone else here got any experience of this that they'd like to share either being in that state or being the one who is in control?
For those unfamiliar with this term, it is that very special place that often a - 'submissive enters when he/she reaches a natural chemical high and/or change in mental and/or emotional balance of the brain chemistry, and state of mind. Best achieved when total trust is in place with his/her Dominant, and one totally immerses themselves in an intense BDSM scene. Note: The sub may not be capable of making rational decisions about his/her safety and well-being at this point, thus it is the responsibility of the Dom to provide for the welfare of his/her sub, this is known as, "aftercare".' - urban dictionary. |
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I find it quite a responsibility to make sure you take care of a sub when they are in this mindset and are completely submitted like that. It's easy to take advantage. There has to complete respect.
For instance no dirty sanchez's  |
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It gets risky speaking about kink on Fab. As a site it views many BSDM themes as abuse so stops and blocks participants of the thread.
I drop into subspace very easily myself. I just immerse myself i the scene with the top. But the aftercare i require is probably high due to this... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How long does it last? That depends on whether you encourage it, extend it.
The submissive can be very open mentally at this point, senses can blur, be heightened or manipulated. Depending on the individuals inclination they can find it a way of releasing inner desires or become very entranced and internalised.
As the Dom(me) it is the time you can take the bond between you to another level or screw them up, caution is advised.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it quite a responsibility to make sure you take care of a sub when they are in this mindset and are completely submitted like that. It's easy to take advantage. There has to complete respect.
For instance no dirty sanchez's "
I thought you were going to be serious for a moment- then I got to the last line  |
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"I find it quite a responsibility to make sure you take care of a sub when they are in this mindset and are completely submitted like that. It's easy to take advantage. There has to complete respect.
For instance no dirty sanchez's
I thought you were going to be serious for a moment- then I got to the last line "
I did start out serious, then lost interest half way through. I have a problem. |
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There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it's with the person I trust can and has been truly euphoric.
Aftercare is so very important I cannot stress enough.
Chocolate , tea cuddles are always good |
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"I find it quite a responsibility to make sure you take care of a sub when they are in this mindset and are completely submitted like that. It's easy to take advantage. There has to complete respect.
For instance no dirty sanchez's "
I almost fell for you then... then you ruined it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context."
Yes, I’ve seen a fair number of threads - often in the other forums though rather than the Lounge per se. |
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I have experience with both sides of this coin.
As a sub, the first time I entered sub space I was with someone not very experienced with domming. She did fine, but we probably went further with administration of pain than we should.
Since, it's been with experienced kinksters who know to watch me, and even ask me how I am doing and who knows my body and mind well. Being put through what some might see as an ordeal and cared for after is a whole rush if brain chemistry and emotions.
As a Dom, I watch carefully for the woman I am playing with to ascertain her state of mind. I don't want to spoil subspace by talking lots but I do want to establish ongoing consent and stop at the right pot. It is possible for someone to take a lot more play/pain in this state than they usually do. It can be beautiful but the onus is definitely on the dom to be careful that the sub isn't hurt too much.
Then aftercare which varies from person to person but often includes cuddles, gentle touch, water, sweets /chocolate. |
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"I have experience with both sides of this coin.
As a sub, the first time I entered sub space I was with someone not very experienced with domming. She did fine, but we probably went further with administration of pain than we should.
Since, it's been with experienced kinksters who know to watch me, and even ask me how I am doing and who knows my body and mind well. Being put through what some might see as an ordeal and cared for after is a whole rush if brain chemistry and emotions.
As a Dom, I watch carefully for the woman I am playing with to ascertain her state of mind. I don't want to spoil subspace by talking lots but I do want to establish ongoing consent and stop at the right pot. It is possible for someone to take a lot more play/pain in this state than they usually do. It can be beautiful but the onus is definitely on the dom to be careful that the sub isn't hurt too much.
Then aftercare which varies from person to person but often includes cuddles, gentle touch, water, sweets /chocolate. "
This!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have experience with both sides of this coin.
As a sub, the first time I entered sub space I was with someone not very experienced with domming. She did fine, but we probably went further with administration of pain than we should.
Since, it's been with experienced kinksters who know to watch me, and even ask me how I am doing and who knows my body and mind well. Being put through what some might see as an ordeal and cared for after is a whole rush if brain chemistry and emotions.
As a Dom, I watch carefully for the woman I am playing with to ascertain her state of mind. I don't want to spoil subspace by talking lots but I do want to establish ongoing consent and stop at the right pot. It is possible for someone to take a lot more play/pain in this state than they usually do. It can be beautiful but the onus is definitely on the dom to be careful that the sub isn't hurt too much.
Then aftercare which varies from person to person but often includes cuddles, gentle touch, water, sweets /chocolate. "
This , so much this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context."
I agree particularly with your last comment Frisky. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have experience with both sides of this coin.
As a sub, the first time I entered sub space I was with someone not very experienced with domming. She did fine, but we probably went further with administration of pain than we should.
Since, it's been with experienced kinksters who know to watch me, and even ask me how I am doing and who knows my body and mind well. Being put through what some might see as an ordeal and cared for after is a whole rush if brain chemistry and emotions.
As a Dom, I watch carefully for the woman I am playing with to ascertain her state of mind. I don't want to spoil subspace by talking lots but I do want to establish ongoing consent and stop at the right pot. It is possible for someone to take a lot more play/pain in this state than they usually do. It can be beautiful but the onus is definitely on the dom to be careful that the sub isn't hurt too much.
Then aftercare which varies from person to person but often includes cuddles, gentle touch, water, sweets /chocolate. "
Glad you've said this. There's been a huge influx of 'Doms' since the 50 shade tac, who have no real knowledge about what a dom actually is and even less idea of their responsibility. The abuse that has happened since that series is unfortunate. And not just from Doms but subs exploring who have unwittingly put themselves in places to be abused, physically, emotionally and mentally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context.
I agree particularly with your last comment Frisky. "
I can't understand how people can meet nsa but yet partake in bdsm play? For me it's about trust , understanding that your Dominant knows you. It's scary to think that lots just see it as a game and a bit of fun when sadly sometimes it goes very wrong. |
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"There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context.
I agree particularly with your last comment Frisky.
I can't understand how people can meet nsa but yet partake in bdsm play? For me it's about trust , understanding that your Dominant knows you. It's scary to think that lots just see it as a game and a bit of fun when sadly sometimes it goes very wrong."
Totally agree & the 50 Shades rubbish has got a lot of responsibility for this! I would only ever indulge in fet play if I was with Gomez, or with an experienced BDSMer who I trusted & never with a casual meet!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There have been a few threads on it, maybe under different titles. The trouble with subspace in a swinging environment is that few men will have the knowledge or inclination to provide aftercare - that is a 'duty of care' in that kind of relationship, an obligation, and that kind of responsibility does not suit an nsa context.
I agree particularly with your last comment Frisky. "
|
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Personally I only get anything from BDSM play if I have a connection with the person/people I am playing with. The minimum is knowing them a bit and knowing they care about my experience and safety. Ditto when I dom.
The problem with 50 shades is the author knows nothing about consensual BDSM and unfortunately some people who were titilated by the books think "that's how it's done". What is portrayed in those books is simply abuse, both physical and emotional. It's great that people are trying new things but such a shame those books are being used almost as instruction manuals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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because of the level of care involved I won't meet subs or Doms on this site. Nsa just doesn't work and a relationship is required to establish trust and follow up on the aftercare. I hate the thought of a sub needing me or some reassurance either immediately after play or in the days following. |
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Possibly the most intense session I had was three hours of needle and suture play with two Dommes plus my girlfriend watching.
Aftercare was mostly a quick chocolate with everyone then cuddles with my gf followed by lots of tea and chat with all of us, and one Domme friend making dinner. The two Dommes are both good friends and I know I can message them any time after I leave. Additionally my wife knew and was there for me when I got home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I only get anything from BDSM play if I have a connection with the person/people I am playing with. The minimum is knowing them a bit and knowing they care about my experience and safety. Ditto when I dom.
The problem with 50 shades is the author knows nothing about consensual BDSM and unfortunately some people who were titilated by the books think "that's how it's done". What is portrayed in those books is simply abuse, both physical and emotional. It's great that people are trying new things but such a shame those books are being used almost as instruction manuals. "
Have you read the books yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long does it last? That depends on whether you encourage it, extend it.
The submissive can be very open mentally at this point, senses can blur, be heightened or manipulated. Depending on the individuals inclination they can find it a way of releasing inner desires or become very entranced and internalised.
As the Dom(me) it is the time you can take the bond between you to another level or screw them up, caution is advised. "
Thank you for the info. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Was surprised that this is not mentioned at all in any forum searches.
It is something I've been experiencing with a couple subs over the past few years and recently again have been exploring it even further with one particular sub. She is a regular but the trust has been something special from even before our first meet. This is often achieved in true tantric massage which I've been involved in too. It is an amazing experience to experience.
Has anyone else here got any experience of this that they'd like to share either being in that state or being the one who is in control?
For those unfamiliar with this term, it is that very special place that often a - 'submissive enters when he/she reaches a natural chemical high and/or change in mental and/or emotional balance of the brain chemistry, and state of mind. Best achieved when total trust is in place with his/her Dominant, and one totally immerses themselves in an intense BDSM scene. Note: The sub may not be capable of making rational decisions about his/her safety and well-being at this point, thus it is the responsibility of the Dom to provide for the welfare of his/her sub, this is known as, "aftercare".' - urban dictionary."
I experienced it for the first time recently. It was like being up in space with the stars. Pure euphoria. And the horniest ive ever felt ever! Like I couldn't get enough... |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I have found myself in, what i can only describe as, a state of euphoria. Its an incredible intense feeling and lasted well over an hour, in fact to a lesser degree i was 'high' for several days after the experience and still to this day i crave the feeling again. |
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"Personally I only get anything from BDSM play if I have a connection with the person/people I am playing with. The minimum is knowing them a bit and knowing they care about my experience and safety. Ditto when I dom.
The problem with 50 shades is the author knows nothing about consensual BDSM and unfortunately some people who were titilated by the books think "that's how it's done". What is portrayed in those books is simply abuse, both physical and emotional. It's great that people are trying new things but such a shame those books are being used almost as instruction manuals.
Have you read the books yourself?"
I read the first two as my wife and best friend loved them. They were somewhat the intended audience, not experienced in kink and they found the story quite titillating. And that's perfectly fine, as long as people don't go seeking Mr Grey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found myself in, what i can only describe as, a state of euphoria. Its an incredible intense feeling and lasted well over an hour, in fact to a lesser degree i was 'high' for several days after the experience and still to this day i crave the feeling again."
Like a 'floaty' feeling? |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"I have found myself in, what i can only describe as, a state of euphoria. Its an incredible intense feeling and lasted well over an hour, in fact to a lesser degree i was 'high' for several days after the experience and still to this day i crave the feeling again.
Like a 'floaty' feeling?"
Yes but better, almost out of body... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found myself in, what i can only describe as, a state of euphoria. Its an incredible intense feeling and lasted well over an hour, in fact to a lesser degree i was 'high' for several days after the experience and still to this day i crave the feeling again.
Like a 'floaty' feeling?
Yes but better, almost out of body..."
I've had floaty it was beautiful.
I guess everyone experiences subspace differently. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have found myself in, what i can only describe as, a state of euphoria. Its an incredible intense feeling and lasted well over an hour, in fact to a lesser degree i was 'high' for several days after the experience and still to this day i crave the feeling again.
Like a 'floaty' feeling?
Yes but better, almost out of body...
I've had floaty it was beautiful.
I guess everyone experiences subspace differently. "
Think a lot depends on how comfortable one is with letting go further or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes quite a while of gentle build up to get me there.Once it happens my pain threshold disappears and I would let anything happen.The feeling can last for a couple of hours and then exhaustion sets in. |
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I've only experienced this once - when the pleasure and headfuck went beyond my known boundaries.
I was with a very trusted friend. I was fully aware of everything going on and felt in a dreamlike state. I had absolutely no ability to speak, so safe words were useless. It was like those moments when your eyes roll back in your head with ecstacy, only 100 times more intense.
Apparently, I made low gutteral noises that were never heard at any other time in my life.
Afterwards it was like I was on a cushion of air; experiencing the world in the third person. I had a 3-hour train journey home and I can barely recall it. Had I known this was even a thing, there's no way I'd have made my way home alone.
It's not something I aim for these days, though it's certainly a pleasure I wouldn't shy away from, if it ever happened again.
C |
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"It gets risky speaking about kink on Fab. As a site it views many BSDM themes as abuse so stops and blocks participants of the thread.
I drop into subspace very easily myself. I just immerse myself i the scene with the top. But the aftercare i require is probably high due to this... "
Fizzy drink and chocolate and WRR works well |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I've only experienced this once - when the pleasure and headfuck went beyond my known boundaries.
I was with a very trusted friend. I was fully aware of everything going on and felt in a dreamlike state. I had absolutely no ability to speak, so safe words were useless. It was like those moments when your eyes roll back in your head with ecstacy, only 100 times more intense.
Apparently, I made low gutteral noises that were never heard at any other time in my life.
Afterwards it was like I was on a cushion of air; experiencing the world in the third person. I had a 3-hour train journey home and I can barely recall it. Had I known this was even a thing, there's no way I'd have made my way home alone.
It's not something I aim for these days, though it's certainly a pleasure I wouldn't shy away from, if it ever happened again.
C"
I do know where you are coming from. Unless you experienced this, you would not know. |
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