FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You know you’re getting old when.....
You know you’re getting old when.....
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
...you go to a pub and the music is too loud. |
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... you’re wishing the snow away. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
...You find yourself thinking of buying over 50’s funeral insurance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you say something to your child and you sound like your mam  |
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... at 10pm you’re offered another drink and you reply “actually, I think I’ll just have a nice cup of tea”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you wake up at 5 am for a pee |
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When you see scantily clad women in the street and think "you'll catch you death of cold dressed like that" |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"when you wake up at 5 am for a pee "
That’s so true! |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
You know you’re getting old when.....
When you're watching a porn film and you think, fuck that bed looks comfy!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when you wake up at 5 am for a pee
That’s so true!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...you go to a pub and the music is too loud. "
yup |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"You know you’re getting old when.....
When you're watching a porn film and you think, fuck that bed looks comfy! "
Yes! I’m also impressed with the swanky kitchens they film in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually laughed out loud then. It’s true! |
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"When you say something to your child and you sound like your mam "
Ha. Yes I'm turning into my mother lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you actually start planning your afternoon nap  |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"Actually laughed out loud then. It’s true!"
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... a DRIVER gives you their date of birth as 1999! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you see one of your daughters mates on fab ha |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
"You know you’re getting old when.....
When you're watching a porn film and you think, fuck that bed looks comfy!
Yes! I’m also impressed with the swanky kitchens they film in!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don’t even go to the pub, staying in with tea and chocolate is the new rock and roll right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you eldest is two years off turning 40  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you get Sunlife shite through your letterbox |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you get Sunlife shite through your letterbox "
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"when you eldest is two years off turning 40 "
Wow! |
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... when your kids tell you you’re embarrassing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"......Radio 1 is just a noise"
Radio 2 is where it’s all happening  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When asked for your ID when purchasing liqueur at waitrose. .. was asked the other day AGAIN. .. wanted to say listen little pup I could fuck you and your father at the same time lol |
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
"... at 10pm you’re offered another drink and you reply “actually, I think I’ll just have a nice cup of tea”. "
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
"When you actually start planning your afternoon nap "
Or you plan things around your afternoon nap...  |
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When you get a new mobile phone and a mate asks your witch one you got and your reply "I dont know"
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When you get a new mobile phone and a mate asks your witch one you got and your reply "I dont know what's its called"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You go to a theme park with your kids and looking around at the rides & you think f@?k that ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your next major life step is retirement - and you can't wait!! |
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"When you get a new mobile phone and a mate asks your witch one you got and your reply "I dont know what's its called"
"
Ha ha ha ha.
Or when you ask your child to work the TV. |
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"When you actually start planning your afternoon nap
Or you plan things around your afternoon nap... "
Or look forward to your afternoon nap! |
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
"When you actually start planning your afternoon nap
Or you plan things around your afternoon nap...
Or look forward to your afternoon nap! "
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When you make noises of effort getting up off the floor or even out of a chair... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you are sitting there nodding and smiling reading this thread knowing it’s all true |
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"When you make noises of effort getting up off the floor or even out of a chair..."
Ha ha ha ha. This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But never ...ever ..Jeremy Vine, ,,Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you turn the running machine at the gym down a notch for comfort ..Lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When all your favourite musicians are dead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you meet someone you went to school with and they're old |
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When you start looking in Greenwoods window  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But never ...ever ..Jeremy Vine, ,,Lol. "
No lol , Ken’s good though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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........ you don’t trust a fart......... or waste a hard on!!! |
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When going out with your child they ask you if you've been to the toilet, checked your seat belt is fastened properly before they get into the driving seat and hold YOUR hand when crossing the road!  |
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"... at 10pm you’re offered another drink and you reply “actually, I think I’ll just have a nice cup of tea”. "
Or...too late to drink anything now as I'm about to go to bed and that'll keep me up all night. |
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"when you wake up at 5 am for a pee "
Yep! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When your kids ask if you remember the war. |
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"when you eldest is two years off turning 40 "
When the friends baby you held within hours of his birth introduces you to his eight year old twins! |
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"When you get Sunlife shite through your letterbox "
...and Saga! |
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"Your next major life step is retirement - and you can't wait!!"
You retire and start looking for bungalows...near hospitals. |
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"...you go to a pub and the music is too loud. "
I became old when I was 20 then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you start having to pluck your eyebrows. |
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"When your kids ask if you remember the war."
...or how you managed without mobile phones! |
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You spend Sunday at B&Q looking at new sheds instead of in bed with a raging hangover
... this list is brilliant - chuckling like a village idiot! And agreed R2 rules, but I still miss Terry x |
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"When you start having to pluck your eyebrows."
Plucking nose/ear hair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you start having to pluck your eyebrows.
Plucking nose/ear hair. "
Yep, this too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you can’t keep your eyes open to watch match of the day on a Saturday night so you watch it early Sunday morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you can’t keep your eyes open to watch match of the day on a Saturday night so you watch it early Sunday morning "
Yep |
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When you've got more grey hair in your beard than red. |
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When you just can't be bothered anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You see young women going out in little tops and short skirts with no coat and your first thought is that they're going to catch a cold |
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When your body looks like it's getting that old person look. |
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When your too tired and boozed to go upstairs to go to bed, you crash out on the couch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you can't deal with drama and bitchyness around you.
Too old for this shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When your body looks like it's getting that old person look."
Crepey skin *shudders* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you post in these threads.......oh, wait!.... |
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"You know you’re getting old when.....
When you're watching a porn film and you think, fuck that bed looks comfy!
Yes! I’m also impressed with the swanky kitchens they film in!"
Yes but why are they always broken so they need to get the plumber in ? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When a lie in means you're up and about by 0835 on a Sunday morning!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You see young women going out in little tops and short skirts with no coat and your first thought is that they're going to catch a cold "
And your second is "went to school with her dad" |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When you walk past the likes of River Island and Top Shop/Man as you KNOW they won't have anything for you |
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"When your body looks like it's getting that old person look.
Crepey skin *shudders*"
I'm not quite that bad yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When your body looks like it's getting that old person look.
Crepey skin *shudders*
I'm not quite that bad yet "
Nor me, but it's only a matter of time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When any pop music is just an annoying noise & you get called a grumpy old man when you post on facebook about the loud background music in the local super market. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When you start to hear of people you were at school with dying - this has happened to me twice lately and made me acutely aware of my age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you start to hear of people you were at school with dying - this has happened to me twice lately and made me acutely aware of my age"
Your several years younger than me. Scary or what ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you don't know what's in the charts anymore and you don't know any of the new singers
When you go to a pub and look round and think what am I doing in here after seeing all the young 'uns |
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"When your body looks like it's getting that old person look.
Crepey skin *shudders*
I'm not quite that bad yet
Nor me, but it's only a matter of time "
Grim thought
I don’t think I'll sunbathe anymore,I'm staying in the shade for the rest of my life  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When an old episode of TOTP comes on and you know every single song in the Top 40 countdown and yet couldn't name a single song in the current one!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you watch TV and a film comes on that's on repeat and you say I remember seeing this at the cinema. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When an old episode of TOTP comes on and you know every single song in the Top 40 countdown and yet couldn't name a single song in the current one!!"
Thats me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When a teenager says what is that you are listening to and it's Red hot chilli peppers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you have to change your briefs as you are wet ... and it is piss not precut |
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"When you start to hear of people you were at school with dying - this has happened to me twice lately and made me acutely aware of my age"
...or say "they had a good innings"...then realise they were younger than you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When a teenager says what is that you are listening to and it's Red hot chilli peppers "
Or you sing along to a new song and your kid says how do you know this song its new out. Your reply is then i remember when it first came out |
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"When an old episode of TOTP comes on and you know every single song in the Top 40 countdown and yet couldn't name a single song in the current one!!"
Yea. A repeat of a programme of TOTP from late 80’s comes on, you probably remember all the groups/songs. Great music. A great 30mins.
Now I feel like “what’s that crap on just now”
(Pop the radio on to “Sun 80’s” radio station) |
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"When an old episode of TOTP comes on and you know every single song in the Top 40 countdown and yet couldn't name a single song in the current one!!"
So true!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When an old episode of TOTP comes on and you know every single song in the Top 40 countdown and yet couldn't name a single song in the current one!!
Yea. A repeat of a programme of TOTP from late 80’s comes on, you probably remember all the groups/songs. Great music. A great 30mins.
Now I feel like “what’s that crap on just now”
(Pop the radio on to “Sun 80’s” radio station)"
You listen to Magic instead of a Ministry of Sound album and say this is proper music |
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"When you start to hear of people you were at school with dying - this has happened to me twice lately and made me acutely aware of my age
...or say "they had a good innings"...then realise they were younger than you! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They ask you ID in the shop and you give them it and they look shocked at your date of birth. Had that happen recently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i watch porn these days my mind wanders, i think to myself:
A) i bet they go to the gym to get their legs strong enough to hold that position for so long
B) what mascara is she wearing? It’s not even budged and she’s received 5 guys cum and 2 loads went over her eyes!!
C) i like her hair
D) he looks like Dave from work
E) Nice sofa. DFS or Sofology?
F) that’s hot i’m going to cum!!!
I’d have cum in 2 seconds in my younger days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When a teenager says what is that you are listening to and it's Red hot chilli peppers
Or you sing along to a new song and your kid says how do you know this song its new out. Your reply is then i remember when it first came out"
Oh god yes |
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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
When a happy hour is a nap! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a bath you say get the old black plug and chain, it's better than this new automatic plug shit. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When you go out on a school night and spend three days recovering!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x "
And have a trip to the cinema and get popcorn for 1 shilling |
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When you go to the doctor and wonder if they’re old enough to have done their GCSEs yet. |
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"When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x "
And you carried 2p for a phone call. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you go to the doctor and wonder if they’re old enough to have done their GCSEs yet. "
When every professional you encounter is younger than you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x
And you carried 2p for a phone call. "
When there were public phones that worked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you fall over but your family hear about it and ring you and say "I believe you've had a fall" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you can only fuck not more than one round a night lol |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"When you go to the doctor and wonder if they’re old enough to have done their GCSEs yet. "
Or when you hear GCSE's said out loud and think O Levels in your head!! |
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When you make noises standing up, either groans or your knees sounding like Rice Crispies... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you make film or music references and you nust get met with a confused look 
I asked if a girl at work was a relation to Rain Man as her maths skills were amazing - her reply was "who?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you make noises standing up, either groans or your knees sounding like Rice Crispies..."
When pull your back by just getting up |
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"When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x "
My sister has lived in Italy for thirty years and almost had heart failure at the cost of public transport in London when she visited recently! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you go to the doctor and wonder if they’re old enough to have done their GCSEs yet.
Or when you hear GCSE's said out loud and think O Levels in your head!!"
I did CSE ‘s |
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When you start looking at comfort shoes and fit and flare tunic tops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When arthritis means you can no longer walk in 5 inch heels |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when im on my knees and need him to help me up  |
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"When a happy hour is a nap!"
Haha! |
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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
When you remember when toilets actually had a chain to pull |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When you own a pair of slippers for the first time in over 40 years (which recently happened to me) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you prefer to go out for a quiet meal instead of a nightclub |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"When you own a pair of slippers for the first time in over 40 years (which recently happened to me)"
I would kill for a pair of slippers....or thermal socks. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
Your original fillings start falling out... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Your original fillings start falling out..."
God I must be really old then have had replacement fillings in some of my replacement fillings!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you stop caring what everyone else thinks and realise you could have been this happy years ago!!! |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
When you realise you're old enough for overr 55's retirement properties! |
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" When you stop caring what everyone else thinks and realise you could have been this happy years ago!!!"
Hell yeah |
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By *ida8780Couple
over a year ago
any town |
When you hold Your phone with both hands away from your face and using the index finger to txt looking like a mobile phone is the newest invention |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" When you stop caring what everyone else thinks and realise you could have been this happy years ago!!!"
God yes, why did nobody tell us!! |
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By *ida8780Couple
over a year ago
any town |
Or helping a lorry driver back out onto a main road by hand signals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...you go to a pub and the music is too loud. "
Well I have ten years on you but I go to a better class of pub that ins't full of noisy kids now. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
When you can remember going to football and for the price of a programme today you could get in, buy a programme and have enough for a half time drink!! |
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When you say to youngsters ‘in my day they didn’t do it like that’
Or when you call kissing ‘snogging’.... |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"Your original fillings start falling out...
God I must be really old then have had replacement fillings in some of my replacement fillings!! "
I’m must be even older as I’ve had a tooth pulled out! |
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... when you remember traveling in the boot of a hatchback because there were too many kids in the car. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"When you hold Your phone with both hands away from your face and using the index finger to txt looking like a mobile phone is the newest invention"
I’m doing that right now. |
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... when your school used to have that tracing-paper loo roll! |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"... when your school used to have that tracing-paper loo roll! "
Oh my God!!! That was awful stuff! |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
When you fall asleep in the middle of a porn film.
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"... when your school used to have that tracing-paper loo roll! "
The teachers really should have just handed out docking leaves. It would have done a far better job than that tracing paper. |
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"When you get on the bus go to pay and think how much, I remember when it was 2and a half p for the same journey x
And you carried 2p for a phone call.
When there were public phones that worked"
Can’t remember last time I used public phone,
Usually stinking smelling of piss and the handset was a disgrace, glue or something over the ear piece. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"... when your school used to have that tracing-paper loo roll!
The teachers really should have just handed out docking leaves. It would have done a far better job than that tracing paper."
Absolutely it never ever soaked up anything! |
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"... when your school used to have that tracing-paper loo roll! "
Cheap loo roll that always seemed to easily burst while wiping yourself (yuk). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you listen to LBC in the car instead of tunes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always feel old when 18 year olds tell me their date of birth (in work) and it's the same year I left school, don't know why but that always gives me that shit I'm old feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"......Radio 1 is just a noise
Radio 2 is where it’s all happening "
Radio 4 is where it is really happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When Horlicks is a staple item on your weekly shop! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when you have to start shaving your ears and asking the missus to pluck hairs growing out of your nose (not your nostrils - your fucking nose FFS!) |
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"I always feel old when 18 year olds tell me their date of birth (in work) and it's the same year I left school, don't know why but that always gives me that shit I'm old feeling. "
When some new young person starts work and you realise you been working the same job as long as they have been alive. |
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I realised at a time when I saw a pretty girl in sainsburys, then realised I fancied her mum more |
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"I always feel old when 18 year olds tell me their date of birth (in work) and it's the same year I left school, don't know why but that always gives me that shit I'm old feeling. "
Try working with people who are 21 and weren't born when you left school (or college). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When the sex drys up that i know when i getting to old |
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... you remember when playgrounds had concrete around the swings and slides instead of rubber flooring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some younger man is telling me about a club I've never even heard about in town and is on about apps I don't use. I'm officially old! |
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"... when you remember traveling in the boot of a hatchback because there were too many kids in the car. "
My parents used to put my cot in the boot of our triumph vittese with me still in it cause my brother and sisters we taking up all the back seat already ! |
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"when you have to start shaving your ears and asking the missus to pluck hairs growing out of your nose (not your nostrils - your fucking nose FFS!) "
Being single, my barber "threads" my hooter - and it hurts like billy o!
Oh yes, and that's another thing that happens when you're getting older - you find yourself using phrases that your parents used. |
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When you have a partner that looks like Jason Statham and all you want him to bring to the bedroom is your hot water bottle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... you remember when playgrounds had concrete around the swings and slides instead of rubber flooring. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... you remember when playgrounds had concrete around the swings and slides instead of rubber flooring. "
And those lethal leg breaker roundabouts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cum and you shit yourself"
You to eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You bend down to tie a shoe lace and you have a glance around to see what else you can do while your down there .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you tell someone, "That's my chair!!" |
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"You bend down to tie a shoe lace and you have a glance around to see what else you can do while your down there .... "
Or you can't get out of a chair or straighten up without making some kind of noise... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You bend down to tie a shoe lace and you have a glance around to see what else you can do while your down there ....
Or you can't get out of a chair or straighten up without making some kind of noise..."
When you're getting out of bed and make more noise then a 70's Porn star. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"You cum and you shit yourself
You to eh? "
Ha ha ha!!!! Love it! |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"......Radio 1 is just a noise
Radio 2 is where it’s all happening
Radio 4 is where it is really happening"
Yes it’s Radio 4 for me as well! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything you type ends up arse about face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your favourite pornstar now resides in the "Vintage" section of P0rnHub |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
You remember the BBC test card.....that girl playing noughts & crosses |
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"You remember the BBC test card.....that girl playing noughts & crosses "
The test card ran longer than most people realise.
Did you know one of the “crosses” in the naughts and crosses game she plays indicates the middle of the screen (so I believe) |
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By *immCouple
over a year ago
Stourport on Severn |
You no longer put your socks on standing up. |
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